out of the dust

You make beautiful things out of us.

[savtibbs]

It’s not our first Christmas together, but it is our first Christmas with a tree. 

We only have a few ornaments, each one special to us. Our new one this year is the lumberjack. Kadeem and I were thrilled to find an African-American lumberjack in Target--it’s so lovely to see a variety of races represented.* But we almost died of laughter when we saw that the lumberjack had white hands. Clearly, we had to purchase it. (I tried--and failed--to get a discount because of this manufacturing defect. But it’s okay; we think it’s hilarious.) 

*This is something that I had never thought about until dating Kadeem. I never had to think twice about finding an ornament or a doll that “looked like me” because these things tend to be white.** Since being married to a minority, I’ve discovered the joy of diverse representation, even in the small things like Christmas ornaments. It’s beautiful. 

**I hate that I feel like I have to qualify this, but this is neither a political statement nor an accusation. It is, however, a commentary on putting ourselves into other peoples’ shoes. This is a healthy exercise. 

[savtibbs]

We went out to get a Christmas Tree this morning. It was one of the most outdoors-y things we have ever done.

(We prepped before with homemade donuts.)

[savtibbs]

He is such a good sport as I [slowly] teach myself how to get the right exposure. This usually amounts to: *shoot*, *check LCD screen*, *adjust shutter speed and the other thingy*, and repeat. At least 10 times. 

[savtibbs]

Halloween, 2016. It was the obvious choice.

[savtibbs]

My favorite person in the entire universe, who also happens to be a really handsome subject for my photos.

[savtibbs]

Yellowstone, 2016.

[savtibbs]

This movie was delightful. And this song--especially the last verse--is beautiful and heartbreaking. (I don’t know the exact translation, but I think I get the picture.)

“Un peu loin des yeux plus tout près de toi Je ne compte que sur mes doigts Si par coeur brisé Je n'ai que des A Est-ce que tu reviens, Papa?”

[savtibbs]

Central Park, NYC, just minutes before he asked me to marry him. 

[savtibbs]

We finally took the time to hang up some things in our apartment. 

[savtibbs]

Race has been on our minds a lot lately, with everything going on. Kadeem and I aren’t sure what to think about a lot of things. Between all the bad research and sneaky political agendas on all sides, it’s difficult to know what the truth is.

One thing is for certain: I’ve loved Leon Bridges’s music for a long time now. (Also, Kadeem and I agree that his unique sense of fashion is impeccable. And that haircut . . . so cool.)

Bridges’s new music video is a work of art. Authentic, refreshing, and beautiful.

“Leon Bridges released the new music video for “River” Monday, and it’s filled with images both deeply upsetting and hopeful: In one shot, a man walks home in a bloodied shirt as lights from police cars shine behind him. In another, that same man holds his baby on his bare chest from the comfort of his home as rain pours outside. Bridges, who released his debut album this past June, told NPR he wrote the track when he ‘had little hope and couldn’t see a road out of my reality. When thinking about how to best visually represent this universal battle, I reflected on the depiction of black communities in our media and particular experiences within my own life,’ Bridges said. The video was filmed in Baltimore, the site of Freddie Gray’s April 2015 death and the resulting Baltimore protests. ‘This video showcases the unique struggle many black men and women face across this country,’ Bridges continued. ‘However, unlike the captured images which tend to represent only part of the story, I wanted to showcase that through all the injustice, there’s real hope in the world.’ Watch the video, which concludes with Bridges himself leaving his hotel room to face the rain.” [Entertainment Weekly]

[savtibbs]

This song is a masterpiece. Much like “One Day More” from Les Miserables, “Non-Stop” borrows refrains and lyrics from other songs, seamlessly connecting the main musical and literary themes. 

“I know it’s a lot to ask, to leave behind the world you knew . . . “ Washington’s part reminds us that the ideal character for a political leader is somebody who recognizes the cost of leadership. This foreshadows his humble stepping down from presidency after just two terms, thus setting a brilliant precedent for future presidents to follow. Hamilton’s interjections in between Washington’s lines--”Treasury or State?”--reveal that he is far too eager for political power. The play does not highlight how these types of leaders can be destructive to free government. Instead Miranda shows us ambition can destroy love and family. “Helpless,” Eliza Hamilton sings, but this time with a different tone. Before she was helplessly in love, and now she is helplessly left behind: “If your wife could share a fraction of your time, if I could grant you peace of mind, would that be enough? . . . . Look around, isn’t this enough? Could it be enough?”

Like Washington, Burr’s “wait for it” attitude sharpens our awareness of Hamilton’s determination not to stand firmly for his beliefs. Unlike Washington, this highlights one of Hamilton’s positive qualities: his passion for good and free government. Even though he made enemies in the process, Hamilton was willing to fight for how he believed a government should work. Agree with him or not, this consistent, outspoken passion is admirable. 

Hungry for success and out to prove himself to the world, Hamilton emulates a character trait detestable to free and good government, much less to a marriage. His passionate pursuit of ideas that he believes are true and good is one small redemption; the audience is left wanting more. (See: “It’s Quiet Uptown”)

Hamilton is neither a villain, despite his character flaws, nor a demigod, despite his desirable traits. He is, quite simply, a protagonist in a historical narrative. Somehow, Miranda brings all these things together in a single song. This is why I consider this song a masterpiece. 

[savtibbs]

What had been a chariot gliding in the fields of heaven became a dark steel box dimly lighted by a lit of window, and falling. They were falling out of heaven, into a world. Nothing in all his adventures bit so deeply into Ransom's mind as this. He wondered how he could ever have thought of planets, even of the Earth, as islands of life and reality floating in a deadly void. Now, with a certainty which never after deserted him, he saw the planets--the 'earths' he called them in his thought--as mere holes or gaps in the living heaven--excluded and rejected wastes of heavy matter and murky air, formed not by addition to, but by subtraction from, the surrounding brightness. And yet, he thought, beyond the solar system the brightness ends. Is that the real void, the real death? Unless . . . he groped for the idea . . . unless visible light is also a hole or gap, a mere diminution of something else. Something that is to bright unchanging heaven as heaven is to the dark, heavy earths. . . . Things do not always happen as a man would expect. The moment of his arrival in an unknown world found Ransom wholly absorbed in a philosophical speculation.

Out of The Silent Planet by C.S. Lewis

[savtibbs]

Monkey Temple (Swayambhunath) in Kathmandu, Nepal: I caught this little guy eating his stash of stolen goods. 😂🙈 (at Swayambhunath)

[savtibbs]

{Pictures from my mountain flight through the Himalayan Mountains}

The first and second pictures include Mt. Everest. Guess which one is Everest?

  "So often I have seen the dawn come and the light flood over the land and everything turn radiant at once, that word 'good' so profoundly affirmed in my soul that I am amazed I should be allowed to witness such a thing." ~a passage from Gilead by Marilynne Robinson

[savtibbs]

{Pictures from Nepal} 1-3. Pokhara: the sky was never clear enough to see the Himalayas, but this view made up for it. 4 & 5. Again in Pokhara. From a balcony at the hotel where I stayed. (I can never quite decide between black & white and color.) 6 - 9. Dhading District: views from the villages we visited.

[savtibbs]

{Left} Flying over the Atlantic Ocean is somewhat terrifying. But the sunrise was incredible. {Right} I couldn't get enough of these clouds.

[savtibbs]

Kathmandu, Nepal. Less than $2 for the most delicious chow mein. (And yes, that is cilantro.) I don't know how I will ever pay more than $5 for a meal again!