I'm here to save the day

[sarcasmh3r0]

Me: I'm confident with high self esteem

Me 2 minutes later: I'm like the leftovers of a homemade popcorn

[sarcasmh3r0]

Hardest thing in life is figuring out which eye is the right one when talking to a cross eyed person

[sarcasmh3r0]

Ihob

I - i

H - hop

O - on

B - Beth

[blextrophy]

[sarcasmh3r0]

[sarcasmh3r0]

According to National Geographic, this is what the average American will look like in the year 2050

[sarcasmh3r0]

Ok atheists...

how do parents marry each other if the kids didn't approve? Case closed.

[sarcasmh3r0]

Maybe they're not haters maybe you're just an asshole

[sarcasmh3r0]

Who remembers having those tshirts with tight ass necks when they were kids? the ones when you try taking them off, your head gets stuck and you panic thinking satan is standing behind you

[sarcasmh3r0]

Ok atheists...

How did Obama know which one is the right hole if he was blind? Get rekt.

[sarcasmh3r0]

Me when i see someone typing shit in the comments

[sarcasmh3r0]

If i was a hero i would be Dragon Hero

[sarcasmh3r0]

Wait no

[sarcasmh3r0]

When will we be able to have more than just two hands? I want to have four hands to slap you four times in a row whenever you reply with "the sky" when i ask you "what's up"

[sarcasmh3r0]

Do u know that feeling when ur body is cold but at the same time it’s hot and when u put ur hand on ur belly it’s hot but somehow its cold and when you rub the skin it feels so smooth… This feels amazing when cuddling someone… I’ve never done that before but it sounds good tho

[sarcasmh3r0]

Do u sometimes still thirsty even tho you just drank water but you keep drinking and your tummy becomes like a bubble and when you jump your stomach go blob blob?

[sarcasmh3r0]

Just a reminder...

Dolphins poop.

[sarcasmh3r0]

some.................. BODY ONCE

wtf u think u doing?

[sarcasmh3r0]

This is what i see in the corner of my room when I have sleep paralysis