Scalesy

tw;ed sufferer in her 30s

[scalesyy]

NEW MAIN OF @scalesy </3 PLEASE BLOCK DON'T REPORT

o/ hey guys, gals, and non binary pals, you can call me B or Scalesy (skayle-zee).

I'm 33 y/o, pronouns she/they, bi.

This blog is an outlet for my mental illnesses, so TW for that content. I will never give out tips or encourage behaviours.

I will block coaches and/or people who have their likes & following public, and/or cross tag.

I am not in active recovery, however:

I support and encourage anyone who wants to recover, reduce harm, seek support etc.

DNI: nsfw/pr0n only blogs | people with likes & following public | "coaches" | homophobes/TERFS/racists/islamophobes/antisemites etc | I may block ageless blogs etc

[scalesyy]

I am destroyed tbh.. hopefully ill have more energy to post soon

[scalesyy]

Wow oops i might have reblogged this withouth commenting but basically im shocked this was only apparently yesterday ? As i feel checked out mentally and have for like 5 days now. Things are fine and nothing major has happened it might just be a knock on effect of missing my meds for a few days two weeks ago? Meh

[dogwoodbite]

(guy who doesnt even like dating) ok well does anyone want to get entranced by my whole deal or no.

[scalesyy]

I am destroyed tbh.. hopefully ill have more energy to post soon

[scalesyy]

Wonder if the reason i cant sleep is because i keep scrolling. Hmm hmm hmm hmmmmmmm

[scalesyy]

What a fucking week. Also btw i fell over NOTHING in a very public place while at work earlier. So embarrassing.

[yourgirlinpieces4]

all roads lead back to the loneliness i felt as a child

[scalesyy]

This week has been too much to cope with. Sorry ive barely interacted. Still alive n kicking. Ill have one day to myself this week i cant wait..

[natureell]

[only-cat-memes]

[scalesyy]

🫩

[scalesyy]

Ya im emotionally dead and socially fatigued. I'll get back to you in 3-5 business days

[scalesyy]

One more dayy. Back to usual tomorrow eve i hope. My tummy has not enjoyed this

[scalesyy]

Away for weekend with friends ahh. Food and alcohol hahaaa. .....

[scalesyy]

I need to stop saying yes to meals out its killing me financially and physically and emotionally

[scalesyy]

I'm a minimalist. As in I can only achieve the minimal required

[scalesyy]

Ok kinda a rambling vent/whinge about work lol dont feel obliged to read

Honestly I've found so much stuff online about ppl with autism being out of work etc, or chronic mental illness etc. And as someone with autism and eupd etc i really struggle with working full time. But like the social pressure and financial pressures are much heavier. So even if it induces full body stress and blood pressure changes and burn out , I keep forcing myself to work. But then the issue is that im not always that productive, i cant always meet my targets, i rearrange things like meetings etc because like the day i had before it has a knock on to the day after and i cannot face whatever it is. Like over all i feel like outwardly i cope well enough that people are shocked if i am off for mental health stuff, but then my awkwardness and anxiety when i force myself in are palpable and people are like errr... why did you do that/say that/react like that? But then if i listen to my body and have a day off or work from home theyre like :/ we really needed you today and now we're behind...

Its fucking exhausting honestly. But what alternative can i do? I already live with my mum because i cant afford to move out alone. I struggled in other jobs before this too, and i already do better than I thought i ever would when i was agoraphobic etc. Like i never used to leave the house and couldnt walk past cars, use public transport etc. So i never got a job til about 23 and lots of exposure therapy. So its frustrating i still struggle now lol i wish i was neurotypical.

Fuckkkk