“Okay,” Kara says, answering Lena with a shaky exhale. She nods rapidly as she adjusts her grip on her phone. “Okay, yeah. That’s cool, I know it was last minute to invite you over, um…”
She trails off and looks around her apartment, worrying her lip between her teeth. It’s the same as it ever was, cozy and warm and homey, but right now, for the last few days, the walls have felt like they’re getting closer and closer.
“You don’t have to come here,” Kara pauses again, steeling herself for a moment before she continues. “Do you mind— I’m sorry, I know it’s late, but do you mind if I go to yours for a bit instead then? I just—”
“Kara,” she hears Lena murmur. It’s soft, and it’s gentle, and Kara closes her eyes as the sound wraps snug around her shoulders. “I didn’t mean— I’m not going home to my apartment. I… realized some things, seeing you with your dad, and I have to figure out where I came from, too. I— I’m going to Ireland, for a while. I know you just got back…”
Lena keeps talking, Kara’s sure of it, can hear the low rumble of Lena’s voice in her ear, but the words dissolve and go murky, a low buzzing taking their place and Kara stares at the corner of her coffee table when it starts feeling like the only thing in her apartment that’s not swimming
Lena’s still talking when the buzzing stops ringing in Kara’s ears and her vision unblurs, and Kara leans her head back against the wall to ground herself against her pounding heart.
“It’s not forever,” Lena’s saying, still soft, still gentle. “Just… a little while, Just to see. I have to— I’m gonna go home.”
It’s quiet for a minute. Kara can feel her heart pounding in her chest, can feel the tips of her ears going a bit numb, can hear Lena’s breath through the phone.
She says it softly, barely an exhale of a word. She’s scared to say it any louder, in case Lena might hear it.
“Lena, please,” Kara whimpers. Her eyes burn with tears, and she presses a fist to the bridge of her nose in an attempt to hold them back. “Please stay,” she whispers, losing her battle when a tear drops to her cheek.
Kara cuts her off with a wet hiccup, breath shuddering out of her as she pulls her knees into her chest.
“I know it’s selfish,” she murmurs, “and I know that I don’t have the right to be selfish with you anymore, but I just got you back, and I just— I need you.”
Kara hears a sharp intake of breath through the phone and winces, taking in a breath of her own.
“Kara,” Lena says, and her voice is so soft, so gentle that Kara’s eyes well with tears once more. “I’m not going to Ireland to get away from you. You can come visit me. I hope you do, actually.”
Kara picks her head up, blinking down at her foot as the buzzing in her ears fades into quiet once more. In the distance, she hears a little thunder.
“How long did it take you to fly to Dublin that time?” Lena’s smiling into the phone, Kara can hear it in her voice.
“A few seconds,” Kara answers, breathing easier as the pressure in her chest starts to disappear.
Lena hums happily into the phone then, and Kara grins.
“I hope a few seconds isn’t too much trouble, then.”
“It isn’t,” Kara whispers, smiling. “Not at all.”
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