Sasori: Deidara. Come here, into my lab.
Sasori: Brat! Don’t make me count to three!
Deidara: *shuffles reluctantly into Sasori’s room* Whaaat?!
Sasori: Come here, stand in front of me, look me in the eye. Now, tell me the truth: did you bite Itachi’s hand yesterday?
Deidara: B-bite his hand?? Why would I do something that childish, hm?! I’m a grown man! I grew out of biting people when I was four years old!
Deidara: … Okay fine, I did. But I HAD to, Danna!! We were eating pancakes and I only had two, but he had six! And then I wanted a third but that greedy bastard started reaching for the last one, so I bit —
Sasori: That is no excuse for such ridiculous and abhorrent behavior! You doing such a ludicrous thing does not improve your maturity level in the eyes of the rest of the group, nor does it reinforce any ideas I may have about it being a wise decision to continue dating you.
Sasori: Enough. Now I expect you to go to Itachi and give him a sincere apology. Am I understood?
Deidara: *sighs* Yes, Sasori. I understand. I won’t do it again.
Sasori: *also sighs and hugs Deidara* Good boy. I’m glad you can recognize the error of your ways.
Deidara: Eh, it’s not so much that, hm. Biting Itachi was funny, but after when I bit Hidan it left such a horrible taste in my mouth that —
Sasori: *scrambles to his workbench and starts frantically sifting through his potions*
Sasori, talking mostly to himself: I’ll need to administer a rabies shot to start, probably a tetanus shot, likely get started on an antidote for —
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