Mary

Insta- @/maryschimanski i smoke too much weed

[stilllifequickheart]

Giovanna Garzoni

A Bitch

1648

[railroadsoftware]

this is iconic

[factfiend]

Fun fact: According to Greek legend there was a famous prostitute who managed to avoid a death sentence by showing the judges her boobs and arguing that it would be a crime against the Gods to destroy something so beautiful. 

Before you ask, yes there are paintings of this. And yes, they’re amazing.

Read more.

[karlosmadera-deactivated2019022]

I love history.

[bipolarbulgogi]

Role models tho.

[blackwoolncrown]

[barcoque]

The gay one

[suzie-guru]

No, but this is one of my absolute favorite bits of history! 

The courtesan named was named Phryne and she was indeed a renowned beauty, and was indeed was put on trial for a capital crime. And yes, the sum of her defense consisted of her stripping in court (helped by her lover/defendant) and asking the jury (all males) if they were prepared to destroy this. 

But this is actually a very interesting case of Values Dissonance - the capital crime she was accused of was blasphemy. In Ancient Greek society, exceptional beauty was a sign of favor from the gods, and they took the idea that beauty indicated goodness with great seriousness. They even called their nobles Kaloi k'Agathoi, “the Beautiful and the Good.” 

So by showing off her great physical beauty, Phryne was being very clever indeed, her argument essentially being “How could I possibly commit blasphemy if the gods have given me this body?“ 

God, I adore history. 

[nationalshitpostingagency]

”If these tits are legit, you must acquit.”

[striders]

i don’t have a big toe

[striders]

of all the things for my gf to steal my phone and post this really wasn’t what i was expecting at all

[egberts]

i panicked.

[abandonedandurbex]

Amusement park in Berlin left to nature’s devices [640x480]

[kosmonin]

It was “left to nature’s devices” because the owner got caught importing a roller coaster with 180 kilos of peruvian cocaine inside it

[queernuck]

how is 180 kilos of cocaine not amusing

[liveitout]

[thosewerethe90s]

Spice World was a cinematic masterpiece and fuck you for thinking otherwise.

I mean, the effects alone in this movie are just mind-boggling

[joshanddrake]

[mrrazraz]

Bitchy Teachers: We all have one.

[wonderfulmustacios-blog]

what bothers me about this scene is not just how the teacher treats drake but the fact drake had actually READ and ENJOYED a classic novel and no one even praised him for it because i mean it’s

drake

[so-this-is-me-now]

Look at Josh’s face

He’s just like

….this bitch….

[itsagifnotagif]

Whats on your mind my dudez

[we-didnt-playtest-this-at-all]

I just saw a giant ass spider on the wall so I went to smush it with the nearest thing which was a plate but I didn’t wanna ruin my food so I used the back of the plate and all the food fell off of the plate

[kaijuno]

“What’s your spirit animal?” We’re white Rebecca we don’t have spirit animals ask me what my fursona is like you meant to ask u fucking coward

[somethingunlikeanythingelse]

This is the funniest thing ive ever seen.

[turing-tested]

dogs are incapable of sin

[ymawgat]

but not of mischief !!!

[turing-tested]

you’re right

[thebootydiaries]

[slimetony]

in 2017 we’re replacing our cerebrospinal fluid with sierra mist

[c3po]

no idea what this means

[slimetony]

lemon lime spine

[dantes-infernal-chili]

Mr. Brightside

The Killers: Now they’re going to bed, and my stomach is sick, and it’s all in my head, but she’s touching his-

Parents: *angry collective glare*

The Killers: …chest

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

this was a revelation i was ill prepared for

[schimanskimary]

what do i want more?? a dog or a boyfriend??

[realitytvshow]

[xander1137]

[the-absolute-funniest-posts]

you can have 14 pancakes or 132 there is no inbetween

[blackpyrefly]

me and my fucking wife. any questions?

[jesliey]

Yes. Several in fact.

[blackpyrefly]

[andreablog2-deactivated20220425]

Pale people cant wear adidias jackets without looking like they look like they huff gasoline in czechoslovakia

[theskabouncer]

That is exactly the look I’m going for