PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@sectionchiefhotchner
I was afraid something had happened to you! Cannot wait to see what you have planned for Hotch!!!
OOC: I’m not going to lie, I’m crazy busy and honestly don’t have a lot of time, that being said, I still love playing Hotch and getting in his head.
Hotch/Reid moments.
Requested by ssadrblake.
Requested by Anonymous
#no but i really like this scene#because it shows that reid is aware of his tendencies to ramble#and hotch doesn’t stop him or anything#reid stops himself#and hotch is just very simple#confirming not condemning#whereas everyone else looks at reid mystified hotch knows that there’s a point#and will wait as long as he has to because it’s important that reid’s heard#but at the same time recognises that sometimes they just don’t have the time#look i just have a lot of feelings about them okay? (via drinkupthesunrise)
OOC: This is EVERYTHING
late night office work aka insomnia (Hotch/Reid)
Spencer went absolutely red when Aaron taunted him about ending up in the backseat. But each squeeze to his hand was returned with equal strength and the edge of Spencer’s thumb soon pushed against the outside of Aaron’s hand making little patterns back and forth over his skin. Letting silence fill up the car, the young genius let his head fall to the side against the panel of the SUV next to the window so he could watch the city go by in a blur. A smile that couldn’t be wiped off his mouth under whatever cost was on his face the entire time.
Once they were in the familiarity of his neighborhood (though all of DC had become familiar to him with his trips on the train, buses and cabs by now), he finally sat straight in his seat again and gave a sideways glance towards Aaron to watch him as he drove. Studying him as Aaron’s eyes were directed at the traffic they were going past, Spencer burrowed his brows in thought. Nothing sour in his expression. Just thoughtful. How much did Aaron understand that he now needed him around? That being gone those weeks and their schedules being shit before he left was taking a toll on him? More than once, a comment was made on how he was brooding or moody. And it took a conscious effort to make it stop. Yeah, they might have chalked a lot of it up to Blake leaving but there was more on top of those reasons.
Was Spencer Reid pouting?
Maybe..
Probably..
Fine. He was.
Anyway. No reason for that now. They were together and that’s what mattered. The car soon pulled into the parking space for his apartment that was only occupied by visiting company (which usually meant JJ or Garcia who stopped by or Aaron himself) since he’d left his own car back in Vegas years ago. He’d kept telling himself he was going to bring it back but ever since the trip to Gideon’s cabin and the few short months he kept it after that? Spencer just didn’t feel like driving anymore. And he really didn’t need to.
Once the car was shut off, Spencer squeezed Aaron’s hand one more time before he let it go and unbuckled his seatbelt then grabbed his satchel. Out of the car, he waited for Aaron to catch up, gave him one of those small, content smiles and took the lead to the door where he unlocked the entrance and then started up the three flights of stairs that lead to his apartment at the very top and to the right. The keys rattled in his hand as he found the one for his apartment (Aaron could see his hands shake, he was just as anxious to be out of there as Aaron was only Spencer showed it more physically than Aaron did). One lock, then another was undone until the door was swung open to a dimly lit with an amber glow in the sconces lining the deep forest green walls of his apartment. His bag hit the floor with a thud, when Aaron was clear of the door, Spencer’s heel nudged it closed and he turned to face Aaron. Not two seconds later, a set of slender arms were wrapped around Aaron’s broad shoulders and Spencer hugged him tight enough that he had to bury his head into Aaron’s neck to fit right.
Yeah, he missed him.
Maybe just a little..
Aaron followed Spencer with long strides that spoke of someone confident and in a powerful position. He didn't flinch when a neighbor cracked her door to watch Spencer open his door and he didn't flinch when she looked at him with eyes that read of suspicion. Aaron simply nodded with a gentle smile then headed into Spencer's apartment with him, hoping the woman had ear plugs because he was going to make damn sure that everyone who wasn't would know that Spencer Reid had been missed by the man who was in a relationship with him. He turned as Spencer's satchel dropped with a thud and just as he was preparing to ask if the young man wanted coffee or something, he found himself wrapped in long limbs with a face buried into his neck.
There he was.
The Spencer that had long ago found his way into Aaron's heart. Aaron cradled him gently and kissed the man's temple. "Hi." He rubbed Spencer's back, holding on as long as he needed to before stepped back and pushing his hands through Spencer's hair, holding his head between his hands and looking into his eyes, "I missed you too, you know." He leaned in and kissed him again, softer this time with meaning and depth before he pulled back and murmured softly, "I thought... before you left I thought that we'd lost this, that I'd lost you..." He shook his head as their eyes connected and he swallowed thickly, "I've lost too many people that I love. I'm not adding you to that list, Spencer. We will make this work."
He barely recognized what he'd admitted to him as they stood in Spencer's foyer, with no romantic preamble like he'd always thought it would be. At one point he wondered if he'd tell him when they were in bed, when he was deep inside him with Spencer's back pressed to his chest and his lips right next to the genius' ear. But this was them. No pomp and circumstance; just honest and simple and real. Aaron leaned in and he kissed him again, murmuring against Spencer's lips, "Next time, we don't go this long without each other. Promise me."
late night office work aka insomnia (Hotch/Reid)
Spencer had hoped all along that Aaron understood he was only talking about pictures and souvenirs because he was well aware (thanks to Garcia) that everything they said or did within those halls may or may not be on permanent record. The brush of his hand against Aaron’s made his heart race at the thought of such a thing being caught on tape. To the point he was smart enough to do the gesture when he knew that hand was between Aaron’s leg and his chest and blocked from view. Even then it was only a fleeting moment that granted him that contact before it was gone again and they were back to chit chat. Aaron standing up to go was Spencer’s own version of a self-queue to follow and ask for the ride home.
As soon as they were outside, Spencer could feel the muscles in his arms and legs start to relax. He took in a deep breath of the cool D.C. summer air and blew it out slow through a set of puckered lips. Climbing up in the car, Spencer tucked his bag beneath his feet, thumbs his glasses up and went for his seatbelt but was stopped short by the feeling of Aaron’s hand sliding into his hair. A short gasp came from his chest as he felt the tug against his scalp (was it terrible for him to say it hurt just as much as it felt so overwhelmingly amazing that his stomach did a flop flop and his heart practically pounded right out of his chest?) and his eyes squeezed shut only opening wide once he felt the pressure of Aaron’s mouth on his.
Spencer caught a glimpse of the side of Aaron’s jaw before his gaze lazily closed, his mouth working as quickly as he could to keep up with the kiss that was equal parts deep and possessive and made him want more the second it started. They could officially sit there all night with Aaron doing that and Spencer would be just fine.
The reminder that they both needed to breath came in the form of Aaron breaking the kiss that Spencer whimpered in protest of losing. He gulped down a breath like a drowning man and pressed his forehead against Aaron’s soon as the other man’s came in contact with his own. A smile twisted onto Spencer’s wet mouth. ”Okay. You know my mom would like to see you again. And it would have been much better with you there.. Next time, we plan it better.” A shaky hand reached between them, blindly finding Aaron’s cheek and caressing down the stubble and hard line of his jaw before it cupped there softly and Spencer eased back. His glasses were taken off his nose, set in the console of the car and he blinked a couple times to get his vision straight.
When it did, he quickly looked into Aaron’s darker gaze and smiled. ”I did miss you.” It felt so strange sometimes to be able to say those things. Even after all they’d been through but it didn’t mean he meant them any less. On the contrary, he felt like he meant them even more now.
" You know my mom would like to see you again. And it would have been much better with you there.. Next time, we plan it better.”
Aaron sighed as Spencer's hand brushed along his cheek, tracing his skin with the soft fingertips that Aaron had missed so much more than Spencer would ever know. His head turned, pressing a gentle kiss to Spencer's open palm and he looked back with steeled eyes, "Next time we plan it better and we take Jack. I think it's time for him to get to meet her too." Especially if I'm going to continue having you stay in my house and my life and eventually, God help me, become a permanent fixture... He chuckled and leaned back into his seat as the glasses came off and rested on the center console. Aaron smiled at the simple gesture and reached forward, taking Spencer's free hand in his and entwining their fingers. It felt so good to have him back and to have their connection re-established. He had genuinely felt like things were falling apart without this man in his life. Aaron wasn't the only one to find the irony in the fact that he'd spent 20 years married to a blonde woman who had bore him a son and that he had loved and grieved for openly; and now the only person who could complete him was someone who was the complete- literal- opposite of Haley.
"I did miss you."
Aaron felt like he'd been punched in the gut with those 4 words and he squeeze Spencer's hand before bringing it to his lips and murmuring softly, "You keep looking at me like that and saying things like that and I can't guarantee that we'll be able to make it to your place without me needing you in the backseat." He chuckled softly and instead kissed the man's palm once more before turning back to the steering wheel, buckling in and beginning the drive to Spencer's home. There was no need to make awkward conversation in the car during the ride, no need for Aaron to ask how the flight had been or how he'd liked the room he'd been staying in. Instead, the ride was filled with Aaron's hand holding Spencer's and the sound of their breathing as Aaron tried to figure out how best to tell Spencer just how much he'd truly missed having him around and just how much the young man meant to him.
late night office work aka insomnia (Hotch/Reid)
Eyes never leaving Aaron, Spencer sat there and watched him as he spoke. Before he realized, he’d reached out and rested his hand on top of Aaron’s that was closet to him as soon as Aaron mentioned he hadn’t been sleeping much and Jack was at Jessica’s house often making Spencer wonder why. The tips of his fingers lightly grazed over the thick veins and lines running along the back of Aaron’s hand and then gently squeezed as if to say I missed you without using actual words then patted it, offering up a re-affirming smile when the other man seemed to want to change the subject, show that he was okay, and that the slip of a burrowed brow didn’t mean anything. However, it did mean something to Spencer… ”I’m good. Thank you.”
"Actually, I could use something." These photos could wait til later. So could the caseload and whatever else he missed while he was in Vegas. He wouldn’t have come in here right off bat had he had the slightest thought that Aaron was still up. Calling this late if Jack was home? Poor kid was woken up enough in the past with their job being the way it was and risking waking him up again wasn’t what Spencer wanted to do. Getting out of here now that he knew Aaron was free? That was something he definitely wanted to do. "I could use a ride home?" Keeping that eye contact in place, Spencer smiled and untangled his legs from one another using the heels of his sneakers to push him up and the chair back.
He was already going for his bag when he paused half-bent over as he rooted for the strap that’d fallen into the open bag. ”I brought some things for Jack. You can come in and get them? Maybe I can show you some pictures?” Or they could catch up, he could have Aaron to himself for a while. See what was keeping him awake? Not that he had much room to argue the no sleeping thing but that was a habit that Spencer was well known for. Upright again, a balled up fist went into the pockets of his dark brown corduroys and he didn’t bother fixing the deep blue dress shirt that’d come half out of his belt (might not have ever really been in there to start with, not that he would have noticed) or the tie that was barely in a knot at his neck. (Yeah, he really didn’t put much thought into the whole getting dressed thing tonight..oops.)
"I mean…I’m still technically off for two more days..so.." The sentence tapered off but it was easy to see it was an open invitation for Aaron to stay if Aaron looked hard enough. Especially with that shy sort of lopsided smile on Spencer’s face that would have been complete if he wasn’t a bit worried still.
"I could use a ride home? I brought some things for Jack. You can come in and get them? Maybe I can show you some pictures? I mean…I’m still technically off for two more days..so.."
Aaron paused in his footsteps at the soft sounds of the younger man's voice breaking through his own thoughts. Air whooshed out of his lungs in a breath that he was sure almost knocked him to his knees in relief and he found his head dropping forward in a silent prayer of thanks that maybe, just fucking maybe, this wasn't over. That maybe he hadn't lost the one person he could connect with and understand without needing so many words. Even with his background as a former prosecutor, Aaron hated talking about feelings and emotions. He felt strongly, he was passionate and he needed someone who could understand all that without needing to constantly poke and prod and ask what was going on inside his mind. Spencer got that and, in many ways, Aaron felt like he did the same for Spencer. He turned back toward him as the younger man caught him and talked about having something for Jack at his place and that he could maybe show Aaron pictures from the trip. Aaron gave a slight nod and pulled his keys from his pocket.
He didn't give a shit about pictures or souvenirs.
He wanted his hands in Spencer's hair, and to feel him against him for the first time in months. He flashed him a slight smile then nodded at the elevators, "Pictures sound good." The open invitation for the final two days of Spencer's vacation hadn't slipped past him and Aaron made a mental note to call in the next day, and probably the day after that. He had some major catching up to do with the boy genius and that included everything from verbal communication, to physical forms that had been severely lacking from his life. He waited until they were in the elevator before he let his knuckles brush Spencer's in a silent promise to talk once they were out of the line of cameras and government technology. He led the younger man to his large SUV and climbed into the driver's side, waiting patiently until Spencer was in before he reached over, threaded his fingers through the younger's man hair and tugged his head towards his possessively.
There was nothing soft or gentle about the kiss, nothing tender or warm or anything like their very first kisses on Aaron's floor had been. This was needy and a clear declaration that nothing had changed on Aaron's end and that the only thing that he wanted (again- screw the fucking pictures, souvenirs, and polite chit chat) was to reconnect to the man who had long ago learned all of Aaron's secrets and had burrowed deep under the man's thick, thick shell. Aaron pulled back a moment later, panting softly as his forehead found Spencer's, "Next time, I'm going with you to Vegas." He nodded to himself, promising that things were going to be different this time.
late night office work aka insomnia (Hotch/Reid)
Spencer was completely “tuned out” as others might call it when, in fact, he was so “tuned in” that he didn’t notice the movement out of the corners of his eyes until that movement took on a solid form of Aaron approaching his desk. He’d caught the glimpse right before he sat down on the edge, jerking his head up and thumbing his glasses up on his nose again instinctively. Two owlish eyes blinked once, twice and his mouth hung slightly open like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
Okay, so that analogy would work better if the cookie jar consisted of Coroner’s reports of several victims of the last case he worked on before he left. Topped with photos of the crime scenes that could serve as one hell of a gruesome icing on said cookie. Having been tapping away on the thick cardboard side of his coffee cup and skimming notes at the same time, Spencer’s hand had been twisted into a spidery shape hunched over top of one long, endless line of text that filled up an entire page without any line breaks (thanks to whoever in the small town that typed that up!) and twitched just like the corners of his mouth did before they formed a full smile. His hand dropped down to rest on the paper and he shrugged.
"Y-yeah! Thanks! I mean, everything’s great. I..uh.." Breaking eye contact with Aaron, he looked at the organized chaos that was his work spread out over his desktop and ran his tongue over his mouth before he snapped it shut with a thoughtful pout. A few of the pages were tucked away underneath each other, namely the photos under the case reports and a folder or two was shut before he looked back up and framed Hotch’s face with his gaze. "It was late, didn’t have much to do at home, thought I’d pass some time here..and.." Curiously, his head tilted to the side and his voice dropped to that bewildered whisper that said he was beyond confused. "Why are you up this late? Shouldn’t you be at home?" Had he known Aaron was up? He might not even have come here..
It was endearing, really. The sight of the genius curled up with all these gruesome images, words, and reports surrounding him and yet still having those wide, owl like eyes that could look up at Aaron and always break him damn near in two. Those eyes were almost a reflection of the ones that his son had; the same, wide, wondrous look in them that Aaron could rarely say no to. He lifted his eyebrows as Spencer's mouth twitched then lifted into a full, wide smile. Aaron mirrored it with one of his own, his dimples denting his cheeks deeply as his teeth made a rare appearance with his smile, "Looks like a welcome back might be a little pre-mature..."
Spencer went to work closing a couple reports before looking up at him again and warming Spencer from head to toe with the warmth that was being reflected there. "It was late, didn’t have much to do at home, thought I’d pass some time here..and.." Aaron smirked as the younger man rambled for a moment before getting his infamously confused face together and whispering as if the office around them was buzzing with agents. "Why are you up this late? Shouldn’t you be at home?" Aaron licked his lips and dropped his head to stare at his well polished, shiny, black shoes, "Well... It was late, didn't have much to do at home..." He cast a slightly playful glance at Spencer before shrugging and looking around the office, "I couldn't sleep. Haven't been able to sleep for a while now. Jack's been staying at Jessica's a lot and I'm here."
Aaron looked away from Spencer working his jaw for a moment, keeping in mind that cameras were on them at all times, even when no one was here, and that the videos could be more damning than they wanted them to be. He coughed slightly and shrugged, "Anyway, I uh... I just wanted to make sure you were... alright." His hazel eyes were sad and resigned as he looked at the younger man. Whatever had been between them felt like it was slipping away faster and faster and Aaron wasn't sure what, if anything, he could do to fix it. He swallowed thickly and sighed, "I'm going to head out for the night. If you need anything, you know where to find me." He idly had a moment of childish wishing for the man to come seek him out, before he turned on his heels and headed out of the BAU once more, leaving him alone in silence. He'd head home, probably crack open that expensive bottle of whiskey from Rossi and have a couple glasses until he passed out. That was the way he'd deal with losing another relationship in his life. That was the only way that would make sense of all this.
late night office work aka insomnia (Hotch/Reid)
Coffee in hand from some convenience store on the way from where the cab dropped him off and the building, Spencer let himself into the otherwise empty office. Fingers from his opposite hand were twisted around the strap of his trademark brown leather satchel and he was wearing his glasses perched up high on the bridge of his nose. Not caring to really get dressed (not that some would call him taking the effort much of a change anyway), the genius’ black Converse sneakers hitting the tile floor was the only sound to fill up the large, unoccupied room. His usual disheveled state the norm had chin length hair bouncing off the black frames and getting caught in the tops more than he’d like. Glaring up at the edge, he puckered his lips and blew them out of sight only to have them fall and have him promptly ignore them like he’d never noticed them in the first place. Or made an attempt to chase them away.
The flight back from Vegas had only reached land less than two hours ago and he’d got home, tossed down his suitcase and listened to the clock ticking on the wall for about a minute or so and decided an empty apartment wasn’t where he wanted to be. Everyone was, no doubt, asleep and bothering them at this hour was out of the question. Least in his book. A couple of plastic bags from various shops containing souvenirs he promised to bring back for Jack and Henry (and maybe a couple for himself) were sat down on his sofa and he plopped down on the arm of it staring out through the windows at the skyline past his apartment.
Tick, tick, tick. The clock kept going, getting impossibly louder as the second hand rounded the bend for another turn. Two more and Spencer was at his computer. With a flick of his wrist, the screen popped into life. It still had the website he used to check in for his flight before he left sitting there. More attempts to fill the time with messing around on the internet had him bored to death and remembering why he hated computers within minutes. Too wired from flying (like that made a difference in his brain shutting off…it just didn’t want to), too annoyed with the computer and without any real desire to watch something on television..there was one other thing he decided he could do.
Work.
Which brought him to the present moment of folding his too-skinny frame down onto the chair at his desk sitting with his legs folded into one another “Indian-style” in his chair as he flipped folder after folder open taking a peek inside to see what he missed. A brow raised over the frame of his glasses when he was fairly certain a couple of these were briefings of the case he missed while he was gone that he was “supposed to analyze and complete”. Suspiciously gazing at those, he set them aside and started digging into his workload with one set of long fingers going through page after page and using the other to lift his coffee, take a sip, scrunch his nose like it bit him, then pick right back up again with another longer draw.
Got to love 7-11 coffee that’s probably been sitting there for hours..
There was something to be said for being a workaholic single father.
Few good things came from it; the only exception being getting to see the building in ways that no one else ever did. It was almost fantasical to walk the hallowed halls of the FBI building and imagine everyone who'd seen them before him; before the explosion that had rocked their world, and had taken the life of his brother. He could so clearly remember the way the building had looked before that fateful day, he turned down one particular hallway and paused at the memorial that had been designed and built in honor of the victims. He studied the names for a long moment, his hands tucked in his pockets before he turned and headed in the opposite direction in the hallway.
He'd been doing too much thinking since Spencer had left for Vegas as it was. Things had been difficult for them both the last few months. Case loads and jobs had conflicted and resulted in a long period of time where they hadn't had much, if any, real contact. Jessica had noticed that Aaron was beginning to lose some of that light that had been beginning to dawn within himself and he knew that it was palpable that he was starting to fall back into old work habits of late nights, early mornings, not enough family time. The fact was, without someone to share those hours when Jack was asleep with, it just didn't feel right being at home alone. The bed was so much bigger, so much more empty and he was finding himself lonelier and lonelier.
He paused as he passed the familiar glass walls of the BAU, his lips tilting up in a grin as he remembered all those years of working in that space and all the memories of watching his team bonding and growing while they sat at the desks that had seen too many faces come and go. He opened the door and stepped in, his hazel eyes ticking over the walls then pausing as they settled on a familiar form hunched over his desk with a cup of coffee on his desk. Aaron frowned and dropped his eyes to his watch before heading over and clearing his throat softly, not wanting to scare the young genius.
"As section chief, I have to admit the work ethic is impressive, Reid." His lips tilted up in a weak grin as he tilted his head and lifted his eyebrows, "As your friend I'm compelled to ask why you're here at 2:30 AM on your day off." He sat on the very edge of the young man's desk and tilted his head, "Everything okay?"
Recently back from a trip home to see my mother. She’s doing very well if anyone was curious. Anyway, I’m sure the work piled up on my desk (no doubt with some slipped in by Morgan) and I think I’m going in for a late night to catch up before I’m actually due back at work in a couple days.
Before anyone says it, yes, I know I am still on vacation.
You've been deeply missed, Spencer.
I'm sure by the team, too.
“Cause it’s your mystery that captures me I’m falling in, drawing closer…”
Is it horrible that I want this framed in my office?
I think I want to ask him to move in. I think I want him to come be a regular part of Jack's life, and mine.
-After feeling the squeeze to his hand, Spencer looked between them and returned the soft presser by tightening his fingers against the back of Aaron’s palm. His gaze lingered there, at the spot where they touched together and he took a deep breath at the sensation he was both beginning to get used to surprisingly easy yet on the other hand, he wondered if it would always feel so unreal for just a split second each time the connection was made. Not only because someone was touching him in the ways Aaron now was but because it was Aaron Hotchner who was doing it, too. Once again, he gave Aaron’s hand a tight squeeze and then watched their hands separate before Aaron walked to his desk drawer.-
-Spencer’s eyebrows knitted together curiously as Aaron rustled through the contents inside and then when his gaze landed on what he pulled out and sat down? Derek’s badge and gun? He blinked. Blinked again and had to force himself to swallow the knot that felt the size of a softball in his throat.- No, I didn’t think it would go this far. -Spencer’s eyes softened as he stepped nearer to Aaron’s desk and reached those thin digits forward and traced over the polished metal of the gun and the leather case that held Morgan’s credentials. How could someone who he saw as so strong become so….lost? He figured others had thought that about him, himself, several times before…but this? He just couldn’t wrap his head around it or make it make sense. None of it added up.-
He came to me a couple times. We talked. I should have seen it coming when he compared himself to me and her a few times..then quickly denied he did when I corrected him on it. Those were signs. Maybe I didn’t want to see them. Maybe I just had so much faith in him that he’d listen..just once to what I had to say. Or JJ had to say. Or Garcia. But…as far as he went? No. I didn’t think it’d ever get out of hand the way it did. I’m sorry. Speaking up earlier might have helped? Regardless.. I’m glad it’s being taken care of. I was about to recommend he go for a psych eval and..
-Not finishing what he had to say, he quieted down. Aaron of all people would know that Spencer saying that about someone he loved like a brother wasn’t easy. Nor something he’d say lightly. For all the world, it looked like those words were a sack of stones he was carrying on his back as his shoulders slouched forward and his fingers tapped at the texture of the badge holder underneath. Sad brown eyes watched his fingernails catch the light as they rose up and down. Spencer licked his lips and shook his head, nearly whispering as he spoke.- I just hope he stays there.. As long as it takes. Because I’m not sure if I ever really want to see him again..
He came to me a couple times. We talked. I should have seen it coming when he compared himself to me and her a few times..then quickly denied he did when I corrected him on it.
-Aaron had learned to cope with the memories of Spencer and Maeve, had learned to recognize that his relationship with the man was different than the one that he'd shared with the woman, and where other people would've been threatened by hearing Spencer talk about her; but Aaron Hotchner wasn't any other person. He had his own baggage, had struggled through losing Haley, through nearly losing Jack and he understood exactly where Spencer had come from when he'd lost Maeve. But Derek Morgan hadn't suffered something as significant as that. He'd merely suffered the end of a relationship; not the person he was so emotionally attached to being viciously murdered by a psychotic.-
I didn't think he was as bad as he was. I think I kept expecting him to get over it, to move past it. We all lose relationships, I didn't see any reason for it to be as traumatic as he made it out to be.
I’m not sure if I ever really want to see him again..
-Aaron blinked as Spencer's whispered admission sounded in the room. Aaron took a few steps forward and murmured softly to him- You don't mean that, Spencer. You don't mean that because he was one of the only team members you were that close to. I'm sure when he comes back and is... - he sighed heavily- himself again, you'll be happy he's back.
-The unspoken phrase included in there was a clear 'if he come back'. Aaron couldn't guarantee his former friend and agent would ever come back, but he had hope, deep down somewhere, that the man he'd once known would be back. The team needed his strength and passion; but they didn't need his attitude or the issues that he seemed so intent on focusing on.-
Aa--- Hotch? -Spencer said shakily as he stepped into the Section Chief's office. Well that mis-step didn't feel weird? Oh no. Not at all. But the matter at hand pressed him past the awkward blush on his face and his youthful features were creased with worry. Whatever was on his mind was obviously eating him up inside and each slow step only proved the idea Aaron might have that something was wrong.- We need to talk. It's.. It's about Morgan..
-Aaron looked up from the desk and nodded in response to Spencer’s presence, gesturing for Spencer to shut the door and sensing exactly where this is going to be heading. He had been getting calls for a couple weeks from concerned agents regarding Derek Morgan’s erratic behavior.- Come in, Spencer. -He gestured at the chair in front of his desk and set his pen down, opting to lean back and study him carefully.- Talk to me.
-After nudging the door closed with the heel of his shoe, Spencer crossed over to stand directly in front of Aaron. Perhaps a little closer than he normally would, but the way he’d crossed his arms over his chest said that he still wasn’t comfortable bringing this up to Hotch regardless of what might be happening away from here. Part of him felt like he was betraying Morgan completely, the other part? Told him he needed to do something before it was too late and someone was hurt. Morgan, one of them. Whoever or whatever. Something was bound to give soon and, in his eyes, Morgan was on the verge of breaking down all together.- I..uh.. It’d be wrong not to say something but I just..
Aaron, I don’t want to do this.. -His eyes softened and a thick knot welled up in his throat. So much for strong, hard conviction when he was about to be the one to stand against a man he entrusted his life to on many times and had the same done with him. His voice cracked when he continued and he practically looked on the verge of tears as his eyes reddened- But if I don’t and he goes out there in the state he’s in, he could risk so much…
-There was a defeat in his voice that said both of them knew Spencer understood too well the consequences of the actions of a man who was on the verge when they were in the field.- I think Morgan needs help. A lot.
-Aaron reached up, taking Spencer's hand as the man struggled for a moment. His voice cracked and Aaron gave his hand a gentle squeeze and he narrowed his eyes slightly, worried about his agent and, more importantly, the man he was finding himself relying on more and more out of the office.- Spencer, what...
I think Morgan needs help. A lot.
-Aaron sighed and licked his lips, letting his hand drop at that comment and then took a moment, reaching into a drawer and pulling out a set of credentials and a gun. He set them down on the desk then swallowed thickly.- I know. It's been handled, Spencer.
-He nodded at the credentials.- He left those with Agent Hadley and I think he is taking a break for an indefinite period. I think it's probably for the best given what I've been hearing. -He took a deep breath in, not believing that he was going to be having this moment regarding one of the agents that he'd grown to appreciate on his team.- I didn't think it would ever come to this, or I would've stepped in sooner.
Aa--- Hotch? -Spencer said shakily as he stepped into the Section Chief's office. Well that mis-step didn't feel weird? Oh no. Not at all. But the matter at hand pressed him past the awkward blush on his face and his youthful features were creased with worry. Whatever was on his mind was obviously eating him up inside and each slow step only proved the idea Aaron might have that something was wrong.- We need to talk. It's.. It's about Morgan..
-Aaron looked up from the desk and nodded in response to Spencer's presence, gesturing for Spencer to shut the door and sensing exactly where this is going to be heading. He had been getting calls for a couple weeks from concerned agents regarding Derek Morgan's erratic behavior.- Come in, Spencer. -He gestured at the chair in front of his desk and set his pen down, opting to lean back and study him carefully.- Talk to me.
He is mine.
Did That Seriously Just Happen? (Hotch/Reid)
Spencer’s entire frame seemed to melt an inch or two shorter as he sat on the bed and saw Aaron stopping by the door without stepping out into the hallway. The pale color in his skin seemed to grow a few shades closer to it’s usual ivory tone as the shades that’d been drained dry brightened with relief that came with a heavy sigh that split his lips open. His chest was hurting, he’d been holding his breath for so long that his lungs burned and as soon as that exhale came, a deep inhale followed. ”No more mistakes. I swear I didn’t mean to.. I didn’t think they’d be that..stupid.”
The kiss came and Spencer’s hands each curled around Aaron’s wrists as if he’d do anything to keep him in place and not let that presence budge even an inch. Granted, if he’d want Aaron to say, sitting or laying on the bed might have been the best option and would require movement, so the thought was quite pointless but it happened nonetheless and there wasn’t anything Spencer could do about that. Well. Other than mirror the touch to his mouth with one of his own to Aaron’s. Once again, his face colored as a pale pink moved over the bridge of his nose towards both temples and he had to look down between them into the hollow shadows made by a trick of the lighting made by their positions.
Aaron drew attention back to his knee when the words he’d said earlier, the reaction it caused Spencer and the thoughts it put in his head had all but drowned out the ache. A sad, but dismissive smile touched Spencer’s mouth. Looking at it, he shook his head and grabbed the pillow setting it at the headboard but to his right and brushed his hands together. ”It’s fine now. Was just preempting any issues later. I used it a lot today. But it’s okay.” So far the ache still remained the dull warmth that replaced the discomfort when panic rolled through him. He’d take that as an additional plus after where the night could have gone if..
He really doesn’t think it’s my fault. Right? He means that. Please?
Aaron’s body heat surrounded him when he was pulled in against the man’s side and he instinctively leaned towards it. One long, thin arm bent at the elbow, the spidery fingered hand rested on Aaron’s chest while the other rested between each of their outer thighs but instead of the hem of his own pocket being fidgeted with, it was Aaron’s. Spencer listened as Aaron explained how he felt he’d complicated things for himself. Sure, that was a given. This would be complicated and Spencer, himself, wasn’t known as a master of all things social or emotional and was having quite a predicament on how he had to keep checking himself on how he spoke to Aaron or carried himself but he didn’t mind.
He wondered if Aaron did.. Hopefully not enough to say forget it.
"I know. I missed you, too. I just. I didn’t want it to be complicated for you. I mean. Can I do anything different? Aaron, I’ve only wanted you to be happy but you know that. It’s why I keep asking you the questions everyone else is afraid to when it comes to the job. But I don’t want to lose you out there..we need you. And I really don’t want to lose.." this. Went without saying but it was clear as day anyway. Spencer’s brows burrowed together and he shook his head, the fingers on Hotch’s chest spread out and he watched the wrinkles they created in Aaron’s shirt form. ”Thank you for staying..”
"I don’t want to lose you out there..we need you. And I really don’t want to lose.."
Aaron smiled weakly as Spencer shook his head and toyed with the fabric of Aaron's shirt. He reached a hand up, covering Spencer's on his chest and smiled at the younger man, dimples and all, "Listen to me, Spencer." He waited until he had Spencer's complete attention, "I am not going anywhere. It's going to take a lot more than some stress to make me turn and run, okay?" He squeezed his hand and scooted down in the bed, making sure they were eye to eye in the bed before he threaded his fingers through Spencer's and nodded, "Do you understand me, Spencer?"
Without making promises he couldn't keep, or saying words that he wasn't sure Spencer could handle, saying that he wasn't going anywhere was as good as it could get for Aaron. He hoped that Spencer understood what it all meant, that he was all in and was ready to promise something more than a casual relationship. Aaron wasn't good at these kind fo things and frankly, knew he'd have to ask Dave for where to go next. Was this where Aaron was supposed to give his lover a key to his apartment and tell him to maybe move some clothing in? Was this where he offered him a drawer to put things in when he stayed over? Things were different now than when he'd dated Haley. With Haley, it'd been simple; woo, romance, sex, dating, marriage, baby, divorce.
Spencer would be more complicated and not just because he was another man or because they worked together. This was going to change public perception for them both, more Hotch than Spencer, but still. He licked his lips, "I lost one person who meant a lot to me because of the job, Spencer. I lost her and it almost ruined me. I will not let this job tear you away from me again. Not if I have any say over anything. I'm not giving up on you."
”Thank you for staying..”
He shook his head, "I have nowhere else I'd want to be right now." Aaron leaned in, kissing Spencer gently and slowly, while still holding Spencer's hand on his chest. It felt so easy for them to be doing this, to be something real. Aaron's nose brushed Spencer's as he moved to deepen the kiss slightly, the tip of his tongue brushing Spencer's lips before he pulled back and went back to tender little kisses. There was no urgency, no desperate clawing at each other as there had been in the past. This was honest and real and Aaron realized how much he loved having this with Spencer. This was what he wanted... permanently.
