trying on a metaphor
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@schoolboyqtpie
Stephen Vollo (American) - Strainer, Paintings: Oil on Canvas on Panel
I used to have that exact strainer. It was in a box of hand-me-down kitchen things from my grandmother when I got my first apartment in 1996. It broke last year.
Anyway, this is a painting.
This is the best strainer in the world and i check the housewares aisle in every thrift store I visit hoping to find another one. No strainer has ever been able to live up to this icon, this superstar, this vision of grace and elegance.
It’s the two-quart Tupperware colander. The handle is large and sturdy but still comfortable to hold in your hand. The ridge on the end helps it fit on any size pot you need to rest it over. The little feet at the bottom let you drain directly into the sink without leaving the contents sitting in a puddle. It’s got a spout on both sides so you can pour comfortably from the left or right hand, towards or away from yourself as needed. The holes are at the bottom so you can control where strained liquids flow, large enough to drain quickly, small enough to keep from losing bits of food through them. The bright yellow colour is easy to spot in the back of a cupboard or dishwasher.
I am passionate about this specific strainer in a way that I am not passionate about anything else in my life. I would run back into a burning building to rescue this strainer. This strainer is my go-to wedding or housewarming gift. This strainer is my beloved family member. I have shared more meals with this strainer than I have with anyone else in my life. This strainer has never, ever let me down. It is the most perfectly designed item I have ever seen or handled in my life. Every aspect of this strainer is made to maximize convenience and functionality. It is flawless, a form of complete and total perfection. If you told me this strainer was the face of God, recreated on Earth in Their image, I would believe you.
Anyway, this is the best painting I’ve ever seen and they should take down the Mona Lisa so there’s an appropriate space to hang it in the Louvre.
Thank you for that eloquent review to go along with this impressive painting!
If anyone else is inspired to look up the two-quart Tupperware colander, I'll save you a few keystrokes. Amazon has in stock (in several colors, no less). I imagine some other stores do as well.
Anyways, I already have two metal colanders that make a horrible mess every time they're used, and I'm gonna buy myself a blue one of these. Thanks!
If people were too mean to you when you were growing up, a newborn animal will materialize inside your brain and it’s so so scared and shivering and it will stay there for years. Decades, even. And whenever you say something kind of weird but true to your heart the animal will tell you “Noo! You can’t say that! If you say that, everyone will hate you!”. The animal means well. It’s so so small and everything is so scary for them and it’s just trying to protect you. But listen to me. Listen to me. Whenever this happens, you can’t do what the animal says. You can’t. If you do, you’ll become as scared as the animal. You have to keep saying weird shit. You have to keep doing things the animal wouldn’t approve of. If you do enough things that scare the animal, maybe one day it’ll go to sleep.
and is your shame helpful? is it inspiring goodness and change? or is it keeping you frozen in time unable to move on and be everything you have expanded to be?
we all talk about doing it scared doing it alone doing it weird etc. but the the hideously awful truth is that you also often have to do it stupid
the older i get, the more i need time & personal space to be as boring as possible
I understand old men sitting on porches staring at an empty field more now than ever.
yr house is secretly alive
Edward Julius Detmold - Jewels of the Deep (1925)
Edward Julius Detmold (British, 1883-1957)
i love you mango i love you peaches i love you raspberries i love you strawberries i love you pineapple
i love you coffee i love you chai i love you boba i love you fruit juice i love you green tea i love you slushie i love you milkshake i love you lemonade
I guess im waiting for love that feels as comfortable as when im alone