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@savannahjh1992
Mental Health Awareness Week
So, right now I’m trying to sort my life out whilst simultaneously wanting to both live and die. Sound familiar? Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t. For so many of us managing mental illness this feeling is oh so familiar and what a bastard it is. When you also have a disability/long term illness and or health condition, things only seem less and less linear. Right now I’m wanting to walk,…
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A PROBLEM SHARED IS A PROBLEM SOLVED.
Mental illness can mean never feeling totally level, you’re either flying high, you’re indestructible and your life couldn’t be better or you’re rapidly drowning, struggling to get back to the surface. It’s the inevitable rise and fall for many of us with Bipolar and it’s entirely inescapable and overwhelming. Recently, I have been living in total darkness but have felt like I should be…
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Fat
I have been big for as long as I can remember. This big? Only once before. But generally big, always. Being fat has been a pretty big part of my life. I avoided PE because I was fat, avoided relationships and stayed in shitty relationships because I was fat, apologised for the most ridiculous things because I was fat and felt continuous shame because I was fat. Then I lost weight. Before having…
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Why I’d rather have poor health over a poor perspective...
Why I’d rather have poor health over a poor perspective…
I am so bored with people talking to me about my weight, informing me they are just concerned about my health. These people often demonstrate how little respect they have for those ‘less healthy’ and I feel it’s about time I express how little respect I have for them and their bullshit concern. Firstly, I AM in poor health, because I am disabled. I was disabled when I was slimmer, I am still…
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It doesn’t have to be Love.
I’d love to tell you all that I LOVE every part of my body, that every inch makes me proud and that like many of the other women on insta, I’m proud of my ‘tiger stripes’ and that my cellulite is celluLIT. However, I started this page to be honest, so honest I’ll be.
You see, it can be hard to love a disabled body, a body you don’t feel serves you as it is supposed to. My body has struggled to…
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Reaching Out
Things have been so up and down I’m finding it hard to keep up and today, for the first time since becoming a Mum, I reached out. I properly reached out. I asked for help.
Of course as always I feel guilty, I feel low and I feel like in saying that I’m struggling, I’m saying I don’t love being a mum. However, that simply isn’t true.
Playing, reading and singing with my children are…
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Self Reflection The way that we look doesn’t always reflect the way we feel. I’m in a bad place right now and I’m finding it hard to find a way out.
Summer Ready
The sun has been out and for the first time in years, so has my body. Last year I was almost there. Almost.
For so many years we have been taught to wear clothes that are flattering. But what do they mean, flattering? Usually,
it means slimming. It means subtle. It means loose. It means black. It means jersey.
I can’t count the amount of times someone has told me, “that makes you look…
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Heavy
My heart is heavy along with my eyes but somehow I’m still here, still conscious, still functioning. All I want is to be happy, to be healthy and to have a life that’s full and content. I want to feel included, to feel loved, to feel well.
I often feel many of those things, sadly, I never feel all of those things are once. I am lucky and I am loved, I am fortunate enough to never have to doubt…
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Our Children's Minds Matter
Our Children’s Minds Matter
I have been thinking more and more about the things we say to our children, from things like asking if they would like food as a treat to telling them to stop crying when it all becomes a little bit much. It’s a little bit bizarre but I feel I have only just come around to reminding myself that our children are just miniature versions of us.
Have you ever cried over something pretty…
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Time for Change
This year is my year.
Our babies are a little older, life’s a little bit easier and we have a beautiful new home in a new and perfect area.
It’s a new beginning for us and we have never been happier.
This year my mental health has been pretty poor. I can honestly say, I have never felt worse. There have been ups and downs, the usual stresses, family dilemmas and other kinds of changes throughout,…
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Winging It
Sometimes it is time for a little less front and a little more honesty. I’m struggling. I’m struggling because I want to be so many things and I want to be all of those things at the same time and I’m also struggling for absolutely no reason at all.
Like most people, I want to be a good person, a brilliant Mom, a daughter that makes my family proud, a supportive and loving partner and a loyal…
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Always caring
Recently I have encountered so many people who tell me that ‘having children is always hard’ when we are having a bad day, week or month. I guess that’s true. Hugo, our two-year-old, has been rather trying this past month or so, he’s a little late but he’s definitely arrived on the terrible twos train. That’s just the thing, terrible twos is just that, terrible twos. A phase. One day, he’ll be a…
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The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year?
Something we were never told as parents, particularly parents to super small people, is that Christmas isn’t always the most wonderful time of the year.
Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Christmas but Christmas with babies isn’t always how you imagine it to be. I love seeing my babies faces when I say “sure, have some chocolate for breakfast”, instead of my usual refusal of allowing junk food and I…
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Merry Christmas
This month is always a hard one in or household. I love love love Christmas, from the decorations, to visits from family, Christmas markets and ridiculous amounts of food, it’s all good for me. However, to our little Ralph, all those things are a little bit hellish.
You see, Ralph doesn’t like busy places, he doesn’t like it when his home changes, he doesn’t like a Christmas tree and he isn’t a…
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When Mental Health affects Physical Health
Every time I visit the doctors, I find they have this obsession with my physical health. Don’t get me wrong, it’s great that they’re concerned.
I’m constantly asked about my seizures and epilepsy, regardless of the fact that they’re more than aware that it is only getting worse. I’m also continuously asked about my brain in general, hows my memory, my concentration? Why is it that until I bring…
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Fat
I have been big for as long as I can remember. This big? Only once before. But generally big, always.
Being fat has been a pretty big part of my life. I avoided PE because I was fat, avoided relationships because I was fat, apologised for the most ridiculous things because I was fat and felt continuous shame because I was fat. Then I lost weight.
Before having my three children, I lost a lot…
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