Sarah Repohio

[sarahrepohio]

It's me who haven't changed.

[sarahrepohio]

I hate myself. Why I'm so dumb and stupid. And dumb!

[sarahrepohio]

I'm sick. I hate falling in love.

[sarahrepohio]

24th years of existence

Today is my birthday, my co-workers celebrated my birthday with me. This is my first time someone other my family created a little celebration for me...

The flowers bloomed, and my mind became clearer. I am now starting to realize what I wanted.

The pink lenses I saw when we were waiting for my birthday to come. Honestly, I just told myself to enjoy this feeling and never expect things to evolve any further. I know that my appearance is not there, thus I just enjoy and just don't get hurt.

I'm so hopeless, but 24 is a big day to celebrate. But my mind wonders and wishes someone to share this feeling.

Today is such a happy day, they bought me a cake.

I want to see my green lenses with victory written on it.

[sarahrepohio]

REGRET

Regret is a very dangerous thing. I don't want to regret my decision for the rest of my life. Lord, please help me with my anxiety. I can't do this anymore.

Regret is always in my mind. I thought I was okay and making the right decision back then, but now I keep regretting it for not doing it. Please, someone help me. I am scared.

Regret is keeping me insane. How would we know we are making the right decision? Why am I so dumb and stupid. I'm so stupid.

Regret. Regret. Regret. I don't want to live like this regretting the things I could have get 10 years from now. I want to be free. Help me.

[sarahrepohio]

Keep calm and study. Consistency is the key. I need to start in my advance accounting, this is my weakest.

[sarahrepohio]

Refresh

Me and my co-workers (and my dearest friends) went to an outing and have a refresh in our lives. If I am the same from back then, I would have said 'no' and just sleep at home, but I really want to make memories with them. I realized that it is such a waste in my youth if I do not do new things in my life. We are not forever be 23 years old. Have fun and have a break from study or from your work. I am glad I went with them. I had so much fun.

[sarahrepohio]

Interview...

I have an interview tomorrow and I need to shut my shit. I need to calm down. Inhale and exhale. I don't want to work. I don't know what to do with my life. Okay, clam down. I need to face this. I need to go to an interview. Plan my life and help my parents. Calm down. I need to prepare for tomorrow, wake up at 6:30 AM and commute by 7:30 AM. It doesn't mean, I will be accepted by them. This is an interview. Let them interview, it doesn't mean you will be working now. Calm down. Inhale, exhale.

[sarahrepohio]

Stressful in finding jobs...

You know the feeling when you looked up for your next job and the time the interviewer sent back an invitation for job interviews, I realized I do not want a job *sobs* I do not know what I am going to do, like I'm so lost. Or am I just scared to try the interview. Is it because I am alone, but I really do not know what to do. I am lost and I do not want to do the job. Oh my God, it's me! It's me! I do not want to work!

[sarahrepohio]

Start: 5:35 PM, June 27, 2024 Updated and edited: 8:33 pm, July 30, 2024

I've been feeling deeply disappointment towards people around me. I feel that the compassion is not present anymore, and I know myself that I do not have that anymore.

Today, I message my old classmate if the job she was working now is pleasant and nice. I am torn between quitting my job without my overtime pay and staying until I gets my OT pay. Should I let go? I am not happy anymore.

I hated asking my co-worker because it feels like I am begging them to do the client's request, which is their job to do. I feel shit every time they reject my requests. I do not know if I can wait any longer.

I am mad. I feel dejected. I am mad. Annoyed. What is this kind of workplace? I gave up and I'm confused. Conflicted. This is reality and I decided I should fight it. I decided to put some effort and seize what I think I deserve. Tomorrow is the start of my battle. Stop worrying and fight. I deserve everything I have worked for whole year. Goodbye.

[sarahrepohio]

BIG DECISIONS

I do not know what I'm supposed to do. I'm always uncertain. Even after doing my best, I'm still uncertain. What should I do?

[bamtese]

double whammy at the eurocup kiss cam

[sarahrepohio]

I'm 23 now

So my birthday is on May 25, 2024 and I got off from work at 11:55 pm of May 24, 2024. I started writing some entry while I was riding a jeep but did not finish it, so here it goes.

Entry: Happy birthday to me, at 11:25 pm - May 28, 2024.

There are so many things that had happened in my life after graduating in college. And I realized, I have changed. In a bad way, haha.

But I mean, I cannot entirely blame myself for that because my work environment is really toxic and after busy season my anxiety do not want to be controlled now that I have free time to think about my future and my well-being.

I'm 23 now and I can do anything I can do.

But as I was reaching this age, I realized that I am stressed and sad. Angry every time and lonely. Feels shit and feels pretty but feels shit most of the time. Hard to laugh and find anything hilarious.

To be honest, the reason why I remembered to continue writing this entry because I saw a video (title: First 100 Days: Unfucking Your Life)

Sigh.

I'm actually tired now. I want to study. I want to sleep.

I'm 23 now and I need to change my path.

I will clean my work desk tomorrow and starts making my pending work. I need to let go. And oh, I will also start a journal.

I am actually grateful and happy for everything that happened to me.

I'm 23 now. I AM 23 NOW. ISN'T IT EXCITING?!

[sarahrepohio]

I did not know that this was going to be tiring and exhausting.

[mattsmemes]

[sarahrepohio]

I saw a photo online and made some edits about how I am feeling going back to work after the client made my life so difficult. They are my last straw of quitting my current job. I feel like some boundaries need to be made. Clients can't ask everything and make us do everything outside my applied job description and beyond the salary rate.

[sarahrepohio]

Dreams

Have you ever had a dream when you were a kid and did not follow it because you thought it was childish, can't feed your family and it was impossible? No? Only me? I'm glad you are pursuing your dreams. Go for it! You can do it. This is your sign!