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@sapuchie-blog
by the end of summer (at Hokkaido University) https://www.instagram.com/p/B17Yg0rAacH/?igshid=1ibo831d4fbvz
[Fate]
February 8th, 2017 00:29
She can’t understand For what everyone says about her She can’t reveal anything About life she wants to leave
She can’t find out What has been missing in her life Which everything become unseen For what they see and think
Whenever she looked at the mirror She disappointed for the shadow before her eyes The wreckage of the past And wounds which can’t be healed
Wherever she looked outside She wished for someone else’s days Another future for another reason And wished become whom she wasn't
Flawless fate which come into their sight Fortune life they think she has Those are everything she is longing for Everything she is waiting for
[Sway]
February 1st, 2017 01:22
You came in sudden with those laughters All matters which never crossed my day Another me who can share whatever Then I fall in your sway
You brought me hope and colours For every night I hear you say The same words and wonders So I dream in your sway
You hide those shattered smiles When everything has turned to grey We ran and ignored more miles And I hurt in your sway
You leave in sudden and all gone astray For all the right reasons in array And here I try to walk away Or stay in your sway
Deciding Decisions
January 15th, 2017
In life, we always face any options. If you’re a grown up, its consequences are getting harder for each. And in one point, you may getting tired thinking about what to decide.
So what makes it become such a serious problem? It’s because we expect the best one, yet matched with our ego.
Sometimes, there’s nothing as simple as that. What we really want might not the best one, and vice versa. Don’t you think that somehow we think so hard considering the good and bad side of these options? While we surely not knowing what would happen in future. But we are so worry wondering the consequences if we choose the wrong one. Thinking that everyone will blame us by deciding recklessly. No one want any regret.
But, is it the main problem? The thing is not always about “what to decide”, but “how to deal with our decision”. The hardest part is how we get through after we made one decision, because we will never know what might happen later. Sometimes we blame ourselves by choosing the wrong one, when it soon goes bad. Have we ever think, that it turned bad because we couldn’t handle the problems after we made any decision? Even the best-looking option might turn bad if we couldn’t deal with the following issues.
So the good or bad end is obviously depend to the way we bring it, right after we made any decision. No matter what option that we choose.
----- bysapuchie -----
these writing are based on my own opinion, not refer to any theory
Dear 2016,
A year full of madness Joyful days to remember Horrible nightmares to forget A time as I fell down deeper
A year full of life lessons Love, hatred, doubts, compassion Towards mistakes I made And times of losing track
A year of transition A chance to fix all disarray A chance to be a better person A chance to live righteously
The way I am
November 26th, 2016
Warm shade is fading as leaves fall from branches.. then, what’s left is just a silhouette of the empty tree.. Tucked by the chill breeze..
- Carra’s Charm -
[Crossroads]
December 20th, 2016
I found myself in the ruins of us Where I could barely speak honestly What my heart wants to tell
Should I walk away from your eyes Should I vanish from your thoughts
I found myself in a crossroads Where I could barely find a way out All I want is just stay
It was your presence I need All your thoughts I want to hear But it was lies I found It was unreal after all
I’m lost As I walk in stray I’m here As I walk nowhere
[Darkest Night]
December 19th, 2016
It was me who stuck in the same day And refuse to see tomorrow It was me who regret everything But refuse to let go of them
Sometimes I’m afraid of being alone While I can’t stop being one Sometimes I need to quit When all kindness turned into hatred
I look for a light but walk to a darker side I hold my mind but lose my sanity My ego has invade me At time I ask myself to wake up
I saw the truth I heard the fight I felt the hurt Yet, I stay in the same night
They have no mouth, but seem to speak A thousand words so mild and meek. They have no eyes , but seem to see And bury thoughts into me. They have no ears, but seem to hear All my cries, my every tear. They have no feet, but seem to walk Along with me in my dreams and talk. - a part of poem by Pearlyn, "Flowers" - // it's not my newest painting, actually it was my 1st painting after joined Rachel Ajeng's watercolor painting workshop //
a silly fight in my head
Can i have my own private territory, PLEASE...!!! | later when u already have ur own | FAK..!!! | those are my things..!!! | well this is not ur house anyway | get me out of here!! | DEEEM..!! | go find a job to rent ur own space then | or can i just marry someone instead? | *#=%+^¥€|?#{*=@$ | stupid!! | okay my bad 😔😭
Actual Children’s Answers to The Question “What Is Love?”
“Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.” - Chrissy, age 6 “Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.” - Terri, age 4 “Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.” - Danny, age 7 “Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss.” - Emily, age 8
“Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.” - Bobby, age 7
“If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,” - Nikka, age 6
“Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.” - Noelle, age 7
“Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.” - Tommy, age 6
“During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.” - Cindy, age 8
“My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.” - Clare, age 6
“Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.” - Elaine, age 5
“Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Brad Pitt.” - Chris, age 7
“Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.” - Mary Ann, age 4
“I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.” - Lauren, age 4
“When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.” - Rebecca, age 8
“When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.” - Karen, age 7
“You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.” - Jessica, age 8
kids are much much much smarter than us about love.
benar .. bahkan anak kecil tau yang benar benar namanya cinta
aaawwwwchhh,, these are sooo sweeeettt.... ^^
[Mute]
March 6th, 2016
Sometimes I want to close my eyes So I can’t see the dazzling temptation Which might distract me from the truth Through and through
I want to close my ears To protect me from the smooth lies As it drowns me within the terrible thoughts Deep and beyond
I want to close my lips To keep me from the harsh words In time of difficulties fulfilled with rumors Random and noise
As it always blinding As it always cloaking As it always whispering
The time I can’t stand with my mind More reasons, more visions, more truths, more lies Popping in my head like a bubble Crossing between winding lines
The time I can’t judge nor defend Inside the thin edge of right and wrong Eventually I need to wait for more days Because it only ends when mind stop thinking and heart stop beating
And at the time there will be a long mute
[Deja Vu]
February 7th, 2016
I saw the same twist with the same sequence and I knew exactly how it goes
I feel the same circle with the same rumpled thread but I’ll never know where it ends
I evade the same impression with the same ignorance and I keep struggling on what I perceive
I trust onto the same thought as I try to escape from this endless deja vu
Brahmana Day
So this is it..!! My final struggle as a Landscape Architect..! My dream and passion at this study..
It’s been years with adorable classmates. Fight together, support each other. I will never done this “safely” without their presence. It is obviously something for me.
So it was my thesis defense day last 29th January. It has been a super stressful week (or month) before. It didn’t turn out well and way below my expectation. But anyway,, it’s over..!!
And it was just our hilarious ritual every time one of us accomplish our thesis defense. Every one has their own theme and title with sash and other fancy attributes. For me, it was “Brahmana” theme, as they always mention me a #DutaBrahmana. And moreover, we should perform a “runway-like” along the campus garden lane. Such a super embarrassed moment..! But funny that it was really made my day.
Thanks a bunch for every little (actually was huge) things they gave me,, so grateful to have them.
xoxo
[Ego]
January 12th, 2016
there was a time I had been swallowed by my selfish side and my mind was taken over by my own sight there are truths I had always ignore and took me to a wrong demeanour
As my ego starts to undermine my thoughts it ruins anything I had built when every single time filled with doubts I chose to give up without knowing what I was dealing with
for each day I thought I was delicate but in fact it was myself whom I hate when it is already too late to reach what I had left
by this time I try to rule out my anger forgive myself for the shatter by this time I let my heart feel what it wants to not impose what it should do
= 5 o'clock tea = Rainy afternoon with The Royal Afternoon by Havilla Tea . I do love the light fruity floral notes and fresh apple after taste 😋 . P.S please ignore the lazy black cat behind 😅 . #havillamoment #havillatea #TeaTime #RoyalAfternoon #alaalasapu
[Another You]
It happens only when you’re not around When there’s no other sound in this bed And it starts turning me upside down And it starts buzzing in my head
I didn’t count how many questions I’ve been asking When it keeps pulling me back and forth for several times I can’t handle my mind to get drowned in my own thinking While another you were walking down in different rimes
It happens only at midnight When I feel that you’re just almost here And it starts to fade in fright And it starts to tuck me tight
#ruangrenung #bysapuchie