So it's not a question that Jean was tortured in the nest. and I'm damn sure he would have been waterboarded at least once, if not regularly.
I kinda want to see him struggling with cleaning himself. He's so used to using a sponge and a bucket of water in the shower. Standing at the far end, farthest away from the shower head, and cleaning himself that way. It's always a quick endeavor; being that close to a water spout puts him on edge. And it's not a secret to Jeremy, Cat, and Laila - Jean only does a quick rinse in the showers in the locker rooms, taking the one that has a removable wand, and never letting it get it near his face. He showers at home and washes his hair at home. They never see him with wet hair. He disappears for the rest of the evening when he cleans his hair. He locks Jeremy out of the bedroom for at least four hours, and then is stoic and silent and not even making his usual snarky comments when he finally lets him in for the evening. But Jean will always grab Bark Bark after those times and set the cardboard cut out he claims to despise right against the head of his bed, and he falls asleep looking at Bark Bark's face.
Jeremy finally gets the nerve to ask Kevin, and he quietly explains that Jean would get waterboarded sometimes as punishment. For menial issues. If The Master decided a beating wasn't enough, he had Riko and Kevin hold Jean to a chair as he was punished.
Jeremy doesn't speak to Kevin for a while after that. He knows, realistically, Kevin couldn't do anything where he was - it would've ended with both of them being waterboarded or worse. But the anger he feels, that Jean went through all of that alone, without support, and had to have someone he loves part of the process... so he starts researching hydrophobia. They change out the shower head to be a wand, with an extra long hose, so Jean can put it outside of the shower when he's cleaning himself. Jeremy hangs back from practices with Jean an extra thirty minutes so when they head into the locker rooms the shower Jean prefers is free without a doubt. He makes sure to always be within his line of sight while he's showering, hands visible and towel free.
And then one day Jean very quietly asks Jeremy for help washing his hair. "It will be quicker if you do the water. Please." His breath is caught in his throat as he steps into the half-stall, takes the wand, and waits for instructions. Jean bends forward, his shoulders shaking, but there is already shampoo in his hands. He takes a deep, steadying breath, and then whispers for Jeremy to do it.
He freezes up, just for a moment, before saying, "I'm going to touch you, Jean." He waits for the younger man to nod before setting a hand against his shoulder. He taps touches along the shape of his head before biting his lip as he rests the side of his hand against Jean's brow line. "Are you sure you want to go this way? Bending backwards would keep it off your face."
"Less exposed," is all Jean replies, his voice quiet, trying not to let it waver.
Jeremy makes a sound of understanding and uses the hand holding the wand to grab the knob. "It's away from your face. I'm going to turn the water on." Jean nods once, one hand reaching to take hold of Jeremy's wrist closest. He flinches slightly at the sound of the water and squeezes Jeremy's wrist a little tighter. They stay like that, listening to the water hit the tile wall before trickling down the drain. They wait, Jeremy waits, until Jean lets go of his wrist and lets out a long breath.
Jeremy brings the wand around and lets the water hit his shoulder before he quickly brings it around and sprays across Jean's hair. He uses his hand against Jean's forehead to try and block water from falling in his eyes. Three quick passes, and his hair is soaked. Jeremy turns off the water briefly as Jean quickly scrubs the shampoo into his hair. He holds his hands out in front, and Jeremy turns the water on. He rises Jean's hands before going back to his hair.
"Please help," Jean asks softly.
Jeremy steps in a bit closer and pulls his hand from Jean's forehead. "Cover your eyes." He waits for the younger man to comply before running the wand side to side in quick stripes, combing his hand through dark hair, easily coaxing out the shampoo. Once his hair is clean, Jeremy turns off the water and combs both hands through, squeezing any excess from Jean's hair. "No towel, right?"
"No towel," Jean confirms. He stands to his full height once Jeremy has finished, and blinks a few times. He is breathing a bit rapidly still, but his shoulders and hands aren't shaking like they normally are.
Jeremy offers him an encouraging smile. "You did great."
"I have been working on it. I want to be part of the team. I want to have conversations after practice in the locker room. I enjoy everyone's jokes," Jean says quietly. He seems to be warring with his next question, so Jeremy waits him out. He strips down, out of his damp gear, and starts his own shower. Jean leans against the tile wall, still sharing the space despite the flow of water. Jeremy feels something close to pride blooming in his chest at Jean's improvement in just under a year since being with them. "Jeremy?"
"Would you be comfortable to help me wash my hair like that every time?"
The blond looks up, water hitting his face, but nothing can stop his grin. "Anything you need, J."
"It won't make you feel awkward?"
Jean nods and then quietly asks, "Would you be able to help me request to always be able to use this shower? Just until I improve more. I know Nabil prefers it."
"I know he'd be happy to help you, especially if it means a chance at Jean bonding time," Jeremy says with a smile as he rinses the shampoo from his hair. "Do you want to ask him with me there, or would you like for me to ask?"
Jean falls quiet once again, mulling it over and staring at his feet. Jeremy leaves him to his thoughts, running a loofah across his skin, enjoying the gentle friction, the barely there scratches.
"Would it be okay for you to ask but me be there?"
Jeremy blinks away the fogginess, the comfort of the shower and the relaxation the mindless tasks bring him. He nods once, and then frowns. Jean doesn't get to experience this. The comfort of water pounding against skin, the feeling of it cleaning away literal and figurative grime clinging to his body. He doesn't get to enjoy those little tremors of the first trickles of water against his scalp, electricity pinging down his spine, water quick to follow its path. The comfort of a shower, of cleaning himself and stepping out fully refreshed. "Jean?"
"I'm going to help you as much as I can. Whatever you want or need, I will do it. Even if it means washing you by hand myself. I want you to be able to enjoy showers."
There's a long pause before Jean speaks again. Jeremy doesn't mind; he uses that time to rinse the soap from himself. When he shuts off the water, Jean finally speaks once more.
"I am jealous of how you look after you bathe. Your smile is softer and your eyes sparkle, you are always so relaxed and comfortable. I want that."
Jeremy nods. "I want that for you, too. Let's work on it, yeah? First, though, we've got to change and get outside for the barbecue. Cat is going to kick the door in soon if we take any longer."
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