Sassy Smart-Arse

25

[vamptits]

they want you to make fried rice

[memser]

who is "they"

[vamptits]

the wok left

[solongandthanksforallthefish42]

how am I supposed to make fried rice if the wok left

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[valtsv]

oh my god i almost forgot to tell you all about how, while my dad was visiting, i had an infestation of every single kind of bug in my house that hasn't been a problem before or since. like i'm not kidding i evicted so many creeping crawlies that week and couldn't for the life of me stop mosquitos from stealing my blood, but as soon as he left they vanished. and i mean, sure, there's a perfectly rational explanation, because two people make more mess than one and he has a habit of leaving the windows wide open enough to fly a jet engine through day and night, but i can't help but think how symbolically on the nose it was. the ancestral rot at the heart of my family so gothic it's got ants and flies buzzing around its decaying corpse.

[valtsv]

hey so update but i haven't been harassed by a single freaky little beast since my dad left even after leaving some crumbs on the floor as an experiment to see if they attracted any ants so i think my dad might just be bugs actually

[kushblazer666]

[deodorantdenier]

people are saying this is a song and i can't imagine what it could possibly sound like. what the hell are you talking about

[the-timewatcher]

like this

[kosmogrl]

not a caller not a texter but a secret third thing

[kosmogrl]

don’t contact me. ever

[livelovelaugh-777]

[fairycosmos]

you literally have to unironically listen to some shit like party rock anthem so you don’t kill yourself

[fairycosmos]

wait zendaya come back what song do you recommend

[tiktaalic]

I was born in the exact right generation I love being an unmarried woman in my twenties with my own bank account and no children

[tiktaalic]

This getting reblogged with “and my thirties” “and my forties” “and my fifties”

[may-or-may-not-be-me]

[GD: someone slam dunk-ing a basketball.]

[tiktaalic]

jordan . It’s Michael jordan

[the-big-mood]

[the-big-mood]

[kabber]

[abortionado]

They’re calling me every slur under the sun over on twitter for this post

[cilceon]

Would you sell liquor to this baby

Yes

No

I don’t think life begins at contraception but I’d still sell liquor to baby

Voting ended onAug 6, 2025

Wait hold on rb canceled that’s the wrong word wait no stop

[animentality]

[arrowandaxe]

[bee-in-your-binnet]

Coyotes trying their damndest to get domesticated

[postarcadian]

the thing I love most about how tumblr users use tags is that it’s like what if a social media website had a footnotes system

[escuerzoresucitado]

[incogniito]

I see that town in my restless dreams..

[wovi]

*

sandra cisneros

[tatzelwurming]

listen i consider myself an empathic person but after a certain point i get sick of other people’s problems. my friend is always talking about how the jewel-eyed skull on their mantlepiece is tormenting them w its sinister beauty and im over it. like dude i don’t want to talk about this anymore. get rid of the fucking skull

[e-102]

you’ are biased against my skull

[tatzelwurming]

i’m not having this argument again man

[mathsuggestions]

Fix your sleep schedule.

[isuggestmadscience]

I have a better suggestion. Stay up for research.