uh huh honey

Savannah Burton. 27. General handful.

[savannah-burton]

zach-gilroy​:

Zach laughed gently, shaking his head. “And congrats on being a MILF,” he turned the compliment back to her. He still didn’t feel near comfortable calling himself a father, not calling her a mother. To him, they still felt like dumb 18 year old kids. And maybe this whole process had made Savannah grow, he felt it had, but he didn’t feel it had done the same for him. Like on the outside he was doing and saying the right things, but on the inside he was the same. He wanted to run. Even as he looked at Asher, as his heart swelled in a way it hadn’t before, he couldn’t help but feel like he was experiencing this differently than other people. Like there was something missing from him. “I’m not that big of an ass. I– you don’t need to pat my back for the small things. Hold me accountable,” he reiterated. Tough love. It was all he really knew growing up. And maybe he resented it, but it worked. Michaela had given him the opposite and all he’d done is fail her over and over again. He let his hand move up to her hair, fingers snaking through her hair to rub her scalp. It had been a while since they’d laid so close. “Pick what you want, fat ass,” he teased, holding the phone for her to take. He paused a moment, leaning his head in to plant a soft kiss to her hair. “I’ll be here.”

Savannah laughed at their conversation. The way they communicated definitely didn’t make them sounds like parents. For nine months Savannah had thought about this moment, how it would feel to have their baby be a part of the world, no longer existing inside her. It was so terrifying that he was real now, a fragile little thing that needed the two of them to protect him. Asher had no idea all the fuck ups his parents had under their belts, he would probably never care. “You are kind of an ass, but I also know people that could kill you so,” she told him, half joking. She looked over at him, trying to read his face. “Nothing about his has been small Zach,” she said moving in closer to him. “It meant the world to me.” Intimacy had never been a part of their relationship. They had great sex, and he knew her better than anyone, but intimacy was something they saved for other people. It felt nice to be close to someone, to be touched, to pretend like they were a happy couple that started a family. “God that’s rude. I just pushed your baby out of my vagina and you’re gonna call me a fat ass? I should get one of these nurses to slip you something.”

[savannah-burton]

Text || Savannah + Open

Savannah: So, turns out motherhood is just as crazy as they tell you. It’s been a few weeks and I’m not sure I’ll ever feel like a sane person again. 

[savannah-burton]

zach-gilroy​:

“He could look like an alien to other people, maybe we are biased,” Zach gave Asher another look, chuckling gently. “I think I can find the vagina, the rest of it feels too hard,” he teased, just nodding at her request. He hadn’t really expected it. Things between them weren’t bad, but he hardly felt like some emotional support for her. Not that something as simple as sitting with her made him that either. He squeezed into the space next to her, tugging out his phone to hold over them, bringing up Door Dash to see if he could handle one of her wants anyways. “Sav,” her words pulled him from his phone, free arm snaking around her. “He’s my son too. You never have to thank me for showing up for either of you,” he shook his head, sincerity behind his words.

“Even if he looks like an alien, he’s a cute alien.” Savannah laughed at his comment. “I don’t even want to know what you mean by that. I’ve definitely seen at least one nurse check you out. Hey, congrats on being a DILF,” she joked. Throughout the years, she hadn’t ever really figured out exactly what to call her relationship with Zach. She had been isolating herself since coming back to Rockford. Her contact with her friends and family was limited. He was probably the closest person to her, basically her best friend. “You didn’t have to show up for me though, for us. Plenty of men wouldn’t have. I know there were times you didn’t want to either.” She leaned her body into his. It felt nice to be close to him, comfortable and familiar when nothing else was. “I just hope you keep showing up for us,” she admitted. “And you can start with getting me some food, before I pass out.”

[savannah-burton]

zach-gilroy​:

Zach was in somewhat of a daze still. He’d been wondering what these moments would feel like to him for so long. Panicked about it really. Wondering if he’d be the dead inside type to not have any feelings about holding his child for the first time. He wasn’t. It was emotional, it was something… something not bad, but he wasn’t sure that he could pin the emotion as happiness either. The worries didn’t fade for a moment and they hadn’t now as he watched their son sleep. He was almost caught off guard by Savannah’s words, but they kind of woke him up. “Nah, the kid’s bound to be cute as hell, look at us,” he gave her a little smile, running his hand through his hair. “Do you need anything while he’s down?”

Savannah smiled at him. “You’re so right, there’s no way he won’t be cute. I thought he might look like a total alien when he came out,” she admitted while looking at their baby. She couldn’t seem to take her eyes off the little parasite, he was so magical to her. Zach’s question caught her off guard. No immediate response came to mind. “I don’t know, a new vagina? A cheeseburger? A glass of wine?” Savannah was so mentally and physically exhausted, but the idea of sleeping seemed terrifying. The thought that something could happen to her baby without her was unimaginable. Her gaze shifted away from the baby back onto Zach. “Come sit with me,” she said moving to make as much room for him as possible on her hospital bed. She couldn’t figure out exactly why but she wanted Zach close. She hasn’t wanted to admit how intimate sharing a baby felt, but it felt so real now that the little person they had created was sleeping beside them. “Thank you for being here.”

[savannah-burton]

@zach-gilroy

The hospital room felt so quiet. The monitors still beeped and the hustle and bustle of the hotel was behind closed doors. It was the first time Savannah and Zach had been alone together. They were officially parents to a living breathing baby. Savannah had never been more exhausted in her life, but didn’t feel like she could sleep a wink. From her hospital bed, she could their baby sleeping soundly. Their baby, it still felt so strange that it was real. Until now, it was almost like he had only existed in their minds. She looked over at Zach and saw him staring at the sleeping baby just like her. “Hey, she said softly. Savannah paused for a moment, not sure what to say. There didn’t really seem to be words at this point. “So do you think he’s really cute or am I officially a biased parent?”

[savannah-burton]

jack-mcbride​:

The weight that Jack felt wasn’t metaphorical, it was physical. All the time it was, but in the moment it felt too much. It felt like gravity was too much for his body. “I don’t want to be anyone’s problem,” the words came out just sad. Not argumentative, but defeated. He didn’t. He’d spent most of his life just trying not to be anyone else’s problem. Trying to present as fine. Steady, strong, nothing to worry about. It was why he kept his life moving forward. Taking on the next task, to stop his parents from worrying about him. He swallowed harshly and nodded in agreement, knowing there was really no other option. “You really don’t need to stay though.”

Savannah was being to get frustrated with Jack. She didn’t know how to get him to understand that she wanted to help him. “People have problems, Jack, and they get through with the help of others. You’re allowed to let me help you. Stop being such a sad sack,” she told him. “i’m never going out drinking with you if it’s this pathetic.” Her words were crossing over to the harsh side, but she thought maybe a dose of reality would help snap he out of it. “You know normally guys would be thrilled to have a pretty girl pick them up from a bar and offer to take them home. I know I’m not the hottest, but damn, it’s like you’re trying to get rid of me,” she joked as she opened up the passenger door. 

[savannah-burton]

brielle-thorne​:

@savannah-burton​

“Look, I know you can’t go out and party right now but trust me, this is the next best thing. You can thank me later when you’re getting your back rub.” She pulled up to the spa.

“Okay, this is incredible. Thank you so much,” she thanked Brielle. “I’m apologizing in advance for the noise I’m going to make when they massage my feet.”

[savannah-burton]

zach-gilroy​:

He didn’t mean to yell like that, he didn’t mean to be an ass, but the frustration had bubbled up, and he felt like he was doing the mature thing in walking away, the thing a younger version of him would have never done and then just being shit on for it. “I didn’t freak out, that’s the fucking point, I walked away and you’re criticizing me for that. What do you want me to do there, Sav? I don’t need you to fucking defend me I just need you to not be a dick to me when I decide to walk away instead of making it a thing.”

Savannah wanted to point out that he did freak out, just at her instead of the guy he was walking away from. It didn’t seem like a good idea to piss Zach off anymore, though. “Okay I’m going to apologize one more time. I’m sorry, and I think it’s really mature that you walked away. I’m not criticizing you, I’m just being a pain in the ass,” she told him. She really did mean it, Zach not starting fights when his character was in question, was definitely an improvement from past behavior. “In my defense, I’m not used to this evolving version of you.  Sometimes it’s hard not to think of you like how you were in college.”

[savannah-burton]

sammy-contreras​:

“I would like to make it clear that, that is not why I was saying don’t post the picture. I am not pregnant shaming you.”

“Okay so why shouldn’t I post it? I know some maternity picture are cringe, but I didn’t think this was that bad.”

[savannah-burton]

zach-gilroy​:

“Stop being fucking annoying then,” he sighed and shook his head. “I just fucking said I don’t care who wins. But go ahead and keep driving that home, Sav. Tell me how you wanted me to handle that situation? Tell me you know fucking anything about being publicly criticized for your personal fucking issues by people who know nothing about you except how you do at your fucking job. Tell me that,” he laid it all out because he was tired. Tired of people not seeing him, not getting what he was going through, not seeing the weight he felt like he was carrying.

Savannah’s brows shot up at his continued outburst. “Sweet christ, I’m sorry I should’ve kept my mouth shut,” she admitted apologetically. It was obviously a mistake to make dumb comments when Zach was this upset. She was trying to be sympathetic with him, she’d already done enough to piss him off today. “You’re right, and you know how much it pains me to say that,” she said trying to get him to smile. “I know nothing about being publicly criticized. I like to think I could’ve sat through it, but maybe I would’ve freaked out too. I’m sorry some dumb ass ruined your mood. I’m sorry I didn’t help. You know I’d go kick his ass, but I can’t see my own feet.” 

[savannah-burton]

Text || Savannah & Jack

Jack: I think a lot of people feel that way when it happens though, but the truth is, there's rarely a perfect time for any of these big life things, right? You just make it work. Feel like once you hold him it'll be a whole other level. Well I didn't think that, but! Well that's good then. It's probably better that it's not some weird gray area romance, right? Yeah, it's the point of no return that's a bit scary. You're not pulling me into anything though. You don't need to worry about me, okay? I'm here for you, whatever that means and I'm not expecting anything from you. I know you're not in a place to have anyone expecting things from you when you don't know what tomorrow holds in some sense. Not going to ask you to do that either. Not really my style, and definitely not with pregnant women.

Savannah: No you're right, there's no just thing as the perfect time. I just thought I'd be married and settled down. Idk why though, it's not like I'm normally traditional. I'm so excited to hold him you have no idea. I'm excited to not be pregnant anymore either. I think he and I have only ever existed in the gray area but it works for us. Of course I worry about you, everyone worries about the people they care about. If you're ever standing at that point of no return you better remember you're not alone in this shit. I'm starting this whole new fucking crazy chapter in my life and I don't know what tomorrow really looks like but I want you in it somehow.

[savannah-burton]

river-dawson​:

“Disagree. I think you could be plenty of fun if you let yourself.”

“Okay, what do you have in mind? Cause all the fun I like to have is pretty much off limits.”

[savannah-burton]

mich-hayes​:

“Don’t women usually want to eat more at this point?” She asked with a laugh. “Have you had any weird cravings?”

“If they are I’m not sure how they have room. I swear the baby is taking up all the space,” she explained. “I ate a lot of ice cream and cereal early on. I don’t think we can call that weird though.”

[savannah-burton]

jack-mcbride​:

When she grabbed his arm, his shoulder just slunk all the more, and he felt bad. Horrible really for putting her through this. He wanted to just sober up. Just be okay so he could handle this, but he was far past that point. “I’m not being stupid, I’ll be fine,” he mumbled out through slurred words. He believed them too, he’d been in far worse shape than this and managed to be up for work the next day. When she pulled his hands, he didn’t fight it, but he just shut them and slunk his head down. “I shouldn’t– you shouldn’t have to come get me. You’re fucking pregnant, I’m not– I shouldn’t be your problem.”

“Jack, babe, come on. Stop this,” she said nearly pleading with him. Savannah pulled him into her. She needed to get him into the car and away from the bar. Her arms wrapped around his middle, holding him close as he slumped against her. “You can be my problem tonight, I don’t care,” she said softly, running her fingers through his hair. It shouldn’t surprise her that he was being so stubborn. He needed to be in bed, not apologizing to her in the middle of the street. “I’m not leaving you alone tonight. Let me take you home okay? It’s okay, it’s okay,” she told him. Savannah wanted him to stop being so hard on himself. It was something they had in common, she realized. Tonight, she just wanted Jack to let go and not care if he needed her. 

[savannah-burton]

zach-gilroy​:

“I don’t fucking care if he wins!” Zach snapped once they were out, his frustration mounting. “Jesus fucking Christ, what do you want from me, Sav? To sit there and deal with him chirping me for hours? You want me to fight him? What do you want me to fucking do here?” His anger was misplaced, but unmistakable.

Savannah inhaled sharply at his outburst. “Oh my god Zach, chill out,” she told him. “It’s tacky to fight someone during lunch, and obviously I don’t want you listening to him talk shit. Getting this pissed off does kind of seem like him winning too, but let’s forget it.” She sighed and tried to calm him, grabbing onto his arm. “What do you want me to do here?” 

[savannah-burton]

Text || Savannah & Jack

Jack: Oh come on, what's not natural about it? I think you will, honestly the fear you feel is coming from the right place, it's loving your kid already and wanting what's best for him. Maybe once the kid arrives you'll be clamoring or another. So your relationship with your father sort of non-existent then? But in a greater sense, I'll always be alright, even if I veer for a minute, I'll get back on track. You don't need to be subtle around me. You don't need to make yourself different around me either. If you like who you are with me, that's great, but please never change who you are for me.

Savannah: I don't know, this just doesn't seem like right time for me to have a baby, but it's a bit late for that now. I've spent nine months with him already so yeah I guess I love him, and I want the best for everyone I love. Oh god I'm not gonna be popping out irish twins Jack! It's a friendship I guess, our relationship has taken a lot of iterations over the years. That's normal. It's been you veer so far off track you don't even know how to find your way back. The point of no return if you will. It has nothing to do with you. Being pregnant has changed me. It's made things more complicated, and I don't want to pull you into my complicated life. I wish I could just throw caution to the wind but I have more than myself to think sbout.

[savannah-burton]

brielle-thorne​:

“Mmm, you might just be the first person whose actually glad to see me back. I’m still pissed I didn’t get my welcome party.” The brunette joked, laughing a little as she heard Savannah speak about her experiences so far. “Not that we’re competing but what is a decent night’s sleep again? I feel like that is a concept that I’ve long forgotten about.” She quipped, shoulders shrugging lazily for a moment. “I gotta say, I don’t think it ever stops being weird…. I guess weird just begins to be your new normal and all of a sudden you can’t even tell what is and isn’t weird anymore.” Brielle let out a humored laugh.

“That can’t be true. Your sister has to be a little happy to see you,” she joked. “Plus i’m sure there are some men around town thrilled you’re back. Alright bitch, you’ll get a party when I’m not in middle of having a baby. Give me like three years,” she joked. Savannah groaned back at Brielle. “God I should’ve known you’d make this into a competition. You’re so annoying.” Savannah paused for a moment, taking in the woman’s words. “Hm that kind of makes sense. I think that’s kind of how life is. New things feel weird until they don’t.”