“ i need you to see how important this is— us. i never care about people the way i care about you. ” (savior verse) - @savedpeople
Rick knows what Negan says is true, and that's the most infuriating part. He can't turn around and cry liar! like he so badly wants to. He can't dismiss the words as pillow talk or sweetly coated bullshit, no matter how angry it makes him. No matter how much it hurts to finally hear anything remotely honest about the way Negan feels towards him, he can't out right deny it.
"It's only important now because you feel that way," he replies through gritted teeth. Eyes stinging, he blinks against the sensation and clenches his fists at his sides.
But it's useless to fight it. His cheeks blotch pink, his teeth dragging his bottom lip in to hide the way it quivers. He turns his head with a frustrated moan as moisture collects on his lashes.
"You've treated me-- my feelings, like a bad joke. You locked me up! Kept me from my children for fuck's sake, Negan." It happened and Rick has forgiven him, but the hurt and anger simmers beneath the surface every damn day. It fuels him now, all the unnecessary pain Negan has caused him, all the times he's left Rick wanting for something he claimed he couldn't give, "But now you want to talk about us? 'Cause now you can see what everyone else can see, what I've been seeing since the moment you-- you..."
Negan has never failed to show him how much he cares, but when it came to brass tax, he's always been quick to deny it. It angers Rick that he's right, it is important, and that after all that's happened between them, he still yearns for Negan to want him.. to care for him. But he won't give into it just for history to repeat itself and he needs to know that it won't.
"You hurt me." He says it, simple and laced with pain and anger. Despite the tears, his eyes are fierce when they meet Negan's, "Do you care about that?"
