Party time! Someone has invited the Boyds to one of those parties where you go as the character/person/thing that spurred your sexual awakening. What do the Boyds go as? (Note: given these chucklefucks, there's a difference between what they go as and what it really was).
What they go as: Haha, well, he’s in a suit with a generic “FBI” badge affixed to it, and anytime he’s asked who he is he snappishly retorts, “Watch the X-Files, idiot.” Is he Mulder or Scully?? Nobody knows.
What it actually was: Steve has watched, like, two episodes of X-Files. There’s a reason he won’t say who he is, and that’s ’cause he doesn’t actually remember the characters’ names. Whoops! Look, he already has a suit, this was the easiest costume there was! His actual sexual awakening was that slightly-age-inappropriate book he read in 4th grade about the Spartans, that described the shocking tradition of Spartan girls shaving their heads and donning men’s tunics for their wedding nights! How perverse and barbaric! Steve rereads this book until the pages start to fall out. Steve can’t quite conceive of a gay marriage, so this is the closest he can get!
What they go as: Cinderella, which lets him simultaneously pretend to be straighter than he actually is, and also dress up all pretty and femme. He absolutely shaves his face for this one.
What it actually was: Aw, Pierce was a bit of a late bloomer in some ways – aside from the occasional butterflies he’d get reading Wolverine comics, he didn’t really start getting crushes/nascent sexual feelings when his peers did. His first sexual awakening hit him like a freight train, and it was totally unexpected. He was not expecting that book he plucked from his grandma’s box of dusty romance novels to be what it was! Pierce would read those bodice rippers under his covers with a flashlight, wide-eyed and dry-mouthed! He especially loved the scenes where the cruel love interest eventually realized what a good, sweet girl they had and desperately apologized for all their brutish misdeeds!
What they go as: Raven from Teen Titans. Growing up he really did think she was cute, and it’s fun dressing all goth!
What it actually was: He doesn’t remember anything else about that Sailor Moon episode other than Sailor Moon being captured and tied up! Yeah, that one stuck around in his head for a while! There was a period where he would insist on playing “Sailor Moon” with Nancy and all they’d do would be taking turns chasing each other and tying each other up.
What they go as: Lola Bunny! How cheeky and adorable!
What it actually was: There was a period when Clement was around 9-10ish that Piper had a fairly regular client that was kinda-sorta her boyfriend. Some of Piper’s clients would act creepy or overly solicitous towards Clement, but never Hunter. He’d take care of Piper when she was fucked up from drugs or booze (and sometimes stop her if she started to fight with Clement), and he babysat Clement a decent amount when Piper couldn’t or wouldn’t look after him. Piper did not do her due diligence here. She so lucky Hunter wasn’t a creep! Hunter was pretty great with Clement – he’d help him with his homework, make him dinner or get him takeout, and he’d never let Clement put on the sort of R-rated VHS’ Piper let him. Not the best influence though, he taught Clement how to pick his first lock and took him out shooting a few times! Clement would pretend Hunter was his dad, but he actually started getting jealous whenever Hunter was with his mom. He wanted him all to himself! He developed such a precocious crush, which is… maybe the reason Hunter left.
What they go as: He makes everyone at Rose’s party uncomfortable by showing up as a sexy dead body. Specifically a murder victim, of course.
What it actually was: Dream. And I sometimes like to think he has an especial fondness/fixation on the version of Dream he first knew, which was his Kai’ckul aspect. Corinthian sometimes misses him!
What they go as: Jeannie, from I Dream of Jeannie!
What it actually was: It actually was I Dream of Jeannie, but less so Jeannie herself and more the idea of being her. Still, most people are gonna assume he had a crush on the sexy and eager-to-please genie, and whatever, he’s fine letting them think that!
What they go as: Kim Possible, mostly because it’s an easy costume and has that femme tomboyishness Danny can really get into when given half an excuse.
What it actually was: Duchess from Aristocats. No, he’s also got no clue why. No, he’s not a furry. He would very, very much like to snuggle up with Duchess, though! Shut up, he’s done taking questions!
What they go as: Princess Peach.
What it actually was: Well, Princess Peach, but specifically because of how often she’d get kidnapped. Ty used to breathlessly imagine what it’d be like if he got to kidnap her!
What they go as: Seven of Nine, which tracks for everyone at the party. Stands to reason Quinn would go for the sexy and ruthlessly logical cyborg!
What it actually was: It was a sexy and ruthlessly logical cyborg that triggered his sexual awakening, but instead of Seven, it was actually that scene in Terminator 2 where Sarah Connor, biceps glistening, performs surgery on the stoic T-800. He got so many confused feelings hearing Sarah call the T-800 “it”, and that grudging respect she developed for it for being such an efficient and well-made tool! But, that’s harder to explain, so whatever, Seven of Nine is close enough.