dragula but like schlagula

schlatt ‘fan’ or wtv the fuck they’re called secret sideblog | twenty

[pequins]

boyfriend jschlatt headcanons ── .✦

[ req open ! ]

• very clingy, (will insist he’s not) he loves physical affection in small and big ways, whether it’s a hand on your back, squeezing your thigh, crushing bear hugs or just being around you, he loves it.

• He’s not one for public displays of affection, if anything, he’ll hold your hand or give you quick pecks on the forehead or cheek.

• despite what most people think, he’s not that jealous, he’s very secure in your relationship and trusts that you both only have eyes for each other.

• overprotective however? absolutely. you’ll often have to listen to his small rants about doing things that could get you hurt; taking care of yourself or being safe when he’s not with you. even if he does the same things

• He isn't afraid to call you names or make jokes at your expense, but he’s careful to never say anything you could perceive a serious insult.

• he’s not good with words, it’s hard for him to properly express his feelings for you outside of physical contact and gifts. he’ll show his devotion through his own unique love language, just don’t expect handwritten declarations of love from the big guy.

• He’ll demand cuddles and follow you around like a lost puppy even when he's not streaming. he can’t be caught being a softie when people are watching, can he?

• He will always make sure you’re well taken care of and happy in the relationship, whether it be through his blunt kindness or little gestures. He’ll go out to buy your favorite candy or a treat in the middle of the night simply because you wanted it.

• more on nonverbal communication, he isnt good at apologizing either. if you get upset with him, he’ll go away for a few hours to let you cool off. he hopes everything will be blown over when he come back with your favorite things and a simple “im sorry”

• he struggles to sleep without you, you had to buy him a weighted blanket and body pillow for when he’s traveling because he can’t sleep without the feeling of someone sleeping on his chest/ something to squeeze.

• he loves making you food, it's one of the many ways he shows affection. He'll constantly ask if you're hungry or if you want a snack while he's in the kitchen, and when making meals for dinner. he always gives you the bigger portion no matter how much you protest.

• he definitely won’t mind you gaining weight, especially since it makes you extra squishy and cuddleable. he will always reassure you that you're beautiful to him regardless.

[dwellstar]

shut up shut up shut up shut the fuck up oh my god

[canine-writes]

Jschlatt x reader fluff headcannons

Cooking streams together like you’re baking cookies or something

“Schlatt stop eating the dough! We need to make real cookies!” You half-yell at him while chuckling

“But why this tastes so much better!” He’d respond whiningly

“You are going to have a stomach ache, you always do.” You try to lecture him but the smile on your face gives you away

And of course he does get a stomach ache

Listening or watching true crime together cuddled up on the couch speculating on who did it while you play with his hair and he tugs on the strings of your shirt

Making playlists together and listening to them all the time like while doing chores or while travelling, doesn’t matter if it’s in a car or sharing headphones on a bus

Your relationship being a secret as you’re both streamers and you have this whole act that you dislike eachother online

You are with him in bed and laying across his chest while posting mean jokes about eachother on social media and the comments are all asking if you two genuinely hate eachother or if it is a bit and you two giggle about it

But one time the both of you went too far and people started making rants about how either one of you is disrespectful or people make long video essays about your dynamic and what happened between you too that sparked this strong dislike towards eachother

So that is when you post about ‘being roommates’ and thats also where the cooking stream came from, not enough to reveal the relationship but enough to not get genuine hate

Maybe you’re both on the Qsmp and other creators on the server genuinely think you two hate eachother but close friends know about your relationship

If you’re not an American streamer you make fun of him living in the US knowing full well that you live together

Cuddling

Cuddling

Cuddling

Cuddling

Cuddling

[stargrillzz]

TRUTH OR DARE

SUMMARY: Could a simple game change the rest of your life? Short answer, yes.

NOTE: God I'm so jealous of Y/N. Kinda wrote this at night and I was really sleepy so maybe there is something misspelled or weirdly written, I'm sorry, it was late but I really wanted to public something about Damienxoxo

It all started as a joke.

You were filming another Try Not To Laugh shoot when someone—probably Shayne—brought up the idea of doing an uncensored version of Truth or Dare, just for the behind-the-scenes team. No camera filters, no PG-13 edits, just pure chaos.

Damien had looked over at you when it was mentioned, raising an eyebrow with that crooked, teasing smile that always made your stomach flip. "Uncensored?" he repeated. "Y/N would destroy us all."

You only smirked. “Oh, I’m already making a list of dares.”

By the time evening rolled around, the crew cleared a corner of the set, dimmed the lights for dramatic effect, and gathered pillows, drinks, and a whiteboard with "TRUTH OR DARE: UNCENSORED" scribbled on it like some sort of summoning ritual. Everyone was hyped—maybe a little tipsy—and Damien had taken a seat beside you, casually slouching with a red solo cup in hand.

You tried to act casual too. Tried.

The game starts out harmless.

"Truth or dare, Shayne?" someone calls out.

“Dare,” he says, grinning like a feral gremlin.

“Send a flirty voice note to Courtney. Right now.”

Laughter erupts as Shayne does a stupid sexy whisper into his phone. It gets worse. Next round, Olivia has to give Noah a five-second lap dance. Keith gets dared to lick hot sauce off someone’s finger (which he does way too dramatically), and Ian—God bless him—is asked how many people he’s kissed on set. The real ones know.

Then it’s your turn.

Shayne smirks like he’s been waiting for this. “Y/N. Dare.”

You cross your arms, chin up. “Hit me.”

He nods at the whiteboard. “Pick a lap of the opposite gender to sit on—for the rest of the game.”

The room erupts in cheers and whistles. You pretend to groan, but inside? You’re already burning up. You scan the room slowly, taking your time like you’re actually considering options. Keith wiggles his eyebrows. Noah pats his knees.

But your eyes lock on Damien, who raises one brow, his lip tugged up into a smirk—but he doesn’t say anything. Just meets your stare and opens his arms a little.

“C’mon,” he says. “I’m comfy.”

“Mm. We’ll see.”

With dramatic flair, you stand and walk slowly, milking every second of suspense while the group yells out guesses. You pass by Ian. Then Noah. Then—

You plop down onto Damien’s lap, sideways at first, legs swinging over his, one arm resting lazily around his shoulders.

The room loses it.

“CALLED IT!” Olivia screams.

You laugh, heart pounding. Damien’s hands go to your waist—secure, confident, like he’s done this before. “You sure you’re comfy?” you tease.

“I’m just wondering why you didn’t do this three months ago,” he murmurs low enough that only you hear.

Your breath catches. “What?”

“Nothing,” he shrugs, but there’s mischief in his eyes. And maybe a little something more.

“Truth or dare, Damien?” Shayne leers.

“Dare,” Damien replies, tapping your knee.

“Whisper something dirty in Y/N’s ear.”

You freeze.

The room oohs, but Damien leans in, mouth brushing your ear. His voice is deep, quiet, low enough to make your skin tingle.

“I could list ten things I want to do to you right now, but they’d all make you blush in front of your friends.”

You do blush—so hard that Keith throws a pillow at you. “What the hell did he say?!”

You laugh it off, hiding your face in Damien’s shoulder while he just smiles innocently.

Then it's your turn again.

“Noah,” you say. “Truth.”

He grins. “Bring it.”

You smirk. “Have you ever fantasized about someone in this room?”

Noah goes beet red. “I hate you.”

“Name. Names,” Shayne chants.

“Okay okay—fine. I had a dream about Damien once. He was wearing a cape. Don’t ask.”

The room explodes again, but you glance at Damien and see his smirk twitch.

“Popular guy,” you whisper.

“Jealous?” he murmurs, teasing.

You roll your eyes, but you don’t deny it.

A few rounds later, Ian has to give someone a hickey (he backs out, screaming). Olivia has to describe her ideal kiss with someone in the room, while making eye contact. Shayne dares Noah to act out his most sinful fantasy—with props. The crew is losing it.

But you’re still in Damien’s lap.

He’s got one hand on your thigh now. You’re both quieter, more tense. There’s laughter around you, but your body is way too aware of his—how warm he is, how close, how his hand keeps drifting higher when he laughs.

Then someone dares you again.

“Y/N,” Olivia grins devilishly, “kiss the person you’re sitting on.”

The room howls before you even react.

You turn toward Damien, but his expression’s unreadable. "Only if you want to," he says softly, serious this time.

You lean in, brush your nose against his, and whisper, “About damn time.”

The kiss is slow. Confident. Hot.

The crew screams, pillows fly again, but you don’t even care. His hand slips into your hair and your fingers curl around his collar. It’s one of those kisses you’ve both wanted for months—but never admitted out loud.

When you pull back, you're both a little breathless.

“I should sit on your lap more often,” you murmur.

“You better,” Damien says, brushing your cheek with his thumb.

The next day, the video—yes, someone definitely filmed it—gets posted under the title: “UNCENSORED SMOSH TRUTH OR DARE | TOO HOT FOR YOUTUBE”

The comments are chaos.

"THEY KISSED ON CAMERA WHAT THE HELL" "Love the loser nerd and hottest girl cliché. It’s giving romcom." "Damien bagged THEE Y/N. I’m sweating." "Someone check on Shayne, he looks like a betrayed ex."

You pretend to be embarrassed, but secretly? You’re grinning at your phone. Especially when Damien texts you:

Damien:

They’re calling you the hottest girl and me a nerd. So… wanna kiss again, hot girl?

You type back:

Only if I can sit on your lap again, loser.

[tragicbutpretty]

Just imagine him talking you through it, The “good, good” IM F*CKING LOSING IT 😩

[schlagula]

oh my sweet lord in hell 😵‍💫

[tragicbutpretty]

Damien hitting this pose pt.1 🥵

[schlagula]

i need him carnally

[stargrillzz]

TRUTH OR DARE

SUMMARY: Could a simple game change the rest of your life? Short answer, yes.

NOTE: God I'm so jealous of Y/N. Kinda wrote this at night and I was really sleepy so maybe there is something misspelled or weirdly written, I'm sorry, it was late but I really wanted to public something about Damienxoxo

It all started as a joke.

You were filming another Try Not To Laugh shoot when someone—probably Shayne—brought up the idea of doing an uncensored version of Truth or Dare, just for the behind-the-scenes team. No camera filters, no PG-13 edits, just pure chaos.

Damien had looked over at you when it was mentioned, raising an eyebrow with that crooked, teasing smile that always made your stomach flip. "Uncensored?" he repeated. "Y/N would destroy us all."

You only smirked. “Oh, I’m already making a list of dares.”

By the time evening rolled around, the crew cleared a corner of the set, dimmed the lights for dramatic effect, and gathered pillows, drinks, and a whiteboard with "TRUTH OR DARE: UNCENSORED" scribbled on it like some sort of summoning ritual. Everyone was hyped—maybe a little tipsy—and Damien had taken a seat beside you, casually slouching with a red solo cup in hand.

You tried to act casual too. Tried.

The game starts out harmless.

"Truth or dare, Shayne?" someone calls out.

“Dare,” he says, grinning like a feral gremlin.

“Send a flirty voice note to Courtney. Right now.”

Laughter erupts as Shayne does a stupid sexy whisper into his phone. It gets worse. Next round, Olivia has to give Noah a five-second lap dance. Keith gets dared to lick hot sauce off someone’s finger (which he does way too dramatically), and Ian—God bless him—is asked how many people he’s kissed on set. The real ones know.

Then it’s your turn.

Shayne smirks like he’s been waiting for this. “Y/N. Dare.”

You cross your arms, chin up. “Hit me.”

He nods at the whiteboard. “Pick a lap of the opposite gender to sit on—for the rest of the game.”

The room erupts in cheers and whistles. You pretend to groan, but inside? You’re already burning up. You scan the room slowly, taking your time like you’re actually considering options. Keith wiggles his eyebrows. Noah pats his knees.

But your eyes lock on Damien, who raises one brow, his lip tugged up into a smirk—but he doesn’t say anything. Just meets your stare and opens his arms a little.

“C’mon,” he says. “I’m comfy.”

“Mm. We’ll see.”

With dramatic flair, you stand and walk slowly, milking every second of suspense while the group yells out guesses. You pass by Ian. Then Noah. Then—

You plop down onto Damien’s lap, sideways at first, legs swinging over his, one arm resting lazily around his shoulders.

The room loses it.

“CALLED IT!” Olivia screams.

You laugh, heart pounding. Damien’s hands go to your waist—secure, confident, like he’s done this before. “You sure you’re comfy?” you tease.

“I’m just wondering why you didn’t do this three months ago,” he murmurs low enough that only you hear.

Your breath catches. “What?”

“Nothing,” he shrugs, but there’s mischief in his eyes. And maybe a little something more.

“Truth or dare, Damien?” Shayne leers.

“Dare,” Damien replies, tapping your knee.

“Whisper something dirty in Y/N’s ear.”

You freeze.

The room oohs, but Damien leans in, mouth brushing your ear. His voice is deep, quiet, low enough to make your skin tingle.

“I could list ten things I want to do to you right now, but they’d all make you blush in front of your friends.”

You do blush—so hard that Keith throws a pillow at you. “What the hell did he say?!”

You laugh it off, hiding your face in Damien’s shoulder while he just smiles innocently.

Then it's your turn again.

“Noah,” you say. “Truth.”

He grins. “Bring it.”

You smirk. “Have you ever fantasized about someone in this room?”

Noah goes beet red. “I hate you.”

“Name. Names,” Shayne chants.

“Okay okay—fine. I had a dream about Damien once. He was wearing a cape. Don’t ask.”

The room explodes again, but you glance at Damien and see his smirk twitch.

“Popular guy,” you whisper.

“Jealous?” he murmurs, teasing.

You roll your eyes, but you don’t deny it.

A few rounds later, Ian has to give someone a hickey (he backs out, screaming). Olivia has to describe her ideal kiss with someone in the room, while making eye contact. Shayne dares Noah to act out his most sinful fantasy—with props. The crew is losing it.

But you’re still in Damien’s lap.

He’s got one hand on your thigh now. You’re both quieter, more tense. There’s laughter around you, but your body is way too aware of his—how warm he is, how close, how his hand keeps drifting higher when he laughs.

Then someone dares you again.

“Y/N,” Olivia grins devilishly, “kiss the person you’re sitting on.”

The room howls before you even react.

You turn toward Damien, but his expression’s unreadable. "Only if you want to," he says softly, serious this time.

You lean in, brush your nose against his, and whisper, “About damn time.”

The kiss is slow. Confident. Hot.

The crew screams, pillows fly again, but you don’t even care. His hand slips into your hair and your fingers curl around his collar. It’s one of those kisses you’ve both wanted for months—but never admitted out loud.

When you pull back, you're both a little breathless.

“I should sit on your lap more often,” you murmur.

“You better,” Damien says, brushing your cheek with his thumb.

The next day, the video—yes, someone definitely filmed it—gets posted under the title: “UNCENSORED SMOSH TRUTH OR DARE | TOO HOT FOR YOUTUBE”

The comments are chaos.

"THEY KISSED ON CAMERA WHAT THE HELL" "Love the loser nerd and hottest girl cliché. It’s giving romcom." "Damien bagged THEE Y/N. I’m sweating." "Someone check on Shayne, he looks like a betrayed ex."

You pretend to be embarrassed, but secretly? You’re grinning at your phone. Especially when Damien texts you:

Damien:

They’re calling you the hottest girl and me a nerd. So… wanna kiss again, hot girl?

You type back:

Only if I can sit on your lap again, loser.

[hyunnie-beee]

💋Roxie Hart 👠 Masterlist

-Chuckle Sandwich x Reader

Pairings: Ted Nivison x reader, Jschlatt x reader, Charlie (Slimecicle) x reader

Synopsis: You’re back home after your first year at UCLA with one goal in mind: Return in the fall as the undeniable star of the theater program. Confident. Magnetic. Unforgettable. Step one? Live the part all summer long.

It just so happens your three best friends each have very attractive older brothers. And their attention? Well… that could help you a lot. That’s your excuse, anyway.

Ted should be the easy one, he’s the boy you never really got over, the one with history written into your bones. But your heart might not be ready to risk that again. Schlatt keeps circling with sharp eyes and sharper comments, turning your little act into a game of cat and mouse (you’re just not sure who’s chasing who.) And Charlie? He’s a lovesick puppy every time you so much as blink in his direction. Everything’s going according to plan. Until it’s not. Because some roles cut too close. Some pasts don’t stay buried. And this summer? Might just write a whole new script you didn’t see coming.

Genre: College AU (?), Summer Romance, Love Triangle (or square?), Friends-to-Lovers, Exes with Unfinished Business, Enemies-to-???, Feminine Rage.

UPDATE SCHEDULE: Wednesday

CH. 1 - Home Sour Home. chapter length- (5.9k)

CH. 2 - Before Fall Leaves Pt. 1 chapter length- (4.2k)

CH. 3 - Before Fall Leaves Pt. 2 chapter length- (5.5k)

CH. 4 - They Both Reached For The Gun chapter length- (4.3k)

CH. 5 - Funny Honey chapter length- (4.5k)

deleted scene?

CH. 6 - All I Care About Is Me Love chapter length- (5.3k-ish)

CH. 6 - All I Care About Is Me Love (18+) chapter length- (5.3k)

CH. 7 - Cell Block Tango chapter length - (6.1k)

CH. 8 - Razzle Dazzle chapter length - (5.4k)

CH. 9 - Isn't it Grand? chapter length - ( 8.4k)

CH. 10 - The Name On Everyboy's Lips chapter length - (7.2k)

CH. 10 - The Name On Everyboy's Lips(18+) chapter length - (9.3k)

CH. 11 - That's Showbiz, Baby chapter length - (2.4k)

CHARACTER PLAYLISTS

Ted

Charlie

Schlatt

[bunnie-online]

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆day seven: mommy kink⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

day seven of kinktober: someone needs to learn a lesson. 🧸

WARNINGS: NSFW 18+ ONLY || fem!Reader || sub!Schlatt || mommy kink || punishment || overstim.

‿̩͙⊱༒︎༻♱༺༒︎⊰‿̩͙

“Honey?” you called out for your boyfriend, you were wondering how he was holding up in the short time you stepped out to grab snacks

you made your way to your shared bedroom, as you got closer the whines got louder. you opened the door to find your boyfriend exactly where you left him. tied to your bed with a vibrator strapped to his cock.

“How ya doin’, pretty boy?” you coo, he only whines in response. his cock is still red and he has a pool of cum on his stomach. you saunter to his side to plant a kiss on his forehead.

“M-Mommy…” he nearly sobs. “Break..please..” his voice was strained and pathetic. you decided to take pity on him and turn off the toy for now. he took the first deep breath he’s taken in a while as tears of relief brim his eyes.

“Have you learned your lesson, baby?” your tone was strict as your gripped his jaw to force eye contact. he nodded furiously, a few more tears flowing down the sides of his face. “Yes! Yes… i won’t do it again, I promise!”

“What won’t you do again, J?” you squish his face a little harder, enough to make him wince a little. “Cum without permission…I won’t ever cum without your permission again!”

“Good boy.”

‿̩͙⊱༒︎༻♱༺༒︎⊰‿̩͙

[ineffectualintellectual]

Tip of the Tongue

| Schlatt x Fem!reader |

Summary: Schlatt has the lucky misfortune of scoring a messy FWB situation with the one girl he craves to be steady with.

Word count: 1.3k

Warnings: angst, swearing, miscommunication, reader is a cheater, morally grey reader, minors dni, 18+, rpf

divider cred: @uzmacchiato ✦ masterlist

There's a few things that's happened to Schlatt that wouldn't have happened to the ordinary person.

He became rich and famous before 25. He owned a company and multiple properties before 30. And he was in a "friends with benefits" situation with the love of his life.

You entered Schlatt's life right before the glitz and glamour of Internet stardom had jaded him. Back when he was a young man filled with so much promise, so many aspirations. As Schlatt grew more successful, you became his anchor to the normalcy he craved more and more. Schlatt enjoyed hearing about your average day. The lull of college, the drab of work, even (begrudgingly) the ups and downs of your dating life. It wasn't hard to fall in love with you, his precious little window into what a different life would've been like. How couldn't he? After so many nights of watching old Hollywood movies, over nerding out about old camcorders? The real nail in the coffin came after he hit his 1 million subscriber milestone. You showed up, unannounced, with a shitty little Walmart cake you spruced up. The cake was demarcated with a poorly written "HaPy 1mil" in bright red frosting.

"You know there's two 'p's in 'happy' right?"

"I know dipshit. It didn't fit."

"I bet I could've done better."

"You ungrateful bastard!"

He nearly keeled over from laughing so hard at the poor little cake. But as you served him a slice, you gave him a shy smile. A smile he's never seen since then, but one he's dreamt about often. That's when he stumbled into love. It's been a brutal downhill ever since.

But you were too special to ruin. His work corrupted so much already. It was nearly impossible to go out in public without being recognized. Every single interaction he had with a girl on stream was scrutinized to no end by his chat. Schlatt could barely tolerate this kind of life for himself. How could he ever condemn you, the one precious thing he had in his life, to it? …Right?

The first time was in October. You came over after another shitty date with your shitty boyfriend to find comfort in Schlatt's couch and fridge. He's gotten rather used to this particular song and dance. You would come over, find yourself a spot on his couch to mindlessly watch T.V. and eat copious amounts of his ice cream. After spending a sufficient amount of time of working, Schlatt would join you. Hold your head on his shoulder as you sputtered out everything that was wrong.

But this time was different.

This time you didn't leave after the hour long rant. Instead, you opted to curl your body further into his. This time he took the risk of sliding his fingers to rest on your hip. Platonic cuddling quickly fell off a horny precipice into tangled, messy kissing. In hindsight, Schlatt couldn't remember for certain who was it that initiated the kiss. Or who led who into his bedroom. The only thing that remains crystal clear to him now was he how felt.

Greedy. Lustful. A bit of healthy Catholic shame. Worried.

Every kiss an opportunity, every moan a fulfillment of a long awaited gratification. As he rutted into you, Schlatt couldn't care less that he was helping you cheat. Hell, the piece of shit probably deserved it. All he as concerned about was exploring whatever mess you started. Reaping whatever it is you both had begun to sow.

You left in the morning. No note, leftover coffee in the pot. Schlatt would've been convinced it was a fever dream had you not come over the following weekend to do it all over again. You appeared like clockwork. Sparing no time for awkwardness, you rushed to pull him into another kiss, barely bothering to close his door. It was embarrassing to him how easy he was for you. All it took was a flutter of your eyelashes or even just a whiff of your perfume for him to get hard and ready to make you forget all about Whatshisname.

For a few hours every Friday night, you were his and he was yours. But the next morning, without fail, you'd leave your side of the bed. Put some coffee on for him before catching the subway back to your normal life.

Schlatt's constantly thinks about finding ways of asking you to stay. Even considered locking you in to prevent your early morning getaway. But it always felt too wrong. Funny. As if what you both were doing had any ounce of right. The first few times, Schlatt tried to convince himself that he was okay with this arrangement. You were using him as an escape now as much as he's used you as one before. In a way, this whole arrangement was just settling the score. When you get your fill someday, everything will be equal, no debt will loom over either one of you. You can finally be equitable friends.

That was until one night in December. It was raining all week in New York. You showed up to his front door, punctual despite the weather. Soaked in two ways. He opened the door, casual as usual. Slamming it behind you, you pulled on his collar for a kiss. Rain droplets from your hair trickled down to interlocked lips. The wetness threw him off guard for a moment.

"Jesus, you couldn't take a cab?" Schlatt muttered against your neck, fingers fumbling your jeans zipper.

"I don't like being late for this." You replied, peeling off his shirt.

That was the first moment Schlatt figured he should hope for more. Fight for more. In a change from casual usual, he picked you up bridal style. Carried you over to the couch from the first time. Pinned your small hands over your head with just one of his.

"Say you want me."

It wasn't a plea as much as a fact of life. He was lined up at your entrance, unwilling to fulfill until you obeyed.

"Fuck me. Please." You whined, writhing in desire.

Schlatt held you steady. Hands unflinching, will intact.

"Say you want me."

He lowered the tip, just barely enough to build more anticipation. Who knew a dick could feel like a promissory note?

"I…ah!" You bit your lip. You took a moment to look up at the man staring down at you so intensely. Hardened features you've seen countless times, both in person and on other people's screens. People call him an asshole, a brute, a dickhead. But he looks so soft to you right now, despite the fact he's pressing his dick against you like a sawed off shotgun. He still looks so tender.

"I want you." Your voice was resolute, determined.

Hips rise to meet the closure of distance. Schlatt finally relented. He let you come four times that night.

Schlatt figured you just needed time to find the best way to break up with your boyfriend. Just needed to find the right words, the right day. But Fridays came and went. Months flew by. And you were still posting couple pictures on your Instagram stories, still liking that shit face's comments under your posts. It was agony, pure agony. Schlatt found himself fantasizing about telling the poor guy himself. But he knew the kind of scandal that could create, the Try Guys wife guy situation was barely cold.

But every Friday, like water to the needy, you appeared. Every Friday, he pulled you into his apartment, desperate for you. Kissed you like nothing mattered, fucked you like it was his destiny. He could wait how ever more Fridays you needed to dump that soggy excuse of a boyfriend, just as long as he can live out that purgatory in between your legs.

[nymphomaniaa]

oh my GOD… WEAPONPLAY???? can we get a preview PLEASE. PLEASE. JUST A CRUMB. I RARELY EVER SEE WEAPONPLAY FICS THAT I ACTUALLY LIKE AND I JUST KNOW YOUR WRITING WILL HIT IT OUT OF THE PARK

well, since you asked so nicely! here’s a crumb.

warnings: nsfw gunplay but nothing very explicit

Schlatt hesitates as his gun reaches your jawbone. He wished he could take a photo of the moment he was about to recreate from your fantasy, because off of imagination alone, the way you had described it to him earlier was beyond hot. Now, he was staring down at you, the tip of the barrel just barely kissing your closed lips, intrigued by the glimmer in your eye that is screaming want. You involuntarily let out a quiet whimper as he applies a little bit of pressure on your bottom lip with the metal. His own lips quiver with anticipation. He has so much power over you. It’s beautifully terrifying.

“Open,” he commands, his eyes staring down at you like an owner looking at his pet. When you pretend to shake your head in fear, he furrows his eyebrows. “What, you scared? Don’t make me show you something really scary. Now, open.”

You knit your eyebrows as you shyly shake your head again. There is complete silence as he blinks slowly. He doesn’t seem too pleased with your response to his demand.

A sharp click! from the gun pointed directly towards your mouth reverberates through your skin when Schlatt switches the safety off. Or on. You can’t really tell, but all you know is that he has forced you to press your torso closer to his as he towers above you, practically bending you backwards so he maintains the greater physical advantage over you.

“Scary enough for you now, sweetheart?” he cockily mutters. “Now, let me see that pretty tongue of yours, or I’ll just shoot right through it.”

He gives you a snarky grin, almost like he has just had an epiphany, but never releases his intense stare. “Ah, but we wouldn’t want to leave a mess like that in the very room your boyfriend sleeps in, now would we? You’re better than that, right? Can you be good for me?”

[dwellstar]

hiii you’ve probably alr written this but can you write munch!schlatt with an inexperienced reader…like has never done that kind of thing and is lowkey embarrassed for him to see her like that

uhhh YES this is amazing

mdni 18+

—

“jus lay back, sweetheart,” schlatt mumbles.

you do as he says, feeling his calloused hands shimmy your shorts down your thighs.

he gently spreads your legs open, clothed pussy staring at him.

“not gonna do anything crazy, ok? jus gonna make you feel good.”

you gasp when you feel his mouth graze the skin of your inner thigh. he’s nibbling a small hickey there, the sensation of his teeth makes your back arch off the bed.

you two started dating very recently. the conversation of sexual desires happened soon after, with schlatt letting you know his fantasies. when he asked you, you became shy.

“what’s wrong?” he asked.

through an embarassed smile, you confess, “schlatt, i havn’t even gotten head before.”

that was yesterday.

now, his mouth moves to the panties that are covering your center. he notices the dark spot forming over your hole and he smirks.

he presses his nose against you and inhales.

“so sweet,” he groans, “are you ready?”

you nod your head.

he’s quick to hooking his fingers under either side of your panties to slide them down your legs. you don’t notice but he’s tucked them into his back pocket.

his face is hovering over your clit, eyes looking up at you. he’s watching your breasts rise and fall with nervous breaths.

“relax,” he commands.

he finds one of your hands and interlocks your fingers. then, he licks a long stripe from your entrance all the way up to your clit.

your eyes flutter shut as a beautiful moan escapes your lips, hand tightening around his.

schlatt’s proud of himself already.

his lips latch to your sensitive bud and suckles softly.

you’ve never felt this sensation: the sharp bolts of pleasure that pulsate through your body.

one of his arms is wrapped over the top of your hips to keep you steady. his free hand lets go of yours and slides down by his chin.

he puts his attention to your hole. the tip of his tongue traces little circles around it before he gently slips it inside.

his skilled tongue massages your inner walls, making them clench against him.

“oh fuck,” you grunt.

he replaces his muscle with his middle finger and slowly draws it in and out of you.

“taste so good,” he praises.

you try to writhe your hips but his arm across your bottom half is pinning you firmly.

he sees your desperation and pays his attention back to your throbbing clit. he presses his tongue flat against it with just the right amount of pressure.

your hands find the sheets beneath you and grip until your knuckles turn white.

your thighs begin to shake around schlatt’s head.

when the tip of his tongue starts to spell his name, you feel something powerful brew inside you.

to describe it is almost impossible, but it feels like a soft, glowing bubble growing in your stomach. each drag of his tongue causes the bubble to swell.

“schlatt…i-“

you feel that bubble pop, letting its contents of pure euphoria spill and infiltrate your whole body. your limbs feel weak, your head spins slightly and you’re making noises you’ve never made before.

strangled cries of pleasure and muffled curses crawl out from the back of your throat.

“i know, baby, i know,” schlatt whispers, his middle finger pumping through your spasming cunt.

when you’ve calmed down, he pulls his finger out and puts it in front of your lips.

“wanna taste?” he asks.

you open your mouth and clean your sweet, tangy arousal from schlatt’s digit. you see his chin glistening with the same substance.

“can’t believe no one’s ever done that for you,” he says.

“i can’t believe you’re so good at it!”

[squinch-depraved]

schlatt waking you up and using you however he wants (ib an irl experience kinda?? also first fic i've shared let's gooo sorry it's so short and possibly bad i wanted to get my first real post out on his birthday 😔) (shaking crying scared throwing up pls be nice to me)

you weren't sure when exactly you woke up. maybe it was when the door first creaked open and shut, quickly and quietly. maybe somewhere in the next few stagnant silent seconds in which he seemed to contemplate what he was doing, his broad frame pausing in front of the exit just long enough to think, fuck it, before his footsteps led him to the side of your bed. maybe it was when you felt his cock on your face and heard, "smile, toots," just to open your eyes to a bright flash. he was sitting on you now, pinning you down and smacking his throbbing shaft all over your face. a small whimper forces its way past your lips and he laughs.

"j, 'm so tired," you whine.

"you're the one who said i could use you whenever." he grips your chin in one hand when you try to turn away.

"didn't say you could take pictures," you retort, grabbing a pillow and hiding under it.

"needed something for when we're apart. now stop fuckin' talking, or i'm gonna ruin you even worse than i already plan to." the pillow is thrown off the bed before he's even done speaking. "and don't hide this pretty little face when i'm lookin' at it." he pauses for a moment, and then spits on your face. it's humiliating. it's pathetic. but it makes you so, so wet. and he can tell.

he throws your blanket somewhere, and you sigh because you know once he's done with you you'll have to get out of bed to go get it again. unimportant and worth it compared to what's about to happen. a grin lights up his face when he notices you aren't wearing anything but one of his sweaters.

"fuck, doll," he breathes. "were you expecting this or somethin'?" dipping his finger into your slick and bringing it to his mouth, he groans. "never mind, i don't fucking care, just- ugh, just keep lookin' pretty while i use you like the stupid toy you are."

you squeal as he slides himself between your legs and wastes no time slamming himself into you.

"god, toots, slid in so easily, huh? you that wet for me?"

he snickers when you can't say anything back, too sleepy and delirious from his dick to manage a reply. one hand comes up to wrap around your throat while the other holds himself steady as he pounds into you at a relentless pace. what was, before this, a quiet bedroom, is now a dark, echoey chamber of moans and grunts, skin on skin sounds bouncing off the wooden furniture and slate grey walls. pleasure dances through your limbs, settling as an ever-building burning deep in your core. you try to speak with his hand still around your neck.

"j, 'm gonna-"

"i don't care, y/n, either come on my cock or don't but shut up," he pants.

and so you do. you come undone, digging your nails into his back through his sweater. a few moments later, he speeds up a bit and grunts, burying his face into your neck and spilling a rather large load into you. you both stay there for a few minutes, content and unsure of what to say. finally, he looks up at you and smiles slightly.

"sorry. i, uh. i just needed. that," he mumbles. you pet his hair and kiss his forehead.

"get the fuck off me so i can clean up and sleep."

[bunnie-online]

⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆day four: size kink.⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺

‿̩͙⊱༒︎༻♱༺༒︎⊰‿̩͙

day four of kinktober! halfway through the first week, doll. how ya feelin? small and needy? don’t worry…you can take it. 😇

WARNINGS: NSFW 18+. || fem!Reader || sub!Reader x dom!Schlatt || size kink || light dacryphilla || implied short!Reader but Schlatt’s a big dude, anyone looks small compared to him.

‿̩͙⊱༒︎༻♱༺༒︎⊰‿̩͙

“D’ya like how I can hold you down with just one hand?” was all your heard though the haze of your cock-drunk stupor. Schlatt’s, very large, hand was flat in between the valley of your tits, pressing you into the mattress.

his other hand was on the headboard, truly enveloping you. you genuinely looked so tiny under him. and you felt tiny too.

not to mention his huge cock drilling into you, practically tearing you open in the most pleasurable way possible.

“Fuck you’re so- small compared to me.” and he was right, he towered over you. completely eclipsed you all the time, not only when you were lying on your back on display for him. but all the time.

walking next to each other, you sitting in his lap, him tossing you over his shoulder with ease. you were nearly minuscule compared to him.

he wrapped his hands under your legs and tucked them behind your knees to fold you in half, making you even easier to manipulate. the only noises you could muster were pathetic whimpers as he pounded into you, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix with every thrust.

“So fuckin’ small. So easy t’use.” he babbled. your moans quickly turned into cries of pleasure, hot tears poured out of your eyes and down your face.

“Aww, sweetheart. You can take it. S’okay, babydoll.” he cooed, though his wolffish grin didn’t match the tenderness of his words.

‿̩͙⊱༒︎༻♱༺༒︎⊰‿̩͙

[dwellstar]

who doesn't love weddings?

mdni 18+

summary: you are a bridesmaid for shae while schlatt is a groomsmen for ted and you both had too much to drink

from lila: inspired by an idea i had but also by anon who requested: "fic of schlatt drunk fucking in a car..."

tw: afab reader, no use of y/n, praise kink, slightly dom! reader, whiny!sub! schlatt, mentions of alcohol use, car sex, unprotected sex, hand stuff, biting, name-calling (sweetheart, baby, good boy, ma'am), cowgirl

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

you were in line before the ceremony, filed behind the other bridesmaids and next to a row of groomsmen.

the man escorting you down the aisle was schlatt...how convenient.

ted was more than aware of how attracted you were to him, so when you joined the "i do crew," he just knew he had to pair the two of you up.

he held his arm out for you to hold before it was your turn to walk down the aisle.

"i don't bite," he grins at you.

you return an awkward smile as you slip your hand into the crook of his elbow and hold onto his forearm.

you can feel his taught muscle through his suit. when your finger tips gripped onto his arm, you felt him shift and clear his throat.

you two went down the aisle with no problems.

however, you couldn't help but send sneaky glances toward him for the rest of the ceremony.

--

the sun shone down on the ceremony, illuminating ted and shae on their altar.

she was a vision in white, tears welling at the corners of her eyes as she said "i do."

ted was trying his best to keep his composure as he looked at his beautiful wife-to-be.

when the officiant declared them husband and wife, the crowd applauded as the couple was whisked away by photographers.

the bridal party followed shortly after; you found yourself excited to join back up with schlatt.

"did you enjoy yourself?" you ask.

"y'kiddin'? it was gorgeous," he replied.

this time, you wrapped your arm around his bicep as you walked down the aisle.

god, what is he hiding under here? you think to yourself.

--

the reception felt a like a night club.

the lights were low, the music was extremely loud.

you were leaning in close to schlatt as he told you about himself.

you were appalled at how passionate he spoke, he was suprisingly knowledgeable and articulate despite the alcohol flowing through his body. his passionate rant about...something was made more adorable by the sporadic slurred words, small hiccups, and thickening of his accent as he went on.

"so if i play my cards right, i think i'll have the whole collection by the end of the month," he finished.

"that's impressive. never met a man with such...consistency," you half-assedly flirt.

the liquor in your system made you slightly bolder, but your flirtations needed some work.

"can i get you another drink?" schlatt asked.

you nod and watch as his towering frame disappears into the crowd of wedding guests.

you let out a sigh when he's completely gone. he made you so nervous, you didn't know how to act around him.

"y'know he wants you, too, right?" a voice says behind you.

you turn to see ted, his tie hanging loose around his neck and suit jacket missing entirely.

"you're joking," you quip.

ted shakes his head. "i'm serious! when i told him i had paired you guys up, he started blushing...hey, have you noticed that he's only been talking to you all night?"

he had been glued to your side for most of the evening. anywhere you wanted to go, he invited himself along.

he followed like a little puppy.

"no better time than the present," ted broke your train of thought and slipped away just as schlatt returned.

he placed your drink on the table in front of you and leaned closer to you to say something to you.

he craned his neck downward and brought his face to your ear and just before he could speak, you turned your head to catch his lips in a kiss.

no better time than the present.

his lips were slightly chapped and stained with the flavor of aged whiskey. he was stiff at first, but soon pressed his body against yours. his large hands wrapped around your waist and tugged you closer to him as he opened his mouth for you.

you slipped your tongue inside to taste him more intimately. your nails softly scratched his facial hair.

you forgot that you were in public until schlatt's hands wandered slowly down the expanse of your back, finding way to your ass and grabbing as much as he could.

"we should take this somewhere else," you whisper against his lips.

he slips his car keys out of his pocket and dangles them with a cocky grin.

"schlatt, were you gonna booze cruise tonight?" you ask.

"course not, sweetheart. just wanted to have somewhere private...just in case," he finishes his sentence with a swat to your ass.

he takes you by the hand and guides you outside. you pass ted and shae on the way out, their heads nodding subtly in approval.

--

on the way to schlatt's vehicle, you both were stumbling and giggling., you didn't realize how wasted you were until the cool night's breeze grazed your skin.

he let you into the backseat first, but once he joined you climbed into his lap and started to kiss him again.

you felt the stem of your high heels dig into the underside of your ass, but your current activities kept you occupied from thinking about the pain.

you kissed him sloppily, pawing at his chest and torso through his clothes. he moaned against your mouth, relishing in the feeling of your soft lips on his.

"been waiting for this," you mumble against his neck, loosening his tie for easier access.

your lips latch onto his neck, sucking a small bruise into his skin.

his hips buck up against you, his hands gripping your hips through the satin of your dress.

"shhh, calm down, sweetheart. gonna take good care of you," you whisper.

schlatt whines out the sound of your lust-coated voice. his head tips back against the car's head rest.

your hand snakes inbetween your two bodies to find his erection through his dress pants. you rub your palm against him, coaxing anothe rpretty whine from him.

"poor thing, so hard..." you tease.

you press a small kiss to his jaw.

"god, i could cum just from that," he breathily chuckles.

you start to work on unbuckling his belt.

"oh, well we can't have that," you say.

schlatt helps by shimmying himself a little bit so you could finally free his dick from the confines of his pants.

with the light poking in from the windows, you could see his tip leaking in anticipation. in your hands, you felt his heavy length pulsating with need.

"fuck, if i knew you were this big, i would've fucked you a long time ago," you joke.

your hand tightens at the base of schlatt's cock and slowly twists up. you swipe your thumb across his sticky slit before bringing it back down again slowly.

"how bad do you want to fuck me?" you ask.

he can only groan.

"use your words, baby."

"mmph, i want you so bad...fuck...wanna feel you around me..." the alcohol causes his words to be strung out and slightly slurred. he's also so whiny with need, he can barely speak.

"attaboy," you praise.

you lift yourself up to push your soaked panties to the side. you bring yourself down just a bit to bring the head of his cock between your folds. you slide it up to your clit and back down.

"feel how wet you make me?" you moan.

schlatt nods, "yes, ma'am," he swallows.

you smile at him and bring his tip to your dripping entrance.

you sink down onto him at an agonizingly slow speed. the two of you let out deep moans of release.

schlatt's hands slip under your dress to grope at the skin of your ass. your hands wrap around his neck to bring his face close to your exposed cleavage.

you take a second to adjust to his massive length. while you're just sitting on him, he's pressing kisses and soft nibbles to the tops of your breasts and muttering "thank yous" against your skin. his drunken babbles make your pussy flutter around his dick.

"feels so good, already," he whispers, "can't believe this."

you begin to rock your hips back forth on his lap. his hands on your ass mimic your movements.

the feeling of your tight walls gripping him makes his head spin. he can feel you squeeze every time you moan.

"you feel so good, baby..." you grunt into his ear, "so big..."

you feel him smile.

what's arousing schlatt the most is the shift in your personality. he thought you were shy and timid, but he was obviously mistaken. he loves the commanding presence you're taking on and the way he just melts for you like this.

his arms wrap around your waist and bring you closer to him. he buries his face against your skin to muffle his whines.

the car windows begin to fog from the heat of your bodies.

"not gonna last much longer," he grunts against your skin.

"not yet, don't cum yet," you demand.

he takes in a sharp inhale and digs his nails into the plush of your thighs.

"yes m'am," he chokes.

you start to bounce yourself up and down on his length, throwing your head back in pleasure.

the tip of his cock kisses the sweet, spongy spot buried deep toward the back of your cervix.

schlatt is grunting through gritted teeth, holding back the orgasm that's begging to be released.

"i can't...ungh...please," he begs.

you grip his face and make him look up at you.

"fill me up," you tell him.

he keeps his eyes locked on you as he finally lets go, painting the inside of your cunt white with his seed.

"that's a good boy," you whisper in his ear.

you don't slow down as your orgasm builds as well. your thighs began to shake as you feel the coil in your stomach tighten until it finally snaps.

schlatt moans at the feel of your walls spasming on his overstimulated cock. he watches as you let go on him, your hair is messy, pupils blown with lust and lips glistening.

"you look so pretty when you cum," he stutters.

when you're done using his cock for your own pleasure, you rest your head on his shoulder and pant.

schlatt is the first to begin laughing. soon, you're both laughing uncontrollably.

when you hoist yourself off of him, you see his cock shining with the mixture of yours and his cum. a ring has formed at his base.

you clamber to the glove compartment and grab some napkins to clean him off with.

he hisses when the napkins make contact with his sensitive skin, but relaxes into your touch.

you look at him and press a small but thoughtful kiss to his lips.

he's about to say something when you slip out of the car and back toward the wedding venue.

guess you're gonna keep him on his toes.

[alebrini-deactivated20260402]

oh my 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

[breadly-art]

He's a really hot topic 🐎

Inspo image:

Save a horse-

WHO SAID THAT?!