snippet #23 - The Doppelgänger
“I love you.” On the other side of the bed, Villain was turned toward them. They were wearing their own face instead of Hero’s for the night after it had switched back at sundown.
“No, you don’t,” Hero said with a sigh. “You’re not even a real person. You aren’t capable of loving anyone.”
“Of course I am. That’s all I do, Hero. It’s what I’m made for. That’s the problem with things like me. I love you so much I want to… want to eat you up, to devour everything you have. I want to bite into your whole life and rip it apart. I want it so bad it hurts. I need it like you need air to breathe.”
Hero was silent for a moment, staring up at their bedroom ceiling. “You know how birds have the instinct to migrate?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, it’s stronger than an instinct, really. It’s a pain they feel when it’s time to leave. And the only thing that makes it stop is to move their wings and fly away.”
“I’m like a bird,” Villain murmured. “I don’t want to hurt anyone. Not really. I just… I can’t help it. It’s what I am.”
“Does it feel good?”
“What?”
Hero closed their eyes, hating that they could feel Villain’s focus on them like a searing burn. “When you hurt me.”
A beat passed, and then: “Yes.”
“But you don’t regret it.” “I can’t,” Villain said, and their voice was so small and pitiful that Hero wanted to tear it out of their throat. “I’m sorry, Hero, I wish I could tell you something else.”
“You can’t lie to me. You can steal my face, my life, ruin my relationships, you can cut me, stab me, strangle me, but you can’t lie. What a great freaking deal for me.”
“I can’t harm you without harming myself, you know that.” Every time Villain had ever physically hurt Hero, the same wound had appeared on Villain like a perfect mirror image. It didn’t even matter if Villain was wearing Hero’s face at the moment.
“And I bet you wish you didn’t have that problem, huh?” Hero asked sharply. “Wouldn’t it be so much nicer if you could just kill me and be done with this whole mess? You know you can’t get rid of me, Villain. I won’t make it that easy for you.”
“It’s not supposed to be easy. That’s the point. I’m better at being you than you are, and you know it. It itches at you like a scab, and someday you’re going to rip it off, and you won’t have any choice but to give it to me.”
There was an edge to Villain’s words, a dark rigidity that took Hero aback. They turned onto their left side and met their doppelgänger’s gleaming, too-big eyes.
“You’ll burn it all down and pick up the pieces,” they said slowly. “Take my place. And then what? If I can’t die without bringing you with me, what happens to me then?”
“Oh, you can die,” they said, a tiny, almost wistful smile on their inhuman face. “Once I take your place, I take everything. I won’t be your doppelgänger anymore. You’ll lose your face. It’ll be mine, all mine, and I won’t be able to change anymore. There won’t be anything left for you. Most people kill themselves soon after. It’s not easy, having no face. It might be even harder than having two.”
Despite the comforter over them, a violent shiver ran down Hero’s spine, like their nerves had turned to ice. “I’ll… lose my face?”
Villain nodded. “Poof! Gone.” They grinned. “It’s a little funny, I think. No face. I’ve never gotten to see one before. Remind me to take a picture of you when it happens.”
Hero sat up abruptly, suddenly cold. They pulled the blanket tight up to their shoulders. Villain’s gaze tingled on the side of their face. “It won’t happen.”
“You’ll kill me, then?” Villain said, amused. “You? Even when I stabbed you, I didn’t see that kind of anger in you. You’re soft, Hero. Too soft to murder a part of yourself.”
They looked back, eyes hard. “I’ll do what I have to.”
Villain smirked, holding out an inviting hand. “You’re cute when you’re trying to be serious. Come here.”
“Screw you,” Hero muttered, but they let themself be pulled in anyway.
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