COME AT ME SCRUB LORD I'M RIPPED

Sup guys and gals. Name's Leif. This is my blog about random shizzle I see and want to show y'all. I am a complete idiot also.

[stream]

Goatface: A Comedy Special

[memorian]

I love Guillermo del Toro.

[mimikyu-chwan]

reblogging your own posts because they didn’t get enough notes:

[pirategf]

me: yes i know gay villains are a dangerous trope

me when villains are straight: this is boring. who cares

[tem-pissed-in-a-t-pot]

It’s not dangerous if everyone is gay

[annoyingdogsong]

[just-shower-thoughts]

Tradition is just peer pressure from dead people.

[totallysilvergirl]

I want this on a bumper sticker

[pearswhy]

sex line operator: oh yeah baby, i’m taking off my cloths. my clothe is coming off. me: hmm.. ok… sex line operator: yeah baby youre so hard, i can tell youre getting turned on me: i never said that. youre godmodding. im hanging up

[silentwalrus1]

i had a thought today like man, my ancestors would probably not approve very much of me being such an extravagant glutton, but then i was like wtf are u kidding. those dumbasses didn’t live on a fuckin potato ass diet for no minimalism. they didn’t do what they did, whatever the fuck it was, for me NOT to fucking eat my bodyweight in sashimi!!! they would be fucking ecstatic to see me making the most of my opportunities for plenty. they would be fucking cheering me on. every lice-covered cossack and illiterate serf and three-toothed yak herder in my lineage is with me in this restaurant, and they are going absolutely apeshit watching me try to fit an entire samosa in my mouth

[silentwalrus1]

i love this idea that the ancestors are following modern people around like a rappers yes-man as we eat food #‘fucking superb you funky little descendant’

me, standing in front of the burger king counter like the blithering hunger gibbon i am: i’ll have… uhhh… double whopper with fries. thank you. large please

the 500 mongolian tatar and polish jew ghosts behind me: [ERUPT INTO WILD SCREAMING AND HIGH FIVES] 

[pochowek]

can you believe there is a painting of cossacks going hogwild out there that fits this situation perfectly

[horrorofthebeast]

This is fucked up

[hollowboobtheory]

fuck lemonade this summer we’re all about liquid asphalt 

[keylimepxssy]

y’all i had one last week and shat bright teal for 3 days so use caution

[mysticalcoffeequeen]

They gotta dispose of their aliens somehow

[paperblairplanes]

Lemony Snicket really was out here using his wild, unique style unlike anything I'd read before, doubling my vocabulary, not giving even the littlest shit about traditional writing rules, teaching me to be good and kind even when the world is decidedly not, warning me of the evils of the world getting their way, and spinning out an avant-garde literary masterpiece all while convincing me that what I was reading was just a fun tale

[sloppystyle]

[corsolanite]

man this movie didn’t have to go there like that but they did anyway.

[pokemonheadcanons]

I’m here to address the fact that Mr. Mine was drinking a martini.

[okapiandpaste]

Also I need people to know they hired a real mime to teach Justice how to mime pouring gasoline, because apparently there’s a very specific, textbook way to mime that

[thatdiva]

[runawaymarbles]

Jesus Christ I hate that we live in a time where I can see this with no context: 

and immediately I know exactly what has happened

[afeelgoodblog]

[blobdylan]

[systlin]

I’M DYING

[tomyfancy]

Day 3 of 5

“Dear Citizen,

In order to deliver on our promise to save America, we knew we needed to tackle our country’s biggest issue: wealth inequality. The richest 0.1% of Americans have as much wealth as the bottom 90%.

Our lawyers wouldn’t let us pursue our first choice - a campaign to eat all the rich people and live in their homes - so we settled for something more achievable. Today, Card Against Humanity has redistributed your wealth.

Using the survey you filled out when you signed up, we identified the 100 poorest recipients and sent them each  check for $1,000. To see how this $1,000 is impacting these peoples lives, read their stories at CardsAgainstHumanityRedistributesYourWealth.com. The next 10,000 poorest recipients got a $15 refund check.

You got nothing. And if you don’t like it, tough titties.

I love you,

Cards Against Humanity”

[strutsonicely]

I was one of the 100 to get the check from these folks, and holy shit I was CACKLING at the hurt people on Facebook. Some people only cared about their precious $15 when it helped the poor.

[systlin]

Congrats! I’m thrilled that some of my $$$ went to people who needed it. 

[solluxisms]

I went to their website for this to see if info on the other days was out, and their FAQ is so perfect I almost choked to death.

[anxietyproblem]

[nbc-trialanderror-deactivated20]