hi! how are you? i just returned to tumblr after leaving it for a bit. i've reread someof the things i liked in the past and UP was one of them. just wanted to ask if you're still plannning on continuing the story? i enjoyed rereading it
Hello!
The fact that people are still reading my stuff after a long period of being...well gone is truly remarkable to me! I truly appreciate everyone continuing to read and enjoy my stories.
The short answer to your question is Yes. Unwavering Presence is still happeneing!
However, My plans for the story is to do a complete rewrite of the story. I have re read UP numerous times since being quiet on tumblr and I'm simply not happy with it. There are some continuity issues with stuff i wrote AND what happens canonically in the books. For the entirety of my life I have written stories on whim and my long form series always seem to suffer because I am focused on how I feel now instead of having a thought out plan.
Your ask has had me thinking about this series and the potential it can have to be my best work and I want to give the time to plot out things in the stories and major connections that will flow a lot more fluidly than what I have at the moment.
I am thinking of making Reader an OC to give me more of a chance to connect with her and her motivations.
I want to make this a genuine slow burn. Where you can feel their pining.
I want to dive deeper to the Readers time in the Spring.
I want write my antagonist better. Genuinely!
There is so much I have planned and genuinely excited to sit and plot this out. Alas this will take some time!
I am talking about all the changes I want to make but I want to make it clear too that core elements of what people loved would still be there. Reader and Rhys' friendship, the complicated dynamic of Feyre and Reader's relationship and how they work through that for example. They will just be written to seem more earned than what I have.
I don't have a timeline for this as I am also having a baby at the end of June and just unsure when I am going to be able to make time for writing.
So, yes Unwavering Presence is still in the books just not sure when we'll be back!
If you have read to this point I applaud you for sticking to my long-winded response! I appreciate your love for reading this story and I hope you stick along with me!
Summary - 4 years of friendship had always meant so much more than Feyre and Mor believed
Warnings - Friends to lovers with a touch of angst, mentions of wine, some longing, that gift giving anxiety, probably a missed error or two (if you see them, no you didn't 😭)
A/n - Happy Solstice and Secret Santa @dreamlandreader I'm so sorry I wasn't as active as I had planned to be for this event. I hope I made your cozy with a touch of angst friends to lovers dream come true with this. Its my first time writing Mor and Feyre, but its definitely a dynamic I want to play more with! Merry Christmas, dear ❤️
Pine, cinnamon, and warmth greeted Feyre as she walked into the Riverhouse. The yearly Inner Circle Solstice Party was in full swing, laughter ringing out and drinks flowing as she removed her wool coat. She could feel her lips twitch, a small smile appearing as the familiar sound of heels clicking on the floors approached her.
“Feyre! Thank the Mother,” Mor giggled. “I am so tired of these males.” She motioned, soft blonde curls bouncing as she did to where Cassian and Azriel were already in a heated debate. “Come drink with me,” before she could protest, Morrigan grabbed her hand, fingers lacing together.
That simple gesture was one of many that had Feyre confused about the unspoken between her and Mor. Friendship had become the two of them being inseparable. So much so that they both agreed it was as if the Mother called them home when they met each other. They had once called it sisterhood, but even now, they both knew that didn't fit what they needed it to. So many questions were unclear between the two of them, lingering touches, prolonged glances, late night talks after everyone else had turned in for the night. Feyre had noticed the tension growing more as her birthday and Solstice grew closer, her mind constantly playing scenarios of what Mor must be planning.
Feyre's own plan had become bold, even for her. She just needed one opening, a moment between the two of them where she felt brave, but now wasn't that time as the of them began walking to a secluded corner, Feyre giving an occasional wave as she did, “What are we drinking,” Feyre's voice barely hid the trembling of nerves she was feeling, her mask of smiles never cracked, though.
Mor simply smiled, “I may have gotten into Rhysand's wine cellar. I may have a bottle hidden just for us.” That tug came again, Feyre's lips turning to a grin as the two of them began to fall into their routine. A moment of laughter, a moment of gossip, a moment of shock at the disbelief of other fae's behavior. They observed their friends around them, laughing as Cassian ranked Azriel. Rolling their eyes and look of disbelief as Amren judged her expensive gift from Rhysand.
As the two of them started their third glass, a small weight reminded Feyre of its presence. This would be their 4th year of this tradition: Small presents exchanged away from the Inner circle. They had their gifts they exchanged with everyone else, then something private, something their own later and as Mor took the lead, moving to a new room away from the others, Feyre felt her chest grow tight.
This year's gift was one Feyre had spent hours crafting. One she hoped Morrigan would love and wear daily. A dainty gold locket with three small stars and Ramiel on its front. The inside was where something special sat. Feyre had spent hours using her smallest and finest brushes, painting intricate line by line until the memory of her and Mor on the battlefield together stared back at her. That moment, though brutal, was one that the two of them held near and dear. That moment had been when their chemistry truly fell into place as their trust and friendship was tested. That moment had been the one where Feyre knew Morrigan wasn't a passing feeling, but a permanent mark on her heart and soul, and now a golden locket would let Morrigan carry the moment close to her heart at all times.
“Offly quiet tonight,” rich brown eyes studied Feyre, the much older fae female seeming to read her body language and mind without needing magic to do so. “Is it the company?”
Feyre could only chuckle, eyes beginning to sparkle as the back and forth began, “Don't be silly.” She took a sip of the tart wine, praying for bravery as nerves began to bubble up. “If I wanted different company, I'd go find Cassian.”
Mor blinked at her, eyes then going wide, “Cassian? Here I was thinking you enjoyed the finer things, Fey. Might have to return your gift.” She leaned in, playful nudging Feyre with her shoulder. “What is on your mind? It's your birthday and Solstice! We're celebrating! You shouldn't be sad!”
A faint flush made Feyre's brain pause. Mor had always been known to list things in the order she found their importance. Rhysand over Amren, Cassian over Azriel, or Azriel over Cassian depending on the day, Elain over Nesta. To hear “your birthday” over “Solstice” was just another reminder to Feyre of how deep their friendship was.
“Did you want to exchange gifts,” Feyre's sudden question made Mor seem to glow, eyes sparkling.
“You're nervous?”
And there was no way to hide it as Feyre's whispered reply came, “Yes.” Trembling hands reached into her dress pocket, thanking the designer for including something so useful, and she pulled out the crystal box; another handpicked touch she hoped Mor knew was just for her. “I had this made for you, well, and I also made it,” her voice was barely a whisper as butterflies began to land deep in her stomach. “I know we always agreed no jewelry, but I wanted-”
A soft hand, lightly scarred from years of training, slid over Feyre's. “Just let me see,” Mor's voice was a balm, soothing a budding ounce of anxiousness Feyre held. “I am sure I can forgive you for breaking the no jewelry rule.” As if she was taking glass, Morrigan slid the box from Feyre's hands, setting it on the table before pulling out her own small red paper wrapped gift. “Besides, I broke the rule, too.”
Her hands met Feyre's again, placing the gift in Feyre's. The two shared a moment of silence before nodding, a long ago set code that they'd made to open every gift at the same time. Feyre pulled the satin white bow, ribbon coming apart easily as she did, but soft gasp made her pause, looking up at where Mor had her mouth covered with a perfectly manicured hand.
“Oh Feyre, how long did this take,” her eyes darted over every detail of the small painting. “How?”
“Several months and very tiny brushes,” Feyre smiled. “Some detail omission on things the mind automatically fills in was done, but I'm really proud of how it turned out.”
Mor smiled at that, knowing her beloved friend could and would explain everything down to the paint layering process if she asked. The locket sparkled as she took it from the cushion. “You even got a longer chain!”
“You mentioned wanting a layering necklace,” Feyre reminded her, causing Mor to smile and nod before turning her back to Feyre, locket held out. She pulled her hair up, a silent plea for Feyre to put the necklace on her.
They'd done this countless times, but the air felt different at this moment. The unspoken feelings between the two of them seemed to become more apparent, eating into the moment and demanding to be heard and healed like an ache. Feyre stilled her shaking hands, touching the fragile clasp as she moved to put the necklace around Morrigan's slender neck.
As her blonde curls fell back down, Morrigan turned straightening the necklace,“Well? Is it perfect?”
“You always are,” Feyre answered, blue eyes going wide as she realized the slip up.
It was Morrigan's turn to blush, her mind immediately blaming the wine. Despite knowing better, she couldn't help but reply. “Am I?” That unspoken rose again, buzzing as the two of them stood close together. “Finish opening your gift.” Morrigan reached around Feyre, fingers brushing her exposed arm as she did. Both of them noticed the chills Feyre immediately felt along her arm, but neither mentioned it as they both felt a heat begin between them, both of their secret plans falling into place, “You are going to love it.”
She placed the red box back in Feyre's waiting hand, but kept herself close. Feyre's fingers worked at tearing the paper, the ripping one of her favorite noises. A black jewelry box sat inside, Mor hiding her excitement as Feyre opened it. Inside sat a silver necklace, centered on the thin chain was a 7 point star, diamond resting in the middle and sparkling. “It's the Carynth,” Mor explained. “To make sure you can always be guided home during your adventures with Rhysand or whatever!”
Without her even asking, Mor stepped even closer, removing the necklace from the box. Their faces almost touched as she began unclasping it, arms wrapping around Feyre's neck to put the gift on. Citrus and cinnamon filled her nose as Mor worked, the gentle click ensuring the gift was in place.
Mor stood in place, arms unmoving. Those butterflies appeared again, causing Feyre's stomach to go tight. “Morrigan?”
“Feyre?”
“What are we doing,” her question was breathless, vulnerability and yearning hanging in each whimpered word.
Mor's tone was as gentle, matching Feyre's as she spoke again, “Tell me what you think we are doing?”
“Longing,” the answer hung, but Mor, ever quick on her feet had the answer.
“Then maybe we should stop longing and start living?” A rapid nod barely made it out before something magnetic pulled them closer, breathing falling into sync as they stared at each other, daring the other to be the one to cross the line.
This was the grey in Feyre's plan, her mind scared of the hurt misreading the cues she was being given could bring. “You know I won't,” Feyre reminded her. “You know-” A soft press of lips against hers stopped that sentence. Mor had closed the remaining distance throwing all caution to the winds and fate to the stars as she did.
Feyre's hands moved, resting on Morrigan's back as she responded, hoping each second they connected communicated 4 years of wanting this exact moment. 4 years of knowing deep down that the build of their friendship was something more. 4 years of her loving someone she had found untouchable.
Morrigan's lips seemed to repeat those feelings back to her as the kiss grew deeper, a hand moving to the back of Feyre's neck to position her exactly as Mor wanted. Feyre's lips were as soft as her dreams had told her they'd be and tasted like what Mor could only describe as magic.
Their foreheads rested together, eyes both shut as they pulled apart. The silence between them no longer screamed, but instead seemed to sing. “Happy Solstice, Feyre," Mor spoke first. "Best present ever."
A soft chuckle left Feyre's lips as their hands seemed to find their each other’s without them even realizing it, the soft tug in their chests coming again. “Happy Solstice, Mor.’
someone is translating and posting SJM fics without permission. We gotta work with Wattpat customer support to take down the chapter(s). I'm tagging folks that got impacted. Happy to share the link in Dms, but I don't want to post the link here to encourage randos to go harass the person.
Edit: they likely mean well, but need to be asking you all for permission. It should be your choice how your fic is shared with the world. <3
Idk if you do requests but holy shit you are amazing but like on the off chance you do I’m feral over this idea you would absolutely kill for cassian or Azriel
I’m dying for a smart ass foul mouthed girl in the dirty book club that’s like half his size to get him all worked up teasing him every time he sees her but when he finally gets her alone she literally was all talk and is clueless and timid and he blows her fucking mind
I talk a big game but it’s all a bit and I have zero confidence to back it up 😂
Bonus points and my first born for…
Dumbification
Big ole size kink
& a praise link to feed the ✨ daddy issues ✨
All For Show
Summary - Cassian has gotten tired of you and your pretty little mouth. He just had to wait for the right moment to correct it.
Warnings - smut, praise kink, degradation, slight dumbification, shy reader x bold cassian, fingering, oral (male and female receiving), implied size kink (little reader x big cassian), public-ish sex, unprotected sex, a hint of Voyeurism, best friend ex dynamic, loose editing, I'm probably missing some to be honest.. oh, gwyriel mentioned. I apologize if it isn't your preferred ship, but it felt right for this fic.
A/N - I've shamefully written this three times because I wanted bonus points while also giving it plot 😅
🗡Cassian Masterlist🗡Master Masterlist🗡
Your mouth was going to get you in trouble one of these days, but you couldn't bring yourself to care as you laughed with the Valkyries.
The 4 of you were deep into your book club meeting, discussing the recent salacious read that had Gwyn’s cheeks matching that shade of red hair you'd grown to love so much. Emerie high fived you, fingers linking together as the newly added Pegasus charms on your woven friendship bracelets made a soft clink.
You were bold, especially with these 3, and your interest in the sex scene you all had just read was immediately noticed. “I mean,” Nesta genuinely laughed, “Who wouldn't want to have sex with their mate in front of their equally attractive friends?”
Gwyn shrieked, “Nesta!”
A deep throat cleared at that, reminding the four of you that you were in an open room of the House of Wind. That Cassian and Azriel were sitting right next to you. Gwyn shrunk further into her chair, Azriel smirking and chuckling at his.. whatever they had decided they were today, meanwhile Cassian had his eyes locked on you, a brow raised as you began to play with that bracelet. Deep pink, deep orange, and a purple-y navy stared back at you, the blend reminding you of a sunset. “Something to say, General,” Nesta looked her former lover up and down. “Y/n isn't interested.”
Oh, but you were, and he wasn't blind to that. “Just think this is interesting, that's all,” he grumbled. “Especially considering, y/n gets flustered when someone so much as touches her hips to adjust her stance.” Your glare shot his way as your friends began to laugh. Azriel hid a chuckle behind his hand. The tension between you and Cassian had been growing, especially due to the private hand to hand lessons he was giving you.
“You grabbed me by my inner thigh,” you retorted, eyes rolling.
“And you turned the same shade of red aa the threads on that bracelet Ness wears,” he stated. “You talk a big game, sweetheart. Someone is going to call you on your shit one day.” If you were a smarter female, you would have realized that was a warning.
Cassian was showing no mercy the next night as he threw you to your hands and knees for the fourth time in your 2 hour session. “What the hell, Cass?!” You were panting as you sat back in your heels. “Did you not get the memo that I am just a girl?”
His eyes rolled, “Stand up.” The part of you that had never responded to demands well sent him a look, head tilted back to study his imposing frame. The look you gave him was enough to break his calm. He was a General, a commander, practiced and poised, but you were ruining him. The tension between the two of you was ruining him. He had denied himself so much in this life, lost so much more. Why deny both of you what he knew you both wanted?
“You know what,” he muttered more to himself than you. “I can't do this anymore.” A hand found its way into your hair, strands wrapping around strong fingers as he pulled you to one of the benches, forcing you between his legs as he sat. “Show me,” he demanded.
“What-”
“Show me what you brag to your little friends about. Show you these skills you think you have.”
Your flush began immediately, “Cassian-”
"I knew it," he interrupted you, “Admit you're inexperienced.”
“I'm not inexperienced! I'm just shy!”
He studied you, hazel eyes taking in every inch of your skin as if you were some display. Even with your clothing on, you had never felt more exposed under his gaze. “Shy but can run your mouth to Ness? To Gwynie? To Em? Are you shy or do my hands make you shy?”
That furthered the flush as said large hand pulled your hair, angling your head back to look at him. “Cass-”
“I'm so tired of hearing you speak.” His lips crashed on yours then, forcing you into his lap, legs straddling one of his much larger thighs. Even like this, Cassian towered over you, consumed your frame. You had never considered yourself the smallest female, but with Cassian? Every female could feel small with Cassian.
His free hand slid down, tracing the curve of your breast, your waist, your hips before grabbing and squeezing your left thigh, forcing it over his other leg so you were fully straddling him and open to him.
He pulled back, lips still close as you tried to catch your breath, “Good,” he almost seemed to vibrate with his lust. “That's my Good Girl.”
There was no patience as he pulled your training top off, no ceremony as he took your bra off after it. Cassian was a male in need, something you felt every time he moved and his hips ground his covered length against you.
A silent prayer was sent to the Gods, thanking them for Nesta being in Autumn with Eris for the next week. While it didn't promise no one would walk into the training ring on you two, it did promise at least Nesta wouldn't. His mouth moved down your neck, kissing and nipping until he found the spot that had you melting to his form. “That's it,” his voice had grown deep as he licked at your skin. “Relax, sweetheart. Let me have you.”
Maybe it was because your brain stopped functioning. Maybe it was because something in you just seemed to float in his presence, but you didn't remember getting laid back on the mat, nor your leather pants slowly removed inch by inch as he whispered praise. You didn't remember his own clothing meeting the pile of yours somewhere off to your side. But you remembered his kiss bringing you back to him, “So we go dumb?” He forced you to nod. “I bet you just love being cock drunk, don't you, princess,” the nod wasn't forced this time, his smirk growing as he looked to the sky as if to say his own thank you.
His hands and lips explored every inch, the soft gasps and noises you made his consent, the way you squeezed his fingers encouragement. His tongue swirled your nipple, wetting the tender nerves before latching onto it, rolling and sucking. You couldn't help but arch your back, whispering his title, his name.
“You sound like I imagined you would,” he murmured as he kissed his way to your other breast, offering the same treatment as his words shot to your core. He had imagined you. Imagined how you would sound below him, maybe on top of him.
His kisses began to trail lower, paying extra attention to the sensitive spots he found. He stopped at the hem of your panties, eyes glancing to meet yours, “This is your chance to tell me to stop. If I keep going, that's it. It's you being manhandled by me until I'm done with you, understand?”
The whimper that left your throat at that was almost sinful, “Cassian, please.”
“Use your words,” he demanded. “Use that your mouth to tell me what you want done. You like to run it when you think I'm not listening. Talking about how you want to ride cock and be tied up and used like you aren't telling everyone my dreams.”
Another whine as he licked your core, protected from that skilled tongue by thin lace. “Words,” he demanded again.
“Please taste me.” The tear of fabric followed that plea, all caution thrown to the wind as he dived in.
Cassian wanted to taste every inch of your core. His tongue running over the left side, the right, your clit, your wet entrance. Emerie had told you once enthusiastic partners made sex better and you knew why now. Cassian not only knew what he was doing, but it was clearly his pleasure to be doing it. Each plunge of his tongue inside of you was met with him moaning or groaning, lips vibrating the sensitive parts of your body and building the feeling desperation that slowly wanted to kick in. You sat up on your elbows, watching him as he glanced up, hazel eyes dark and watching your face. Each reaction was a reward to him, your heart seeming to tug at the pride gleaming in his eyes at each little noise that escaped you.
No novel compared to this.
No words could describe it.
Your stomach was growing tight, head falling back as he feasted as if you were the most delicious meal he'd had in over 500 years of life. His lips wrapped around your bundle of nerves, tongue making half circle shapes around your far too aching clit as a thick finger ran your core and gently pushing in.
“Cassian,” your body seemed to shutter in pleasure, tightening around that single digit. “Cauldron fry me,” you moaned as he curled his finger up, immediately locating that special spot inside of you.
This was just his finger. Just his finger had you feeling like you were stretching to a limit as he worked his tongue and hand in time, the band inside of you going taunt. He was careful as he added in a second, watching your face as if he knew. As if he could feel that little panic building in your mind.
He washed it away as he changed how his tongue was moving, now giving teasing motions with just the tip directly where your body was screaming to be touched. He watched your eyes close, watched your guard drop as your hips moved, wanting to ride his face and fingers. He would have normally allowed it, but not this time. Not when he so desperately wanted control and to prove you were all talk. Not when he so desperately wanted you to be his. Your walls began to tighten again, his name becoming something you couldn't even finish as your gasps and panting increased.
Then you tumbled. You fell from the edge, squeezing those two fingers so hard he struggled to work you through your high with them. His free forearm pushed down on your hips, forcing you to stay still and at his mercy. He only slowed down when your trembling did, fingers coming out of you so he could lick them clean, his own hazel eyes fluttering shut. He moved up, kissing you again and forcing you to taste yourself on his tongue.
“Off,” you begged, mind going hazy as you tugged his own leathers. Your request was met, Cassian standing over you as you instantly moved to your knees, watching his hands unlace before pulling down. His cock stood hard for you. It was thick, long, veins in places you knew were going to touch the perfect spots inside of you.
Cassian was larger than any male you'd ever been with, and it had been a while since you had been with anyone. He was a challenge, one you were prepared to meet as you felt your mind fully slip away. “Open,” he whispered. His own stomach flipped with excitement when you obeyed, hand grabbing your high ponytail as he moved his hips and your head forward. This was something you knew, mind immediately working on the sole goal of his pleasure as you began to lick and suck, head bobbing. His hips met your pace, not pushing or forcing. “Just like that, sweetheart. Putting that mouth to good use for once,” he groaned. He tasted of something purely Cassian. Of salt and power. “You look beautiful like this,” his hips increased slightly, encouraging you to do so as well. “Mouth wrapped around my cock, looking up at me with those pretty eyes. Such a good girl.”
He wouldn't give you the satisfaction of making him finish like this. No. He wanted that to happen when he was buried inside of you, you ass bouncing with each thrust he would give you. He watched you closely as you sucked him off, tongue and lips wetting him until he was sure he wouldn't last if you kept going.
Whines of protest left you as he pulled you off, walking you the bench and forcing you to crawl with his grip on your hair. “Hands on the bench.” An order you were not dumb enough to deny, positioning yourself as he asked. He kneeled behind you, kissing your spine as he forced a knee up on the bench as well. It wasn't comfortable, but it would be effective. “Breathe.” Another command from the General of the Night Court as he lined up with you and began pushing in.
“Gods!” Each inch of him seemed to knock the air from your lungs, your breathing ragged. “Cassian, I can't-”
“You can,” he silenced you. “Breathe. Breathe like we taught you.” He timed his entrance with each deep breath, groaning once he was fully inside of you. His hand went to the small of your stomach, dirty thoughts about wanting to be big enough he could feel and see himself inside of you.
The first rock of his hips had you almost shouting your moans. He reached places you'd never known. Places no one had ever touched. You were like a vice around him, the stretch burning and adding to your pleasure as he began to move, stroking that building fire with care. It didn't long for the training area to smell like sex. To be filled with the sounds of his deep groans, you gasps and pleads, the sounds of skin hitting.
His hands reached forward, wanting more control of you as he grabbed your arms, holding and forcing them behind your back and making you arch more for him. Helpless. You were helpless.
And that's when the Cassian Nesta had described to you all began.
His thrusts became fast and hard, hitting your g spot over and over. His hand that wasn't holding your wrists found your throat, resting there and giving one squeeze to test the waters. You couldn't even moan his name anymore as that fire grew, all words were lost to you, all thoughts eddied before falling to silence. Your body wanted to feel. And feel you did.
Every drag was a spark, every word he whispered in your ear a kindling. You would burn. You would burn alive if he didn't stop. That tension built again, faster than it had with any other partner.
Cassian was a God. No one could convince you otherwise as those scarred lips pressed against your temple. “I won't last,” he muttered. “You're too warm. Too tight. You have me, princess. You and this pretty pussy.” He smirked as a wanton moan left your throat, the heat of his body sending you into overdrive.
You wouldn't last either.
Frankly, you didn't want to.
His hand squeezed your throat again, his pace becoming less patterned and wild. He was chasing your high like a predator closing in on its next meal, and when you seemed to freeze, body tensing before a scream tore through you, he served himself.
“That's it, y/n. Doesn't that feel so right, angel? Falling apart with me inside of you,” he grunted as he fought off his own high. “You feel like heaven, y/n. So good, baby. So fucking good.” His voice prolonged your high, forcing you into a state of overstimulation. You collapsed against him, body putty to his will as he chased his own orgasm.
“Fuck,” he yelled before you felt him give one last hard push into you, warmth spreading as his spilled inside. His hands moved, one shooting out to wrap around your hips, forcing you to stay down. The one found the bench, stopping the forward motion from you both falling into it, protecting you even as his mind clouded to the feeling of you squeezing around him.
This didn't just feel like heaven. It was heaven.
He moved your leg down once he was done, his hand now finding your chin to tilt your head and kiss you softly. “You did so well,” he said against your swollen lips. “So responsive for me. Felt so good. Was it good, sweetheart?” You only nodded, biting your lower lip as he showered you with more praises. “Let's get you dressed so I can get you in a bath.”
Your arms held his right one once you two were dressed and walking towards the house. He only paused when the door opened, and Azriel sighed, holding Gwyn against him as she blushed and squirmed, “You couldn't have kept going,” Azriel teased. “Gwyn was enjoying the show.” Your face fell, realizing you had been caught and watched. Teal eyes met yours, her own blush spreading out from where Azriel had a hand on her mouth. “Come on, my light,” Azriel purred to her. “Time to go do dagger training.”
Cassian laughed as he continued pulling you in the house, pulling you to his room, to his tub.
You could face the consequences of Nesta potentially finding out later. All that mattered now was the feel of his hand, slipping down your body and below the water for round two.
Summary: You need a hug and no one better than the The High Lord of the Night Court. Your High Lord.
Content Warning: Misogyny, Beron being a dick, depression, anxiety, negative self talk, choking and not the fun kind. And semi proof read
A/N: Tags will come later today, but this started as a cassian fic, and then it took on a life of its own...so enjoy 😘
Remain calm.
Rhys' voice slid into your thoughts as you and the High Lord of the Night stood in front of Beron, his smile, anything but kind. The High Lord had spent the past hour berating you, calling you vicious names, and worst of all...undermining your authority as Rhys' right-hand woman his second in command.
And your resolve was slipping.
As you took on the role of Second in command as Amren retired to spend her days in the warm comfort of summer, you had been met with scrutiny and push back. You knew your worth, and Rhys trusted your judgment. Your friends were in your corner to support you and the choices you made. But some nights as you lay in your bed, the steady beat of the half illyrian's heart reaching your fae ears beside you was when the voices emerged from the darkness.
Oily, black, and sticky, the voices would bring doubt to your leadership or your best friend's choice to put you in power in the first place. Your confidence began to wane, and the darkness that would lurk in the back of your mind began to consume you, isolate you from ever talking about it.
You were becoming a shell.
Beron's voice brought you back to the Autumn Court's thrown room, but his words enhanced the darkness.
"Are you so incompetent that you can't deign me with a response? To understand a simple inquiry?" Heat rose to your cheeks as your thoughts had drowned his words out. You weren't sure what he asked.
Your eyes flicked to the floor, not wanting to meet his pointed stare with eyes that matched one of your dearest friends once upon a time. A male now stranger to you. He would be so dissapointed to female you had become.
If former heir of Autumn was alive, he would have been.
Focus. He asked you what happened?
His voice made you flinch. A reminder that the mission you and Eris were on failed.
He paid with his life.
You paid with the guilt gnawing at you.
You recounted the details of going to the middle and being ambushed. Steel and carnage swirled in the bog, and a Kelpie approached to drag you to the abyss. To torture you in more vile ways, then the dark corners of your mind wouldn't dare bring to light. You had shut your eyes resigned to your fate, sending a quick prayer to take care of your friends. But his hand did not reach yours. Nor did any attacks come your way. You sat up from the ground and found the earth around you blackened from Eris' flames and the murky water ahead where bubbles rose to the top.
Until they didn't.
Eris Vanserra had died.
And it was your fault.
Cassian and Azriel kept you close, but you had shut yourself off. That didn't stop them from following you in the streets of Velaris from a distance. The weight of your guilt didn't need to fall to them. The darkness relished in your pain. Fueled your doubts in your ability to perform your duties to your court. And yet they still hovered. It felt as suffocating as the darkness rotting your brain and the words of defeat and shame that weighed on your heart as though dark oily tar were there to help into your descent of madness.
Into an abyss.
A hand gripped your neck and you screamed out as the hear from Beron's grasped seared your skin.
"Beron. Enough." Rhys snarled, but High Lord of Autumn tightened his grip, making you whimper. "Beron!" Beron erupted a wall of fire that kept Rhys from reaching to you. To keep you from getting to him.
Your mate.
"You, bitch. A life for a life. It's what's fair." Beron's spittle hit your face. You clawed his arm, desperate for oxygen. The heat on your neck made you want to scream out, but he squeezed so tightly that your ability to speak was taken. Suffering in silence.
It's what you deserve
The voice slipped into your subconscious as your vision began to darken around the edges.
Failure.
Pathetic.
Worthless.
"Let. Her. Go." A female voice boomed through the cavernous room. Beron released you with enough force that you fell to the ground. Gasping for the air, your lungs so desperately as Rhys knelt beside you rubbing your back in soothing circles.
You glanced over to where the voice came from and your heart shattered. Lady of Autumn head to toe in black her vibrant red hair, the one she shared with Eris the only color on her.
A mother in mourning.
A depiction of your shortcomings. She only glanced at Rhys as she spoke again, "Leave us. Please." Her voice was a whisper at the final word, but Rhys was quick to wrap his arms around you and winnow you back to the Town House.
"That went..." Rhys trailed off, not knowing what word to use. You finally were able to breathe normally as your High Lord looked at your neck, his eyes wide. His fingers reached out, but you flinched, and he gently placed his arm to his side. "Madja needs to look after you. The burns look...deep."
You walked to a mirror to see blisters in the form of a handprint around your neck.
It's what you deserve.
The oily voice slithered in your mind. The darkness was close to consuming you. Instead of the sheer panic, you once felt there was something much worse lingering.
Numbness.
Before you were consumed, Talons took hold, causing you to gasp. You didn't mean to leave your shields down. Your eyes widened as Rhys gazed behind you, his own eyes filled with a mixture of things. You realized he didn't sneak in. Your thoughts had projected out. To him. As if your subconscious knew you needed him.
"How long have you been feeling this way?"
"Does it matter?" You were about to leave when he gripped your wrist.
"It does to me." Rhys gripped your hand in his, and he pressed his lips to your knuckles, "Thought for a thought?" You nodded, remaining silent, your lips forming a tight line, not wanting to go first. Rhys gave a faint smile, "I've missed you."
You rolled your eyes. "I barely leave, Rhys. Unless I have to, I'm always here in Velaris."
Rhys' violet eyes sharpened as he slid his free hand in his pocket. "You think I can't tell when my wife has withdrawn from me?" Your breath quickened as he dropped your hand, and you took a step back. You didn't realize you had withdrawn yourself so fully. You thought you had put on a good show. Rhysand took a step forward, "Did you not think I would notice when my sweet, beautiful mate locked her mind so tightly from me? Or how she didn't eat or sleep?"
"Why didn't you do anything?" You whispered ans you watched the stars bank from his eyes.
"Who do you think made sure there was food on the nightstand? To make sure Cassian ran, you ragged that you would fall asleep." Your mind raced as you're back pressed to the wall. "I did what I could, My Darling Girl." He pressed his forehead to yours, "Why did you shut me out?"
Your eyes lined with silver, "It wasn't your burden to bare." Rhysand blinked at your answer. "My shortcomings are my own-
"No."
"No?" Your voice was laced with...irritation.
Rhys smirked, "You don't get to make the choice for me about what I want to deal with. That isn't how this works." His finger curled under my chin. "Your burdens are mine. The only darkness that should be consuming you is mine." His eyes held an intensity to them that caused a shiver to ripple down your spine. "You are mine. I will fight all of your demons." He pressed his forehead to yours, "You have to let me in, Darling."
Warmth slid down your cheeks as tears erupted, "I don't know how."
Rhys kissed your head the warmth of his lips on your skin, causing a warmth to bloom in your chest, chipping away some of the darkness there. "How about we start small?" He pulled away to see your face and the small nod you gave him, "What do you need right now?"
You gnawed at your bottom lip, "It's dumb"
Rhys quirked a brow, "Anything that brings you peace, darling, is not dumb."
"A hug." You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, "I need a hug."
Arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer to the familiar jasmine and ocean scent that kept you grounded. A hand around your waist and one stroking your hair that instantly brought you comfort. Emotions moved toward the surface, and before you knew it, your dam of computer crumpled, and sobs escaped your throat. With every sob and soothing word from your mate, the darkness was curling back. A light consuming your body shielding you from the darkness.
Starlight.
Rhys had always been the light in your life, fighting the demons that so often plagued you. Over 500 years of friendship and love, this male, this high lord, your high lord was unwavering and would be the beacon of light that brought you back from the dark. Back to him. Back to his arms.
Home.
When he spoke it was in your mind:
Do not feel like you have to shoulder your burdens alone? Me, Cassian, Azriel, Mor. Cauldron, go visit Amren in summer where light will seep into your pores, I don't care who, but if you feel the darkness consuming you, don't shut us out. We love you. I love you. My world means nothing without you in it.
You sobbed harder. I'm sorry, Rhys.
You have nothing to apologize for, Darling.
You pulled away enough to see his face, and he raised his hands to swipe the tears from your eyes. Before tenderly placing his lips on yours. Rhys' light banishing the darkness and lifting the weight that was burdening my heart with the action.
He pulled away, "Are you well enough to go to the Cabin?"
You nodded your head and Rhys his darkness, a comfort to you, consumed you both until you were outside the doors of the cabin. Rhys knocked thrice and waited, pulling you closer to keep you warm.
Cassian opened the door, "Was starting to get worried." He glanced to you, his hazel eyes softening, only flaring slightly at the sight of your neck, "Hey you. You okay?"
You nodded and curled your finger, indicating you wanted him closer. He leaned down to your eye level wings tucked tight as you kissed his cheek, "Thanks for being my shadow."
"He wasn't your only one," a voice hollered behind him."
Cassian smiled and winked at you, "Anytime, sweetheart." He moved from the doorway where you and your mate walked in. To find Azriel and a red-haired male curled on the couch. Azriel's gaze met yours with a smirk, "Did it work?"
Rhys smiled as Azriel stood to hug you, flaring his wings for a moment. "Yes."
You heard the couch move and Az released you. Moving to reveal who he was nuzzling with on the couch and you gasped.
Eris Vanserra. Alive and well. "Good, my plan works best if everyone thinks I'm dead." His russet eyes met yours and he gave you a sad tentative smile, "I'm sorry I-
You didn't let him finished before wrapping your arms around his neck, Tears once more falling down your cheeks, "You're not dead."
He wrapped his arms around you, "Not yet."
"I didn't kill you." You whispered
Eris pushed you away to face you, "Oh, sunshine. If I had perished, it was never your fault." His eyes glanced to Azriel, "I'm just lucky someone was lurking around the middle."
Azriel winked at him, and you noticed pink on Eris' cheeks. But turned back to me, "I'm sorry, I frightened you."
You pulled him into an embrace once more, "Don't do it again, you prick."
"Oh, I don't think Rhysand will let me pull that twice. He was about ready to throttle me when Az brought me in."
You looked to your mate, who was leaning against the wall one leg crossed over the other. Flicking a piece of lint of his jacket he shrugged, "Swamp water on my carpet is a nuisance. Making my wife cry is a terrible offense to the Night Court. As is your father laying a hand on her."
Eris then noticed the hand print on your neck, "He will pay greatly, High Lord." He said through gritted teeth.
"Good, Future High Lord." Your eyes widened as you realized what was going on. Eris smirked, releasing you. You noticed a shadow billowing through his fingers.
"So what's next?" You asked as you walked to your mate.
Cassian chimed in a wild grin on his face, "We go to war."
Eris smiled, "We go to war."
Rhysand curled an arm around your waist and kissed the crown of your head. With the wave of his hand, we all held goblets of wine. "To Eris Vanserra, Soon to be High Lord of the Autumn Court."
We all cheered and drank from our cups. I smiled my friends were here alive and happy.
Hello ACOTAR fanfic writer! This fanbase appreciates your creativity and passion for these characters and ships, and you did such an amazing job with writing this year! The year is coming to an end, and I wanna ask:
What is your new year’s resolution for writing?
What are some of your tips for fanfic writing?
What was your favorite thing you’ve written this year?
Feel free to send this to your favorite fellow writers to spread the love and new year’s cheer🎉🪩
Hi thank you so much for this! Sorry it's coming late! But here are my answers!
My new years resolution for this year is to write more in general. I fell off toward the end of the year, and even if it's just a few words a day, I want to at least be writing something.
My tips for fanfic writing are to write what you want to read! Don't worry if you are making the character ooc if it feels right to you. That is all that matters. Lastly, don't force yourself to write and post. I would rather have 3 fics that are up to my standards than multiple fics that feel rushed and that I dont love or feel proud of!
My favorite fic that I have grown to love is my Helion fic called Fuck Propriety I just love how I wrote Helion and after reading it has made me want to write more!
Hi I hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday season! I just wanted to hop on and let you know my requests are open! You can request anything from ACOTAR or Fourth Wing! I'm pretty open to any character I'm just having a hard time writing and hoping requests from you all will help!
Now I want everyone to know the Dark Side of Prythian is happening! I just don't have the energy to tap into those fics at the moment. But they linger in the back of mind!
As for my series! I am working and plotting them! They are still open and I will get to them. I promise! Also in the last four months I have reached 1500 followers and that is truly insanity! I can't thank you all enough to support me and my stories!
Hi I hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday season! I just wanted to hop on and let you know my requests are open! You can request anything from ACOTAR or Fourth Wing! I'm pretty open to any character I'm just having a hard time writing and hoping requests from you all will help!
Now I want everyone to know the Dark Side of Prythian is happening! I just don't have the energy to tap into those fics at the moment. But they linger in the back of mind!
As for my series! I am working and plotting them! They are still open and I will get to them. I promise! Also in the last four months I have reached 1500 followers and that is truly insanity! I can't thank you all enough to support me and my stories!
Surprise! @shadowsxgwynriel tis I your Secret Santa for the @acotargiftexchange!
Your story awaits for you! As I am a fellow Nessian lover so I was really excited to write this for you! I hope you loved it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
Summary: Nesta's reluctance to partaking in Solstice now makes sense to Cassian, but he is going to do everything to make sure her happiness and connection with her human side remain intact.
Content warning: Tooth aching fluff
Divider's by @tsunami-of-tears
Cassian stepped into the library, the priestesses paying him no attention. Clotho glanced up at him and gave him a warm smile, the quill she possessed already writing.
She’s on the third level, General.
Cassian walked over and gripped the female’s hand giving it a tender squeeze, “Thank you, Clotho, please call me, Cassian.”
The scratching of ink to parchment revealed another note:
No, it discredits the hard work you pulled to earn that title. Happy Solstice, General.
She returned his comforting squeeze as he replied, “Same to you, Clotho.” With that he left to go find the eldest Archeron sister.
Feyre had tasked him with convincing Nesta to come to their annual Solstice celebration since the previous year’s attempt was a disaster. By the end of the evening Cassian was left feeling as though he failed his friend, his High Lady. The guilt eroded his core as he felt he failed one other person.
Nesta Archeron.
The General of the Night Court’s armies wanted her to feel welcomed, to feel as though she wasn’t forgotten. That she was wanted. That he had wanted her to be there. Hells, he wanted her. Descending down to the lower levels of the library residing in the House of Wind, Cassian couldn’t shake the longing for the silver eyed, sharp-tongued female. Not paying attention, his body slammed into a cart causing the metal to rattle and a sharp gasp to come from the person on the other end. “Shit.” He muttered recovering quickly, “I’m so-
“Cassian, what are you doing here?” His hazel eyes met the eyes of Nesta, her gaze for once didn’t hold anger, more confusion with a hint of annoyance. In the time of being with the human turned fae, he had picked up on her expressions, being in such close proximity he learned pretty quickly what her moods truly were.
Cassian cleared his throat as he grabbed a few books that fell off her cart, “Can I not come down and see my favorite, Archeron?”
Nesta snorted, “We both know I am not your favorite.” Her soft tone caused Cassian to grind his teeth together. She turned to shelve a book and instinctively Cassian gripped her wrist. The statement grating against something in his chest, he pulled his lips in a tight line when her eyes met his once more. The silver of her eyes was becoming his favorite color, “Cass.” Her tone was not aggressive but there was a warning in her tone.
“Nes,” He retorted as he slid his hand up to grip her fingers with his own. “I enjoy your company. You know that right?”
“Doesn’t mean I’m your favorite.”
Cassian quirked a brow, a smirk emerging on his tanned face, “That sounds like a challenge, Sweetheart.” Nesta rolled her eyes, and he walked around the cart to close the distance between them. “Let me prove it.”
Nesta tilted her head to the side, contemplating the offer, raising a brow of her own she sighed, “What did you have in mind?”
“Come to Solstice and find out.”
Her face shifted into something cold and in turn he felt the temperature plumet as the soft features grew hard, “No.”
“Feyre wants you-
Nesta scowled, “Do you think I care about what Feyre wants?”
Cassian’s playful expression morphed into a wince at the quick shift in mood. Cassian released a heavy breath, “I know you don’t.” He pressed forward, until Nesta’s back was against the bookshelf, “What about me?”
Nesta opened her mouth only to close it her brows furrowed before she whispered, “What about you?”
“Would you care if I wanted you there?” Cassian looked at the female’s sharp features, beautiful when she was human, he couldn’t help but find her even more radiant now. He hadn’t realized he had cupped her face in his hand until he could feel her lean in slightly before realizing they were in the library and moving her face away from him. He dropped his hand back to his side.
“It would matter to me.” She whispered as she turned to face away from him. “Just not enough to make me change my answer.”
“Why?” He whispered. Nesta tried to move away from him, only to realize he had her caged in, “Nesta. Please.”
Nesta leaned her head back against the books, something he learned before the war was a comfort for her. Her love for reading had been a saving grace for her. She looked up above her and Cassian realized she was trying to blink away tears. “I’m sorry.” He said, taking a step back, “I didn’t mean to upset you. I am not entitled to your reasons.” Another step back, “I just wanted you to know, that you are wanted there. That I want you there.”
He turned and was about to leave when delicate, now calloused hands gripped his. Looking at Nesta, he realized he didn’t have a name for this look he gave him, until he reached her eyes and found the one thing, he had seen on the battlefield in the eyes of the enemies he slaughtered.
Fear.
“You don’t understand.” She whispered, letting go of his hand. He simply took it once more and placed it in the crook of his arm to lead her up to take her home and she gave little protest.
“Then help me understand,” Cassian curved his wing around her to keep away the chill. “Let me in.”
She tucked her lip once more between her teeth and remained silent until they reached the stairs where there were no one to listening before she said, “I can’t.”
“Can’t?” Cassian parroted. Nesta pinched the bridge of her nose with her free hand and the General noticed that her lip was quivering, and he placed his hand over hers on his arm giving it a comforting squeeze. “You can talk to me, Nes.”
“Solstice is a fae holiday.” She murmured.
Cassian nodded, “Yes. To my understanding the humans celebrated Solstice too.”
Nesta lowered her hand from his face, her sharp cheekbones highlighting her freckles in the low fae light. “We- They do.”
Nesta’s phrasing wasn’t lost on the General and in a matter of seconds it dawns on him. “Oh, I see” Cassian’s brows furrowed his mind moving at a rapid speed on all the times Nesta had distanced herself from everyone especially him. The realization that it was around fae centered events and holidays. So Cassian led her to her favorite place in the entire world; the place she felt most at peace in the House of Wind.
The library.
He sat her on the sofa and walked over to the fireplace where he extinguished the flame to her surprise. He turned and winked at her, “Come now, Nes, I’m not just a pretty face. I pay attention.” Cassian watched as he crossed her arms but that did not deter Cassian from taking the seat next to her, his wing curved around the eldest Archeron to keep her from getting cold. She inched closer to him as the library began to cool off the fire being out.
“How did you-
“It doesn’t matter.” Cassian whispered draping his arm around her shoulder. “All I needed to know was that it made you uncomfortable.”
Nesta looked up at Cassian gaze to which he saw nothing but gratitude in her silver eyes. “Thank you.”
“Of course.” The pair fell into a comfortable silence for a moment before curiosity got the best of him. “Tell me.”
He knew that he didn’t need to elaborate that the quick witted, sharp tongued Archeron could infer what information he was seeking. She smoothed the gray skirts of her dress as if her hands needed something to do as a form of distraction. Her eyes fluttered shut as the words poured out of her, “I have been trying to salvage what little humanity I have left. Embracing your culture, your family…” She peaked his way, though he schooled his features to show nothing allowing her to continue, “you, makes me feel as though I’m permanently parting ways with the human woman I once was.” She pressed her palm against her laced clad collar bone and rubbed at her chest, “I’m terrified of this new life, Cassian.”
Cassian placed his palm on top of the hand that was aggressively rubbing her chest, “Hey. Look at me.” Nesta refused, the general was not known to back down from a challenge “Sweetheart, look at me.” His tone held firm and Nesta couldn’t help but glance into his warm Hazel eyes. “You don’t have to go through this alone.”
Nesta scoffed, as she sat up but keeping herself close to the Illyrian male. “I am, Cassian, my sisters are perfectly content to move on from life as a human as if what we went through didn’t matter. That our traditions can be thrown out.”
Cassian pressed the pad of his thumb along her cheek picking up the stray tears she allowed to fall and trickle down her face. “They matter to me.”
Nesta blinked, as he met her gaze once more, “What?”
“Your traditions, your humanity. They matter to me. You matter to me.” He gripped her hand and pressed it to his chest, “Sweetheart, all I ask is you let me in. Tell me about them. Give me a chance to make Solstice special for you.”
To Cassian’s surprise, she did. She told him all about her favorite memories from a child and her favorite traditions. The General smiled as Nesta babbled on making sure he noted anytime her voice squeaked from excitement. This was the most animated he had ever seen the Archeron sister. By the time she finished she yawned, she gave him a rare smile showing her perfect teeth. “Thank you for listening. I’m off to bed.” She leaned up and kissed his cheek, Cassian sucked in his breath as her lips pressed against his skin. “Good night, General.” She rose and exited the library before he could respond.
The Illyrian wasted no time and wandered the house until he reached the dark oak doors of Azriel’s room. Before he could knock on the door opened, his brother’s curls disheveled as though he ran his hands through his hair. “What?” Az grumbled.
“I need your help.” Az rolled his eyes that matched the color of the General’s as he continued, “For Nesta.” Cassian knew his brother had a soft spot for Nesta and wasn’t above using it to his advantage.
Azriel opened the door to let him in, “Where do we begin?”
Nesta awoke to a delightful smell wafting into her room. She slowly slipped out of her bed to get dressed, she opted for a pair of trousers and a red tunic that kept her chest covered, still not used to the culture of dress in the Night Court. Making her way to the source of the smell led her to the kitchen where she had expected to find Elain baking but instead found Cassian wings tucked tightly to his back, a black apron around his waist. Nesta watched for a moment admiring the flour across the Illyrian’s tanned nose and the focus he had on mixing whatever was in the bowl. Once he was satisfied, he poured the batter into a sheet with ease and placed it into the oven.
He turned to his piercing hazel eyes to her and Nesta straightened. A grin emerged on Cassian’s face and Nesta wasn’t sure if she was able to keep herself upright at the sight, “Good Morning, Happy Solstice, Sweetheart.”
Nesta gave him a small smile as she stepped deeper into the kitchen, “Happy Solstice. Are you bringing this to Rhysand’s big party?” Her tone held no ire despite her deep dislike of her brother-in-law.
“We’re not going.” Cassian’s words caused Nesta to whip her head toward to his once more.
“You mean I’m not going.” Nesta gripped a hand on the counter with the cool bite of the marble grounding her.
Cassian moved his face closer to hers, the scent of Leather and sandalwood infiltrating her nose consuming her. “No, Nes. We’re not going. You and I are going to be here.”
The eldest Archeron pressed a hand to her chest and rubbed as if to quiet the hum that tugged at her chest. “Really?”
“He means it, Nesta. Has a whole day planned out for you.” Azriel chirped in as he walked in pecking her cheek and clamping a hand down on his brother’s shoulder.
Nesta worried her lip before blurting, “What about you?”
Az tilted his head to the side. “I am going to be town. I promised everyone I would be there.” Nesta frowned disappointed that he wouldn’t be here, but Az proceeded to say, “I am planning on coming back though, Cassian asked me to join for Bread of Ginger making?” Azriel looked confused for a moment before waving and winnowing into his shadows.
Nesta’s face lit up and looked back at Cassian a grin pulling at her cheeks, “Gingerbread houses?” The General nodded. “You remembered?”
Cassian chuckled, “Of course I did.” He proceeded to stack the cool cookies that Nesta now understood looked like the foundations of the house with excitement in her chest to see that icing of different colors and sweets of all kinds were placed into bowls. “Cass?”
“Hm?” He didn’t look up as he took the hot pan out of the oven and set it down to cool.
“These are sweets from the human lands?” Cassian nodded his confirmation, “Where did you get these?”
“You can thank Lucien for tonight’s meal and the ingredients needed for our activities.” He winked in her direction, “He sends his regards by the way.”
Nesta snorted, “Only to get my blessing for Elain.”
Cassian sighed, “Not everyone has an angle, Sweetheart.” He grazes his hand by her arm, “Some people fae or otherwise are just kind.”
Nesta crossed her arms, “Not that I’ve experienced,” Cassian winced and Nesta instantly regretted the words as she said them, “Cass-
He raised his hand, “Don’t apologize Nesta,” He cupped her face his thumb stroking her cheek, “I know you haven’t seen the best of both humans and fae. You are valid in your opinion.” He pressed his lips to her cheek, and she stilled as though a doe in the woods heard a branch snapping. Once he pulled away, as he spun her around and gently pushed her out, “Go get changed into something warmer, I’m taking you to the mountains today.” Nesta turned her head in protest, “Not for training, Wear layers.”
Nesta clung to Cassian as they landed on the top of a hillside where a board, big enough to fit two people, with metal rails on the bottom seat. Nesta gasped, gripping Cassian’s arms, “A Sled.” She whispered, adjusting her red hat with a little fuzzy ball on the top to cover her ears.
“You deserve to have some fun, Nes.” Cassian whispered in her ear, his wing blocking out the winter wind. Cassian adjusted his own silver hat with matching ball to keep his ears from the frigid mountain air. He watched as Nesta admired the sled and placed herself at the front of the sled adjusting. Her Illyrian fleece lined leathers hugging her curves, her boots with fur coating the top, and the red that covered her nose and cheeks as the cold air met her cheeks. Cassian smiled.
She was radiant.
Nesta met his stare and quirked a brow, “Don’t tell me you have cold wings now, General.”
Cassian smirked at her, “Nice try, Archeron.”
Nesta adjusted as Cassian placed himself behind her the wood creaking under his weight, he reached around her to grip the rope at the front of the sled. She gripped his thighs as they caged around her, “Ready, Nes.” His voice caused a shiver to run down her spine.
“Yes.” She whispered and she tucked herself closer to Cassian as the Illyrian used his force to slip the sled down the hill. As they descended the hill Nesta closed her eyes enjoying the bite of the mountain air on her skin. The rush of the sled dropping at a rapid speed exhilarated the eldest Archeron. She Opened her eyes as they were coming up a ramp, “Cassian?”
“I got you.” Cassian said taking on the hand of the rope to slide around her waist as they went up the snowbank and went air born. Nesta looked on to see the snow-capped trees and creatures in the forest running enjoying the winter. A call from a bird caused her to look up to the heavens, a snow-white hawk with markings on the side of it ascended into the sky, its cry felt like one of joy and not sadness. Below she saw a stag and a streak of blonde hair as the bird descended to her the other creature. In a blink they were gone but Nesta took it as a sign. As the sled began to let gravity take hold Nesta released her grip on his thighs and threw her arms in the air. A squeal of delight erupted from her mouth, and she couldn’t bring herself to care.
Arms wrap around her waist as Cassian pulls them off the sled before it crashes into the soft snow and by not using his wings, he flings them into a snowbank. Nesta couldn’t contain her laughter as she laid her back on the snow Cassian joining her. Nesta sat with the feeling of joy for a moment before she began to spread her legs and arms and moved them in an upward motion and back down.
“What are you doing?” Cassian asked.
“Making a snow angel.” Nesta replied with a grin on her face before she rose to look at her masterpiece, “Look.”
Cassian rose and looked down, to see the figure that resembled wings. “Its beautiful, Nes.”
Nesta looked back at the sled and looked over to Cassian, lacing her fingers through his, “What do you say, Cassian? Go again?”
Cassian smiled as Nesta and Azriel sat at the table working together on the gingerbread house. Azriel strategically picking out pieces that would make the structure stable for movement should there need be as Nesta held the bag of icing to keep the pieces together. After a full day of sledding the duo spent some time in the library sipping on Hot cocoa and reading in the parlor until the house had dinner ready.
The two then shared a meal of fun stories and laughter until Azriel appeared. Here they were the Archeron sister and Cassian’s best friend were working together to make…Cassian furrowed his brows, “Are you two making the House?”
Nesta and Az smiled at each other, “Yes.” Nesta said curtly before going back to what they were doing. During their time training her friendship with Azriel was something that surprised Cassian. The two just worked well, Azriel’s complex relationship and issues met Nesta’s and together they found solace in each other’s darkness. They both need the other’s friendship and for that alone Cassian thanked the mother for giving them the connection they both desperately yearned for. Nesta looked up once more and smiled at Cassian, she was giving those freely to him and Cassian was greedy for more. “Want to help?”
Cassian shook his head, “you two go ahead, I’ll go grab the presents.”
Nesta paused her teeth tucking her lower lip, “I didn’t get you anything.”
Azriel waved her off, “We wanted to do something nice for you, Nes. We don’t need anything. Your company is the best gift.”
Nesta nodded and went back to icing their sculpture of the House of Wind, while Cassian went to provide the Solstice gifts.
When he returned Nesta and Azriel had put the finishing touches of the house, Nesta held her hands out to show off to Cassian, “Tah dah.” She sang.
Cassian was blown away by the craftmanship the duo pulled to make the gingerbread he made earlier that morning into their home. They even included a balcony that had…two people one with seven red candies and one with a grey frosting dress. Then on the other balcony was one that had seven blue candies where Az siphons would go. “We’re in there.” Cassian said, swallowing the lump in his throat.
“Had to have my favorite people in it.” Nesta murmured enough for Cassian and Azriel to pause. Nesta looked at both and rolled her eyes, “Don’t make this into a bigger deal.”
Cassian smiled as he placed the presents down, “I wouldn’t dream of it, Sweetheart.”
He handed a blue wrapped box to Nesta, “This is from, Az.”
Nesta grabbed it from him and gently took the paper off the box. Nesta lifted the mechanism and Azriel stepped up, “It’s a reading light.” He tapped the mechanism and a small fae light illuminated her face. “So, when you stay up too late reading…again.” Nesta laughed and tapped to turn the light on and off.
“Thank you.” Nesta reached up and kissed his cheek. “For everything.”
Azriel gripped her hand and gave it a squeeze. “Of course, Nes.” He released her hand and stretched his wings, “I’m off to bed, you two have a good night.”
Cassian waved to his friend as he left. Leaving him with Nesta. “So, I got you three gifts. One was from last year I was never able to give you.” He handed her the tiny box in green wrapping paper. He watched with bated breath as she opened it to reveal the first book in the history of the fae in her palm. “That was the first book of our kind to be created. Only one of its kind.” Nesta’s mouth dropped.
“I don’t know what to say.” She whispered. Pressing the small book to her chest, Cassian slid a bigger wrapped package to her. She gently placed the book down to open the second present. She tore open the paper and gasped once more, “How did you-
“Elain is a good snoop.” Nesta flipped through the pages of her favorite novel from the human author. A smile on her face as though she couldn’t wait to explore the world of this novel once more. She placed the book down after a few moments and stared at the final gift. Not wrapped simply in a box. “This one I’m pretty proud of.” Cassian opened the box to reveal a Symphonia and when he tapped the top music from her favorite bars began to play. Cassian looked at Nesta as tears streamed down her cheeks. He placed the object down, letting the music play and he held out his hand. “May I have this dance?”
Nesta took his hand, and Cassian led her into a dance. Letting the music take over they spun around the dining hall. Nesta found herself laughing again and Cassian joined her, the two sharing a bout of laughter as the song morphed into a slower melody. Cassian slowed their movements pressing his hand against Nesta’s lower back to bring her closer to him, Pressing the hand with hers to his chest. He pressed his forehead to hers, “Happy Solstice, Nesta.”
Nesta’s eyes fluttered shut, “Happy Solstice, Cassian.” They let the music carry them before she spoke up once more, “Thank you for today. This was the best solstice I’ve had in a long time.”
“You’re very welcome, Nesta.” Cassian swayed and spun her around. “Your humanity?”
Nesta smiled brightly it made his chest tightened, “Intact. Thank you for that too.” She sighed, “Though, I feel bad I didn’t get you a present.”
Cassian smiled and kissed her nose, “You haven’t figured it out yet?” He asked, pulling his face away from hers to meet her eyes. Nesta shook her head, and he smiled, “All I want is you, Nes.”
Nesta smiled, and for once she allowed herself to embrace the pulling in her chest. “I’m Yours,” She reached up to his ear and whispered, “My Mate.”
Cassian blinked as she lowered herself down, “Nes-”
She pressed her lips to his to silence him and Cassian was quick to pull her as close to him as he could. He felt her hand against his cheek as she pulled away from him to look into his Hazel eyes. “Mine?” He asked.
“Yours.” She whispered, Cassian grinned and kissed her once more.
His Lady Death.
His Valkyrie.
His Best Friend.
His Mate.
General Tags: @milswrites @lady-of-tearshed @tsunami-of-tears @readychilledwine @ceoofyearning
This was so fun, I had so much fun being a menace to @secret-third-thing. It was really hard at times because we do interact outside of these Santa and giftee interactions and I had to constantly make sure I remembered what Santa knew vs what daycourtofficial knew (which is very difficult when SOMEONE will ask you the same question as both identities)
STT actually accused me of being her Santa very early in and I’m actually pretty sure she figured it out in 8 hours (sorry I’m such an icon I’m so easily identifiable 😘). I was SCRAMBLING to make her think it wasn’t me - I even adapted small differences in writing, changing how I spoke, and lying my ass off constantly. I really thought I had botched the whole thing three days in, HOWEVER, I kept going because I thought it was fun and ultimately I really didn’t care if she knew it was me.
Want to give a big thanks to the moderators @acotargiftexchange - thank you so much for your hard work matching people and double thanks for matching me with STT. No one could have predicted this but boy do I hope yall enjoyed the show.
Thank you to all who have been following along. I hope you got lots of enjoyment out of this and were wrong about who I was.
Biggest thanks to @secret-third-thing for matching my freak. I did not expect my recipient to force me to take an ABO quiz, but here we are. When I had signed up for Secret Santa, I did so hoping I would get you and by god was it more fun than I had anticipated. You are a freak and I love you dearly for it.
PS you’ll get your fic in a minute, I know you have to scream about this first
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