Save Me From Myself

My name is Sarah. I write poetry. Feel free to check out my personal blog, at: pocahontasisasixstringedfreak.tumblr.com/

[savemefromfallingdownfarther]

Where did the poetry go?

The words used to pour forth abundant,  but where are they now? Where did the poetry go?

There was strength and clarity, text sprung forth with meaning.  Where did the poetry go?

Is all of it lost?  Has life’s meaning been found? Where did the poetry go?

Have no hearts been broken? No joy foretold? Where did the poetry go?

Bring back the spark of creation,  bring back emotion, angst, brimstone. Where did the poetry go? 

Is all of it lost in motion? Speech? Photography? Where did the poetry go? It is still here, there, and everywhere.  Reinvention in motion,  ever morphing to meet new needs and desires, as new feelings proceed.  The poetry is here,  it is merely unrecognizable. 

[savemefromfallingdownfarther]

10 Short Letters to My Exes (updated)

Bradley: You were the first. I’m not even sure if this can be considered dating. You came out a lot more handsome than I did pretty. I hope you’re more stable now. You deserved better than me, I hope you’re happy now.

Jonathan: I saw you just last weekend. You’re very kind, even if you do overshare. You tell my friends you’re still in love with me. What makes me so special? I feel bad for your more recent girlfriends if you’re still stuck on me. It’s been three years, and we only ever kissed. I realized I couldn’t be with you forever when I saw how hairy your fat ass was. No offense.

Voldemort: This is just an alias, obviously. I’m not sure if you even belong on this list. I sure did love you, but you were never really mine. I tried to make you love me, but it didn’t work. I’d never experienced someone not falling when I turned on my charms. You taught me an important lesson when you sexually abused me. You taught me to never trust a man again, not that I realized it at the time. Someone close to me attempted to murdermurder me, but I have PTSD from out 6 month encounter, not that. You ruined me, but I’m healing now. I hope you burn in hell.

Eddie: You were young and innocent and sweeter at this time. I wonder what happened to you to turn you into such a thing. I wonder sometimes what it would be like if I’d stayed with you. In the end I’m happiest without you. Maybe I should’ve kissed you more. Oh well.

David: I broke up with you because I could never understand what you were saying on the phone. You overcame a lot. I didn’t know you well enough, and for that I’m sorry. I never learned how to trust you.

Connor: I didn’t like you nearly as much as I liked the idea of you. You were a shitty boyfriend, but I was a shitty girlfriend. I didn’t know how to be what you needed. For that I’m sorry. That doesn’t make you less of a dick.

Eddie: I wasted a year on you this time, but we were only together for about two months. You’re a self-serving dick, and I realized that. You broke my heart. I forgive you, but I’ll never forget. You ruined my life, and dragged me along til I was broken and bloody. What turned you into this? You weren’t always so cruel. I know I wasn’t in it when we dated again when your birthday crept up on me, sorry for that.

P.S. I want my cape back, asshole.

Jonathan: I’m not sure you belong on this list either. I had to choose between you two. Everyone pushed me towards you, but my heart was never in it. I’m sorry I led you on. I guess your passage is mostly here as a public apology. I’m sorry. I thought you could make me happy, but my heart was with him already. You’ll find someone better for you than I ever could’ve been.

Aaron: I didn’t realize I was afraid of you until I was worried you would hit me when we were breaking up. I’m sorry I hurt you, but I couldn’t bear to keep hurting myself by staying with you. I didn’t love you anymore. I hope you’re happier now. I’m glad you’re in school. I was hurt when I heard you moved on to a girl with the same name. Which of us had you really been in love with the whole time? Almost two years, and I still don’t know with any certainty. But I’d bet it had always been her name on your lips, not mine.

Dustin: I’m not sorry for how I hurt you. I’m worried about the cat I left behind with you, you never took care of her properly. I would worry more about how I hurt you if I hadn’t spent two years of my life being hurt by you. I lost friends, I grew apart from family, all because I kept picking you. In the end, I’d made up my mind before the ultimatum. I’ve never been so emotionally conflicted. You chose alcohol over me, but I was hoping I could leave and that would make you choose yourself. You chose alcohol, which is sad, but not my obligation to sit through. I’m a different person than when I started this prose. I am a grown woman. I am unapologetic. I am growing. I am learning. Hear me roar.

[savemefromfallingdownfarther]

I remember being pulled out in the hall during art class in elementary school. My teacher asked me if I was being abused. I didn't know that could mean anything other than being beaten, so I said no. But I didn't know my life wasn't normal, I didn't know that I had problems. Now I look back and I realize that I had a lot of problems. My home life was bad. It wasn't as bad as it got though. That was in fifth grade? Maybe fourth? It didn't get bad till middle school when dad got held at gunpoint. He changed after that. But he was never okay.

[savemefromfallingdownfarther]

"I've never been so instantly calm in someone's presence. I've never been so at ease, even in only my own company. There's something about the broken beat out your heart that validates the broken-ness of mine. There's something in your touch that pours light through my cracks. There's something in the way your body caresses mine that whispers "trust me." Loving you breaks every instinct I have. You have used so many, yet I feel taken care of. I know the body count of yours, how many hearts you've hurt, how many bodies have allowed you inside of them. I know. I know it should scare me, your track record says you'll break me, your mouth says "I'm too broken. I hurt people. I never want to hurt up. You put me at ease." Your eyes say "I never want to hurt you. I'll meet hurt you. I want to keep you safe." I don't know what to believe, but I'm taking the risk of loving you because my heart won't allow me to do anything else."

[savemefromfallingdownfarther]

On Friday You fell asleep with your head in my lap. On Friday I cradled your cheek and unknotted your hair with my fingers. On Sunday you fell asleep on my side to the sound of my beating heart. On Sunday I realized I will never love you more than in your vulnerability. There is no greater comfort to me than the sound of your easy breathing, the steady beat of your heart. You are at ease, you are mine. You put me at ease. There is no place I'd rather be than in your arms. Safe.

[gosh]

For myself I am too heavy, and for you too light.

Franz Kafka, Letters to Milena (via teenager90s)

[farewellwanderlust]

I dont know when or where this happened(i took a screen shot of a screenshot), but I saw this on facebook and I need help here. This person needs to be reported. This is animal abuse. It is not okay to pierce your animals because you think it will “look pretty.” Help put an end to this type of shit. Animals can feel emotions and pain and is not okay to think of them as toys or something that is there just to serve you. Spread the word. This is disgusting and needs to be brought to light and more than anything it needs to be stopped.

[imapeacefangirl-deactivated2020]

59 notes?! THAT’s so little!!

[rururinchan]

CAN EVERYONE PLEASE SPREAD THIS?!?!?

This is 100% animal abuse. Especially to a cat in this case! They have very sensitive ears!

[thessalian]

Holy shit, can we get the SPCA up in here?

[squishyhowell-deactivated201802]

can i go up to the owner and beat the shit out of them? 

[loveisntblind]

I want to shit on her

[danisnotonfiirre]

let me burn the owner

[savemefromfallingdownfarther]

9 Shorts Letters to Ex-Boyfriends (updated)

<p>Bradley: You were the first. I’m not even sure if this can be considered dating. You came out a lot more handsome than I did pretty. I hope you’re more stable now. You deserved better than me, I hope you’re happy now.</p> <p>Jonathan: I saw you just last weekend. You’re very kind, even if you do overshare. You tell my friends you’re still in love with me. What makes me so special? I feel bad for your more recent girlfriends if you’re still stuck on me. It’s been three years, and we only ever kissed. I realized I couldn’t be with you forever when I saw how hairy your fat ass was. No offense. </p> <p>Voldemort: This is just an alias, obviously. I’m not sure if you even belong on this list. I sure did love you, but you were never really mine. You deserve all the best. I tried to make you love me, but it didn’t work. I’d never experienced someone not falling when I turned on my charms. You taught me an important lesson.</p> <p>Eddie: You were young and innocent and sweeter at this time. I wonder what happened to you to turn you into such a thing. I wonder sometimes what it would be like if I’d stayed with you. In the end I’m happiest without you. Maybe I should’ve kissed you more. Oh well.</p> <p>David: I broke up with you because I could never understand what you were saying on the phone. You overcame a lot. I didn’t know you well enough, and for that I’m sorry. I never learned how to trust you. </p> <p>Connor: I didn’t like you nearly as much as I liked the idea of you. You were a shitty boyfriend, but I was a shitty girlfriend. I didn’t know how to be what you needed. For that I’m sorry. That doesn’t make you less of a dick.</p> <p>Eddie: I wasted a year on you this time, but we were only together for about two months. You’re a self-serving dick, and I realized that. You broke my heart. I forgive you, but I’ll never forget. You ruined my life, and dragged me along til I was broken and bloody. What turned you into this? You weren’t always so cruel. <br> P.S. I want my cape back, asshole.</p> <p>Jonathan: I’m not sure you belong on this list either. I had to choose between you two. Everyone pushed me towards you, but my heart was never in it. I’m sorry I led you on. I guess your passage is mostly here as a public apology. I’m sorry. I thought you could make me happy, but my heart was with him already. You’ll find someone better for you than I ever could’ve been.<br> I do love you, just not the way you wanted me to.

[savemefromfallingdownfarther]

Lovesick Insomnia

how am I supposed to sleep without your warmth? how am I supposed to sleep without the comfort of your arms? how am I supposed to sleep without your quiet breathing? I think I'm falling, and I hate it. The feeling of falling yanks me out of sleep. I can't sleep without you. I'm so tired, but I keep falling. Falling, falling, falling... I can't keep going with these sleepless nights, but I don't mind them the same way when I'm with you. Sleeplessness seems like the only reasonable way to live. Closing my eyes seems like torture, because it tears my eyes away from the new reality of you. I hate falling, because I don't trust anyone to catch me.

[savemefromfallingdownfarther]

Fuck my father. Fuck my father. Fuck my father. Fuck my father. Fuck him. Fuck him. Fuck him.

[savemefromfallingdownfarther]

How sad it is that we love things for what they are, and people for who we think they could be.

[savemefromfallingdownfarther]

Your kisses are velvet on my skin, and you burn me hot enough to reconstitute my shattered pieces. I feel like our love is so young, our relationship untested and stress less, carefree though in reality it is not. I love you more than I ever thought it was possible to love another human being. You're not perfect in my eyes. I don't gloss over your shadows, I explore them, despite your wishes. I want to know every part of you that you're ashamed of; every cut, every bruise, every awful story. I want to know them. I want you to know that they change nothing. I see them, and I accept them, and I love them just the same. No matter what you do to me, I can't love you any less. You are more than the sum of your parts. You are more than you know, and more than I can express, more than any modern language can express. Maybe an ancient language had words for a man like you, but no language I know a lick of has anything that begins to describe you. Words fail, when you come to mind, and that's where music begins. That's the saying at least, where words fail music begins. Words about you fail me, so I filled their place with music. That's where my soul lies, where your soul lies. Our common ground, our love.

[savemefromfallingdownfarther]

For My Favorite TeddyBear

You're awfully lovable for someone who doesn't know how to love themselves. Sure, you're a bit worn out, and a bit torn up, but what child's favorite bear isn't? I will sew you back together, when the world has ripped out your seams with cruelty, and patch you up when the world has worn you thin with weariness, and unceasing requests for more. I will tuck you into bed as if you are my own, when the world has pounded all day at your door, and grant you rest and haven from the torrential downpour of impossible requests you've been given. I will be the harbor for your boat, when the world has battered you endlessly at sea. I will love you, and care for you, when the world treats you roughly, because someone has to, and for some reason, I cannot fathom, you cannot love yourself.

[savemefromfallingdownfarther]

You really are so good to me. You show up when I'm drunk, and I beg you to come. You show up when I'm sunburned, and I need aloe vera. You take me home, when the sadness in me is at high tide, ready to sweep me out to sea. You really are so good to me. You worry that you don't spend enough money on me. I don't want your money, I want your heart, don't you see? What you see, when you look in the mirror, is not at all what I see. No matter what you see, You're beautiful to me. You really are so good to me. Can't you see? I love you with every part of me. You might not think you're beautiful, but you always are to me.

[savemefromfallingdownfarther]

"Music and Cars; if there's a more thrilling combination out there we can't think of it." I know it's simply a commercial for a car you would hate, but it proves nonetheless that you, my dear, are anything but dull. You are music and cars glued together with sadness, with a sticky veneer of self doubt. You are also so much more, you are words, and strength and stony silence. You are laughter, and clouds, and the color blue personified. So much alike, we are. You see I am music and addiction mashed together into a bitter paste with depression as a binder. I like to believe I am so much more, but perhaps that's only you.

[savemefromfallingdownfarther]

You Ruin Me

You ruin me. I breathed on my own for 16 years, but you certainly take my breath away. You ruin me, you do, you ruin me. My heart pulsed a steady beat, independently of yours for 17 years, but somehow you make it skip. You ruin me, somehow, you ruin me. I've worked out my nerves of everything else, set my plans and made my marks, but somehow, seeing your smile alone is enough to make my stomach flutter. You ruin me, oh how you ruin me. I love you. You're all that's good for me, but I love you with a love that ruins every part of me, turns me into nothing more than independent cells again, a mass of bubbling nothingness, no longer a conglomeration of bones and flesh and brain and soul. You undo me, unmake me, and ruin me you do. In my nothingness, I am everything. I see myself, and the future, and the past, and I see you. I watch myself love you, with a love that ruins me. And I can't bring myself to love you any less, or in any other way. I will love you forever, with a love that continues to ruins me.

[lamaisonmiette]