I like Art, Dead things & The colour Black.

24, psychedelic art & body modification enthusiast. Come, sit, talk about death with us.

[scottishgothbroth-blog]

I don't know what's more exhausting....not having a sense of reality when you don't know what's going on or scrambling to grip on to the last shred of reality I have by sliding down the refresh bar to see if you had a late night change of heart. Tell me every day that you love me but I'm still scared you stopped meaning it

[scottishgothbroth-blog]

My homescreen got me missing my girlfriend like crazy. We live on opposite side of the capital city so we can't get to each other, it's causing alot of emotions. Alot of love, alot of frustration, alot of worry and confusion too. I hope everyone's coping, lock down sucks for everyone for so many different reasons. It's important to stay connected and remember this is only temporary. It's hard to do that after so many weeks but fuck, how good it will be to have your hair covering everything I own again and I swear I will never complain about it ever again!

[scottishgothbroth-blog]

First post is a heavy one tbh, I suffer from a form of psychosis, (I don't plan on going too indepth about that) this is the first attempt I've made at writing about my condition and to be quite frank I don't know how I feel about it. I think I just needed to try it the once to see.

Everyday I'm followed by a demon.

Everyday that demon is there. Standing behind me, 6 and a half foot tall. Black oily skin, it feels almost sticky but never leaves a stain.

Everyday that demon tries again. "Can you breathe now?" It'll ask me, as it resets it's hand position to get a better grip of my throat. "Can you breathe now?"

Everyday I'll walk my dog, she can't see that demon.

Everyday I'll walk past a familiar face, they smile and nod because they can't see that demon.

Everyday that demon will try a new technique, as if it had been practicing.

Everyday I feel it's face inches from mine, "Can you breathe....now?"

But everyday I try, incase that demon decides to leave.

That demon doesn't scare me.

That demon makes me think.

If I wasn't suffocating, would I keep going?

Would I have a reason?

Is that demon real? Or is it something worse?

If that demon isn't real, it's in my head.

If it's in my head then I must be sick right? I must be dying? I must be something?

Everyday I'm followed by a demon and everyday that demon tries to kill me and everyday he asks "can you breathe now?" As if he is still learning.

And everyday it's terrifying to think today is the day he improves.