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||Selective|| Indie|| Mike Schmidt|| Five Nights at Freddy's|| Read Rules and About||

[security-guard-schmidt]

Halloween Themed Sentence Starters

"What are you going to be for Halloween this year?"

"I just can't wait for Halloween!"

"We should totally go scare some kids."

"I swear to god if i hear that spooky scary skeleton song again i'm gonna --"

"Let's go pumpkin picking!"

"You should totally buy that costume!"

"Trick or treat!"

"Don't go on the hayride. I almost threw up on that."

"Caramel apple season? Hell yes!"

"Your going as a fairy, seriously?"

"What's Halloween without some ghost hunting?"

"I wanna make sure that my jack-o-lantern is the best!"

"No! I told you that i'm NOT going to do any Ouija board, especially today!"

"I'll race you through the corn maze!"

"Wanna trade candy?"

"Boo!"

"Haunted house: yay or nay?"

"Hey - it's not against the rules to show skin! Besides, I want _______ to notice me at the party tonight."

"Pumpkin. Spice. Lattes. Need I say more?"

"Are you kidding me? That asshole gave me a freaking toothbrush!"

"So what are we doing for Halloween this year?"

"I got a job at the haunted house!"

"That guy in the gorilla costume has been following us for the past ten blocks."

"Aww come on! It was a prank!"

"Who knows: maybe we'll see the great Casper the ghost himself tonight!"

"Please, please, PLEASE no scary movie marathon!"

"That wasn't funny!"

[security-guard-schmidt]

darkiplixr:

security-guard-schmidt:

“Well you know, Dark, I’m here by choice so I actually get vacation days. Excuse the fuck out of me for using them. I realize you must have missed me terribly you giant homo.”

Mike looked back down at his tablet as a signal for the animatronic to fuck off in any general direction away from him.

“Someone is in a piss fucking poor mood aren’t you. What the fuck got you so mad and shit. Some vacation if you come back like this. And what the fuck is a homo?” He asked. The poor animatronic, while having the mouth of a sailor, wasn’t exactly knowledgeable on everything that he said.

“Wait wait wait. You don’t know what homo means? Oh god. Oh sweet jesus. Let me tell you then.”

Mike cleared his throat as if about to start a lecture at a college.

“So you see, in technical terms, a homosexual, or homo for short, is a male of the human species that is sexually attracted to the same sex. In dude-bro culture however, it is commonly used as an insult due to the fragile nuances of their masculinity. I used homo as an insult to you, but I am also not afraid to tell you that I am in fact not straight. Anything else?”

[security-guard-schmidt]

"Mike I'm bored. When are they going to hire guards that panic at every sound? Those are more fun to mess with than you."

“Probably when I drop dead from stress from this effing job. Not like that’s far off in the future though so you won’t have to wait very long.”

[security-guard-schmidt]

puppetstringsdontholdmedown:

“Hate to break it to you but I’m not dropping dead anytime soon! Hmm lets see what your working on here.” The puppet picks up some of the paper work and scans over it. “Boring. I wonder if i remember how to build those paper boats!”

“Give me those goddammit!” 

Mike snatched the papers out of the puppet’s hands, careful not to make any actual contact. Those fingers always creeped Mike out more than anything. Then he unceremoniously shoved the animatronic off his desk.

“Now leave I’m busy and shit and you’re annoying. You people are the reason I don’t want kids.”

[9090432-deactivated20140709]

[crowcrow]

ON TUMBLR WE ARE REQUIRED TO POST THIS EVERY YEAR.

(i literally waited till midnight to post this)

[primuula]

i’ve missed this everytime for the past 4 years, i think it’s about time i reblog it

[security-guard-schmidt]

Offline

See you motherfuckers tomorrow I promise. [finger guns as I back out of the room]

[security-guard-schmidt]

"Mike I'm bored. When are they going to hire guards that panic at every sound? Those are more fun to mess with than you."

“Probably when I drop dead from stress from this effing job. Not like that’s far off in the future though so you won’t have to wait very long.”

[security-guard-schmidt]

puppetstringsdontholdmedown:

“How far into the future is that exactly? I mean take all offense to this but you don’t let us have any fun…” The puppet was sitting on the guards desk listening to the faint sounds of the music box.

“How would I know? I’m a security guard, not a psychic you creepy bastard. And I take no offense at all since I’m waiting for you drop dead too. Also get the fuck off my desk you’re sitting on my goddamn paperwork.”

[security-guard-schmidt]

Dean looks at the other male shaking slightly "H-Hello,uh I-I'm new here m-my name i-is D-Dean" he said to him.

“What? Oh. New guy.” Mike yawned loudly. “Well sit down I guess and try not to die. They, uh...” He trailed off as his head bobbed, threatening to hit the desk before he snapped back up, swaying in his chair a little. “They don’t really tell the new guys about the death risk...” 

[neopoints]

when your furry friend starts actin up

[security-guard-schmidt]

"Mike I'm bored. When are they going to hire guards that panic at every sound? Those are more fun to mess with than you."

“Probably when I drop dead from stress from this effing job. Not like that’s far off in the future though so you won’t have to wait very long.”

[gl1tchswitch]

Visit Original Link

Don’t fuck with Mike Art by rebornica

[mx-bones-deactivated20160831]

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

[security-guard-schmidt]

darkiplixr:

security-guard-schmidt liked for a starter

The animatronic was walking around Fazbears, as he always did, going into the office, he froze, seeing the familiar night guard, and thought before speaking. “What the ever loving FUCK are you doing here Mike. Didn’t you fucking, oh I don’t know, DIE?”

“Well you know, Dark, I’m here by choice so I actually get vacation days. Excuse the fuck out of me for using them. I realize you must have missed me terribly you giant homo.”

Mike looked back down at his tablet as a signal for the animatronic to fuck off in any general direction away from him.

[best-of-memes]

I heard the internet loves cats so here you go

[blindbee]

[avodaco]

me when i get my student loan

[g8dtier]

this is the money cat. reblog in 30 seconds and you will find yourself with more wealth

[strikercorbie]

#this is the only money cat i will reblog because it’s actually doing the manekineko pose151,646 notes (via lolwhutninja)

OMG YOU’RE RIGHT

[vivilong]

Oh mikey

[mx-bones-deactivated20160831]

Perfect

[forgettxblex-archive]

Send me a ☂ to find my character in a dark alley in the middle of a storm, beaten and bloody

[horrificmemes]

Vampire/Victim Sentence Starters

[security-guard-schmidt]

horrificmemes:

For vampires ——————– “Have you ever wanted to live forever?” “Are you afraid of me?” “You look…delicious.” “Don’t be afraid.” “Let’s be together forever.” “I think we need some time, just the two of us.” “Trust me.” “I know what’s best for you.” “It’ll only hurt a little bit.” “It’ll be over soon.” “There’s something you need to know about me.” “You can’t resist immortality.”

For victims ——————– “I’m not afraid of you.” “I’m afraid of you.” “I want to be with you forever.” “I’m not so sure about this…” “I don’t want this.” “I want this.” “When I look at you, I feel hypnotized.” “Yes, Master.” “I’m yours.” “I trust you.” “I don’t trust you.” “You’re so pale.” “Your teeth…”

[security-guard-schmidt]

"Spooderman!" A drunk Vincent yells stumbling into Mikes living room.

“What the fuck is thi-”

Mike caught the scent of some kind of heavy alcohol.

“...Are you fucking wasted? You disgust me. Ghosts shouldn’t be allowed to get drunk by, like, some kind of providence. It’s fucking weird. LEAVE.”

Mike shouted as Vincent almost knocked over his t.v. by all his stumbling.