I cannot sit here everyday in my cold, dark room wishing time would go by faster, that the four months is over and you’ll be home tomorrow, I just can’t. I can’t imagine that you’re next to me every night when I’m falling asleep and that the nightmares don’t scare the hell out of me like they did before we were together, I can’t pretend they aren’t happening again because they are and it’s scaring me. I can’t pretend that you’re coming home and you’ll be the same man that I fell in love with, that the training you’re going through hasn’t changed you at all because it’s bullshit. I can’t keep pretending that it’s not changing because it is and it hurts like hell to know that when you get home, things will be different, you’ll be different, and me… I’ll still be me.. the same girl you fell in love with, I just hope she’s enough for you like she was before. It’s killing me to be here everyday and not hear from you at all, like you’ve dropped off the face of the earth and there’s not a god damn thing I can do about it but sit here and wait. Every day I’m waiting for you and I can’t keep bottling it up inside. It’s not even been a month and this is the first time I’ve cried since you’ve left and you’re not here to hold me and say it’s okay even when I know it’s not. You’re not here, you left, you promised me you’d never leave and where are you now that I need you most? You’re supposed to be my best friend, the love of my life, you’re supposed to be there for me, for always, and now you’ve picked a career that won’t let you do that, you’ve chosen your career over me, over us, our family. How can you do that to me? How can you leave without even flinching at the thought of being gone so long? Was I so horrible that you wanted to go, to get away from me? Am I that awful to be around? Why can’ t you just come home, come home and make everything better like you did before. Please don’t leave me here, please, I don’t want to be alone.
jacobvanloon
ellievsbear
stormborns
dededos
2087
blakekathryn
tangentwithtanner
