amortentia @savonnette - Tumblr Blog

<3 VALENTINE’S AD (apparently) <3 @supermackie

I’m not pointing any fingers, but this fucker on my left basically forced me to write a fucking Valentine’s ad for him, so I plan on making it the worst ever.

This asshat right here is Ross. Ross is old. I have known Ross since we were wee little babies, so like since we were 13. Ish. Ross isn’t someone you should befriend, because he’s a constant pain in the fucking ass. He looks like a gentle giant, but he’s not. Little does he know that I’m worse.

Here are a few tips to ruin Ross’s (Valentine’s) day 101: 1) Get your ass out of bed and head to the nearest party store. 2) Find yourself a neat looking BLONDE wig, you get extra points for bangs. 3) Wear it. 4) Take a selfie and ask him if he likes your new hair. 5) If he thinks you’re lying, be persistent. Keep up the act for a few days. 6) Make him believe it. own it. 7) When the time is right, break into any Hannah Montana song. 8) You’re welcome.

He’s a lazy little shit, he still hasn’t sent me my Fall Out Boy poster yet and the concert was in FUCKING OCTOBER. He has really, really big feet. Like he’s freaking Flipper. You know what they say about big feet.. yep, they come with smelly socks. Keep an eye out for those, you don’t wanna kill yourself.

I do have something good to say, just one thing. He did get me Peter Pan shit, so that makes him OK in my book. Swooning yet? I didn’t think so either. It’s okay though. He crushes on VHudge and SelGo. You should be fine.

Nevertheless, Valentine the fuck out of him and ruin his day for me, please. I can guarantee you that the above method WILL WORK. Message me if you’re interested and I will Hannah him again.

#ross #look ross #is valentine's day fun yet?#you're welcome #you asshole #supermackie #give me my damn poster #fall out boy #fob

I’ve been staring at this photo for far too long.

#josh ur out of the band #no but really #ur out of the band and in my heart #kittycat dun #josh dun #joshua dun #twenty one pilots #21p #21 pilots #tyler joseph #joshler

supermackie

VALENTINE’S APPLICATION

This is Shitface Chey. She asked me to fill this out for her so that I could find her a valentine, so here goes: Don’t do it. Save yourself. She’s annoying as fuck and she has a strange obsession with very young boys called Peter. She’s a fucking terrible tour guide too, got lost in her home town and couldn’t find the Zoo. THE ZOO. DO YOU KNOW HOW BIG THAT ZOO IS?? MASSIVE.

She’s also really ungrateful. She talked about fucking NASA food for months. MONTHS. Who bought her NASA food? Me. I did. What did she do with it? NOTHING. NOT A THING. She didn’t even eat it, the ungrateful asshole.

I got yelled at for the first picture I was going to use, so I used this one instead because of the phone case. I could have used HANNAH but that picture still haunts my dreams and I will never forgive her for betraying my trust.

I put up with her constant abuse and she seems to be okay with that and I guess she’s not 100% a dick, just mostly, and she likes tiny pigs, so Valentine the shit out of her please.

So Drop something in my ask if you’d like to apply and I’ll pass them on because I need to filter out any obscenities and replace them with stronger ones. Many thank, much peace.

savonnette

I approve of this message.

#i didn't think it would be like this #i need to be worse #game on #ross