vaguely human shaped

Too tired and too old for this shit. she/they

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Don't Bring Me Flowers

I seem to be unable to write anything new these days.

Do not bring me roses red as blood.

I cannot see them, for I have died.

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https://archiveofourown.org/works/80926536/chapters/217647966

yay, I posted the next chapter of my Iorveth torture porn.

Enjoy, I guess!

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Iorveth is having a very bad, not good at all, horrible day.

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An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

An extra story to my modern Continent Witcher fanfic. Iorveth was imprisoned at Drakenborg, and he's not having a good time. It's very graphic; I made myself sick writing this.

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Geralt: I sleep with both my swords next to me. Jaskier: I sleep with a knife. Roche: Both of you are pathetic. Jaskier: Oh yeah? What do you sleep with? Roche: Iorveth.

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Geralt: Why is Roche crying on the floor? Jaskier: He's drunk. Geralt: And? Jaskier: He saw a picture of Iorveth's partner. Geralt: But he is Iorveth's partner. Jaskier: I know.

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Iorveth x Roche fanfiction

I am writing an extra short story about the background of my Witcher modern AU (Fuck this shit (let's start a riot) - I did write in Iorveth's backstory that he was a political prisoner... (I have a horrible writer's block and am unable to continue with ANY story I have in progress and the only thing that works is writing new ones...)

Anyway, I did research about POWs in the present, and it made me profoundly depressed.

This will not be a nice story, I am afraid.

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I have NOT written another chapter yet (mostly due to me having a full time job and also a shit ton of plants and cats to take care of), but I have made a playlist for my Vernon/Iorveth fanfic! I listen to it on my commute and daydream about writing.

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Geralt: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth? Roche: You're a hazard to society Iorveth: And a coward. DO TWENTY.

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Geralt: Look at the sunset. Roche: It’s beautiful. Iorveth: It reminds me of the fire I started last week.

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Iorveth: Come on, I wasn't that drunk last night. Geralt: You were flirting with Roche. Iorveth: So what? He's my partner. Geralt: You asked them if they were single. Iorveth: Geralt: And then you cried when he said he weren't.

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Iorveth: *Screams* Roche: *Screams louder to establish dominance* Geralt: Should we do something? Jaskier: No, I want to see who wins.

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Roche: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me Iorveth: Okay, but in my defense, Geralt bet me 50 crowns I couldn’t drink all that shampoo. Roche: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!

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Iorveth: If Roche and I were drowning, who would you save? Geralt: You two can’t swim? Roche: It’s a hypothetical question, Geralt! Who would you save? Geralt: My time and effort.

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Iorveth, setting down a card: Ace of spades Roche, pulling out an Uno card: +4 Geralt, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you Jaskier, trembling: What are we playing

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Iorveth: Why are your tongues purple? Geralt: We had slushies. I had a blue one. Jaskier: I had a red one. Iorveth: oh Iorveth: Iorveth: OH Roche: Roche: You drank each other's slushies?

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Iorveth: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time? Roche: The car takes a screenshot. Geralt: For the last time, get the fuck out.