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Don't you just love family and how when you talk to them and sometimes they don't make you feel worthless and wrong 😄

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I broke my nose twice playing with my dog very roughly

Me: I look badass, like I got into fights and I'm rly cool looking and tough. I could scare people and get that dark and cool Butch lesbian look I've always wanted Mom: we could go to the doctor and have the break it back so you'll look normal Me: ...I'm ugly its not a cool kind of broken its a weird off center I'm ugly Butch isn't even in this year anyways I'm ugly who'd date that I'm ugly thanks mom I'm ugly....

[sassassin-s-blog]

Me, a caring person: I'm so awful everything is my fault I caused the black plague before I existed and my birth started global warming because I brought hell with me

[godhasacne]

[thinkingfellersunionlocal282-de]

hey bro

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What an asshole

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Tfios in reality

Hazel: Ew cigerate Gus: *shit I was trying to be cool in front of the smart artsy chick! Shes against smoking um come up with something stupid* Gus: they don’t hurt if you light them and I have never lit one it’s a metaphor Gus: *yes I waste perfectly good money to buy something thats expensive af that I will never use for a damn metaphor* Hazel: wow so edgy Gus: *I’m a genius*

[kittehkats]

[tanku-deactivated20150907]

cheerful goblin

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Don't let the moreo guy see this

[tychography-deactivated20161203]

Reblog if you’re dead

Wanna see how many people are dead

[sassassin-s-blog]

Me: *is a gamer freak* *is also the biggest Bastille fan* oblivion is calling out my name

[alongfalltothetop-deactivated20]

Oh I’m an asshole.

So today pulling into Stop and Shop, this lady cut me off and nearly drove into me, and then, when I tried to pass her, she swung to the right and nearly hit me again, and then flipped me off.

So somebody is having a bad day and taking it out on me. That’s fine. It’s harmless, and I don’t know what’s going on in this woman’s life. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt she’s not just a piece of shit and is just having a bad day.

But then I park and she follows me, and gets out of the car and starts swearing at me and getting in my face.

Now I go from “indifferent” to “I’m gonna fuck with this woman’s head.” Now I would say I’m a gentleman of size, and in all black and bemohawked I probably look spookier than I actually am, so props to this lady for getting in my face. Now of course I’m not going to hit her, or even threaten violence. That’s shitty. Nobody should get threatened with violence.

Instead, I take a step back, narrowing my eyes like I’m studying her face really closely, and then I touch one of the several piece of “occulty” jewelry I’m wearing (none of which, by the way, are magicked in any way at all). Then I mumble some nonsense under my breath, and then make the fig gesture and the horns at her.

She stops, wide-eyed.

“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST DO TO ME?”

I chuckled, and shake my head. “Nothing at all.” I say in a not-terrible convincing voice. “But every time something bad happens to you today, you’re gonna be thinking of me.”

Then I winked at her, and walked away.

[curiowitch]

[sassassin-s-blog]

Me: *makes one post that made at least 40 notes which is only because a notable person was tagged* I’m famous don’t touch me *other posts barely make 4 notes* don’t touch me I’m the Beyonce of Tumblr don’t touch

[sassassin-s-blog]

Taco bell just kills me

I always order a side of nachos, yah know how they put melted cheese in a cup and put chips in a bag and say "here, nachos" Not fucking nachos but okay, sure Jane, I'm hungry so these are nachos now. And they either go with to much chip or too little so I either randomly order more cheese or more chip. I ALWAYS END UP WITH MORE CHEESE OR MORE CHIP THAN NECESSARY. So I end up with two cups of cheese and Lord just fuck taco bell man.

[fenvincible]

How to talk to short people.

[myboyfriendpetebuttigieg]

I’m not your average skateboarder. I don’t “dress like a stoner.” I don’t “know how to skateboard.” I don’t “disrespect authority.” I’ve never “been on a skateboard.”

[sassassin-s-blog]

37 Questions

I’m writing a book called 37 Questions. It’s about two girls that are totally different but madly in love trying to find places to meet and having photo shoots and art contests but mostly sit around and ask each other things. Because they just love learning about each other. One day a girl finds a book in the library that says ‘how to get someone to fall in love with you in 36 questions’ and brings it to her girlfriend of two months. They slowly start using the questions on each other on dates and just when ever and, yes they work. Suddenly while they are on they’re way to a special date night something tragic happens. If you’d like to read it I’m starting a blog about my progress and to get opinions and to get suggestions about what should happen next. AH I’M SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS AND HOPE Y'ALL LIKE IT BECAUSE I KNOW A FEW PUBLISHERS AND MIGHT TRY TO GET PUBLISHED PROFESSIONALLY AGAIN WHEN I’M FULLY FINISHED

Blog is @37-questions

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i wrote a poem about how poetry makes me feel

words under the cut

Keep reading

[sassassin-s-blog]

🙌🙌🙌 AMAZING !!