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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

Discoholic 🪩

tannertan36
hello vonnie

Kaledo Art
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
One Nice Bug Per Day

PR's Tumblrdome
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Three Goblin Art
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

Andulka
Today's Document
Peter Solarz
$LAYYYTER
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@savetheprincessorditrying
This tumblr is no longer being updated.
The author of it now posts at @bambamramfan and http://prequelsredeemed.blogspot.com
on recent events in Atlanta
I didn’t visit Atlanta for Princess Cynara’s grail tournament, but some friends of mine did. A great deal of misinformation has spread on the Internet regarding what happened there, so let me confirm what I know.
Princess Cynara held a grail tournament in Atlanta on the Fourth of July.
The Heron Knight and the Honeybee Knight both showed up to participate, but were barred from entry on grounds of terrorism and unsportsmanlike conduct respectively. I don’t know whether Princess Cynara herself or another tournament official denied them admission; you’d have to ask them.
After this event, princessandknightfanboy and a few other knights withdrew from the tournament.
As everyone now knows because of the news footage and the bizarrely high-quality multi-angle video on YouTube, the Heron Knight and the Honeybee Knight nevertheless dueled outside the tournament grounds. At some point during the duel they took a break to kill some void terrors moving towards the tournament.
The Heron Knight won the duel.
After the duel, the Atlanta Police Department asked Princess Xiān Jié, who was visiting Atlanta for the tournament, to apprehend the Honeybee Knight, who is suspected of various charges (I don’t know what they are exactly) connected to her recent appearance at a #BlackLivesMatter rally in New York City. Xiān Jié did so, and the Honeybee Knight went into police custody without resistance.
The Boar Knight, who was also in Atlanta to fight in the tournament, has been deputized to guard the Honeybee Knight.
CHIKU’S THOUGHTS so the weirdest thing about this for me is all of the crazy stories coming out of atlanta about what the honeybee knight said at the gates of the tournament. i’ve read about people saying she screamed insults at the heron knight, the tournament officials, the cops, or princess cynara. she didn’t. princessandknightfanboy was actually there and took a cell phone video, which i went over really carefully with todd’s help. this is a complete and accurate transcript of exactly what the honeybee knight said before the duel began. n.b. for those of you who don’t listen to underground hip hop, honeybee’s emcee name is trancephorm, trance for short.
live from Atlanta, Trance had a plan to battle anybody, but funny thing: I’m banned, yo! hopin’ just to open, now I’m a headliner why you gotta keep sistas out like redlining? here’s Kennedy Wake, and her problem’s the same every enemy quakes when I drop in her name sayin’ Heron is a terrorist’s an error like a heresy turnin’ all ya foolishness to rules like y’all are Pharisees I will not apologize for patter when I battle are you faultin’ me for droppin’ rhymes, or backin’ #BlackLivesMatter? if you will not invite us, then we’ll fight beneath the weather we duelin’ despite ya when the chitin meets the feathers our ordeal’s unconcealed: won’t refuse you the view if you’re amateurs with cameras or crews from the news yeah, it’s sad we’re hated, but this thought’s in my brain we some gladiators: are you not entertained?
tl;dr don’t talk shit if you weren’t there. and if you were there, stop making shit up.
Oh geez Atlanta knights. Any idea why the Trancephorm was holding a sword when the Angel flew into a window, I mean, used it’s algorithm to pick her. Another fencer?
I’m going to make this quick
I, Prince Nakeya, have taken Ulysses “Lee” Hartwell, the Owl Knight, as my consort.
Though our bond is not and never will be romantic, our friendship is as strong and as important to me as any romantic bond might be. I don’t know if we will consort forever, but I know we will always be friends.
To any Shining Princess out there who feels pressured to adopt a romantic consort: I want you to remember that the consort bond is an American cultural construction, not a magical absolute. If your romantic or sexual identity (or lack thereof) makes you feel uncomfortable entering into a consort romance, please don’t change who you are just because you fear for the safety of your realm. Lee, Chiku, and I will help and support you nonetheless. We found a way. You will too. Don’t lose heart or hope.
CHIKU’S THOUGHTS behold. the post that launched a thousand ships
That is the opposite of the point!
go ahead todd, explain that to /mg/. i’ll wait.
(( *carefully avoids looking at RR* ))
(( RR is getting used to his new accessory, the first in a long time. Though he always does things the proper way ))
reminders to todd
add anansi to your gcal, he does the same shit every two weeks like clockwork
get a new fan
have conversations with calvin and parkmachine more than once a year
introduce the wolf knight to some actual wolves
hang christmas decorations on woomar never mind didn’t happen
get your bronsort to help you pack up everything your parents own so you can send it to them, thanks obona
go to mexico and/or cempoala to meet princess cempoala, she’s like five years old and probably needs some backup
go to matalorn to visit a-roth at motherfucking sorceress school
make rillian write a melody for your dumb songstitution, whether or not anyone wants to sing it
introduce arwen-clow to your dad nvm thanks again obona
write taylor back
move to minneapolis
fly out into the jeweled beyond with your superhero friends and find a.l. blackmont, the big scary void god who has evidently never been bitten before
or had sex
kiss autumn.
I can see if Bonaventure would let us visit, if you want.
…somehow I don’t think your dad would be terribly excited about bonding over bean-counting and pencil-pushing though. I mean, I assume there’s a reason he’s running around in Bonaventure now.
yeah visiting bonnie is the plan.
arwen-clow you haven’t met this guy, you haven’t seen his eyes light up every time he creates a pivot table. knowing him he’s probably in bonaventure on a pirate ship cataloguing treasure intake and coordinating watch schedules.
http://smbc-comics.com/index.php?id=3840
Make sure to click on the red button.
the last level
When I was a boy I remember going to the laundromat with mom and playing Pacman on the arcade machine there. I asked some adult looking figure at some point, when do you beat the game?
He said they just keep making levels. Even after 99? Well, you never get your quarter back.
I realized this weekend that I am never getting my quarter back. I may have killed an end boss, but the game goes on and on.
When I think of her bright smile now lost, the oft quoted poem from Arcadia comes to mind:
“We shed as we pick up, like travellers who must carry everything in their arms, and what we let fall will be picked up by those behind. The procession is very long and life is very short. We die on the march.”
***
Directed by Seth Gordon. With Steve Wiebe, Billy Mitchell, Mark Alpiger, Adam Wood. Die-hard gamers compete to break world records on classic arcade games.
For anyone trying to understand Knights, this is key.
Music video by U2 performing With Or Without You. (C) 1987 Universal-Island Records Ltd.
Listened to this on loop on the drive back.
Road Music
Driving to see a gathering of friends today. Made a mix for it, and I might as well post it here.
1. Guile’s Theme https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iof5pRAIZmw
2. I’m a Believer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zO6SwhfABF8
3. Under the Sea https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GC_mV1IpjWA
4. American Pie https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqukWXviyew
5. Nightswimming https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-YHU6BwPR0
6. As the World Falls Down https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VppuD1St8Ec
7. Invertebrate Retreat https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wRxOGlnMtvU
8. Cloak of Elvenkind https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HM7ID43om8
9. SMW Ghost Remix https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXuMIUcnFd8
10. Crescent Moon https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajtnaiLaJNQ
11. Find the River https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l0RCmOF1ACU
(Yes of course the order matters. It’s like you didn’t even read my post on warp zones. Full list at https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLx4kPV9ID8F-Z_07TiN_QdK_DZhOugaV2 )
Zelda II
I got nostalgic and tried “Adventure of Link” again.
Wow, that game is still hard.
Guess I know where I got my willingness to get up again and again from. And again. And again...
Link, as a good friend told me, sometimes it’s better to stay down. Or something like that, anyway.
Welcome to Frog Fractions. You will learn all about fractions!
Okay, I can’t really describe why I liked it, but nothing brings back memories like Frog Fractions. Give it a whirl.
(I never was able to find the sequel…)
a hero without a sword is like
The other 8-bit princess we spent an absurd amount of our childhood saving is none other than the Legend of Zelda. Wow did I love this game <3<3<3.
But what I remember most fondly is my insane quest to finish the game *without a sword*. My best friend bet it couldn’t be done (turns out he was right, you need the magic sword to kill Ganon), and I just had to prove him wrong. It was funny, they give you a sword at the very beginning, with every other item having some limit and being hard to get... but you don’t actually *need* it if you are bloody-minded enough.
First, you run to Dungeon 1, run past all the enemies, and go to the room with the candle. Now you have a candle which can be used to burn enemies... once per screen. At least the flame is pretty powerful. Next you kill enemies until you collect 40 rupees. Yeah, you can only kill one enemy before resetting the screen, but the path of perfection demands hard work (and every time you save-scum to get cheap money out of gambling, a Shining Realm cries). After that, go to the first cave that sells bombs and buy some (now fortunately, sometimes enemies will drop bombs after they die). Now you can proceed to Dungeon 2, where you can get the bow and arrow, and buy more arrows as you need them. Now you’re all set! Everything you have is in some way limited ammo, but all enemies can be killed.
You really get to know the game this way. You can’t barrel through rooms or be spendthrift with resources. I’ll never forget the level 5 dungeon room with 8 centaur knights ohmygoddess.
So yeah, load up the emulator, and try the No Sword Quest. My condolences when you get to the final boss.
Modern humility
Shigeru Miyamoto: I love games that reflect nature and childhood mystery. Pikmin is based on my garden. I like to garden. Zelda is based on the experience of stumbling across a strange cave as a boy. Isn't it wonderful how games can return us to these places. The ability to share these experiences with others is a true gift.
Jonathan Blow [creator of Braid]: Nobody understands how important my game about a time-traveling Mario in a suit who also created the atomic bomb is.
Here is Snake Eater, in MIDI format, for your listening pleasure.
Of course, ambiguous morality is not the same thing as *complicated* morality, so I hope you don’t think I’ll be skipping this series.
(via Active Time Battle Drives Me Crazy)
Even in this modern age, there is still so much we don’t understand about our own species. So many mysteries of humanity that remain unsolved. But soon there might be one less mystery, and it’s all thanks to Dr. Colleen Waldrop and her team of researchers from the American Anthropological Associa...
This is me trying to figure out this website.
Star #85 The Beleaguered Chancellor Terrestrial Star Equip - Daggers
HOW TO RECRUIT: As you’d expect, this is another of the TPC characters you need in order to recruit the Princess. He’s probably the easiest of the three to acquire, with the shortest and simplest recruitment quest, so most players go for him first…particularly given that, for certain party builds, he can make the nastier parts of TPC substantially easier. You’ll find him in the room right below the throne room, the one with the big map-table (which the fanbase has dubbed the “World Domination Room”). The first time you talk to him, he’ll talk for a while about how great you are and how grateful the denizens of his kingdom are for your various world-saving exploits, but he’ll also explain that he’s far too busy to get involved with the adventuring life personally. The kingdom won’t manage itself, especially not with its finances in such dire straits. Speaking of which, the Stars of Destiny are rich, any chance you could loan the kingdom 240,000 Gilpfennigs? Obviously the recruitment plot won’t advance until you do just that. Lend him the money, leave TPC, come back and talk to him again. He’s in a furious panic; the money apparently just disappeared before any of it could be spent. After a long (and awkwardly amusing) cutscene, some royal guards will try to arrest him for having stolen the money himself. You come to the poor man’s defense, of course. This is a trivially difficult battle by this point in the game; it’s just four Cataphractoi, and they’ll collapse in a minute or two unless you’re doing something very wrong. After the fight, there’s another cutscene, and before long the truth comes out. A guard captain took the money and ran off through the Southern Catacombs underneath TPC. [And how many catacombs does this damn castle have?] Time for a chase sequence! And you’ll have to choose whom you’re leaving behind, because the Chancellor is joining your party. The Southern Catacombs are simple to navigate, although the random encounters will mess you up unless you’re very overleveled. Watch out for Cyclone Ocelots, which automatically get a rearguard-attack on your party. Get to the end, beat up the Renegade Captain, and reclaim the money. Enjoy another cutscene. Then leave and come back again. A grateful Chancellor will join the party and repay your loan. GAMEPLAY NOTES: Weird guy. His abilities are a weird mix of leadership-style buffing with command-delay reduction, stat-targeting debuffs, and…Water-elemental magic attacks (???). He’s not at all bad as a support character, although by the time you get him you’ll have way more non-healer support characters than you know what to do with, and it helps a lot that he has a few offensive abilities that actually pack a punch. Most notably, however, he is the last and greatest of the Combine Tactic manipulators. For one thing, he’s got a crap-ton of them. More than any other Terrestrial Star, bar none. Quite a few are excellent; most commentators seem to agree that he has the second-best library of 2-character CTs in the game, even counting the Celestial Stars. (His larger CTs aren’t as impressive compared to the alternatives, but some are still pretty great.) More importantly, however, he has two of the the game’s best CT-enhancement abilities. Social Focus halves the AP cost of all Combine Tactics for the rest of the battle; Words of Ubiquity halves the command delay of all Combine Tactics for the rest of the battle. WHY YOU WANT HIM: He is the centerpiece of almost any serious build focused on Combine Tactics. His abilities turn an expensive gimmick into one of the more viable and cost-effective endgame strategies, and once he has his CT party buffs up and running, he can serve ably as a CT wielder in his own right. His stat debuffs are good enough to cripple powerful enemies in a pinch, if only very briefly. For fireside chat fans, he’s got unique dialogues with an absurdly large number of the other Stars. Makes sense given his gimmick, I suppose. WHY YOU DON’T WANT HIM: If you’re not running a CT party, he’s basically not worth it; there are better leaders, better debuffers, and certainly better elemental mages. (Not that you’re exactly crying out for leaders or debuffers in any case.) If you are running a CT party, well, you’ve got a lot of irritating constraints on your build. It’s hard enough assembling characters whose abilities work well together without having to start with “who happens to have good Combine Tactics together?”. Also, of course, Daggers are crap.
Does anyone have a copy of Unfulfilled Destiny? I never managed to unlock this guy.
Mario Mario
Nothing like starting from the greatest. (What did you expect, Snake the game?)
First off: has anyone ever in the history of videogames, played through Super Mario Bros 1 without warping? I don’t even know where I first heard about the Level 1-2 warp zone. I just naturally knew the first time I ever saw that spot, that I could run along the ceiling and skip to world 4.
It’s a nice game to play straight through too. I recommend trying it.
But the special love of my eye was always Super Mario Bros 3. It just had so much stuff, a real richness of detail. This was the first mario game to introduce a map... and they immediately put in secret areas of the map that you unlocked by fighting unnecessary battles. It had a bajillion cool suits: raccoon and fireflower, sure, but the hammer suit, the tanooki costume that let you turn into a statue, the frog suit, the kuribo shoe. And secret levels - they start you right off the bat with levels that can be accessed by pressing down on a white block, but like, does anyone even know why a Ship of Coins spawns sometimes? Plus it introduced the koopa kids.
I don’t know why later mario games became more stream-lined. They have a floaty powerup, a firepowerup and... an ice powerup. That tends to be it.
(And Chantel and I had a fantastic time playing SMB Wii. Pick that up if you ever really want to test your relationship.)