Waking up dry, waking up dusty (Feeling remorse, feeling thirsty)
Summary: Raph wakes up from a nightmare, heart pounding, breath shaking. He's used to pretending he's fine, brush it off and swallowing it down. This time he's not alone.
But maybe he never was.
Title from "Always Ascending" by Franz Ferdinand
(F! Raph x Traximus, lone man au)
He wakes up with a gasp.
A scream choked on his dry throat makes it hard to breathe, tears unshed blur his vision, rising the panic on the back of his mind.
The dream is already slipping away, but the feeling clings onto him like a second skin, panic tightens his chest while his hand tries to claw it open to release pressure. The blanket sticks to his sweaty skin and it's just too much âÂ
âBreatheâ A low, steady voice says.
Raph jumps on his spot, his remaining eye desperately tries to find the voice next to him, heâs half expecting heâll find one of the demons that haunt him in his sleepâ
Instead, he finds Traximus, sitting next to him, hands hovering over his shoulder, unsure if he should break the distance between them. His eyes, dimly lit by the night, wait patiently for him to catch his breath. Â
Raph jerkily nods. His pulse still hammers in his ears, but he forces down gulp through his closed throat and exhales.
In and out.
In and out.
âIâm fine.â he finally rasps out. He almost believes it. Almost. But the shakiness of his voice betrays him, heâs still too winded up, too wired, and Trax sees it. âIt was just a dream.â
Trax shifts in his place, finally resting a hand on Raphâs shoulder, rubbing it in slow, soothing circles. âDoesnât look like a dream to me.â
The triceratonâs voice is steady as ever. Raph clenches his jaw and turns his gaze away, his hand stops clasping his chest to fidget with the blankets.
A long silence stretches between the two of them, neither break it, they both stay.
After a few minutes (or maybe hours, Raph thinks), he finally mutters âItâs stupid.â
Trax doesnât respond; instead he waits for Raph to continue.Â
âWe were back in the⊠Kraang war. Itâ I justââ His voice cracks. âI saw them die again, I could never make it on time⊠They always tried to reach for me butâ I couldnât do anything.â
Raph grips the blankets tighter. âI know itâs not my fault, they made their choices, but I cannot help but think that I⊠that I could've done more: talk to them, hold them back, anythinâ...â
A single tear runs down his face. He quickly wipes it away. He hates this feeling, the phantom weight of things he couldnât stop, he couldnât fix. His breathing, while slower, is uneven, catching on his throat.
âThen I woke up.â
Traximus doesnât respond, he doesnât look away or pretends to not notice. Instead, after a moment of quiet consideration, he moves closer.
Raph doesnât notice when Trax moves just slightly closer. Not looming, not overwhelming. Just there. Solid. Unshakable.
Then he offers a hand.Â
Raph only stares at it. Fist still clutching onto his blanket. He knows what it is. He can pretend he doesnât need it, just shrug it off and bury everything down like he always does.
Orâ
He could take it.
He hesitates, fingers twitch, then slowly he reaches out.
Palms press against each other, calloused fingers rubbing together, gripping onto thick and worn out skin. His digits get caught in the remains of old scars and burns, Traxâs heart aches in sympathy and Raph can feel it, for once, he feels understood.
And something about the way he does it, the certainty, the understanding in his voice, his movements, hits Raph deeper than he expects.Â
A sob escapes his lips, then tears won't stop coming.
Traximus doesnât react much, just stays still, letting Raph set the pace. But there is something grounding about it, about the steady warmth beneath their skin, the quiet, unspoken Iâm here.
After a couple of minutes, Raph exhales, the tension on his shoulders eases just a little.
âYou really donât gotta do this, yâknow.â The snapper says.
âI donât do things I do not wish to do.â
Raph snorts. The ghost of a smile tugs the corner of his mouth, tired but genuine. Trax exhales, slow but deliberate.Â
âI have seen many wars. Many battles.â
The soldier searches for Raphâs eyes, with his free hand he reaches and slowly pulls his face up to meet his own. His thumb wipes a stray tear and takes a moment to absorb Raphâs old and scarred face, he looks so tired and sad but thereâs a spark still in there, willing to keep going and protect his whole world, even if it costs him everything.
âBut the worst ones do not end when the fighting stops.â
Traximus watches him for a moment before shifting. His voice, when he speaks again, is quieter.
âYouâre not alone in this, Raphael.â
He breathes out. âYeahâ The fear is still there, but the weight on his chest feels lighter. âYeah, I know.â
The words linger in the air, settling on Raphâs bones in a way that makes his very core ache, but not in a bad way. In a real way.
They sit in silence after that. A comfortable silence. For a long time, neither of them move.
Raph lets out a long yawn, and subconsciously tries to rub his eyes with his lost arm. The exhaustion is starting to weight on him again, adrenaline wearing out.
Trax hesitates but ever so slowly and gently lowers down on their shared bed, he adjusts the pillows and pats the spot next to him.Â
The snapper lays down, his head rests on Traxâs chest, hearing the heartbeat underneath, it ushers him gently into sleep. Trax does an one armed hug, his hand scratching Raphâs shell between his spikes in a way that the turtle seems to enjoy as he quietly rumbles. He doesnât comment on it.
âYou ever get tired of beinâ right all the time?â Raph nudges. Trax chuckles, shaking his head.
âItâs a great burden, but I manage.â He adjusts his position. âCome on, rest now, you need it.â
With a long sigh, Raph obliges. For a second, he wants to argue. He isnât used to this. Someone else watching out for him. Someone else offering their presence, their protection, their understanding. He wants to say I donât need you to do all of this. But he swallows those words and tells his brain to shut up, because, for once, maybe just this once⊠he does.
âYeah⊠okay.â
Traximus doesnât move, doesnât say anything else.
He just stays.
And somehow thatâs enough.
Raphâs eyes drift closed. Sleep doesnât come easy, but this time, nightmares donât follow.
And when he stirs a few hours later, in that quiet space between dreams and waking, the first thing he sees is Traxâs sleeping form, still there.
For once, Raph doesnât feel alone. And, for once, he lets himself believe that maybe he never was.
Some of my favorite words and phrases to describe a character in pain
coiling (up in a ball, in on themselves, against something, etc)
panting (thereâs a slew of adjectives you can put after this, my favorites are shakily, weakly, etc)
keeling over (synonyms are words like collapsing, which is equally as good but overused in media)
trembling/shivering (additional adjectives could be violently, uncontrollably, etc)
sobbing (weeping is a synonym but iâve never liked that word. also love using sob by itself, as a noun, like âhe let out a quiet sobâ)
whimpering (love hitting the wips with this word when a character is weak, especially when the pain is subsiding. also love using it for nightmares/attacks and things like that)
clinging (to someone or something, maybe even to themselves or their own clothes)
writhing/thrashing (maybe someoneâs holding them down, or maybe theyâre in bed alone)
crying (not actual tears. cry as in a shrill, sudden shout)
dazed (usually after the pain has subsided, or when adrenaline is still flowing)
wincing (probably overused but i love this word. synonym could be grimacing)
doubling-over (kinda close to keeling over but they donât actually hit the ground, just kinda fold in on themselves)
heaving (i like to use it for describing the way someoneâs breathing, ex. âheaving breathsâ but can also be used for the nasty stuff like dry heaving or vomiting)
gasping/sucking/drawing in a breath (or any other words and phrases that mean a sharp intake of breath, that shite is gold)
murmuring/muttering/whispering (or other quiet forms of speaking after enduring intense pain)
hiccuping/spluttering/sniffling (words that generally imply crying without saying crying. the word crying is used so much it kinda loses its appeal, thatâs why i like to mix other words like these in)
stuttering (or other general terms that show an impaired ability to speak â when someoneâs in intense pain, it gets hard to talk)
staggering/stumbling (there is a difference between pain that makes you not want to stand, and pain that makes it impossible to stand. explore that!)
recoiling/shrinking away (from either the threat or someone trying to help)
pleading/begging (again, to the threat, someone trying to help, or just begging the pain to stop)
Feel free to add your favorites or most used in the comments/reblogs!
AND FOR FUCKâS SAKE, ITâS NOT âSIKEâ; ITâS âPSYCHâ. AS IN âI PSYCHED YOU OUTâ; BECAUSE YOU MOMENTARILY MADE SOMEONE BELIEVE SOMETHING THAT WASNâT TRUE.
If youâre talking about a weapons CACHE, itâs pronounced cash.
If you say cashay, thatâs how CACHET is pronounced which means prestige and does not mean a collection of items stored together in a hidden/inaccessible place.
If itâs wet precipitation falling out of the sky, itâs RAIN
If itâs someone ruling over people, itâs REIGN
If itâs holding back someone from (or getting someone to stop doing) something, thatâs to REIN [them] IN (âŠas if you were using REINS on a horse)
HOARD - (n.) a collection of stuff, (vb) to collect a collection of stuff.
HORDE - (n.) a collection, group, mob or host of people, often unruly or barbaric.
PEEL - (n.) the outside skin of fruit, also (archaic n.) a tower house, sometimes spelled PELE; (vb) to remove the outside skin of fruit; by extension, usually as PEEL OFF, to remove clothing, but also (aviation) to break away, one aircraft at a time, from a larger formation.
PEAL - (n.) the sound of several church bells ringing together or in sequence; (vb.) to ring bells in this manner.
BREACH - (n.) a break or opening, usually in a wall; (vb) to make such an opening, also a whale rising clear of the surface of the sea. (The words BREACH and BREAK are distant relatives.)
BREECH - (n.) the bottom end of a gun-barrel, where itâs loaded; also (BREECH PRESENTATION) a baby being born bottom-foremost; also (n. pl.) BREECHES, a historical style of trousers ending just below the knee and (archaic vb) to BREECH, to dress a boy in breeches (adult clothing) for the first time.
itâs easy to get caught up in dialogue or a characterâs internal dialogue and forget altogether that they, too, exist in their own physical world. as authors, itâs primarily our job to convey the exact amount of information: the reader is on a need to know basis, but they also need to know enough to draw their own conclusions. iâll admit, itâs a difficult task, but here are some tips to help set a scene:
- imagine the world from the eyes of your character: how do they see things? do they see the big picture first or are they drawn to smaller details that others donât often notice? whatâs pulling their attention away from the action or their own thoughts?
- breathe life into your scenes: i donât mean the english teacherâs equivalent of âthe curtains were blue means that the character is sad.â iâm talking about the blue filter in Twilight that conveys the âconstant cover of clouds and rainâ and the shift from the Arizona desert to the cool Pacific Northwest. think about all the small details that convey information about a scene and allow the readers to make inferences. if the character walks along a street and the yards shift from overgrown hedges with frayed yard chairs and a birdbath containing a mini swamp to yards with freshly cut grass with white picket fences and ornate wreathes hanging on the doors, youâre providing all of the details for readers to make an inference. context is needed, too, but that will be provided in the whole of your novel or short story. donât be afraid to provide details and use figurative language.
- spread out your details: did you feel bombarded in the last tip? i provided a lot of details quickly, all at once, without spreading them between action, dialogue, or internal dialogue. iâm not going to stop you from being the next J.R.R. Tolkien if thatâs how you like to write, but try not to overwhelm the reader with details all at once. it will feel more natural if you spread things out and allow the reader to feel as if they, too, are with the character in their environment. this is more of a stylistic tip, so take it with a grain of salt and think about what will work best for your novel. always go back to that and to what your character is seeing. how is this all playing out for them? how can you put feeling into the scene?
- place your characters within the scene: where are they in their environment? how are they interacting with the people or objects in it? what do they think about these things? you donât need to tell the reader everything your character does, but provide enough information so that we donât get lost in their movement or stagnation. it helps to have someone else read your work if youâre struggling with this part. if theyâre lost as to where the character is or what theyâre doing, chances are a good portion of your readers will be confused, too. check out your prepositions. are there too many? too few? use them, but donât abuse them.
happy writing! if you need help setting a scene or have any questions, our ask box is always open!
((Iâm so late for this aaa i didnât know how to start this nor how to finish but here ya go, enjoy ;) itâs 1 am))
Vivi massaged her temples frustrated, the screen in front of her eating her brain and questioning her intelligence once again. She sat on the floor, legs closed and back firmly pressed against one side of her bed looking towards the open door of her bedroom at the apartment she and Arthur shared.Â
There she was, hidden among piles of tomes and encyclopedias. Her hands fidgeting with the edges of her sweater and matching skirt as her ocean eyes fixated on her laptop like deadly daggers. Vivi fought to concentrate on the chase, one that shouldnât bother her as much as it did, but the beat of a heart kept stealing her attention like a fire alarm.
Resting on top of her night table, a shiny golden locket drumbed loudly enough to echo on her chest. The girl gave it a quick glance, just a little look to ease the need to open it. Oh, words would never hold enough power to describe how much she hated that anchor.
Vivi could hear the owner of such trinked luring around their kitchen, unbothered by her thoughts, he kept his distance from her after being aware of how she felt towards him. It hadnât been long ago when the wraith (what was his name again?) had rejoined their small group just after he had come to terms with Arthur, they got along fine, both having to get used to each other again but things were working out slowly, painfully slowly, however Vivi wasnât buying any of this, the ghost and her friend told her the most heartwarming stories about the couple they once were, and he sounded like a nice guy, really, but the hatred she had seen on his eyes and the way the ghost had tried to willingly kill Arthur not once but twice didnât mix well.
As for that, the ghost had trusted Vivi his anchor as both a promise and a guarantee.
He (she had his name on the tip of her tongue) had guarantee that he wouldnât try to hurt their scrawny blond mechanic ever again, and if he ever did, she guarded his anchor to perform a clean exorcism and get rid of him for forever; and he also confirmed that she would find the answers to her questions inside of it.
But Vivi was afraid of the truth.
Arthur had tried many times to itch her to open it, Mystery had done the same a few times last month and they had offered her to confirm her memories, just in chase they were incorrect and the ghost tried to brainwash her.Â
Vivi cracked her knuckles and returned back to work, ignoring the loud thum next to her. She pressed the keys harder than before to mute her thoughts but she interrupted herself when she catched her bobbing her head to the rhythm of the anchor. Vivi closed the computer angrily fighting the urge to throw it out of the window and sat down on her bed.
Her eyes landed on the golden heart, imitating the pulse of a real organ. Her hands stretched to welcome it onto her hold but she freezed and withdrawned them to her sides.
What if her world stumbled down again?
What if she realized how wrong she was?
What if she didnât like what she saw?
Vivi couldnât bear to see what she knew fall again. Everything was working out, she was fine with the life she had, why wasnât it enough? It should be enough, why canât it be enough?
Vivi looked at the anchor and wished to rip it in pieces and end her suffering. Her hands once again reached for it and this time she felt the smooth surface on her delicate touch. Her thumb ran across the cover like it was made of glass and found her reflection like a perfect mirror.
âIs everything okay?â A deep voice called from the door forcing her to look up and meet the skeletonâs face. He probably felt her touching his heart.
She bit her lips. âYes, itâs fine,â She assured, placing the locket on her lap. âI just- ahâ
The girl failed to explain herself. âIâm wondering how things were before⊠yâknow.â Vivi moved a little and patted next to her inviting the spirit to sit. He placed himself on the other end of the bed, giving her as much space as he could and did his best to look smaller. âWhat if everythingâs different? How am I supposed to react? What should I do with that? Itâs just too much.â
Viviâs chest tightened as she trailed off inside her mind, maybe she was overthinking it after all, but a large hand on her back gently pulled her off her thoughts before they choked her.
He sighed (or did the equivalent for a ghost) and retrieved his anchor from her grip. âItâs okay if you want to take your time,â the spirit fidgeted a little with the locket on his hands. âand weâre not going to push you to go through that. We were friends once, who says we canât be friends again?â
It wasnât a smile what the ghost pulled but it was close enough, one gentle but awkward smile. Viviâs guess was that it would look better with his human disguise on (the one she couldnât see or sheâll black out.)
She placed her hands on top of his and applied some pressure until she heard a soft click and the anchor opened like a book ready to be read. âBut I want to know what I lost.â
The last came out more like a whisper to her ears, not sure if the ghost had heard her, but Vivi did not care. She guided his hands back to her lap to take a look inside the locket. It contained a single picture of the group, smiling as they never had and squished together to fit in the small frame.
Vivi felt like she had passed through a wall, one by one she saw memories long lost and recent adventures she would have never imagined, it all felt true and right and nostalgic until she was forced back into reality.
She was sitting staring at a wall, crying; the ghost panicking silently next to her unsure to pull her on a hug or lay her on the bed. Vivit turned to look at the wraith, recognition filling her eyes.
âLewis?â She gasped and her world shattered again.
I got pretty fed up with looking for words to replace said because they werenât sorted in a way I could easily use/find them for the right time. So I did some myself.
I DONâT REALLY CARE BUT WHATEVER
Guessed
Ventured
IâM DRUNK OR JUST BEING WEIRDLY EXPRESSIVE FOR A POINT/SARCASM
Hooted
Howled
Yowled
I WONDER
Pondered
Voiced
Wondered
OH, YEAH, WHOOPS
Recalled
Recited
Remembered
SURPRISE BITCH
Revealed
IT SEEMS FAKE BUT OKAY/HA ACTUALLY FUNNY BUT I DONâT WANT TO LAUGH OUT LOUD
Scoffed
Snickered
Snorted
BITCHY
Tattled
Taunted
Teased
Edit: People, Iâm an English and creative writing double major in college; I understand that thereâs nothing wrong with simply using âsaid.â This was just for fun, and it comes in handy when I need to add pizzazz.Â
âor things that iâve found work for me. disclaimer: these may not work for you. take these as only suggestions.
donât let yourself hit backspace. even though you might think what you just wrote is complete trash, itâs still something you wrote. you never know how helpful it might just be - maybe itâll further your story, maybe itâs some character building tidbit, or maybe itâs just pointless fluff. whatever it is, you can save hitting backspace for editing.
if you can write using background music, write to your favorite movie soundtrack! or, use one of the million bgm music videos on youtube. personally, i like to write to âin love with a ghost,â âbiosphere,â or âsnailâs houseâ since they have some really calming songs. that, or the stardew valley ost! it might help you tune out everything going on around you.
try writing in a new place. the feeling of novelty might help refresh your mind. maybe itâs just another place in your room, or another table at the coffee shop you always go to. who knows?
donât forget to take a break. burnout can creep on you and take as long as a year to get out of. things to do on a break: listen to music, go for a walk, play video game, or literally anything else!
rotate wips! of course, this depends on whether or not you want to have multiple wips. iâve found that by rotating wips, iâm able to avoid straight burnout and keep writing, although with a different story in mind. it gives me a break from what i was focusing on, but also doesnât let me forget how to string words together in nice sentences.
set small goals for yourself. whenever i hit a slump, or get burned out, i tell myself iâll write 100 words and then go play a little bit of a video game or read a book. of course, that means i usually end up writing less than i wanted to, but itâs progress towards the goal of climbing out of the slump. usually, i up the amount of words as i grow more comfortable with writing again. i go from 100 words to 150, to 300, and so on.
talk to someone about your wip! i ramble to some of my friends about it and it helps me figure things out. sometimes, i fix a plot hole. other times, i figure out what to do with a character or where i should go next. they can give you some really great input, or just help you along the way.
you donât need to actually write out the part that youâre stuck on. use placeholders! every time i feel stuck, usually i just put a [summary of what is supposed to happen, or what features of the scene i know i want to include] before moving on. it tells me that, when iâm editing, that i need to go back and fill this out. it stops me from burning out as quickly, or losing my momentum.
[ID: A poster titled, âPixarâs 22 Rules for Storytellingâ, with a picture of Dog from the movie âUpâ right in the middle of the page, tilting his head happily.
The rules came from a tweet thread by Emma Coats, one of Pixarâs storyboard artists in 2011. Theyâre copied below from this 2012 Gizmodo article (link). The wordingâs a little different, but the meaning is the same.
The rules are:
â1: You admire a character for trying more than for their successes.
2: You gotta keep in mind whatâs interesting to you as an audience, not whatâs fun to do as a writer. They can be very different.
3: Trying for theme is important, but you wonât see what the story is actually about til youâre at the end of it. Now rewrite.
4: Once upon a time there was ___. Every day, ___. One day ___. Because of that, ___. Because of that, ___. Until finally ___.
5: Simplify. Focus. Combine characters. Hop over detours. Youâll feel like youâre losing valuable stuff but it sets you free.
6: What is your character good at, comfortable with? Throw the polar opposite at them. Challenge them. How do they deal?
7: Come up with your ending before you figure out your middle. Seriously. Endings are hard, get yours working up front.
8: Finish your story, let go even if itâs not perfect. In an ideal world you have both, but move on. Do better next time.
9: When youâre stuck, make a list of what WOULDNâT happen next. Lots of times the material to get you unstuck will show up.10: Pull apart the stories you like. What you like in them is a part of you; youâve got to recognize it before you can use it.
11: Putting it on paper lets you start fixing it. If it stays in your head, a perfect idea, youâll never share it with anyone.
12: Discount the 1st thing that comes to mind. And the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th â get the obvious out of the way. Surprise yourself.
13: Give your characters opinions. Passive/malleable might seem likable to you as you write, but itâs poison to the audience.
14: Why must you tell THIS story? Whatâs the belief burning within you that your story feeds off of? Thatâs the heart of it.
15: If you were your character, in this situation, how would you feel? Honesty lends credibility to unbelievable situations.
16: What are the stakes? Give us reason to root for the character. What happens if they donât succeed? Stack the odds against.
17: No work is ever wasted. If itâs not working, let go and move on - itâll come back around to be useful later.
18: You have to know yourself: the difference between doing your best & fussing. Story is testing, not refining.
19: Coincidences to get characters into trouble are great; coincidences to get them out of it are cheating.
20: Exercise: take the building blocks of a movie you dislike. How dâyou rearrange them into what you DO like?
21: You gotta identify with your situation/characters, canât just write âcoolâ. What would make YOU act that way?
22: Whatâs the essence of your story? Most economical telling of it? If you know that, you can build out from there.â
update: the link should work now! im very sorry abt this haha h
Iâm not sure what most you guys write with these days, if the majority of you are still chugging along with good olâ Microsoft Word or whatever, but let me introduce you to this beauty:
Write! (look at this snazzy sleek website):Â
This is my go to program. Itâs light and doesnât have a five minute start up like Word (or maybe my laptopâs just really clunky and old) and it has these features that make the entire story-building ordeal easier.Â
Seriously, ever since I started using this Iâve been just spewing shit out.
It has both a free and a pro version. The free version is beautiful and efficient just on its own and is the one Iâve been using the longest, but if you want to have your work on all your devices, have a night theme for all-nighters or just have some stylish documents, the pro version is $5 per month. If you can, please support them!
The layout is simple and clutter free, nothing overwhelming. The navigation has an option to give you a visual look on what youâre scrolling through rather than the normal scroll bar, which has saved my eyes from squinting every five minutes.
Its got a standard formatting options but not so many that you feel overwhelmed. Simplicity matters! It also has a handy productivity counter which tracks word/character count, pages, reading time, etc.
There are three window options: compact, standard (size-adjustable) and full screen. I always use full screen but when Iâm multitasking or want watch youtube videos, the window becomes smaller without cramping your work space since it doesnât have a toolbar.
Itâs pretty hard to find this program (at least it was for me haha) cause of its name. Since this is my favourite writing program so Iâm going to spread the word and share it, since it deserves more recognition B^)
Archery information for writers that no one asked for but probably some of you need and I like talking about archery, so here it is.
when you put an arrow on the string, the verb is called ânockingâ i.e. eyes glued on the target, he nocked the arrow
also the part of the arrow that gets put onto the string is called the nock. depending on the type of arrow this can be a piece of plastic glued into the arrow, or with wood or bamboo arrows it can be carved into the shaft of the arrow itself
you do not close an eye when aiming or shooting; you see better with both eyes open.
everyone has a dominant eye that more naturally your brain focuses with. that determines whether you are right or left handed when shooting, and doesnât necessarily correlate to whether the person is right or left handed in anything else
so if youâre writing a character who has difficulty seeing out of one eye, take that into account when they are shooting
if they are right eye dominant, they hold the bow with their left hand and draw the string with their right. if they are left eye dominant, they hold the bow with their right hand and draw the string with their left
if they shoot left, the quiver sits on their left side/hip/thigh. shoot right - right side quiver.
there are several different ways to draw, if you are writing something historical or in a specific region, then do research on that style of archery. but for a generic place to start that is a more universal way of drawing a bow, here are some things to include
the chin stays down. raising your chin will fuck up your aim
the pointer finger on your draw hand rests on the side of your chin/jaw, and the string of the bow will touch the tip of the archerâs nose
weight is on the balls of your feet, leaning slightly forward off your heels
if it is an older bow/barebow, there is not usually a place for the arrow to rest on the bow. this means the arrow rests on the archerâs hand. if they are not wearing a glove on that hand, the fletchings (thatâs the feathers on the arrow) will more than likely slice their hand when firing. this scars.
so if youâre wanting to describe someone observing and archerâs hands (hands are hot, donât @ me) they would see a silver scar about halfway between the pointer finger knuckle and palm of the personâs hand. (turn your hand vertical and trace down the length of your pointer toward your thumb and stop next to the knuckle. that spot there.)
most archers wear something to protect their fingers on the hand that draws the bow. even with that, they have callouses. without it, a lot of callouses, scars, and blisters.
most common draw uses three fingers on the string: pointer, middle, ring. the arrow sits between the pointer and middle. just like where the draw point is, this is not universal and do research if youâre doing something culturally important.
barebow means that the bow is bare of any instruments. no sight, no weights, etc. the most basic/traditional form of bow
a recurve bow is anything where the tips of the bow curve back around forward, away from the archer
a compound is what you think of as a modern hunting bow, and is recognisable by having wheels at the ends and three strings
arrows have three fletchings that form a triangle, the point faces the archer so that the flat of the arrow will pass the flat of the bow on release. the arrow sits on the side of the bow facing the archer
archers with a larger/raised chest will sometimes where a chest protect so that the string does not catch when firing (this is regardless of gender, i know several cis-men who need it as well)
string can also catch on the forearm that is holding the bow and creates bruises and welts if you donât wear a protector. modern ones are small plastic and cover just the spot, with elastic holding it in place. traditional ones are leather and wrap all the way around, lacing up on the back of your arm like a corset.
there is literally so much more, but i feel like this is plenty to get you started, and as always, feel free to drop an ask in my box if you need something more!
Not an expert, but a tidbit of historical trivia I happen to know; âcompoundâ bows just means anything made of more than one part, and is a lot older than modern wheel bows that use the name now. It could also describe bows like those used by Mongol horsemen comprised of both wood and bone, which allowed for a springier, more forceful shot with a smaller profile more suited to shooting from horseback.
Hey, so, I started doing a writeup a week ago about how to get character voices in your fanfic to sound âin character,â in response to a comment from a new writer I was beta-ing for.Â
Iâve been told this is a thing I do well.
As someone who studied dialogue extensively for a theatre degree, I tend to do this reflexively now, and I donât write out each individual step. But I put some thought into how I might break down the process if I was new at it and looking to get better.
I donât think itâs actually that different than an actor studying character accents, except as a writer youâre breaking down meaning rather than sound.
Letâs take a look at what makes dialogue unique to a character. Iâm gonna list these as bullet points first, and then Iâll suggest some exercises to explore these aspects of speech.
Most important aspects - focus on these first
Vocabulary - the words they use. As subset of this:
Complexity of words, which can include:
Syllable length
Likelihood to be used in casual conversation - a character can be very smart and still use very informal language.
Cultural touchpoints
Culture can include pop culture references - think Tony Starkâs nicknames for everyone, i.e. âPoint Breakâ and âUnderoosâ
How in or out of sync the character is with the storyâs setting with regard to both time and place - are they from a different country or era of time than their peers?
Important - Check these out if you have time
How likely the character is to speak their mind vs. change the subject - this could be for any number of reasons, from fear to duplicity
Amount they say / Introvertedness / how reticent they are - This is somewhat related to the above point, but not necessarily, and should be researched from different angles. Subverting a topic is not the same thing as being afraid to talk about it.
Different ways of speaking with different characters - this could be a function of story (i.e. how a character who is captured speaks to their captors as opposed to friends) as well as pure Code Switching
Deep cuts - Advanced aspects of speech
Fluency in the language they are speaking
Accents - You do not have to write a character in an accent, i.e. spell the words differently to show the accent, if you donât want to. It really depends on the piece (usually how light hearted or humorous you want it to be) whether you do or not.
Okay, this is all well and good, you say. But HOW do I incorporate this into my writing?
Dialogue analysis exercise
Find five (or more, but at least five) representative lines from your characterâs canon dialogue.
If they donât speak, donât have five lines, do the best you can. (I imagine other forms of communications can probably also be analyzed in this way, but Iâm gonna focus on dialogue for now.)
These are going to be your key phrases. They need to be from canon and they need to be words that really show off who your character is.
Say the words out loud. Read them again and again. What do they sound / feel like?
What is the average syllable length? How many long words do they use?
Do any words jump out at you as archaic? What about modern pop culture references?
What is a different way they could have said this? Write some alternate versions of this phrase and figure out WHY the character didnât say it this way instead. What is the difference between the canon dialogue and the alternative? Try to be as specific as possible. Itâs as important to know what they wouldnât say as what they would.
Look up any of the more complex words and find some similar ones, with a similar level of complexity. Use a thesaurus you trust and possibly also Wordnik. If your character doesnât use ANY complex words, reflect on that. Why? Whatâs their reason? How does that fit with the rest of their personality?
Think of some other characters from other pop culture pieces who speak in a similar way. It doesnât have to be 100% the same, but if it can help your ear get used to some new-but-different phrases, itâs enough. Youâre training your brain to speak like the character. Start to sort phrases they would say from ones they wouldnât. How do these two characters differ?
Now that you have worked thoroughly through your key phrases, start to imagine these lines said in something other than the original context. What if they were said to a different character? WOULD they even be said? What would change? What would happen if your character was scared / hurt / overjoyed / sick?
Finally, after all that, write some NEW dialogue for your character, either as practice, or right into your fic draft. Keep using your key phrases as a guide and go back to canon as much as you need to! You can do this!
After all of this, you should feel significantly more confident in writing that existing character into your story. Huzzah!
If you found this at all helpful, reblog and / or leave me a note. Iâm curious to hear what you think.
actually Iâm re-reblogging this to add a point: Accent isnât just sounds! It can also be word choice. Dialect occupies a middle zone between âfluency in the languageâ and âaccentâ and is also a point to consider. Someone with a slightly different dialect from the rest of the cast may be perfectly fluent, but make different choices in how to express the same idea.
Take for example the classic example of AAVE that white people donât understand, the habitual be (disclaimer Iâm an armchair linguist white guy my usage may not be perfect, Please Consult A Black Sensitivity Reader Before Using AAVE):
AAVE:Â âHe be looking out the window for the mail in the afternoon.â
âStandardâ American English: âHe looks out the window for the mail every afternoon,â or even âHe spends every afternoon watching out the window for the mail.â
Dialect has a huge overlap with the bit OP said about considering whether theyâre a cultural outsider, because itâs so often culturally based, moreso than just accent. Thereâs also idioms to consider, but honestly I could spend a whole post discussing idioms and idiom-craft as regionalisms.
FINALLY, unrelated to the above: This is also a really good checklist to work through to keep your original characters from all sounding the same! When youâre first starting out making your own characters especially, you might not have a strong sense of voice that isnât your own authorial voice. Doing this exercise with fandom characters can help you build voice awareness in general, even if youâre not a fanfic writer, and then returning to the guidelines and things to consider can help you build original characters with believable, not-all-the-same dialogue.
Iâve had a rough morning and Iâm riled up so hereâs my two cents. Repeat: my two cents. I do not claim to speak for or represent the beliefs of everyone with a disability.
INCLUDE CHARACTERS WITH DISABILITIESÂ
[Canât believe Iâm still saying this but here we are]Â
No, not âdisabled charactersâ, put your character before their disability but include it nonetheless. People with disabilities exist in real life, out in the world, living and breathing and going about their days in the same spaces as able-bodied people. No their disability does not have to further the plot because thatâs not how life works. If you want realism, include characters with disabilities. Weâre all around you. I guarantee you know several people with disabilities even if you donât think of them that way.
âBut a disabled person canât be a soldier/mercenary/other badass fighty character which is apparently all I include in my story!â
A) Yes they can. If youâre only aware of physical disabilities that completely limit a personâs mobility, youâre not aware of the diversity of disabilities or the mobility aid options and itâs time to do some research. Peg leg, bionic eyes, arm made of gears and pneumatics-based imitation tendons for each individual finger, magic potions or holistic treatments for chronic pain management, mental disabilities, someone who has a disability but is in remission. Get. Creative. These people exist and function in the same spaces as your perfectly able-bodied soldiers/mercenaries/various badasses.
B) Letâs say they canât. Letâs say, for whatever reason, your badasses must only be completely physically and mentally abled. Do you not have medics? Blacksmiths? Ammunition and weapons experts/providers? Pilots? Family members back home that your badasses fight for and return to once a month? What about the bar/tavern/club/restaurant/dining tent your badasses regularly visit - are there no servers or cooks or bartenders that they talk to? Hell, a prostitute with a missing arm or severe ADHD. Are you really telling me you donât think itâd be fun, and beyond handy, to have a magic healer who happens to be paralyzed from the waist down in your crew whoâs constantly cracking jokes and shutting down shitty behaviour? Sure they may not fight because your fighters are only perfectly abled, but damn are they good at the fix-up after.
âBut I donât want to write a sob storyâ
Yikes. Well, good news, you donât have to. People with disabilities can be ridiculous and funny and fun in general and it doesnât always revolve around their condition. However, they will make jokes about their condition and, given the right people, can be joked with about it. âThe right peopleâ varies person to person, but I find for the most part itâs close friends and family members who act as strong supports and will also joke about things outside of the personâs disability. For this, you may want to talk to real life people with disabilities. Seriously, weâre everywhere. If you built rapport, many of us would be happy to tell you if a joke/situation is offensive even within the context of goofing around with a friend. Hell, some of us (ex. me) would be willing to answer questions from a total stranger if itâs in the name of providing education and support on writing a character with a disability.Â
[in which my best friend is a gift and figured out reassuring me I wasnât a burden wasnât working so she settled on calling me her favourite burden]
âBut I donât always want to be talking about their disabilityâ
You. Donât Have. To. Itâs almost like, with all character traits/quirks/identifiers, it happens occasionally and within context.
____
She bowed her head low and bent her elbows at funny angles, tying her hair up quickly so she didnât have to hold her arms up for long.
âBad shoulder day?â
âYeah, kept me up all night.â She dropped her hands, straightened up, and stretched her neck, rolling her head side to side. âAlright. Letâs do this.â
____
Washing bitter pills down with even more bitter coffee, he went over his tasks for the day. Dry cleaning, groceries, bank, assassination. Easy enough.
____
âThey canât take the stairs. Weâre leaving them behind.â
âOr, you inconsiderate rat bastard, we could find an alternate route. Youâre not getting through security without them. Theyâre coming.â
TL;DR, itâs not hard to throw in the realities of living with a disability every few chapters, or whenever relevant.
Lastly, the topic of using the word(s)Â âdisabled/disabilityâ and naming a diagnosis.
This, for me, isnât really a big thing. I can understand how it is for some people, and Iâm a fan of it but I donât consider it a necessity. Some people want to see the word âdisabilityâ used in order to take away its stigma. Some people want to see diagnoses named for the sake of completely being able to purely relate to a character. I understand that. Iâm not bashing that. This is just my opinion. Personally, I donât see the need, especially in fantasy settings or scifi or general other-world where conditions may not have the same names or treatments as they do in real life. If you make it clear that your character has a disability, show the symptoms and the ways in which they cope/manage/adjust to carry on with their lives, show their ups and downs and condition management, thatâs enough for me.
This might be the area that you upset and offend some people. Someone might get mad that you used the word âdisabledâ, some might get mad that you didnât. Some might get upset that you âmade upâ your own condition, some might get upset that you named a diagnosis and didnât portray it in a way they felt was accurate. Unfortunately, thatâs the reality and your choice to make which group you want to potentially upset. Do your research, do your best to be sensitive, make an informed decision. Ultimately, I donât think Iâm alone in saying Iâd rather see characters with unnamed disabilities portrayed in a positive way than not portrayed at all.
Please, include characters with disabilities. It can actually contribute to the realism of your stories and you might be surprised how fun it can be to write.
pixelskylines
yousharknotpass
izzy806
janainaart
romaincrisis
origamiaround
discoholicmusic
blakekathryn
stormborns
