TOO CURIOUS ——— !

indie, private, highly selective SASHA JAMES of the magnus archives. adored by jan.

[harriyanna-deactivated20221223]

everyone forgot about this wholesome video so i dug through the deep files of the internet cause it needs to be seen again

[bugsongs]

bacon pancakes state of mind saturday

[sashajamcs]

@arcvist

[sashajamcs]

no one:

no one:

sasha, about to test yet another avatar’s patience: it’s important to know your limits so you can assess them regularly.

[phoebejays]

#grounded

[sashajamcs]

@horrorsbled

[sashajamcs]

@ofvast​ :  ‘  the void sings. ’

𝚂𝙷𝙴'𝚂 𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙴 𝙵𝙾𝚁 𝚂𝙾𝙻𝙸𝙳𝙰𝚁𝙸𝚃𝚈 : she’s not about to fool herself into thinking otherwise. it’s the same reason she sat among old tapes and played them out one at a time over and over again, just to hear jon’s voice. heart stuck in her throat as he fumbled and stumbled his way towards Knowing. it’s why she herself reached with clumsy, desperate hands for understanding, for answers, for help ------- but her friends are all dead, or distant, or gone. her family thinks she’s dead, and the more sasha begins to take in the world she’s been thrust into the more she wonders if it’s not for the best after all.

she is Becoming. she has Become. she is of the Eye now --- whatever the hell that means --- surrounded by friends of friends, who she does not know, and who are all very afraid. she’s more alone than she’s ever been in her life. she needs jon. she needs martin. she needs -----

she brings the hot cup of tea to her lips, takes a sip. gives herself time to think. ‘ the eye never sang to me, ’ she says. ‘ i don’t think it cares much for song. too vague. indefinite. many shaped. ’ she shakes her head. ‘ it lures me in with questions. what’s this, what’s that, and i ---- i look for answers. and i keep looking. and i can’t stop looking even if i wanted to. ’ and she doesn’t, does she? not enough to stop, clearly. not enough to let the Stranger take her again, as she Knows it would if she faltered. she feels it’s presence lurking at the heel of her every step. testing the Eye’s protection, her connection to it. biding it’s time.

‘ do you still feel it? ’ she asks. ‘ the spiral? i’m --- sorry, this is a bit of a personal question, i just -- do these things ever stop chasing you? ’ her cheeks grow hot with embarrassment, but she doesn’t look away. apprehensive. expectant. wondering if she pushed too far, as she often did.

[drcomalfy]

                    ❝  they   thought   i’d   die   in   the   attempt,                                               𝒃𝒖𝒕   𝒊’𝒎    𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆   …       ❞

[hauntbled]

       ❝  oh, SASHA——— that’s the kind of bullshit you feed your therapist and your life coach. come on now ! we all know love is HIGHLY overrated ❞

@sashajamcs​

[sashajamcs]

𝚂𝙷𝙴 𝚁𝙾𝙻𝙻𝚂 𝙷𝙴𝚁 𝙴𝚈𝙴𝚂. ‘ and THAT sounds like a load of rubbish, ’ she says, idly turning her office chair in a slow half circle and back again. ‘ love is vital and powerful. we all need it, y’know, hyper-competent ghost hunters or not. ’ toes touch the wooden floor, the chair stills. she leans back and turns to her friend. ‘ what soured your mood so much, anyway? aside from — the obvious. ’

[sashajamcs]

i just started listening to w/tnv and it’s. So Much.

[mtchstck-archive]

“—How did you find me?” Livvy stands on the steps, little hands balled into fists at her side. The woman ( Sara, maybe? ) was at the Institute and before she ran away and she and Livvy talked for maybe two minutes about cats before she gave her disastrous statement. Now she’s here, shaking a little with fear. Fear she’s been found out, fear that she’s in trouble, fear of condemnation. 

The archival assistant has to be standing a good ten feet away, but Livvy wouldn’t be surprised if she feels the heat rolling off her in waves.

Livvy thinks about running inside and locking the door. A darker, more angry part of Livvy’s mind that she tries to ignore suggests that she could burn her, even a little, as a warning. The girl shakes her head like one clears an etch-a-sketch, hoping to clear the visions of burning. Her voice sounds small when she asks, “…Am I in trouble?”

@sashajamcs​ liked for a starter

[sashajamcs]

𝚂𝙷𝙴'𝚂 𝙽𝙾𝚃 𝚂𝚄𝚁𝙴 𝚆𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝚂𝙷𝙴'𝚂 𝙳𝙾𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙷𝙴𝚁𝙴. she hadn’t planned this far ahead -- hadn’t planned at all, actually, simply propelled ahead as she was by an unnameable instinct that is all too familiar still. following a feeling, an intuition, one lead after another until she found herself standing in front of the family’s home with hardly an idea of what to say.

young olivia’s statement isn’t the first one to keep her up at night. it isn’t the first one to startle an instinct within her that she cannot begin to guess the shape of. a horror among horrors, no more haunting and persistent than any other, except --- she is a child. there is a sense of urgency drumming a beat between her ears, to find her, to do something, to help --- but what? what will she do? what can she do, really?

‘ you’re not in trouble, ’ she says. her eyes are soft. her smile is kind. it’s hard to keep her heart from squeezing at the sight of the little girl. ‘ my name is sasha -- i don’t know if you remember me, but we met at the magnus institute before you gave your statement. is it alright if i ask you a few questions? as follow up? ’ she shifts, adjusts her grip on the cat carrier. bowser mews softly from within. ‘ i promise, i won’t take too much of your time. ’

[mtchstck-archive]

some tma verse doodles bc I Do Not Control The Hyperfixation,

ft @bookburnt, @sashajamcs, and @horrorsbled! 💕

[rpmemedumpster]

1-800-how’s my portrayal?

This mun is now accepting feedback! 

Please remember there’s a difference between hate, constructive criticism, and giving praise because you don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings.

[sashajamcs]

sasha came from a secure and loving home life. this enables her to be very very aware of just how Not Okay and Fucked Up many of her friends’ upbringings were. some details slip casually in conversation here and there, and sasha takes them in stride, doesn’t want to make them uncomfortable, but inside she is seething — how dare your parents not love you? how dare they not keep you safe and loved as you should’ve been? how dare they blame you for it and let you believe their lies? 

she’s so ready to be angry on behalf of her friends, always ready to defend and stand by them, and the fact this isn’t something she can help with frustrates her to no end.

[horrorsbled]

FAMILY ( noun ) : people who have found a home in each other / and when you split them up / and scatter them about / you can watch as they boil in death and tragedy — ft. @arcvist , @horrorsbled , @sashajamcs , @bookburnt , @hunten , @hauntbled , @faerbled , &. @mtchstck

PERSONALS DO NOT REBLOG !

[dirbyagnesvarda]

everyone stop saying goodbye as a parting phrase and say take care instead. its more tender

[sashajamcs]

t.ma is just like You Think This is The Worst We Can Do? Have Some More Suffering. and im like fuck you they're happy. and jonny sims is like They Resent And Distrust Each Other. and im like they have movie nights and group cuddles and pizza parties Fuck You. and then he's like They Are All Too Traumatized To Open Up And Trust Each Other And Bond. and im like *clings to found family fics and hcs while the world ends in eldritch horror and unspeakable terror and all consuming hellfire* happy. happy. happy. happy. happy. happy. h-

[sashajamcs]

t.ma is just like You Think This is The Worst We Can Do? Have Some More Suffering. and im like fuck you they're happy. and jonny sims is like They Resent And Distrust Each Other. and im like they have movie nights and group cuddles and pizza parties Fuck You. and then he's like They Are All Too Traumatized To Open Up And Trust Each Other And Bond. and im like *clings to found family fics and hcs while the world ends in eldritch horror and unspeakable terror and all consuming hellfire* happy. happy. happy. happy. happy. happy. h-

[sashajamcs]

𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝚊𝚜𝚔 𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚛𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 but they want me to remember their memories and i keep on remembering mine

indie, private canon-divergent sa.sha ja.mes of t.ma. adored by jan.

[psychexch]

@sashajamcs​​ sent: dear diary.

update on the institute job: it’s not that bad. it works for my brain. my whole deal, actually, is just to modernize and digitize the tapes that they have. and there are a lot of fucking tapes. but this part, my part? that’s not for the sake of the eye. it’s for the sake of the future members of the institute, i guess, or just for posterity. i used to do this kind of work back in college before i got into programming. it’s easy to build a database. the hardest part is cleaning up some of the recordings, because the eye insists on tape recording. it’s archaic, but i guess it’s tradition. i’ve never really understood tradition either. i don’t even really celebrate most holidays.

coworkers are fine, mostly. they’re bearable. most days i just put in earphones and put on a playlist and disappear inside myself. transcription is basically an automatic setting for my brain, and so is fixing audio. i barely have to be there. it’s more unconscious than anything, and sometimes it’s not even me doing it. maybe it says a lot about our progress that i’m willing to let mr. robot or even sam do something like this. mr. robot doesn’t want to, which i get. it’s not really his kind of deal. sam, i think, kind of enjoys some parts of it and hates others.

people-wise, i like sasha a lot. i’m just not good at showing it, but i brought her tea at one point how she likes it. people say attention is the same thing as caring, and i hope it is, because i’m good at paying attention but i’m really fucking bad at anything else. i can be nice but i just don’t like to get close to people. the thing that i like about sasha is that she mostly does her work and if she worries, it’s not something where she worries about me specifically. if she thinks about me that’s fine. i don’t have to know about it. we know i don’t really like people prying, and i don’t think she’s tried to pry yet. 

she draws, too, i think. i’ve seen her scribbling in notebooks, which is something i understand. i’ve gotten better at separating out my art into one notebook and all of this writing into another. it makes it easier when i call with krista, which is fucking expensive now, to find what i’m looking for if i don’t have to go through pages and pages of sketches. i could just ask sam about her drawing or not, if i really wanted to. he’s already hacked all my coworkers. i don’t remember it. i think he did it during the first week at some point. so he already knows, but i’m trying to stop knowing things that way.

at least not as myself. the other alters can know what they know, but i should actually ask her. get to know her. it’s progress that way, right? maybe i’ll try it next week. i don’t remember the last time i was even trying to be friends with a coworker that wasn’t angela.

feels weird. good, maybe. sasha’s good. i know that for sure.