Okay. I did spend way too long explaining myself, you're right. I'm sorry. Here are some questions I have, and obviously you don't have to answer everything.
Do you think people treat you more like a man or a woman in your daily life? If people act as though you're female (call you "she" or "ma'am," assume you have a menstrual cycle, etc.) do you correct them? Have people ever not believed you claiming to be male and not female? Do you think you face transphobia or any kind of discrimination for not looking like the vast majority of males? What about sexism?
What made you come to radical feminism after having been transitioning? I assume you'll say something like "I realized radfems were right about sex-based oppression" but specifically what in your life happened and what is it that made you reject your old beliefs?
Do you think dysphoria always is treatable the way you did it, purely with radical acceptance and gender abolitionism? Do you think medical transition treatments should ever be done, despite the negative health side effects, and why or why not? If not, then should they be banned? Or are some parts of medical transition okay and other parts of it not?
Masculinity and femininity encompass many arbitrary cultural traits, but also encompass physical features, like having boobs, because they're really just what a culture associates with men and women. You say you can be as feminine as you want while acknowledging yourself as male; isn't staying on HRT and keeping feminine features kind of denying yourself this for the sake of preserving physical femininity? If I don't misunderstand, why don't you reject masculinity and femininity altogether, just doing things you want, rather than trying to perform it, like how you were saying earlier about how it's all stuff made up by conservatives?
I am treated as a woman in most of my daily life. But I am androgynous enough that although I read as female when wearing womens clothing, if I switch into mens I am read mostly as male.
I correct people as it is neccesary but I'm not hung up on being recognized "correctly" so the amount of times it actually matters is minimal. I have been asked about my menstrual cycle before among other things. I don't think I've had a time when someone straight up didn't believe I was the sex I said I was.
Transphobia isn't real, it's just a mix of sexism and homophobia that are attributed to trans people. As a feminine male I am subject to all of the societal issues that come from not conforming. I do also have people descriminate against me when I am read as female in typical sexist ways. Of course the core of these issues as mentioned are sexism and homophobia not some special oppression.
I started to shy away from transition and trans ideology long before I even heard of radical feminism. Seeing what I now see as male socialization in trans women was what peaked me over a long period of time and witnessing a lot of incidents in person. As I moved away from trans ideology I decided to start reading some of the things the people I thought of as "evil terfs" were posting online.
I do think dysphoria is always cureable. The amount of work it will take for each person is going to be different but I do believe it always is. I also never think medical transition should be done, but I'm not for banning most forms of medical practice there are always going to be places where someone might need certain exceptions. But I don't think it should easily be handed out and should be up to doctors discretion.
Your question about masculinity and femininity is exactly why I think your mindset is still cooked and why you experience dysphoria.
Masculinity and femininity are just stereotypes about the sexes. Nothing physical or not changes the fact that I'm male, any way that I am, is a male way of existing. There are males who develope without much or sometimes any testosterone and look extremely female looking, they are still male.
I can perform femininity (collection of female stereotypes) to any extent that I wish, but to say I wouldn't be able to if I didn't take hormones is silly. No woman is able to perfectly perform femininity either, the point is that it is an absurd set of standards forced on women. No one can ever be feminine enough because you can always be more feminine, there is no end goal for women either. The only way to win is not to play.
Please keep in mind I said perform femininity not be read as female, anyone can perform all the femininity in the world and not be read as female and that's okay because there's no shame in being male and doing things considered feminine. Trying to be read as female is just a way of avoiding that you feel shame for being seen as a male who is feminine.
On top of that if I stopped taking hormones my bones would literally start breaking because I'm post surgery.
I am rejecting masculinity and femininity and just doing what I want. Existing in my body is not performing stereotypes, it is just living. The idea that I have to look perfectly androgynous at all times not to partake in societal gender bs is very silly. Men do not perform masculinity by existing, women do not perform femininity by existing.
It's all social accociations. I would ask you again to go back and reexamine your views of sex and gender. Because you clearly still have accociated femininity with being a woman and vis versa. You won't be able to stop having dysphoria until you get rid of those accociations, and that's something that can be done completely without even detransitioning.
