can’t you see i wanna talk?

you’re gonna burn yourself out. /S. x twitter: schmidtpoetry

[schmidtwrites]

to the point

“

what’s the point?

rushing like a bull,

can only see red.

please, let me go to bed.

what’s your point?

i can’t help me.

you can’t stop it,

and i’ll never top this.

there’s no point.

we went too fast.

brake lines been cut.

light’s all burnt out.

it never could turn out.

the point is we’ve died out.

“

12/6/21

/S. x

[schmidtwrites]

this weekend

“

missed calls,

do not disturb.

maybe this weekend?

would that work?

empty heads,

broken heart.

not going home

until i play your part.

no worth,

no value.

it doesn’t matter

long as i see you.

this’ll work out

in a few weeks.

warm hands,

cold feet.

warm hands,

are all i need

right now.

see you this weekend.

please see me.

“

10/25/21

/S. x

[schmidtwrites]

can you hear me?

i want to talk.

but it’s

you who shuts down.

maybe i’m not the bad guy here.

can’t i leave?

without feeling

like i’m

pushing you out.

couldn’t we live?

with out

having to smother

one another?

i’m starving you

depriving you.

i don’t regret it either.

/S. x

9/14/21

[schmidtwrites]

“

maybe, maybe not.

it’s not real. it’s all a lie.

it doesn’t matter,

but it’s still so wrong.

i almost forgot

to look you in the eye.

next time i’ll be sure

to talk before too long.

maybe it’s just a thought,

maybe you’re the one living life?

what if it’s my turn

to be wrong?

but what if it’s not?

would you tell me?

maybe.

maybe not.

“

/S. x

8/29/21

[schmidtwrites]

fifty-one percent

“

she doesn’t know how

to stop the voices.

the lies are every night.

thinking up reasons why

she doesn’t deserve to live.

she knows what needs to be done.

and she knows she’s worth the life

she was given.

but it’s a walk,

not a sprint.

but at least now,

she lies every night,

and puts more faith than fear

into her dreams.

“

- just give 51%, 100’s too unrealistic anyways.

/ S. x

04/01/2020

[schmidtwrites]

it’s been a minute, hasn’t it?

i’m up, but not for long.

praying this finds you well.

i may be back sooner this time.

either way, i’ll see you.

/ s. x

[schmidtwrites]

note to self

“

she won’t fix you.

she couldn’t even if she tried.

you’re the only one who can.

please realize this,

and don’t break her in the

process.

“

/ S. x

12/25/19

[schmidtwrites]

how to start ?

“

i’ll keep losing the blame game.

pretending you were the one

without a heart.

that’s just how i am

when it comes to you and

not knowing where to start.

start to rebuild.

“

/ S. x

11/30/19

[schmidtwrites]

J & S

“

i felt the seconds

counting down and

mocking me for a night

well spent yet so wasted.

i still can’t read you,

but maybe i was able to

open the cover?

hopefully next time.

see you soon.

”

/ S. x

11/26/19

[schmidtwrites]

some dialogue (i)

“would you do anything for her?”

“i guess.”

“ain’t no guessing, we do things we hate for the people we love. would you? do you?”

“yeah, for her, i would.”

“and yes. i do.”

[schmidtwrites]

“i thought that /maybe i was close / to you being someone / i could know.

it’s getting cold now / and i’m thinking / it don’t matter / so i’ll see you soon.”

- please prove me wrong

/ S. x

10/26/19

[schmidtwrites]

fair trade

“

i’ll trade the nights i can’t forget,

and the town that made me,

for some new colors

and choices i won’t regret.

trade the silence for singing,

and turn the emptiness

into empathy.

i can do anything.

“

/ S. x

10/21/19

[schmidtwrites]

after another mistake;

“

lost myself in my screen,

but it’s all good,

cause i’m wandering through the stream

thinking maybe i should?

i still see me when it goes black

but i’m never really there.

all this time and i still don’t know how i lack,

and i’m still asking myself “where?”

so i guess it doesn’t even matter.

next time i’ll put my phone down

and i’ll try my best not to think of her.

if i have to, i’ll leave another town.

maybe it’ll work this time.

“

/ S. x

10/12/19

[schmidtwrites]

“you don’t realize you’re drowning someone until they tell you they can’t breathe.”

- did you let up? or did you push them further down?

i’ve done both, so i won’t judge.

/ S. x

10/10/19

[schmidtwrites]

“one of these days you’ll wake up in a new place. and you won’t want to go back to sleep.”

/ S. x

9/22/19

[schmidtwrites]

take time

“

it takes time.

we give years to

our demons and

a few days to the light,

and we expect change.

i leave my demons on read

but the messages are still there.

they can’t grab the wheel,

but they’re in the rear view.

they may have left my bed,

but God knows they’re still

in my head.

i know it takes time.

i just wish change came quicker.

“

/ S. x

9/18/19

[schmidtwrites]

“i’ve given up on asking for a way out. now i just aim to survive until morning.”

- that wish has been granted to me without fail. so far.

/ S. x

9/13/19