Sara Alva

Author of gay romance novels www.SaraAlva.com

[saraalva]

Telepaths, trouble makers, skeptics, a serial killer, and a sexual awakening. On KU for a limited time :)

Playing God - Kindle edition by Alva, Sara . Romance Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.

[batboyblog]

Gay Book you NEED! to READ!

you over there! you want to read gay books? YA gay books? good, here’s the must must MUST read books, AND MOST IMPORTANT! when you pick one up and read it TELL ME!

Earth to Charlie Boy Meets Boy Jack of Hearts Openly Straight One Man Guy Love & Other Curses The House of Impossible Beauties Totally Joe Hero Freak Show So Hard to Say Gives Light Alan Cole Is Not a Coward Alan Cole Doesn’t Dance How to Repair a Mechanical Heart Silent Tales from Foster High The Lightning-Struck Heart A Destiny of Dragons The Consumption of Magic A Wish Upon the Stars The Boy Who Couldn’t Fly Straight The Boy Who Couldn’t Fly Home The Dangerous Art of Blending In Social Intercourse Play Me, I’m Yours Peter Darling More Than This The Five Stages of Andrew Brawley Life as a Teenage Vampire Felix Yz Autoboyography Junior Hero Blues They Both Die at the End The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue Stranger Than Fanfiction History Is All You Left Me 366 Days The Red Sheet When Everything Feels Like the Movies Half Bad Half Wild Half Lost Here’s to You, Zeb Pike When Ryan Came Back Because You’ll Never Meet Me Wonders of the Invisible World Haffling The Screwed Up Life of Charlie the Second I’ll Give You the Sun Carry On Suicide Watch Ray of Sunlight More Happy Than Not Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda (In)visible After School Activities Two Boys Kissing Rainbow Boys There Goes Sunday School The Past and Other Things That Should Stay Buried The Darkest Part of the Forest We Are the Ants Marco Impossible Fan Art My Awesome/Awful Popularity Plan Grasshopper Jungle Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe Social Skills At the Edge of the Universe The Art of Starving The Song of Achilles The Love Interest Carry the Ocean How Not to Ask a Boy to Prom

if you have any questions need help picking something else, want to tell me about a book, really anything send me an ask I’m open 24/7 don’t be shy

[thegayfleet]

Here you go anon!

[saraalva]

<3

[geekdawson]

one of the more valuable things I’ve learned in life as a survivor of a mentally unstable parent is that it is likely that no one has thought through it as much as you have. 

no, your friend probably has not noticed they cut you off four times in this conversation. 

no, your brother didn’t realize his music was that loud while you were studying. 

no, your bff or S.O. doesn’t remember that you’re on a tight deadline right now.

no, no one else is paying attention to the four power dynamics at play in your friend group right now.  

a habit of abused kids, especially kids with unstable parents, is the tendency to notice every little detail. We magnify small nuances into major things, largely because small nuances quickly became breaking points for parents. Managing moods, reading the room, perceiving danger in the order of words, the shift of body weight….it’s all a natural outgrowth of trying to manage unstable parents from a young age. 

Here’s the thing: most people don’t do that. I’m not saying everyone else is oblivious, I’m saying the over analysis of minor nuances is a habit of abuse. 

I have a rule: I do not respond to subtext. This includes guilt tripping, silent treatments, passive aggressive behavior, etc. I see it. I notice it. I even sometimes have to analyze it and take a deep breath and CHOOSE not to respond. Because whether it’s really there or just me over-reading things that actually don’t mean anything, the habit of lending credence to the part of me that sees danger in the wrong shift of body weight…that’s toxic for me. And dangerous to my relationships. 

The best thing I ever did for myself and my relationships was insist upon frank communication and a categorical denial of subtext. For some people this is a moral stance. For survivors of mentally unstable parents this is a requirement of recovery. 

[lysikan]

If it wasn’t stated outright - it wasn’t said.

[theselfcarelifestyle]

This is really one of the most important reads

[mugenmcfugen]

this is fucking good advice

[vstheworld]

I’ve had to explain so many times to my partner—say what you mean, tell me what’s happening verbally and as clearly as you can, because my subtext interpretation is wired all wrong, and you won’t like what I come up with. It’s a struggle sometimes, but it helps.

Just make sure you’re not demanding this communication in an immediate timeframe if the other party needs some time to process what they’re feeling into actual words.

[saraalva]

gab is a fox! on Twitter

“• Silent by Sara Alva. “The shit you know is always less frightening than the shit you've yet to experience.””

<3

[just-shower-thoughts]

RIP all the comments fully typed and proofed by introverts, cancelled and abandoned just before submission

[saraalva]

The most true post ever

[irishiris]

[vaspider]

YES PLEASE AND THANK YOU.

[drarryking]

This is actually info I didn’t know

[marauders4evr]

Seriously folks review my books! Review everyone’s books!

It’s the difference between Amazon giving a damn about you verses pushing your book to the bottom of the food chain. 

[hunterraiehorror]

Re-blog if you're accepting anonymous asks from anyone about anything.

[aieki-deactivated20111126-deact]

Reblog if you've formed a meaningful relationship with someone you met online.

[batboyblog]

you over there! you want to read gay books? YA gay books? good, here’s the must must MUST read books, AND MOST IMPORTANT! when you pick one up and read it TELL ME! 

Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz

Silent by Sara Alva

One Man Guy by Michael Barakiva

Wonders of the Invisible World by Christopher Barzak

The Darkest Part of the Forest by Holly Black

Gives Light by Rose Christo

Carry the Ocean by Heidi Cullinan

Tales from Foster High by John Goode

Half Bad Books (Half Bad, Half Wild, Half Lost) by Sally Green

Totally Joe by James Howe

After School Activities by Dirk Hunter

The Five Stages of Andrew Brawley by Shaun David Hutchinson

We Are the Ants by Shaun David Hutchinson

At the Edge of the Universe by Shaun David Hutchinson

The Boy Who Couldn’t Fly Straight by Jeff Jacobson

Haffling by Caleb James

The Red Sheet by Mia Kerick

The Lightning-Struck Heart by T.J. Klune

Openly Straight by Bill Konigsberg

Boy Meets Boy by David Leviathan

How to Repair a Mechanical Heart by J.C. Lillis

When Ryan Came Back by Devon McCormack

Hero by Perry Moore

Teeth by Hannah Moskowitz

I’ll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson

Play Me, I’m Yours by Madison Parker

Here’s to You, Zeb Pike by Johanna Parkhurst

When Everything Feels Like the Movies by Raziel Reid

The Hammer of Thor by Rick Riordan

The Hidden Oracle by Rick Riordan

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell

Rainbow Boys by Alex Sanchez

So Hard to Say by Alex Sanchez

More Happy Than Not by Adam Silvera

History is All You Left Me by Adam Silvera

Freak Show by James St. James

Ray of Sunlight by Brynn Stein

(In)visible by Anyta Sunday

366 Days by Kiyoshi Tanaka

Because You’ll Never Meet Me by Leah Thomas

Fan Art by Sarah Tregay

Suicide Watch by Kelley York

if you have any questions need help picking something else, want to tell me about a book, really anything send me an ask I’m open 24/7 don’t be shy

[theslaybymic]

Watch: Kristen Bell opens up about the mental health double standard and how she manages her own struggle.

Follow @this-is-life-actually

[laureninlilly]

Hit reblog on this so hard

[yyyyddmmsupremacy-deactivated20]

Book characters that at first make you think “Holy shit this guy is an asshole” and by the end make you think “If anyone touches this person I will destroy them” are the best tbh

[saraalva]

me before showering: i don’t want to shower

me once in the shower: i live here now

[akamatthewmurdock]

SENSE8 Cast filming at the Parada do Orgulho LGBT in São Paulo, Brazil

[saraalva]

They get to have so much fun!

[el-corruptor]

[thegayaxeman]

It’s Mumbai Pride Parade! ❤️

[vajeentambourine]

Your mixed feelings about your parents are valid.

Shout out to people like me who have parents who are loving but are black holes of emotional labor… It took me a long time to realize that it’s okay to have mixed feelings about your parents, about your relationship with them.

Sometimes parents can love you but be somewhat toxic to you and your growth, and that’s a very hard realization to come to if you, like me, grew up extremely close to them.

Sometimes parents can love you genuinely but lack emotional maturity, forcing you to perform disproportionate amounts of emotional labor. Some parents manifest symptoms of their mental illness in ways that are toxic to your mental illness.

Some parents, like mine, try so hard to be good parents but fall back on habits of emotional manipulation because they haven’t processed their own traumas and are modeling behavior they grew up with. That doesn’t make their behavior acceptable, and it’s okay to feel exhausted and hurt when they betray you. You don’t have to forgive every mistake.

I want you to know that it’s okay to protect yourself, to need some space apart from them. The love you have for your parents is still valid, and you are making the right decision.

Placing a safe emotional distance between myself and my parents has been one of the most difficult, heartbreaking processes I’ve ever gone through… it hurts to try to curb the strength of your own natural empathy around people you love. It feels disingenuous to your heart’s natural state.

But I promise you, you are not hard-hearted or ungrateful, and you are not abandoning them. You are making a decision about your own emotional, mental, and spiritual health.

I know what it’s like in that confusing grey area of love mixed with guilt and anxiety, of exhaustion and quasi-manipulation and unreciprocated emotional labor, and I promise you, you are not alone.

Your mixed feelings about your parents are valid.

[absentlyabbie]

should i be in bed? yes

am i? hell no

[coffeebuddha]

should i be in bed? no

am i? hell yes

[iamkatebishop]

there are two kinds of people

[absentlyabbie]

you misunderstand, we’re both of them

[saraalva]

Audiobook narrator Joseph Northton and I have a GRL countdown post over on The Novel Approach today! Stop by to read my (somewhat goofy) interview with him and for a chance to win an audiobook of Pura Vida. :)

(via Interview and Giveaway: The Countdown to GayRomLit with Sara Alva and Joseph Northton)