Not to go "if you have ADHD just go for a run" or anything, but I am so serious if you have ADHD you should regularly go outside, no headphones no phone no nothing and just stand and observe for a while until you've had enough. Not until you get bored, until you've had enough. Drink your coffee without watching tiktok. Have a bath without music. Turn down the volume in your headphones. I cannot overstate how much learning to be bored is cruicial with ADHD. Life is not just about pleasure, no matter what your dysregulated dopamine system thinks, and when you teach your brain to be okay with being bored, then boring tasks stop feeling like torture. By letting yourself be bored you are yoinking your system out of the high/low binary and allow for the highs to feel like actual highs and not just anything that isn't low. I am so serious go literally touch grass. Listen to the sounds in your flat. Stimulate your body the way it was designed. It lowers anxiety and makes you feel like you're real and best of all it's completely free
I must not delay task. Delay task is the mindkiller. Delay task is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my task. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the task has gone there will be nothing. Only completed task will remain.
Student Diaries #1: The Constant Comparison Dilemma
Last week, I was exploring college campuses and weighing my options. However, whenever I open my for-you-page in Instagram, I always canāt help but feel down. Everyone is accomplishing amazing things while I still feel left behind. Itās like everyone knows what theyāre doing but me. Every post and reel, the constant nagging thought of me being the only one struggling with their goals always consumes me. In the end, I fall to the doom-scroll and self-pity hole.
Itās a never-ending miserable cycle. You think you feel fine at first, but then you see a post of a loud influencer telling you to do this and that. They tell you to always be on the grindāto keep up the hustle culture or else you failed your ancestors. That isnāt to say loud posts are all you see in the media, but there are gentle ones too. However once youāre deep in that cycle, those very same gentle posts become a stab in the chest. Whatās meant to be a comforting and encouraging hug, just suffocates you instead.
"I already rested and procrastinated multiple times, why should rest be productive for me? I donāt deserve that reward yet."
Yet that thought itself is a lie. Everyone deserves proper rest regardless. Your procrastination? It looks like rest but itās just stagnation that turns into regret. Actual rest energizes you, procrastination demotivates you. Itās so easy to say "just keep up the momentum" and "be consistent" but itās still so easy to fall back into it regardless. The more it repeats, the more it brings you down. It eventually forms the belief that you canāt be able to do it -- that maybe you arenāt meant for it. The thought of not living up to your ideal self and who youāre meant to become is enough to ruin a person.
I am someone who still struggles with it. I promised to post weekly when starting this account, and I didnāt live up to that. Right now, Iām second-guessing myself as I write this post. That this doesnāt deserve to be heard, that what I have to say isnāt insightful, and that I have no right to be here especially as I didnāt live up to what I expected for myself.
But then I read this substack article that said:
"Seneca said, "While we are postponing, lifespeeds by."
They understood that waiting too long was a form of self-abandonment.
You want to honor your potential?
Stop waiting for the stars to align.
They won't. Move anyway."
That passage of text alone got me to start moving and type this entry. To keep up that pace and become who you want to be, we have to forgive ourselves right now and accept who we are. We have to embrace all the flaws, failures, and the label of not being enough. If we want to move unto the new version of ourselves, we must forgive and accept the old. To forgive means to be present, instead of indulging in self-abandonment.
Last week, I was traveling to see the campuses of colleges I could go to. Itās a bit terrifying but itās exciting. But this experience also forced me to take time off of my phone, and boyy it felt so much better. I didnāt have to face another person loudly or gently sharing how to be better. I didnāt have to look at another post to compare myself to and think "Iām so left behindā¦"
Social media demands attention, and most of the time it forces your attention away from yourself. It forces you to look at others as it fuels its algorithm to keep you glued to the screen. This cycle? Keeps you stuck and it is not a pretty situation to be in.
So if ever you find yourself in this position, just as I was? Take a break from all social media. Lock it. Log off. If you want to? Delete it. Then explore. Do the things you love. Do the things you once hated but want to try again. Experience life. Love again even!
You donāt need to be perfect or accomplished to be loved and cared for. If you want to become the person you want, start giving yourself what you need right now. Otherwise, how else can you continue your journey and achieve your goals if youāre starved of your needs?
Donāt talk to yourself like youāre nothing. Talk to yourself like an encouraging friend and a gentle parent. Furthermore, let go of that idealised version you have of yourself. Even the most perfect version of us will have their bad days. If we want to become them, we must accept their most flawed being. When all is said and done, itās your growth that matters most. Not others', just yours. So, Iām learning to growānot for perfection, but for peace.
āā
To those who stayed, thank you for reading! Once again, I greatly apologise for the inconsistent posts. However, I came up with this during all that time lost and I hope you gained something from it.
Lastly, shoutout to the substack post that helped me:
the cost of waiting.
Give this a read as well. I swear, itās worth your time as it was mine.
"Every day I get emails" but not in the funny ha ha work sucks I know way more in the ADHD horror story this is legitimately causing problems for me at work way.
I have pretty bad issues with demand avoidance and a major, catastrophic mental thing that happened when my company was acquired is that my email - one of the actually super important things that I have to pay attention to - started triggering demand avoidance in a very major way.
I've been trying to limp along with filtering rules and have added "email mortification ritual" to my personal calendar but it's not helping and I'm having trouble sussing out WHY email has become so impossible to look at.
(which is why you're reading this, I don't have a therapist at the moment so I'm rubber ducking with tumblr)
Part of the reason that I will liveblog things like this is because genuinely just talking about stuff does help me see what I can do to fix it but part of it is that there are tons of people out there who haven't ever verbalized or formalized this kind of troubleshooting process and it's something that, yes, I do use for computers and car repair and such but genuinely sitting down and going
what are my goals?
what does approaching my goal look like in an ideal world?
what does approaching my goal look like in the real world?
what are the things that make my approach non-ideal?
can I fix any of those things with simple changes?
can I fix any of those things with complex changes?
can I ask for help with any of those things?
are some of those things actually totally unnecessary and can they be dropped?
can I make a coherent plan to improve my approach?
what steps do i need to take to make this plan part of my day?
is a model for interrupting doom spirals and improving everything from your relationships to your sleep schedule to your guitar playing.
me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit
mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters
me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: IāM NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU
Please Help Me ā My Son May Die at Any Moment.
I am in desperate need of your help. My sonās life is hanging by a thread, and he may not survive without urgent medical treatment This was after he was shot by an Israeli drone He was critically injured in his feet.
Time is running out, and we are facing a critical situation. I am asking for your generosity to help us save him ā either through a donation or by sharing this urgent plea with others
I beg you, i kiss your feet, to help my son. My son may die at any moment
Donate now:šš
gofundme.com
āāThank you for your compassion and support during this critical time.
areudirty
gracieabrams
prguitarman
2087
turnnoffyourmind
tangentwithtanner
pixelskylines
romaincrisis
