Dad-inar this, Father figure that. As much as we like to joke about this signing adoption papers for all the stormlight characters, and even actively doing so for Kaladin, Dalinar is a completely unfatherly person.
I'm not talking about the time when he was an alcoholic, by the way, or even the fact he soent so little time with his children because he was off comitting war crimes, to the point of not even remembering Renarin's name (though that does contribute to that).
Dalinar isn't at all compationate. He sees his sons having a hards time and doesn't do anything about it. I'm not saying he doean't love them or care for them - he does - but he watches from the sidelines as they struggle. Renarin with his epilepsy, feeling constantly not good enough or unworthy because he can't fight, and then being uncomfortable when he got his shardplate and shardblade, and just brushing it off. Even when he becomes a Radiant, and still feels out of place because of his corrupted Spren, Dalinar just kinda keeps avoiding him, even when Renarin has a vision he doesn't really want to go see him about it. Sure, we can say he doesn't trust Odium and believes the visions to be from him, but he doesn't even try to comfort or encourage Renarin, who is out there fighting alongside him in this war. The obly time he complements Renarin, btw, is in his own thpughts, when he heala Adolin in Oathbringer finale.
Samw with Adolin. He sees his son struggle with relashinships his entire life, frothing at the mouth at the idea of battles and duels, much like Dalinar was at his age, and what ultimately ruined him, and he doesn't try to explain this to Adolin. He doesn't offer him advice, sympephise with him, hear out his concerns. Even when he was a child, we see Dalinar really notica Adolin when he shares interest in millitary tactics or fighting, even though his inner monologue is affectionate, he slips his mind the moment the topic shifts from war. He even scoffs at Adolin was wearing a differently designed uniform, which he complements years later in RoW, or adressing his as Father instead of Commander.
He isn't fatherly rowards other characters as well. He shared his grief with Jasnah, when she reads him the Way of Kings, but he doesn't offer her condolences or support or even a shoulder to cry on, following Gavilar's funeral. He can see Kaladin is way over his head and still ignores it and doesn't inquire how to sort things out, if he can reliece some of the duties off of him, because he's the Stormblessed, and when Kaladin breaks, he dissmissed him immidiatly. No care, no offer to listen to prevent the issues in the future. Even when he sees Kal clinging to the side of the tower as Dalinar passes via a Higstorm vission, and Kaladin is litteraly dying before his eyes, he extorts him for information, and then thinks "well, he's got most of the situation under control".
Even with baby Gavinor, he practices swordfighting with him, but when the child is triggred by something, due to his horrible trauma and wants to go to bed to be alone with his thoughs, Dalinar looks at him in bed, clearly knowing the kid needs compation and support, and offeres him nothing. Just goes.
He isn't fatherly. He's a strong leader, and thinks like a millitary man, which makes sense, but he's very much not a father figure
