Meem

[realmemehours]

[teenagerposts]

best one yet

[aurevoir-mes-amis-deactivated20]

i hate when people call their grandparents weird names instead of grandma and grandpa like babooshka or salami

[unclefather]

i’m telling grandpa salami that you were talking shit

[intp-tells-it-like-it-is]

[eulaalia-deactivated20170111]

man: has anyone ever told you you’re beautiful? me: oh no sir, today is my first day out of doors and papà forbade mirrors in the house lest we fall victim to vanity

[octahedronhd]

[naamahdarling]

This is Shakespearian.

[chloroscythe]

in my head theres a little mouse wearing a little apron and she makes all my emotions

[bishounen-curious-deactivated20]

she needs to read a fuckin recipe this bitch is just making a MESS

[soothingmask1]

I was out with a bunch of people this weekend and this guy suddenly went “man I miss my wife” and went home. like…I want that

[sixpenceee]

[secreteggplantbaby]

[academicssay]

[professorerudite]

Ugh. Painfully true

[cutegirlonline-deactivated20181]

when your anxiety is constant but you do a really good job of pretending it’s not there

[pavlovpuppy]

space documentary: In about 5 billion years, our sun will enter its red giant phase, destroying Mercury, Venus, and possibly Earth as well.

me, knowing full well that there’s no way I will be alive by then:

[lolsofunny]

you promised these kids krabby the clown

but all i saw was

cheapy the cheapskate

[femalerustcohle]

this dudebro in my english class said that ophelia deserved to die because “she led hamlet on” and my teacher threw her book against the wall

[sparkledeactivated-deactivated2]

your teacher’s aim sucks

[tooquirkytolose]

A lady in 1905 minding her business on the trolley when she suddenly spots a man across the way with leering eyes:

[borderline-sunflower-deactivate]

i was on the train and 3 drunk girls saw me and said i had nice brown eyes so they sang “brown eyed girl” to me

[5348674174-deactivated20150510]

I threw up at a frat party and I was crying in the bathroom and a drunk girl went upstairs to get me a shirt and came back with a sweater and a kitten.

[locke-fuckscottlynch78-lamora]

At the last party I went to three drunk girls fishtail braided my hair by committee

[kaylapocalypse-deactivated20201]

a drunk girl drew an eye on the back of my hand and then patted it with satisfaction and  whispered “count olaf”

[wizzard890]

once at a barbecue a drunk girl gave the surgical scar on my shoulder a butterfly kiss and said “you’re cured”

[erincrocodile-deactivated202006]

A drunk girl at a bar I was at became worried that I wasn’t getting enough nutrition and proceeded to hold peanuts to my lips and just keep saying “peanut peanut” until I would eat it. And after I allowed her to feed me a peanut she pet my hair and said “Thank you”.

[mcdonalds-money]

Drunk girls, saving your life one wtf at a time.

[gh0stvirgo]

Girls are a fucking gift don’t let anyone tell you otherwise

[somerhalders]

[fumblingthroughchaos]

Matilda (1996)

[pirates-puke]

My actual life as a child.

[childhoodposts]

My actual life rn