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CW: 58Kgs GW:50 UGW:45

[screamingcryingthrowingupdyinh]

reason 29848494 i hate my ex

how could he mention so so private TO ME to another mutual friend OR ANYONE for that matter. It's the worst thing I've ever done and I'm so fucking ashamed of it. I can't believe he's telling people about it. Oh my god i wish I could fucking disappear right now because what the fuck. What the fuck was he thinking? I just hope he fucking d!es atp I'm so tired of feeling this way. So sick of feeling like he's going to tell people about such private things anytime just to sound all cool and fun at the cost of someone else's reputation. Dating him has to be the biggest regret of my life, how could someone do this to another person? A person they've known for more than a decade. I'm so so upset like I can't believe he's done this. I don't know the amount of people that know about this and it's bothering me so much.

[screamingcryingthrowingupdyinh]

Does it really make a difference if i exist or not? I think the only difference it would make is less financial responsibility for my family. I truly don't think a single person would care enough about my disappearance and this thought alone makes me want to disappear. Leave because it won't matter anyway, nothing matters, it never did and never will.

[mentallyunstablebaddie]

The feminine urge to slam your head against the desk untill blood is all over it

[screamingcryingthrowingupdyinh]

bro? how the fuck is HE SEENZONING ME when he was rude? ITS BEEN 7 HOURS BTW LIKE WHAT????? WHY DOES HE GET TO HAVE SO MUCH ATTITUDE???? IM SO SICK OF HIS CHILD-LIKE BEHAVIOUR I GENUINELY CAN'T DEAK W HIS ASS. So immature and arrogant all the time and for what? because he knows I'll talk to him? im just so tired of feeling this way, feeling like I'm being taken for granted.

[screamingcryingthrowingupdyinh]

would you rather relive your time w

- That one guy that made it seem like he liked you but you guys never dated but you were never just friends and DEFINITELY had something but now he is the biggest dick towards you

Or

- Your ex

PASS THE BOTTLE THE GLOCK AND EVERYTHING ELSE I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE

[screamingcryingthrowingupdyinh]

you DO NOT have to remind me to hit the gym because trust me just looking at myself in the mirror is a reminder in itself. i do want to go to the gym and workout but I'm unaware of what to do and the anxiety of staying unaware, fully alone makes me feel like I'm going to get judged HARD because I'll look like a complete fool.

[screamingcryingthrowingupdyinh]

why the fuck would he say that everytime I sit behind him? does he not realise that I feel like cutting my own skin everytime he says it? saying that the vehicle isn't going faster because I'm sitting truly makes me want to jump on the road and come under a bus.

[screamingcryingthrowingupdyinh]

I need some serious fat loss advice, i don't care how concerning it might be HELP ME THE FUCK OUT. I beg you.

[screamingcryingthrowingupdyinh]

My college starts in 4 days. I've always considered myself to be a fat person, i hate it, but I never actually realised HOW MUCH weight I've gained in the last year. My clothes don't fit me now and I've never felt more disgusted by myself. I want to lose weight, workout, eat less and/or STARVE if i must but i HAVE to get rid of this fat. I started my 11th grade w my weight at 50kgs and now 2 years later I'm at 58. This is the highest my weight has been, i look 4 months pregnant. I need some serious advice to lose fat AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, by that i mean some serious borderline concerning advice because i CANNOT deal with being fat anymore. The sly comments and looks, it makes me want to kill myself. When the fuck will i be able to feel okay with what I am, who I am. When will I be able to feel okay to just exist in my physical form? Will purging help? I eat 2 meals a day, breakfast and lunch. I try skipping lunch whenever possible but I see NO change. It's really bothering me.