EVEN MORE ABSOLUTELY UNHINGED COMEDIC RELIEF
ASSORTED SENTENCE STARTERS FROM AROUND THE INTERNET, including quotes from Tumblr, Pinterest, TikTok, and X (formerly known as Twitter), for when a muse wants to lighten up the situation at hand.
CHANGE gendered words and in-universe phrases as needed.
SPECIFY muse for multimuses.
βΒ Β Itβs sea shanty time once again my fellow bastards of the ocean! β
βΒ Β Partner, I reckon that I ainβt been feeling very yeehaw lately. β
βΒ Β I donβt study; I consult the lore. β
βΒ Β Yeah, I understand women β they all want daggers and swords. Itβs all quite simple, really. β
βΒ Β Lord forgive me but I may have to make a nonessential purchase. β
βΒ Β Those are bold words for someone in stabbing range. β
βΒ Β Yes Iβm a gatekeeper and a hater. Iβm also Godβs most favorite princess and the most interesting girl in the world. β
βΒ Β My primary motivations are fear, spite, and aesthetic longing. β
βΒ Β Man β if I had a sword, I wouldnβt be worried about shit. β
βΒ Β Itβs not blood that runs through these veins but glitter gel pen ink. β
βΒ Β If I was in a Jane Austen novel, I would be the one sent to the seaside for my health. β
βΒ Β Half of me is a hopeless romantic, and the other half of me is β¦ well β¦ an asshole. β
βΒ Β I am the nicest, sweetest, most rage-filled person I know. β
βΒ Β I hope I give off the vibe to all animals that I am their ally and their friend. β
βΒ Β I see youβre paying attention to someone who is not me. Why is that? β
βΒ Β Normalize letting me talk without making any sense. β
βΒ Β Donβt care, didnβt ask, plus my psychic visions have predicted the outcome of this encounter. β
βΒ Β I could be so much worse. For example, I could start acting like my father. β
βΒ Β Sorry for acting so strange and irregular; It will happen again. β
βΒ Β i love sitting in my room.....alone....a girl in her cave....scheming and plotting and drinking tea. β
βΒ Β These man made horrors are beyond YOUR comprehension. I get it though. β
βΒ Β Iβm a goth girl on the inside. On the outside? A father figure. β
βΒ Β I donβt need to face reality; Iβm not just that type of girl. β
βΒ Β DO I LOOK LIKE I GIVE A frickle-frackle? β
βΒ Β Iβm about to cha cha real smooth off a fucking cliff. β
βΒ Β Sorry I told you about my trauma. Do you still think Iβm hot? β
βΒ Β My priorities arenβt straight and neither am I. β
βΒ Β I have felt permanently guilty for no reason since I was like eight years old. β
βΒ Β Of course I have a lot of pent up rage, you fool! Iβve been the same height since I was twelve years old! β
βΒ Β I was born for shock value. β
βΒ Β Good morning! God has let me live another day and Iβm about to make it everyoneβs problem. β
βΒ Β Oh, I slept miserably because I was tormented by terrible visions all night. I hope none of them were prophetic! β
βΒ Β Be the surreal nonsense that you want to see in the world. β
βΒ Β Being smart has never stopped me from being a complete fucking idiot. β
βΒ Β My hobbies include knowing things and being right. β
βΒ Β This is good advice, but donβt tell me what to do. β
βΒ Β I hate the idea of authority. What the fuck is someone being superior to me? Bitch Iβm gonna take your kneecaps. β
βΒ Β Stop forgiving my crimes! I worked so hard on those! β
βΒ Β My hobbies? Uhhhh, symbolism mostly. Metaphors and implications and the like. β
βΒ Β I may not have any braincells, but I make up for it by having many heart cells. β
βΒ Β I canβt mansplain manipulate manwhore my way out of this one guys! β
βΒ Β Not all your life decisions have to be smart. Some can be purely for cinematic value. β
βΒ Β Sometimes I wish I looked more fragile and feminine like a dainty flower, but I do enjoy looking like I hate everyone. β
βΒ Β Any dream can be a prophetic dream if youβre willing to do some really weird shit. β
βΒ Β girl help there is not enough enrichment in my enclosure. β
βΒ Β BRO, you NEED to stop SUMMONING DEMONS in the FRAT HOUSE. β
βΒ Β I just gave your address to some spiders! β
βΒ Β I disappoint my father as a hobby now. β
βΒ Β I think that the dark circles under my eyes add to my aesthetic actually. β
βΒ Β Good news! Iβve successfully replaced all of my emotions with jokes! β
βΒ Β I have half a braincell left and Iβm very scared to use it! β
βΒ Β Listen, son β in this world, itβs either yeet or be yeeted. β
βΒ Β I appreciate the advice, but I think that Iβm old enough to make my own bad decisions. β
βΒ Β Iβm disappointed in me too. Yβall arenβt special. β
βΒ Β Running from your demons is the best exercise! β
βΒ Β Sorry; I canβt commit any crimes with you. My mom says that I have to study. β
βΒ Β Time flies when you donβt know what the fuck is going on. β
βΒ Β If I run out of tacos, I can no longer maintain my human form. β
βΒ Β Bestie, I donβt think that I can girlboss under these conditions. β
βΒ Β Yeah Iβve had combat training; I can do anxiety attacks! β
βΒ Β Swag is earned, not learned. β
βΒ Β Contrary to popular belief, violence solves a lot. β
βΒ Β I CANNOT STAND YOU ALL so I will SIT DOWN. β
βΒ Β Please God no β¦ I donβt need any more character development right now! β
βΒ Β If you canβt beat βem, yeet βem. β
βΒ Β Do not put me in a situation. Iβm at my limit and I am very tired. β
βΒ Β I may be depressed, but at least Iβm not basic. β
βΒ Β Itβs MY LIFE and Iβll sabotage it myself, thank you. β
βΒ Β Think twice? Bold of you to assume that I think once. β
βΒ Β At the next inconvenience, I will start biting people. β
βΒ Β Oops I think that I just experienced an emotion. β
βΒ Β Did you know that rats spelled backwards is star? β
βΒ Β One day, Iβll be reincarnated as a pigeon, and Iβll shit on your head. β
βΒ Β On the outside, Iβm a baddie β but on the inside, Iβm a saddie. β
βΒ Β My grandma bullies me through the Ouija board. β
βΒ Β Iβm a cool person if you can just look past my personality. β
βΒ Β Beetles donβt have to do taxes, and I think that is a beautiful way to live. β
βΒ Β I hope that you get your character development arc soon. β
βΒ Β Those are some nice kneecaps β¦ Itβd be a shame if someone stole them β¦ β
βΒ Β Iβve wanted to be a trophy wife ever since I was a little boy. β
βΒ Β Iβm done being baby; I want POWER β
βΒ Β Wait, βJust Standing There Ominouslyβ doesnβt count as socializing? β
βΒ Β Yes I am smart, and yes, I am stupid. Itβs called being flexible. β
βΒ Β I am NOT delusional!!!!! I am OPTIMISTIC! β
βΒ Β I deserve compensation for not being the menace to society that i could be, like i'm skipping out on a lot of fun here. β
βΒ Β Do not ask me if you should or shouldn't do something !!! Before I am a friend I am an enabler !!! β
βΒ Β i am the WORLDS PRETTYIST PINK PRINCESS and im gonna KILL YOU WITH MY HUGE FUCKING HAMMER β
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