there was something in goldie that hated the shock in abilene's voice when the blonde confessed she hadn't kissed naim. "no." she responded, venom in her voice at the unsaid accusation. or at least that's how it felt. "first of all, he's sheps brother. that's just weird. and if i knew i was going to be datin' luke when it came time to do seven minutes, i would've sat it out." she looked down at her hands then, softly scratching at her fingers. "i've been cheated on. a lot. so i have rules. and the main one is when i'm with someone, i'm not with anyone else. i know i hook up with a lot of people, but that's only when im single. i love sex. i'm not gonna stop having it." she knew there were people out there that had two, three, even four partners at a time. and if that worked for them, fine. but she wanted all consuming love. she wanted to be someone's world. "did you play?" goldie wondered, unable to keep track how many people did and did not go in a closet that night.
goldie could tell abilene wasn't exactly being truthful when she said nothing was going on with her, which caused the blonde to playfully tease, "i don't think god's a fan of liars." when abilene did open up, though, goldie listened before offering some kind of advice. "i just don't think some of the team are used to listening to anyone but coach or cece. ya know? but it's super amazing you came in with a vision and you're so dedicated to the cheerios already." sure goldie felt like abi was intense, but they needed that, didn't they? "personally i'm just tired of everyone fightin' with each other. it's stressing me out." it's why she'd been quiet in both the cheerios and the glee club group chats lately.
thoughts of feuding teammates were in one ear and out the other though, when abilene started recapping her weeks. "wait, so are you still with bear? and why'd you kiss hollis and not him? actually what the heck was dating bear even like? he seems... weird. also hot devil?! tell me all the deets." it was fun to gab like this with abilene. for the longest time goldie just saw her as a judgemental, repressed girl. but maybe she was just conflicted with her desires because the people in her life told her she was wrong for having them.
when the conversation was turned back to her, goldie let out a deep sign and put her head in her hands. "ugh, abi. can this please stay between us?" she hadn't even told cece yet, which was huge. turning towards abi, goldie took her hands. "i really like shep. like, a lot. we've been hooking up randomly over the years and i when it first started i had a huge crush, so when he asked me out it was like... well duh. obviously i'm gonna say yes. and he's been so sweet. he takes care of me, and it's easy, ya know? to just be around him and talk to him. but," her shoulders sagged as she sighed. "it's like every freakin' boy in this school suddenly has eyes. brooks kept saying stuff at halloween and i know he was checking me out, which he's never done before. and wyatt kissed me in the steam room like a day before shep asked me out. and cillian's just mad i'm not an option anymore... like what the fuck?" goldie let out a huff and then she was pulling away from abi, curling in on herself.
"also i can't help but feel like shep's keepin' something from me. you've seen him right? he was beat to shit recently. and he said it happened at a bar, but why would anyone even do that to him? and then i saw him giving noemi a birthday present, and i didn't even know they talked. and she told me they used to hook up so like... what's goin' on?" she felt a small tear pool at the corner of her eye and she quickly wiped it away. "sorry, i shouldn't be botherin' you with all of this. you wanted fun gossip."