My heart is torn between going back to Australia and staying in Belgium. As in Belgium I'll have a bright future; finishing that last year of my degree, working at my dads company, getting together with the guy I loved and being close to family and friends. But I've always seen the bigger picture, I've always wanted to go away from Belgium, to a country with more opportunities and I've been chasing that dream since I got at Uni. Now I can proudly say that I am living my dream. So since I got back in Belgium I got confronted to what my life could have been. It's somehow painful to see it. This feeling of unfinished business is killing me. In a few months so many things have changed. Friends settling, my youngest siblings growing taller than me, some other friends working at the big companies where I also had an internship spot right before I left Belgium and so much more. I should not compare my journey with someone else's but I can't help but look at what we've become because we started off together. And yes, I'm looking for a reason to stay in Belgium. Love, family and friends are good reasons and I might give in to that. But I'd be a fool to trade it for my happiness? Right now Australia makes me happy - am I bipolar?- and that's what I'm going for. When I sit back and think about my life - Nina, this one is for you -, I see that is not that bad. The little life I'm building for myself looks pretty good so far. I've made bad choices in Australia. (Like, when I first got in Perth, I found a taxi and wanted to sit in the passengers seat in a taxi but realized the wheel is the right side of the car... blame it on the jet lag) I know now how to make things right. I'm happy, I'm working towards a good career, I have friends from all over the globe. Love and family are complicated. But when has that ever been easy? I need to cut some people off before they bring me down. It might all seem effortless but it's not. This post is just for me to look back to where I come from and be reminded of what I want. I've been blessed all along and I should not forget to put Him first.
areudirty
titsay