The comic initially presents Bro and Mom as incredibly two dimensional, and intentionally paints them like that; it makes us initially view these characters through the characterization of their charges and as goofy stereotypes of Edge Lord Older Brother and Drunk but Well-meaning Housewife. I believe that two things happened.
One: The series did very well depicting children of abuse, as much as Hussie is a suck writer at times, they did that very correctly and I can't fault them for it. Rose and Dave's reactions to their abuse are fairly real all things considered, especially for the types of abuse they suffered.
Two: The fandom fundamentally mischaracterized Dave and Rose both. Rose more specifically and intentionally misunderstood her behavior. Mom Lalonde is not the worst parent one could have, however she's an absentee mother. She's not there physically and barely there mentally. Even if her love of the vacuum she bronzed and wizards is legitimate, it's hard to fault Rose for thinking it's performative at best, mockery at worst. Rose doesn't actually know her mom outside the performance she does at home when she's not blackout drunk somewhere.
Rose threatening suicide during their strife comes off as dramatic, and maybe it is to an extent, but it's because she's seeking attention from her mother. She's so alone, so isolated both physically and emotionally, that she's seeking anything she can get. Her emotions are actually very poorly regulated because she's actually not secure. She's not certain her life is stable, despite being in a luxurious house. Her mom is a drunk who doesn't care for her and their only interactions are strifes and seemingly passive aggressive fridge interactions. Mom Lalonde didn't bother trying to help Rose become an emotionally functional person and actually left Rose worse off. Rose has no real idea how to talk to people or understand them so she defaults to psychological analysis and pseudo-intellectualism because it's what she's had access to to learn human interactions.
Mom Lalonde comes off, at least to me, as the type of woman who makes wine drinking her personality and jokes about it with other moms her age. The type to forget about her daughter's events because she wasn't capable of composing herself long enough. She comes off like the type to wave a hand and scoff, saying Rose's childhood wasn't bad because Rose had everything physically she could ever want. A woman who buys things for Rose after upsetting her, as if that fixes the damage.
Mom Lalonde seems to be the kind of mom that believes pandering to her daughter's perceived emotions and gift giving is what it takes to raise a child, which is why she seems so unresponsive to Rose's threats of self harm. She probably thinks Rose is just being dramatic. And maybe she is, but it's clearly something any good parent would, and should, be immediately concerned about.
I think for the fandom, Dave's abuse is taken for what it is, but twisted how it is, because his abuse type is more common and relatable to many. And, tragically, for many their own abuse was worse, yet similar enough to Dave's that they latch on and expand significantly on it to the point of losing the plot as it were.
Dave is less neglected emotionally, as much as people like to claim Bro did nothing but starve and beat him. Dave isn't the most mature, but he's actually a pretty average 13-16 year old boy emotionally. He's goofy and rambly and likes annoying his friends. That's not to say Bro's actions didn't impact him, because they certainly did, but Dave's emotional regulation is actually okay? Not great but, better than Rose.
Bro in some ways is Mom Lalonde's opposite. He's physically present way more and as emotionally available as someone like him can be (not nearly as much as he should be). He doesn't just care about Dave, he actually shows it by taking interest in Dave's hobbies and interests, helping him set up his makeshift dark room, helping him get his webcomic online and uploaded, and clearly giving him the only bedroom in the apartment. Bro bought Dave his sylladex, specifically getting him the modus type that suited Dave best but was still within Bro's standards of "best".
Dave's trauma largely comes from a combination of food scarcity, exposure to sexual content early in life (that is NOT to say that Bro did something to Dave or even posted content of Dave), physical abuse, and a lack of emotional stability.
Dave's comfortable enough in the house and with Bro to use Bro's Xbox, computer, and generally fuck with anything in the house with seemingly no fear of consequences. Because Bro didn't just haul off on him for everything. Bro was doing exactly what we see Dirk doing later on, trying to help reach an end goal by going as hard and as stupid as possible. Bro has always struck me as knowing what he's doing, but fundamentally lacking the understanding that what he was doing was a problem because it was, "to make Dave stronger". Bro's own shit emotional expression and his actions to make Dave a better fighter absolutely made Dave feel like Bro hated him.
Bro also seemingly either intentionally didn't buy food, or forgot. I'm gonna say forgot personally because Bro has never struck me as all there. However, I do also personally think it's likely both Dave and Rose struggle with food security because I also think Mom Lalonde drunkenly forgot to a, buy food and b, teach Rose how to make anything outside of a new tiny self explanatory basics.
Both Mom and Bro are abusive, but they aren't abusive in the same ways. Bro is physically abusive and seems to not care about what the exposure to certain content might do to Dave. Whereas Mom is emotionally abusive and neglectful all around, unresponsive to Rose's needs.
Sorry I have a lot of feelings about the beta kids experiences with their parents, but these guys specifically.
