i have a lot to say but never in the right way

main blog @distantsolarsystemsandsnails she/her, 19 | header image is part of a painting by rebecca morris and pfp is by pawprints777 on instagram.

[julienbakersideblog]

new holiday alert !

[somethinginthestatic]

“There’s the expression, like, ‘a living God’. Where do you think God is living, except for embodied in other people? And how could you think there’s any higher allegiance you have to God that can’t be carried out in the way that you treat human beings?”

Happy Birthday, Julien Baker! (September 29, 1995)

[skyakafreckles]

[frisktastic]

source

[sasskarian]

I have NO IDEA what I just watched but my life has been enriched and my day has been made

[trueblueboygenius]

phoebebridgers: it is my birthday

[werewolf-transgenderism]

[distantsolarsystemsandsnails]

just a heads up: i will be gone for up to 3 months.

starting monday, i will be going to a residential program for my ocd where i will not be allowed to have my phone or use social media. i don’t know yet how long i’ll be there but it will be a while. but i’ll be back. i’m just announcing this so people know i haven’t died. i’ll miss you guys! <3

[scentedinksandwhackedseals]

^ this is my main account. i’ll miss everyone but i’ll be back eventually!

[laaanat-deactivated20220929]

These 🌹💐🌹💐💐🌸🌺🌹🌺🌷🌸💐🌺🌹🍫🌹💐🍫🍫🌹🌺🌸🌷🍫💐🌸💐🌺🌹🍫🌷🌷🌺🌸🌷🌺🌸🌺🌹🌹🌹🌷🌺🌺🌸🌺🌹🌹🌷💐🌸💐💐🌺🌹🌸💐🌸🌹🍫🍫🌺🌷🌹🍫🍫🍫 💐🌷r for my mutuals on this valentines day <3

[marisatomay]

One of my more radical beliefs is that everyone, regardless of occupation, should be required to take a first aid course at some point in their adult life so that, even if you don’t keep up the cert, if someone says to you “My chest has been really hurting and I’ve been having trouble breathing I think I’m gonna lay down for a bit” your hindbrain kicks in and you say “That’s a bad idea. We’re going to the ER.”

[lindleland]

"save me, substance abuse!" i cry. before you can moralize to me about the dangers of addiction, a noble and powerful steed gallops into the room - my horse whom i have named "substance abuse". you learn an important lesson about making assumptions. i snort a line off its back

[adeebobo]

this reminds me of me and my friend’s horse named Drugs

when i was in middle school me and my friends had a small yellow horse eraser we fondly named “drugs”. this lead to a lot of middle school tomfoolery around his name and saying shit like “Ma’am, so and so took drugs from me” and other dumb shit like that.

eventually, our english teacher, Mr. R, caught onto the joke. instead of writing us up or sending us to the principal though, he played along, making similar jokes like “(name), stop taking drugs.” “hey. you three. you need to share drugs if he’s going to be at the table.” “no drugs today, guys?” so on and so forth.

by the end of the school year it had become a very fond joke between us and this english teacher, so we decided since we were moving onto our freshman year, we decided to give our eng teacher this little yellow horse eraser.

so we go find our english teacher, Mr. R, who was setting up cornhole with our principal and other “big important people” for our 8th grade graduation party, and we hand him the little eraser.

to which he yells as loudly (and happily) as he can: “YOURE GIVING ME DRUGS?!!”

i actually went back to visit him before i left for college, and to this day he still has Drugs on his desk, and regularly tells his new students about me and my friends. ty op for reminding me about Drugs the Horse

[foldingfittedsheets]

Something that literally changed my life was working with a friend on a coding thing. He was helping me create an auto rig script and was trying to explain something to me but his words were just turning into static in my brain. I was tired and confused and there was so many new concepts happening.

I could feel myself working toward a crying meltdown and was getting preemptively ashamed of what was about to happen when he said, “Hey, are you someone who benefits from breaks?”

It broke me.

Did I benefit from breaks? I didn’t know. I’d never taken them.

When a problem frustrated or upset me I just gritted my teeth and plowed through the emotional distress because eventually if you batter and flail at something long enough you figure it out. So what if you get bruised on the way.

I viscerally remembered in that moment being forced to sit at the table late into the night with my dad screaming at me, trying to understand math. I remembered taking that with me into adulthood and having breakdowns every week trying to understand coding. I could have taken a break? Would it help? I didn’t know! I’d never taken one!

“Yes,” I told him. We paused our call. I ate lunch. I focused on other stuff for half an hour. I came back in a significantly better state of mind, and the thing he’d been trying to explain had been gently cooking in the back of my head and seemed easier to understand.

Now when I find myself gritting my teeth at problems I can hear his gentle voice asking if I benefit from breaks. Yes, dear god, yes why did I never get taught breaks? Why was the only way I knew to keep suffering until something worked?

I was relating to this same friend recently my roadtrip to the redwoods with my wife. “We stopped every hour or so to get out and stretch our legs and switch drivers. It was really nice. When I was a kid we’d just drive twelve hours straight and not stop for anything, just gas. We’d eat in the car and power through.”

He gave a wry smile, immediately connecting the mindset of my parents on a road trip to what they’d instilled in me about brute forcing through discomfort. “Do you benefit from breaks?” he echoed, drawing my attention to it, making me smile with the same sad acknowledgement.

Take breaks. You’re allowed. You don’t have to slam into problems over and over and over, let yourself rest. It will get easier. Take. Breaks.

[foldingfittedsheets]

So my girlfriend @aorryn47 and I saw a license plate today that said “4XGRACE”.

“What do you think that means?” I asked

“That they have four children. All of them are named Grace,” my girlfriend said.

I laughed really hard and added, “I think they have special tones for each Grace. They don’t use inflections that anyone else can hear, they just all know which Grace they mean but outsiders don’t.”

We riffed on this for a while before they said, “What if for outsiders they use their middle name? Like one of them is called Grace Charlie.”

I snickered and said, “Absolutely, there’s also Grace Rupert.”

“Okay, but there’s girls too!” they informed me.

“Right, so the first girl is Grace Joy,” I said and then the next name made me laugh so hard I almost couldn’t say it. Finally I choked out, “And the last one is Grace Grace.”

They bent over the steering wheel laughing when I hit them with the TKO “The family’s last name is Graceling. So her name is Grace Grace Graceling.”

They howled and finally managed to say, “Grace Charlie Graceling!”

[foldingfittedsheets]

Hey, kind of a long shot but figured it never hurts to ask:

Do any of my followers live or know someone in Oakland, CA who’s looking for a dog? Our friend Richard and his wife just had a baby and they’ve tried so hard but the new baby and dog are just not compatible.

He’s about nine, very high energy and affectionate. Not a good fit with kids or cats as he’s pretty high prey drive but very friendly and well socialized otherwise.

Here’s Milo

Shoot me a DM if interested. They’d love to be able to see him sometimes if you’d also like to make friends with some cool nerds.

[foldingfittedsheets]

This is open to anyone on the west coast or within a 12 hour drive. They’re gonna have to put him down this week if they can’t place him and he’s got several good years left!

[foldingfittedsheets]

Hey, kind of a long shot but figured it never hurts to ask:

Do any of my followers live or know someone in Oakland, CA who’s looking for a dog? Our friend Richard and his wife just had a baby and they’ve tried so hard but the new baby and dog are just not compatible.

He’s about nine, very high energy and affectionate. Not a good fit with kids or cats as he’s pretty high prey drive but very friendly and well socialized otherwise.

Here’s Milo

Shoot me a DM if interested. They’d love to be able to see him sometimes if you’d also like to make friends with some cool nerds.

[foldingfittedsheets]

This is open to anyone on the west coast or within a 12 hour drive. They’re gonna have to put him down this week if they can’t place him and he’s got several good years left!

[foldingfittedsheets]

Hey, kind of a long shot but figured it never hurts to ask:

Do any of my followers live or know someone in Oakland, CA who’s looking for a dog? Our friend Richard and his wife just had a baby and they’ve tried so hard but the new baby and dog are just not compatible.

He’s about nine, very high energy and affectionate. Not a good fit with kids or cats as he’s pretty high prey drive but very friendly and well socialized otherwise.

Here’s Milo

Shoot me a DM if interested. They’d love to be able to see him sometimes if you’d also like to make friends with some cool nerds.

[foldingfittedsheets]

This is open to anyone on the west coast or within a 12 hour drive. They’re gonna have to put him down this week if they can’t place him and he’s got several good years left!

[foldingfittedsheets]

Hey, kind of a long shot but figured it never hurts to ask:

Do any of my followers live or know someone in Oakland, CA who’s looking for a dog? Our friend Richard and his wife just had a baby and they’ve tried so hard but the new baby and dog are just not compatible.

He’s about nine, very high energy and affectionate. Not a good fit with kids or cats as he’s pretty high prey drive but very friendly and well socialized otherwise.

Here’s Milo

Shoot me a DM if interested. They’d love to be able to see him sometimes if you’d also like to make friends with some cool nerds.

[foldingfittedsheets]

This is open to anyone on the west coast or within a 12 hour drive. They’re gonna have to put him down this week if they can’t place him and he’s got several good years left!

[foldingfittedsheets]

Hey, kind of a long shot but figured it never hurts to ask:

Do any of my followers live or know someone in Oakland, CA who’s looking for a dog? Our friend Richard and his wife just had a baby and they’ve tried so hard but the new baby and dog are just not compatible.

He’s about nine, very high energy and affectionate. Not a good fit with kids or cats as he’s pretty high prey drive but very friendly and well socialized otherwise.

Here’s Milo

Shoot me a DM if interested. They’d love to be able to see him sometimes if you’d also like to make friends with some cool nerds.

[foldingfittedsheets]

This is open to anyone on the west coast or within a 12 hour drive. They’re gonna have to put him down this week if they can’t place him and he’s got several good years left!

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

Scars? Not body horror. Limb differences? Not body horror. Facial differences? Not body horror. Feeding tubes, colostomy bags, etc? Not body horror. Movement disorders? Not body horror. Visibly disabled people just existing is not horror.