As the door opened and the smaller girl stood in front of him, Felix instantly calmed. That’s often what happened when he got what he wanted. Like a kid throwing a tantrum. Despite how much he was feeling his face stayed blank, emotionless. It was like he couldn’t process what was happening. The words he wanted to say were so far in the back of his mind now he couldn’t remember them. Heart still racing, forehead sweating. He stayed silent, allowing his anger to subside before speaking, ❝Can I come in?❞ Was all he could manage. One foot in the door before he finished the sentence. A forced smile crept up on his face, examining the room around him. The familiarity of it all was overwhelming, but it was impossible to tell by just looking at him. He turned back to her, needing to separate himself from the scene and focus on who he was really there for. Inching closer to Saige until he was directly in front of her face, head bent in order to make eye contact. Blue eyes piercing into hers. ❝Where’ve you been, baby?❞ His tone was bitter, but not enough to be more intimidating than usual, ❝It’s my fault for not writing you more, isn’t it? You know I’m not good with words. You should’ve visited.❞ It was new for Felix to be so eerily calm. A year ago he would have been screaming already, breaking something, blaming everyone but himself for his mistakes. ❝I missed you. Did you miss me?❞ He smiled, but it seemed fake. He had one arm to the left of her, rested up against the wall. It was his way of controlling where she stood, not wanting her to get scared and step away from him too soon. He looked almost sad, like he was fighting back tears and could start crying any second, but kept the same smile on his face, ❝Doesn’t matter. I’m here now, right? We can pick up where we left off.❞
It was hard to keep her composure - she’d never been good at confrontation; always ran instead of dealing with whatever was in front of her, always changing topics and shifting to fit inside a mold distracting enough. Even when dealing with Brooks - Saige was able to keep a hold on herself; but Felix was different, in more ways than one, and she found herself taking a step back to let him inside, “Oh - yeah, sure, ‘course, mi casa es tu casa, y’know?” she laughed - short, awkward, filled with the nerves she’d been trying to hide. “Sorry - it’s like, um - messy, right now ... meant to uh, go on like, a cleaning kick y’know? Just - been busy and all, very busy - like, super busy.” her eyes hadn’t left him - rambling a habit she’d always had, unable to stop in fear of silence but words, ultimately, swallowed back down as he’d gotten closer to her - Saige stepping backwards until she was against the wall; trapped. “I’ve been - I’ve been here,” she couldn’t bring herself to look away from him - nowhere to go, regardless, “I - no, baby, no - it’s not your fault. I’m - I’ve just - my parents were - they didn’t think it’d be a good idea to - y’know how they are about publicity - one wrong step and I’ll end up in a tabloid.” her words tripped over one another; excuses upon excuses, trying to dig herself out of the hole that’d been dug, “Of course I missed you, Felix,” Saige brought her hand up to his face - thumb brushing against his cheek in a gentle caress, “I’ve thought of you everyday.” she smiled - too, but it felt equally as fake, forced, as if she’d been trying to say the right things - and it faded almost instantly, hand dropping as he spoke, “Felix,” she said, again, brows knitting together, “I - I don’t know about that, it’s - it’s been a year, ‘Lix. It’s been a long year. It’s been a really, really long year and I - I don’t know if that’s - it’s been so long -” her words ran in circles, finally looking away from him to anything else in the room, anything at all. Saige swallowed again, “It’s just - we’ve both ... have had to change, this past year, right? I mean - god, Christ - you’ve just - how long have you been out of prison, Felix? Doesn’t it - shouldn’t we take this - slow?” It’d been a while - a year - since she’d been in any sort of relationship with anybody; a year of fooling around without second thoughts, hooking up with strangers in the back of their cars or in club bathrooms or anywhere they could get away with - Felix buried deep inside her mind. Guilt burned up her chest, heat in her cheeks.
