Mind Over Madness @screamingsilentsecrets-blog - Tumblr Blog

I no longer felt the pain, no longer blazed with the passionate heat of my fire. My flames no longer danced within, and I had grown cold. Even my eyes seemed to be a bit more grey, robbed of the light that once twinkled in them. I didn’t feel joy, and the things that used to make me happy, the things I used to love…they just didn’t seem to matter anymore. I was no longer drowning in anxiety, for my hurricane had subsided and retreated, sweeping away with it every ounce of hope that had pressed me to go on, leaving absolutely nothing in its wake but a vast empty wasteland plagued with drought.

brittney renée

One day, I realized I had found it, the switch; the one that shuts down your emotions; the one that strips you of everything that makes you human. I had finally found it and I didn't think twice about turning it off.

brittney renée

I'm tired of hiding how I feel. I constantly think about dying. What a relief it will be.

Of course I loved you.

I bared my soul to you. I got on my knees for you. I held you up when I couldn’t even stand, myself. I gave you more of my love, more of my heart, than I ever even considered giving myself. And maybe that was the problem. Maybe that’s why I don’t have you now.

Of course I loved you.

I pushed you away before you could see me destroy myself, but I did not know that you would become my biggest devastation. I said I loved you and I meant it, every time.

Of course I loved you. I still do.

#love #love poem #i love you #i will always love you #brittney renee

I anxiously walk toward you, and with every step I take, my insecurities melt away. You look at me, and I see your beautiful eyes reflecting your gentle soul. I swear we’ve met before, maybe in another life. I feel I’ve known you for years, you’re no stranger to me. My mind says I’m crazy, but deep down, I know this is really happening. I’ve never experienced this before, this unexplainable feeling, this desire so strong to know every piece of you.

brittney renee

My words are silenced by my restless thoughts.

brittney renee

We just met, but I’ve known you forever. Looking into your eyes, my walls crumbled and fell. Our souls are intertwined, not for the first time, and certainly not for the last.

brittney renee

This deplorable belief that I deserved to be used and quickly tossed out began to swell uncontrollably inside of me. An intense hatred developed, not so much for my rapist, but for myself. I had allowed myself to lose control of my body and mind, and this I felt had been my punishment.

brittney renee

I wish I could see what everyone else seems to. I don’t feel at all deserving of the word beautiful in the context of describing my appearance in any way, and when I am complimented on such trivial things, I am still unsure of how to take it. And though I don’t feel it, I’m growing tired of hearing it. I feel as if that’s all people see, making me question everything else I thought I had to offer.

brittney renee

I am enraged, impassioned, and inconsolable; but more than anything, I am inordinately envious. How easy it must be, to feel the pain all at once and then nothing at all.

brittney renee

I can’t help but wonder the final thoughts that were running through his mind as he decided he was no longer strong enough for this life. What was the last thing to make him smile? What were his final words and who did he speak them to? What was the last thing he tasted before the cold steel of his salvation?

brittney renee

With his death, the burden I carried upon my shoulders became so heavy that I wanted to make my escape as well.

brittney renee

I wasn’t there to stop him. I wasn’t there to convince him that life was worth living. I wonder if he knew how much I love him.

brittney renee

My innately inquisitive mind begs to know the answers to questions I don’t even want to think about. I wish I could just push it out of my head, but these thoughts have invaded long ago, infecting my mind with a sick curiosity, the cure for which would probably require the sacrifice of my own life to obtain.

brittney renee

A captive of nightmare, I am tortured by the darkness that swallows me.

brittney renee

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

Mind Over Madness