sap post for kim kibum who’s my ultimate bias but for some reason i rarely write extensive sappy posts for him:
dear lord i’d give so much for this man, both as an lgbt kpop fan and as a mentally ill kpop fan who is pretty passionate about reducing the stigma around mental illness. how many people get to boast that their idol has personally helped their fans stop self-harming? and has been open about their own experience with depression and self-harm?? and has now been completely honest about his experience with ptsd??? it’s not like these traumas are something to celebrate in the slightest but to know that even the strongest people you idolize have also lived through incredibly hard times is comforting. especially in an environment like the kpop industry where everybody seems perfect, we need more kim kibums to be real and a little messy sometimes but still come out on top cause he’s really always prioritizing himself and doing his best for himself
and the diva in him… i love. i like to call him a bitch cause that’s my favorite term of affection but honestly there’s not a bitchy bone in his body and i will fight people over that. so much of his humor is him shading people but we know he doesn’t mean it. he’s literally been mothering 4 other boys his age since high school!! you gotta know how to stand up for yourself to pull off something like that! and i always talk about his honesty policy but i really think it’s so admirable.. he knows that brutal honesty is sometimes too much for those who aren’t used to it but his closest friends seem to really appreciate his honest personality even when it stings. i truly believe that 100% honesty does more good than hurt and kibum would rather proudly buzz his hair and get made fun of for it than not take fun risks on his own journey of self-discovery. he told us to make ugly art if that’s what makes us happy and i’m so goddamn proud of that!! he wants us to find our passions and to never hide who we are!! ever since he debuted he’s been growing braver and braver every day. and the calling out annoying fans and the standing his place in arguments… he’s strong willed and he’s ruthless but so soft and kind at the same time. makes me feel all this motherly affection for him
he may not be a hugger and he may look pissed off sometimes when he’s had a long day but you can also see exactly how grateful he is to be a part of shinee. my favorite cool diva is also my favorite softie who will cry during monumental concerts or winning big awards or just calling his grandma on the phone when he hasn’t seen her in a while. he’ll read arisa for giving him ugly ass uggs for a gift but that’s only cause he’s got a great sense of humor and he rarely takes himself too seriously. he did the art for the misconceptions album and he’s more of a trendsetter than any kardashian (definitely not true but i’m biased so i can say that)!! also, not to forget how he’s so skilled and so hardworking! he’s undoubtedly one of the best english-speaking korean native idols i know of—and his humor is just as good in english as it is in korean (that “my gucci burned” ment will never not destroy me). he can land any girl group choreo after one watch and shinee all say he’s the quickest at memorizing choreo. and he can sing… ngl his tone is a little outside my taste but no doubt he has a strong voice and can hold a high ass note in falsetto whenever he feels like it.
oh kim kibum. you’re the most talented and the bravest and i wish you weren’t so down on yourself. i admire his courage in admitting that he truthfully doesn’t think he’s very attractive but like… he’s wrong and his personality is also a million times more relevant than his looks will ever be. he deserves an industry that isn’t so hyperfixated on beauty so he can serve high fashion and bold and weird and not ever have to hold back on who he wants to be. i love him for loving gaga and calling his fans his little freaks. that part in one fine day/surprise vacation where he called himself stupid for being anxious is always gonna haunt me cause anybody who’s dealt with anxiety knows it makes you feel terrible about yourself but honestly it’s a big part of life that many people deal with and i’m so happy he’s able to overcome it.
overall i just wanna say that i’m a stronger person as a locket and i don’t ever wanna stop being my true self, no matter how ugly that sometimes is. seeing these idols with similar dreams as me and similar obstacles means i know now that i can achieve those if i really focus on myself and the love i give like shinee always does. man im just bursting with love today!!!.
