awkward goth

I support you in your endeavours. Middle school emo trapped in a grad school nerd. Hipster trash. I just really love Radiohead.

[dear-ao3]

[cykelops]

“humans don’t do anything for free” somewhere out there there is a guy who spent days if not weeks of his life cataloguing every stupid thing you can do on stardew valley so that you can minmax the fuck out of growing potatoes on a pixel grid for quite literally no reason but that it might help someone else

[willgrahamscock]

no greater tension than two mutuals who want to talk so badly but are afraid to so they like each other’s post until the end of time

[secondbeatsongs]

[heystephen]

please do this please im so excited

[sarcastic-seagull]

[cordspaghetti]

[toastpotent-deactivated20250619]

cats are the best species of animal because they have their own version of weed

[knock3]

life on the murder scene pt 2 manifesting.

[ahedderick]

Livestock drama

   “Let’s put pool noodles on the goat’s horns!” says a teenager.

“Why would you,   ” I begin, but they have already stampeded out of the house. I shrug.

   It turns out that when someone puts pool noodles on a goat’s horns, the goat doesn’t really care. They’re very light, after all, and she can’t see them. You know who cares? Who cares a LOT?

   the HORSE. Hero took one look at Nutmeg wearing pool noodles and ran away. You know who doesn’t want to be left alone, ever? Nutmeg. Who went trotting after Hero because he was leaving her.

   Hero, seeing that the eldritch abomination was after him, picked up speed. Nutmeg went into a full run. My kids started chasing Nutmeg to get the pool noodles off her, but could not catch her, because she’s surprisingly fast. The dogs were bringing up the rear, just happy to be going for a pleasant run. Hero was in a panic, leading a parade that he did not want.

   This all resolved. One noodle feel off; the kids eventually cornered Nutmeg and removed the other one. Just - a day at a farm, I guess.

10/02/20

[pdlcomics]

i am crab

[idontwannabetherightwayround]

Well now that it’s looking like there’s a new album I need it now.

[maggieblueberry]

man sometimes i forget that some people aren’t even a little bit queer.

[itzpapalotl]

If you ever find yourself thinking ‘Hoo boy, I have a minor question I need to make a phone call for. I’ll call this office right when they open so it’s not busy!’

Reconsider.

[phasered]

i’m not making him better OR worse i’m simply staring at him like this

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]

[bjornwilde]

Better with sound

[petrichara]

Maybe you weren’t a terrible person maybe you were just fifteen

[hymnsofheresy]

i was with my mother’s family and they were talking to me about my religious studies major. my great aunt asked me what the definition of hell was, and i responded “well i suppose it depends on who you ask.” and nearly all the protestants in the group decided that hell was “the absence of god” which i suppose is a fair answer, albeit not a universal one. my cousin’s wife was playing with her 3-year-old daughter and she says “well mommy says that hell is a mcdonald’s playplace” asdfghjhgfd

[hymnsofheresy]

this 3-year-old girl is so fucking hilarious. her mothers have signed her up for a toddler yoga class, and so she has adopted a very unique language. this child also has an imaginary friend named “mom” which is, in her mind, the boss of her two mothers. for example, my cousin’s wife explained to me how her daughter got mad at them one time. the little girl situated herself in the corner of her crib, pretended to type on a cell phone and said  “im writing an email to mom right now and telling her how bad you two are. namaste.”

[hymnsofheresy]

the family’s Big Theory about “Mom” is that both my cousin and her wife are referred to as “Mommy” and “Mama.” The nickname “Mom” is not used in the house because it would just be confusing. However, when interacting with the world, people tell their daughter that they will “tell her mom” if she is doing something wrong. so this child automatically assumes there is this greater “Mom” figure that is responsible for distributing universal justice. 

[alexaloraetheris]

To be fair to the toddler, that’s pretty much how religions get started.

[dantescandlestick]

Our Mom, who art gonna hear about this,