la douleur exquise

30-year old bisexual female filipino capricorn who likes too much shit. help.

[scenesinmoonstruck]

bnfa

hello. hi. i cant stop thinking about you. i might have pushed you away. i still smell you on my skin. i can still remember how you taste. my heart aches to see you again but i know it’s damn right impossible unless you reach out. i’m sorry. i’m so sorry. i think i’ve fallen. i’ve fallen. what if i told you that i’ve fallen?

it never would’ve worked

there’s a physical pain inside my chest

i keep waiting for your review on letterboxd. i’m insanely anguished we won’t see each other again.

SO FUCKING IRONIC that i know your full name and your passport number and your phone number and your kiss and how your body works and looks like but i dont even know your instagram handle

ok. here’s the fuck up part i was talking about earlier. i may have lachesism. it means the desire to be struck by disaster. basically it’s just me fucking things up. anyway. i’ll never send this to you, but i need to put it down anyway. i really enjoyed the past weeks. we were talking fine and we were slowly building a friendship. and now you don’t want to see each other again. it’s pretty sad. pretty damn bleak if you ask me. idk i just was hopeful that, even a friendship, we were building. i’m actually dreading you hooking up with anyone else. and i know, i know that’s very possessive of me. i have no fucking right. but i can’t help what i feel. i already miss you. i miss touching you, i miss your skin against mine. my hair tie smells like you. my jacket smells like you. now that i think about it, it smells like heartbreak. you’re so pretty and smart and kind and i can’t fucking believe you don’t want to see me again. it pains me. it aches like the burning of a thousand suns. was i not good enough? did i not treat you the way you wanted me to? was i not enough for you? i’m sorry. i’m so sorry. i think i’ve fallen in the hours we were together. i shouldn’t have, but i think i did. i didn’t mean to fall in love tonight. i hope you think of me. i hope you think of my fingers and my hands. i hope you think of my kiss. like how i think of how the way your eyes glisten is so goddamn beautiful. you’re so damn beautiful. i’m sorry again. i’m sorry, always. i’ll miss you. i miss you.

i’m so devastated we won’t see each other soon. or ever. again.

bianca. oh, bianca. like a shakespearean tragedy, you have caused me. a heartache and a heartbreak rolled into one.

oh, bianca.

a could have been, you are. you always will be. i hope south korea gives you the cold my heart feels now that you’ve left me.

i hope you think of me.

[scenesinmoonstruck]

chapter 1 of many!! here's a new haysilee (haymitch x maysilee) fic!! ☺️ do check the tags and author's note before reading!! hope you enjoy!

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/84664366/chapters/223396656

[scenesinmoonstruck]

I totally forgot to post this here but anyways!!

PUMPING OUT A NEW HAYSILEE (haymitch x maysilee) FIC EYYY !!!! 🥰😍 toyed with the idea of a sort-of sick fic/injury fic with this one hehehe but also lots of other things thrown in! check the tags! ☺️ enjoy reading and let me know what you think!!

Link: archiveofourown.org/works/84057851

[scenesinmoonstruck]

made a haysilee (haymitch x maysilee) discord server for those who want to join!! just dm or send me an (not anon) ask!

[scenesinmoonstruck]

hello haysilee nation / haysilee peeps!

I commissioned a lovely artist with haysilee NSFW art. please go to @haysilees if you want to go see it. just send me an ask for the password to the blog! thanks and enjoy, haysilee loves!

[scenesinmoonstruck]

are you planning on releasing anymore haysilee fics, they're the best

yes of course!! planning to populate that AO3 tag with lotsssss of fics 🥰

[scenesinmoonstruck]

Aren’t you the person who ships Joseph and McKenna? I was a huge fan of ur haysilee fics but finding out u actually ship the actors.. yikes. I just wanna warn you that people are blasting u all over x and posted ur tumblr everywhere…

ok look 1.) how old are you bcos any sane (older) person would not call that site x bcos they would call it twitter so youre obviously too young to know shit or too young to interact with me 2.) if you're uncomfortable with rpf then pls dni bcos i write abt jpop rpf and read bandom patd rpf so idk abt u but better if you dont interact with the likes of me lol save us both the trouble bcos im not gonna let anyone dictate what i should and should not do 3.) i love mason and mckenna. god knows how much i adore those two together. that said, I also recognize joseph and mckenna have chemistry. nothing wrong with that. do I particularly "ship" them? idk atp tbh. theyre cute but i do love mason and mckenna more (no dont ask me abt jo and his girlfriend bcos idgaf abt that lol). but I do recognize their chemistry. 4.) youre giving me mixed signals here anon bcos you call me 'yikes' then compliment my haysilee fics and warn me that ppl are blasting me on twitter and posted my tumblr everywhere (which, lol, where?) so idk man. are you trying to be friendly here or? pick a side LOL.

[scenesinmoonstruck]

WHAT'S UP NEW HAYSILEE (haymitch x maysilee) FICCCCCCC !!!!!! 🥰 this takes place at the lovely beaches of District 4 bcos I wanted a beach-themed fic for the otp. bcos why the hell not !!!! hehehe. enjoy!!

link: archiveofourown.org/works/83409821

[mckenna-source]

Mckenna Grace as Maysilee Donner and Merrilee Donner in "The Hunger Games: Sunrise On The Reaping" (2026)

[sadieillustrates]

Maysilee Donner, I love you!

[windsh0wling]

Hunger Games Fancast - Katniss Everdeen

You're a painter. You're a baker. You like to sleep with the windows open. You never take sugar in your tea. And you always double-knot your shoelaces.

with Courtney Eaton as Katniss Everdeen

you can pry my yellowjackets fancasting out of my cold, dead hands :)

[danadelion]

Just finished reading the Hunger games trilogy.

I wanted to capture the book versions, but the film adaptations still have an iron grip on me, so you might see some similarities

[scenesinmoonstruck]

thg twt is a disease lol

[scenesinmoonstruck]

YAY FINALLY NEW FIC !!! this is for my lovely haysilee (haymitch x maysilee) and the idea that got stuck in my head so I just HAD to write it down. yes, it's smut. yes, they're horny. yes, I will continue to write them being so HEHE. anyways enjoy!!

link: archiveofourown.org/works/82521861

[scenesinmoonstruck]

𝓈𝑜 𝐼 𝓅𝓇𝑜𝓅𝑜𝓈𝑒 𝒾𝓉'𝓈 𝓁𝑜𝓃𝑔 𝑜𝓋𝑒𝓇𝒹𝓊𝑒

𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝑔𝑜 𝓉𝑜 𝒽𝑒𝓁𝓁, 𝐼'𝓁𝓁 𝑔𝑜 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝑜𝑜

haymitch abernathy x maysilee donner

double victors, star-crossed lovers

a glimpse of the victory tour

[scenesinmoonstruck]

i love these tags so much bcos i agree with every single post on here

[dream-with-a-fever]

the main reason i struggled to connect with the haydove storyline was because so much of it was tell not show. haymitch recalling past interactions with his tRUe loVe at random moments throughout the book was less romantic and more irritating as a reader. i understand in the circumstances, there wasn’t the time to have them develop over time or see the course of their love, so when we just continually get told they love each other like all-fire it’s like…. okay? but like.. i’m still not that invested.

that’s why i was immediately drawn into his dynamic with maysilee. it’s all happening in the present. he’s had these long held views about who she is and what she does — she’s the most stuck up girl in town, she flounces around in nice dresses and nail polish, nicknames him itchy itchy haymitchy, supposedly looks down on everyone else in town — but he soon learns there’s a lot more to her than he realised. his perceptions of her are challenged, and he comes to not only really respect her, but genuinely like her. they form a trusting bond despite their initial dislike/mistrust of each other. they have a mutual disgust of the capitol and you’re lying if you think they don’t find it admirable and attractive, that the other doesn’t back down in the face of adversity and stands up to anyone who disrespects them, which could and does often result in disastrous consequences (haymitch placing louella’s body directly in front of snow, maysilee slapping drusilla right back, haymitch actively trying to dismantle the arena, maysilee attacking the gamemakers who are trying to fix the berms etc). and yes, we hear that lenore has done some of this too back in 12, but again i feel less connected to it because it’s all tell and not show. maysilee and haymitch’s acts of defiance are shown, not told.

not just that, but they actually get along? their little chats in the training room, the way they joke around together a lot in the arena (miss donner! mr abernathy!), the way they look out for each other and care about each other. that’s a gOOD STORY. that dynamic is so engaging and fun to read, and ultimately so tragic when they have to split up, and he ends up losing the girl he swore he didn’t give a stuff about? and he holds her as she’s dying, pinky swearing to tear down the capitol brick by brick. like??? him seeing her twin sister back in district 12 and running to her, screaming her name?? only to realise… it’s not her. but her face will haunt him forever. LIKE. my HEART. none of his reminiscing of lenore or their two three-page scenes managed to hit as hard as these two.

even his interactions with effie??? like i was SEATEDDD. i loved how she was still kind, empathetic and respectful, despite being brainwashed. she was still a good person, who had been completely indoctrinated into a set of ideals by her government. but clearly had the empathy from the beginning to change perspectives as the story goes on. the way they come to trust each other. the ‘i’m not going to hurt you’ ‘i know’ like???? nothing about their relationship gave romance (yet), but their interactions were so damn lovely, and knowing she stuck by him all those years afterwards, just adds to the sweetness.

in conclusion, sc should’ve made maysilee his love interest. she set it up perfectly. he didn’t need to have the girlfriend back home (she was like lucy baird 2.0 like….. we’ve seen it already) when the tension with his fellow tribute served so hard. him and maysilee basically acted like parents to half the tributes like are we SEEING THIS!!!! and the story still set up effie to be his second chance at love. like the slowest of slowburnnnnn. i need ten more books on that. it’s what i deserved and what the narrative should’ve followed through with, because those relationships were the pumping heart of the book (aside from louella/loulou).