after that chuckle sandwich video i’m absolutely convinced now that schlatt would just mimic eating pussy all the time if you were dating. he’s teasing you out in public? his fingers come up and his tongue comes out. he’s letting you know what’s happening when you get home? fingers and tongue. he’s just trying to embarrass you? the same thing. we love a proud munch in this house
imagining reader playing the sims with wicked whims installed, and schlatt teasing you for being a “pervert.”
“if you like watching your dolls go at it, how about i sit here and stroke myself and you can enjoy that too? you want to be in control, sweet? tell me how you want me.”
schlatt just waltzing into the kitchen, slapping your ass with a sharp sting. hand lingering on your waist, his pelvis pressing against your ass. “mm, dinner smells nice, bub.” fingertips digging into your side, eager to have you in his hands. one hand snaking up your loose fitting shirt to cup your breast in his large hand. “can you hurry up so i can fuck you?” softly muttering, his desperation evident in his squeezing. “or, i can pull your shorts to the side and fuck you whilst you’re being a good little housewife, hmm?”
Schlatt x Reader fluff. Inspired by Hold Me Like a Grudge by Fall Out Boy.
Continuation of I've Got All This Ringing in My Ears and None on My Fingers
---
The next morning, you blink slowly, coming to your senses. You huff softly, stretching your arms out and feeling your hand brush against the cold screen of your phone. The memory of Schlatt’s call hits you in the face, blinking when you realize your phone wasn’t plugged into the charger. You tap at the screen, watching as it stays black like it was taunting you, reflecting the way a little frown formed on your face. This only reminded you the world was always spinning and you can’t keep up.
“Oh God fucking..” you sigh. That shouldn’t have upset you that much, but waking up to Schlatt no longer on the other end because you forgot to plug your phone in again made your stomach turn. Then again, who’s to say he wouldn’t have hung up by the morning anyway?
Accepting defeat, you plug your phone in and leave it sitting on your unmade bed as you go to at least get your morning routine started. By the time you came back, your phone was now on and showed only a few notifications, but one catches your eye.
A text from Schlatt.
It wasn’t completely unreasonable. Sometimes he’d text out of the blue, but after last night, it made your heart lurch in your chest.
Schlatt: phone die or did you come to your senses this time?
You hated how he knew your habits so well. It was like he held onto each bit of information he learned about you, holding them against you like a grudge.
You: funny. figured ud have found out i always make the worst decisions by now :/
Schlatt: yeah. you put the fun in dysfunction.
You: sure do. i’m a full-time problem.
Schlatt: at least you’re aware.
You scoff, rolling your eyes at his text. But before you can even think about anything else, you’re already typing a reply.
You: u keep coming back so idk what that says about u 🤷🏻
The text bubble pops up and down several times. You can practically hear the gears turning in his head as the dots taunt you, only driving your impatience thinner.
Schlatt: you busy today?
Weird way to change the topic. You don’t pay it much mind, deciding to push him just a bit more.
You: why?
Schlatt: answer the question, bitch.
You: no
Schlatt: figured. i’m picking you up at 10.
You: i don’t get a choice????
Schlatt: don’t give me that shit. you’d say yes anyway.
You: …i hate you
Schlatt: no you don’t. and you aren’t saying no.
You: whatever you wanna tell urself, big guy
Schlatt: see you at 10, toots.
You decide to leave him on read, sighing heavily after tossing your phone back onto the bed. Something about this was different, and you couldn’t figure out what it was. Sure, he’s done this before to get his fill from you (literally,) but your head was spinning, only going faster and faster. This doesn’t feel like a game anymore, especially with how he sounded like he genuinely needed you last night.
Maybe, just maybe, you’d have a good night with him rather than leaving feeling like you were making a bigger mistake. Maybe you’d be able to run middle fingers through the red lights with him and not care where you end up this time.
Schlatt kept to his word, pulling up in one of his adored cars and beeping the horn twice, his signature. You roll your eyes when you hear it, knowing he’ll keep going if you don’t walk out the door in the next two minutes. You pull on your shoes, opening the front door as he honks again, making you scrunch your face at him. He does it back with a smug grin, clear opposite of your scowl. The pop-up headlights on his car were up, and they catch your gaze as one goes down only to pop back up a few seconds later.
Did this fucker just wink at you with his headlights?
Your reaction earns a hearty laugh from Schlatt, one that makes your heart flutter.
Yeah, this wasn’t your usual night with him. That only confirmed it.
“That was fuckin’ priceless,” he beamed as he got out of the car, a hand running through his hair since he wasn’t wearing a hat tonight. It lets you admire those tousled chocolate curls of his you adored.
“You’re ridiculous,” you shake your head, but the small smile tugging at the corners of your mouth seems to make Schlatt’s own smile grow. His eyes held a warmth you weren’t used to seeing at that moment.
“C’mon, sweetheart,” he spoke softly, brushing past you to open the passenger door for you. This part was normal, the man never let you open the car door for yourself unless you physically beat him to it. You just huff, mind still reeling as you slide into the car, Schlatt closing the door behind you and going back around to the driver’s side. The radio’s playing softly, already knowing it was the playlist he had you make on his phone. He passed it off as wanting to make fun of your music taste, but then you found him playing it any time you were in the car with him.
The drive is quiet, the tension between you two nearly making it hard to breathe, but somehow comforting. Schlatt keeps a hand on your thigh like always, his other hand on the wheel as he drives. You’re staring at the window, oblivious to the fact that he’s gazing at you at every red light.
Eventually, he takes a turn onto a winding side road, leading to a field shielded from the city lights. He kills the engine, and when you look up, you notice it’s the same spot you first saw him be vulnerable only to hide in his persona again. Your heart aches in the memory of that night.
It was the night you realized just how hard you’d fallen for him.
As you’re lost in your thoughts, Schlatt’s hand on your thigh tightens briefly, like he’s trying to pull you out of your head.
“I think I’m getting tired of the part-time soulmates thing we’ve got going on,” he starts, and the only thing that keeps you from getting instantly defensive is the way his voice was lowered like he was afraid of the words he was saying. A few moments pass before he speaks up again, swallowing hard. “I can’t keep acting like I don’t care. Tried keepin’ you distant, but you..” he trailed off, his eyes meeting yours, and you felt your breath hitch when they did.
You wait for him to finish, but the way his hand on your thigh trembles slightly tells you he was struggling.
“I what?” you whisper, afraid to break the moment, afraid that if you speak too loud, it’ll shatter.
“You... make me feel things I don’t know how to deal with.” His voice cracks slightly, and it’s enough to send a rush of heat to your chest. “I told myself I didn’t need anyone, that I could handle this shit alone. But... you’ve always been there, even when I didn’t deserve it. And I’m tired of pretending I don’t care. I do.”
The confession hits you like a tidal wave, your heart threatening to burst. It’s everything you’ve been afraid to hear but desperately needed. You can’t stop the smile that breaks across your face despite feeling like you’d pass out.
“You care?” you ask, half-laughing, half-crying, the disbelief clear in your voice.
His lips curl up into a sheepish smile. “Toots, I have since I saw you.”
You move closer, your hands finding their way to his collar, pulling him in. His breath catches just before your lips meet. It’s a slow, tentative kiss at first, as though neither of you is entirely sure what happens next. But it deepens, soft and sweet, like a promise you’ve both been too scared to make until now.
When you finally pull back, you rest your forehead against his, feeling the warmth of his breath against your skin. You could get used to this.
“I don’t think I can keep pretending, either,” you murmur, your voice barely a whisper.
He chuckles softly, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you close. “Guess we’re both fucked then, huh?”
“Guess so,” you reply with a soft laugh, nuzzling into his chest, letting the weight of the night settle between you two, knowing that this time, it feels real.
Schlatt was a diamond on the inside, you just needed to add the pressure.
I've Got All This Ringing in My Ears and None on My Fingers
Schlatt x Reader hurt/comfort. Slight mention of NSFW. Inspired by the song I've Got All This Ringing in My Ears and None on My Fingers by Fall Out Boy.
---
You knew this would happen. Knew it from the moment you saw him, the smug and toothy grin followed by a “Y’need somethin' there, toots?” Said in a drawl that made your knees weak. Schlatt knew he was handsome. Fuck, he had countless people telling him that every day, and he wasn’t shy about it. But something stirred in him from the mindless stare you gave him, eyes like fucking saucers as he tilted his head to look down at you.
You shouldn’t even be entertaining the thought. You knew what you’d been told, that he was just another arrogant content creator, even saw it in how he acted sometimes. But you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t fucking hot. And you were crossfaded to hell, dangerously close to making a choice that you knew would shatter you if it went south. You couldn’t risk getting attached to yet another person only for them to disappear. Realizing this, you give a scoff and roll your eyes before turning to head for the door, hoping it’d dampen his interest.
Then, you heard him.
“Oh, real cute,” his voice cutting straight through the music and party chatter ringing in your ears. The tone in his voice made you falter for a moment, but you kept walking, not wanting to let him see he got to you. But your tense shoulders only gave you away.
“Not even a ‘fuck you’ or somethin’?”
That took you off guard. Part of you found it funny, the other part was still trying to figure out how to react.
“What?” You scoff, finally stopping in your tracks and turning to look back at him.
“Oh, that’s what gets you to turn back around?” He taunted, cocking a brow. You usually were never one to give these kinds of guys the light of day, but something about him kept you in his grip like a moth drawn to a flame. Unable to tear your eyes away from the man before you despite the threat of being burned. He seems to clock this fairly quickly, a sly grin forming on his face.
“Why don’t you come over and see what everyone’s talkin’ about?” He challenged, making your mouth suddenly go dry. You couldn’t tell if it was the alcohol and weed in your system or the way his voice dropped and how he looked at you, but you were trapped in his gaze. And you didn’t want to leave it this time.
He stands there, the glint in his eyes making your stomach turn yet also made you weak in the knees. You couldn’t resist anymore, scoffing under your breath before closing the distance, watching as that fucking grin grew on his face.
“That’s it, sweetheart. Not gonna run off anymore?”
You roll your eyes again, but you stay right in front of him against any better judgment. He seems pleased with this, nodding toward the door you were about to walk out of moments ago, a silent invitation.
His grin is sharp as he now has you right where he wants you, watching you like he’s already won. Maybe he has. His hands are on you before you can change your mind—palms against your hips, lips dragging down your throat.
You don’t stop him.
You only stop thinking.
The truth hurt worse than anything Schlatt could bring himself to do to you.
The truth that you fell, and you fell hard, when both of you agreed this wouldn’t go anywhere. Just merely filling each other’s needs, right?
You remember the way he held you under the stars, the one time you saw his walls fall. Saw the man behind the spikey persona he fronted for the cameras. But as fast as you saw them fall, they went back up, as if the moment never happened. Like he was afraid of letting you in, letting you see him for who he truly was. Afraid you won’t be interested anymore. But little did he know, that’s all you wanted. To see that he was something more, but part of you was too afraid of the possibility of that not being the case.
It was another night up late, sleep leaving you in the dust as you were doom-scrolling yet again. Sprawled out on your stomach in bed, tucked under your covers and surrounded by your stuffed animals you knew you should’ve outgrown by now but you refused to. And as the clock turns another hour, your phone starts to buzz in your hand, pulling your attention from the reel of a cat absolutely bumping it to a song.
Schlatt.
Your stomach dropped, sighing softly as you let the phone buzz a little more in your hands, trying to see if he’d back out or not. But no, the phone ringing was as persistent as he was, and you caved, just like always as you tapped the screen to answer.
“Hello?” you put on a sleepy tone to make him think he woke you up. But you both knew better than that. There’s a pause on the other end, and for a second, you think maybe he’s already hung up.
“’Course you’re awake.” Schlatt’s voice is rough, laced with something you can’t quite place.
You sigh, shifting onto your back. “And you’re drunk.” It’s not a question, then you hear him let out a little laugh.
“Dunno what you’re talkin’ about, sweetheart.”
“You only call me this late when you are.” Another pause. He exhales sharply, like he knows he’s been caught but refuses to admit it.
“Shouldn’t’a called.”
“Then why did you?”
Silence.
You almost think he’s not going to answer, then he mutters, “Fuck if I know.”
“That’s bullshit.”
“You always gotta pick a fight with me?” His voice is sharper now, irritation creeping in. “I call, you answer, and we go through this same song and dance,”
You cut him off. “You’re the one calling me in the middle of the night, Schlatt.”
“Yeah? And you’re the one always pickin’ up, toots.”
That shuts you up. Because he’s right. You do, every fucking time. Even though you know exactly how this ends. Messy, unresolved, with a bitter taste in your mouth and a hollow feeling in your chest that you were desperate to fill.
“Y’could just tell me to fuck off,” he says after a moment, voice quieter. “Would make it easier.”
“Would it even fuckin’ do anything at this point?”
Schlatt doesn’t answer, but you hear him sigh again, long and tired.
“I just… fuck, I d’know,” he mutters, words slightly slurred. “Felt alone.”
Something tightens in your chest. You should be angry. Should tell him to grow the fuck up, to stop running in circles with you. But the vulnerability in his voice, the way it barely slips through before he’s swallowing it back down, has your heart twisting instead. You knew that feeling too well yourself.
There’s a beat of silence before you say, “Do you want me to stay on the phone?”
Another pause.
“…Yeah.”
Your eyes sting, but you ignore it. You don’t say anything else. Just lay there, listening to the steady sound of his breathing on the other end. It’s a comfortable silence, the previous tension between you two seeming to lighten up. It almost makes your heart flutter when you hear him speak up again.
“G’night, sweetheart,” he murmurs, voice barely above a whisper.
“Goodnight, Schlatt.”
Neither of you hang up, hearing him as he shifts in his bed before letting out a breath that lets you know he’s drifted off to sleep. And, coincidentally, that makes you relax into your bed, eyes closing as you drift off. You knew you were far from the intimacy you wanted from him, but this gave you hope you’d get there eventually.
when schlatt starts dating you, he becomes disgusted by men who aren't obsessed with their girlfriends. he's so enamoured by you, your body, your personality, your humor. that he can't wrap his head around giys who hate on their girlfriend. he worships ghe ground you walk on. he helps you take off your hells or carries you piggyback style when your feet hurt (even though he warned you not to wear those ones and he's not gonna carry you when your feet get blistered) but he does anyway. remembers your favorite order, flowers, comfort film. always coming up behind you, snuggling his nose into your neck, wrapping his arms around you when he gets the chance. just simp!bf!schlatt yk
germansingergirl
andulkaphoto
blakekathryn
vaporwave
turnnoffyourmind
snowghoul
jacobvanloon
