See You In Hell

[midnightcrisisstuff]

actually no, we're not "dating". we're bound together for infinity. like the stars. so, fuck you, actually.

[kemonomimichiru]

How it feels to find a fanfic where your favorite character is going through literally the worst horrors you can imagine

[elliesgaymachete]

[damazcuz]

The lion is concerned. The lion is honestly really fucking worried.

[luckyjak]

Somewhere in Aeor, post-campaign:

Caleb: Essek...it is time I tell you the story of how I murdered my parents.

Essek, eyes wide: woah...you too?

Caleb: ...what do you *mean* "you too"??? Patricide isn't a common crime!!!

Essek: okay to be fair I didn't murder my dad--I just was responsible for his death. I did have to stab my mom to death, though. How'd you kill yours?

Caleb: ...I set my family home on fire WAIT STOP GO BACK HOW DO WE HAVE *THIS* IN COMMON WHAT THE *FUCK---*

[thechekhov]

It’s a peaceful day at the Soltryce Academy, and you and your polycule are way ahead on your homework assignments… 

Look, I know Caleb Widogast origins was dark and traumatic, but I also need lots of shenanigans between these three because I feel we are missing out on a lot of in-between silly things 3 teens can get up to to pass the time. 

[dirt-nerd]

The love life of Caleb Widogast will never not be darkly hilarious to me. Because on one hand once you get passed the ptsd he really is a silly guy with a big heart who is unconditionally in love with every single one of his friends....

....But on the otherhand the people who he has actually canonically dated are exactly one type of person and that type is "hot evil wizard that has committed war crimes".

Like there's a minimum qualification requirement for sleeping with this dude and that is "a phd and atleast one violation of the Geneva convention". Absolutely stella character choice honestly 10/10 no notes.

[bored-trans-creature]

The implication that his attraction to Fjord fell through because he didn't commit any war crimes, I'm dead

[crazyintheeast]

Look Daredevil vs Kingpin is a classic and it's great but imagine how infinitely funnier it would be if it was Kingpin vs Jessica Jones. Just imagine how helpless Fisk would be against her. She is a not a vigilante since she has a private detective licence so she is legal. He can't intimidate her because she is a depressed alcoholic with super strength. He can't threaten her loved ones because the only person she ever truly loved is her sister who is in the most high secure prison on the planet way out of Fisk's reach. He can't besmirch her reputatation and set the media against her because she doesn't have any repuation. He can hold the most eloquent passionate speech denoucning her and when the media finds her passed out in the garbage in front of a bar and asks for rebuttal she will just call him a prenteious cocksucker and New York will immediately side with her. Also as a private detective not only is she used to digging dirt but the dirt she digs is legally admissable so will immediately take down quite a few of his minions And worst of all at the end of the day Fisk is a brawler. He dreams of nothing more then to fight Daredevil one on one and beat him but he can't do that with Jessica because she has actual super strength and she can knock him out with one punch....if she is holding back. If she is not holding back hat one punch would burst him open like meat pinata. He is physically impotent against her and this would enrgae him to an insane degree

[mmmurdockss]

Remember when Matt and Jessica spoke facts?

Everyone in the Marvel universe got a dead relative, does not mean you get to be a serial killer because of it.

[defendered]

defenders…. yeah

[criticalrolo]

I am thrilled actually for Wickander’s Deconstruction narrative, or possible Retrenching narrative. I’ve seen what Brennan can do with a deprogramming narrative and I’m VERY eager to see how this goes. Wick is so sincere right now! I fully believe he thinks he’s helping and is baffled how things could have possibly gone so wrong! I can’t WAIT to see what happens in his arc, ESPECIALLY since I REALLY think there’s no way he’s a Real Cleric with that 10 wis and 18 charisma. God I’m so excited

[t-hirstreview]

[koifee]

I love them so much already

[the-big-nope]

MANY green flags going into C4 with this first episode, at least for my personal taste.

The clear weight of history already hanging off this world and these characters was absolutely the correct way to go, both for the purposes of not having to see thirteen characters all get to know each other, but also for emulating the epic fantasy genre they're going for à la ASOIAF/Stormlight Archives/etc. Personally, the vibes I'm getting are very Jade City, which is absolutely a compliment: we start in a world that's already had a whole other series' worth of world-changing events occur in the fairly recent past, events which our characters/their families and associates are all tied up in, but the new world that arose from those events might be even more complicated than the one before, or at least complicated in a way that the heroes and descendants of the previous era don't really know how to approach or manage. I'm not sure if C4 is going to take a similar tack, but it certainly doesn't hurt it that that's the book series I think of right off the bat.

Most of the characters being middle aged and older leaves so much room for long-lived, messy dynamics that you just can't get out of younger characters, like Hal and Thaisha's complex romantic history or all the old war buddies who have already been through so much shit together. Whatever conflict the campaign presents, there's no need to question why these people are going to be the ones stepping up to meet it; clearly they've already handled a lot in the past, and the personal connections seal the deal.

Thjazi Fang is so wonderfully interesting as an inciting incident and (mostly) posthumous character. Everything we know about him gives Protagonist, but we're telling a story that starts with his death. There's something so fascinating about stories that defy convention by punching a hole where the character that is clearly supposed to be at the forefront and leading the charge should be, leaving the side characters around them to step up and fill in the gap (again, without getting into specifics, very Jade City). Fantastic premise to start a D&D campaign with.

All the characters are great. Thirteen whole dudes and not one of them was a dud. Even the ones who got fairly little screen time like Thimble, Kattigan, and Vaelus had incredibly strong intros, and the quieter characters like Hal and Azune leaned in hard to their deep connections to their fellow characters and the world and history around them. I've known these guys for one session and the grief and confusion and anger they're feeling at this monumental shift in their world (plus whatever the fuck is going on with Julien 'It's giving Jaime Lannister' Davinos) is palpable. Incredible stuff, no notes. I'm only sad it's not feasible to keep them all at one table all the time.

[stickandthorn]

the vibe occtis brings to the function

[suraelis]

From Critical Role C4EP1

You know it's a fucked up funeral when the literal demon spawn wasn't the worst person that came

[anglophile-rin]

Okay, Critters. There's a lot to absorb from last night's premier of Campaign 4, but one thing I know is on everyone's mind is this lying liar who lies:

Rocking up to the funeral, we meet Wicander Halovar, supposedly a third level Cleric of his family's brand spanking new religion, The Candescent Creed. He's earnest. He's nervous. He's 5'11. He's already been boxed into a chair by Orc DILF Hal. He has a Wisdom of 10.

Wait.

That's right, our naive little Cleric apparently has a 10 Wisdom and an 18 Charisma.

As a Cleric.

The people, they doubt.

I know a lot of people are thinking Warlock, because of the Charisma. Plus the fact that Tyranny, his personal pet demon aspirant, is a Warlock.

But might I suggest a different path?

We know Wick cast Thaumaturgy (to amplify his voice and get Tyranny's attention). We also know that this Campaign is playing by 2024 rules.

Thaumaturgy was a Cleric spell, yes. But if you look it up on dndbeyond (dndbeyooooond!) now, it shows it as a Cleric spell in Legacy rules only. Now, it's a spell used by a brand new class: Illrigger.

What's an Illrigger? I'm so happy you asked.

Well, that's interesting. And definitely makes the whole demon-aspirant angle make a bit more sense, now doesn't it?

Even more interesting, is what scores our friends the Illriggers should take:

Wicander: Charisma, 18. Constitution and Dexterity, 15. So, how about that Architect of Ruin subclass?

For a young man who's never seen a dead body before? Yeah, I can see it.

Now, of course, new Campaign, who dis, they might choose someone other than Asmodeus. But assuming they loosely base it on him, there are a few interesting tidbits to keep in mind.

Like Lucifer, Asmodeus was once a Celestial who fell and became the ruler of the hells. (Lucifer, notably, was known as The Light Bringer). Another interesting fact?

Oh hey, look! It's our girl!

(Oh, something else that I found interesting but could also be nothing: Tyranny specifically mentions her forked tongue in her intro, and Illriggers have a special ability called Forked Tongue. Maybe a little [forked] tongue-in-cheek callout?)

Asmodeus also specializes in political intrigue (which House Halovar seems to be getting deeper and deeper into) and wants nothing more than those delicious, delicious souls (every soul who passes joins the light!) And his arch-nemesis in Exandria was the Changebringer which, let's be real, Sam would.

This concludes my TedTalk on why I believe that Sam Riegel, lying liar and little shit, is playing an Illrigger in Campaign 4, based almost entirely on his decision to cast Thaumaturgy and his WIS 10 CHA 18 scores.

Is it Thursday yet?