[ID: A collage of screenshots from AO3. Each except is on its own line. They are from the text of a fic unless specified otherwise. They read as follows:
Jon is very good at repressing things that make him feel things,
Realizing that, in addition to being profoundly unobservant, he was also profoundly stupid.
It's for his own good, and it makes him feel... itchy.
(Note: this was a normal progression of events traditionally known as becoming friends.)
He should do that. He will do that. He absolutely doesn't.
"That's a lie.” “It's not,” Jon lies.
Jon isn't boring. He might dress like someone who inherited their entire wardrobe from their grandparents, and he might look like he's constantly on the verge of passing out from exhaustion, and he might laugh like he's only heard about laughing as a concept but has never actually tried it himself, but he doesn't seem
(Tag) Jon has the emotional intelligence of an amoeba,
instead he says, "I'm making tea. If you want some, that is." Martin doesn't immediately reply, which makes Jon go through a whole array of emotions between Of course he doesn't want tea over Why would anyone ever want tea from you right to No one is ever going to love you and you're going to die alone. Then Martin says, "I'd love a cuppa, thanks." Jon thinks, Right.
(Tag) love is stored in the Jon but it must battle for dominance with the stupid,
(Fic summary) the mortifying ordeal of being forgotten in a tesco car park, by vennix, The Magnus Archives (Podcast). Jon gets left in a tesco car park. That's it.
Jon would have resented the implication that he looked like the sort of person who would let a cat make off with his lunch if not for the fact that he absolutely was that sort of person. He considered resenting it anyway, just on principle.
And he couldn't seem to get along with any of them, for reasons which were... varying degrees of his own fault.
Not even Jon, whom Martin had once seen mention offhand that he had an orange and then eat an entire lemon without noticing his mistake, was that oblivious.
Carol texted him a link. Before he could respond, Jon burst out of his office, looking like the God of Drama had pulled his very soul from his body and committed it to tape, leaving him a hollow husk of a man. That, or maybe he just needed a nap.
God, Jon was almost expressing genuine human emotion.
"Um, can I help you with anything?" Martin asked, the kindest smile back on his face. And Jon yearned. For what? To punch him? To wipe that goddamn smile of his face?
"Jon wouldn't know a feeling if it hit him with a brick," Tim said, and Sasha nodded. Jon looked back at him. "Are you making fun of me?" Martin blinked. "Um. No?" He was praising him. Quite shamelessly, in fact.
Jon isn't...great, with displays of emotion. It usually makes him feel sort of itchy.
Jon is well aware that he's kind of allergic to being a person.
They were having a cup of tea, their second of the evening, and they were just talking. Like regular people who like each other's company. Jon was pretty sure there was a term for that.
Maybe he has a type, and Jon is just the latest in a long line of 'men who look like they avoid sleep for a living'."
Jon can almost hear the "I told you so" chorus from everyone who has ever warned him to think before he speaks.
They go through self-checkout and begin to make their way back towards the Institute. Jon sneaks a glance at the shopping bags. There is a comb sticking out of the top. "What's that for?" he says, pointing at it. "Er... your hair?" Martin gives him a sidelong look. "Let's be honest, it does need it." Jon tries to say thank you. What comes out instead is, "I don't... use combs." "I really, really believe that," says Martin. Jon decides that this is the last time he will try to do anything nice for another person.
Jon had never claimed he wasn't stupid.
(Tag) jon's lack of self-care is its own character,
Jon has seen him raise his voice exactly three times, and each of these was related to minor things such as Jon fainting from low blood pressure, Jon fainting from blood loss after being kidnapped again, and Jon not drinking the tea Martin made for fear of poison.
Martin stares at him. This in itself isn't that weird. Martin frequently stares at him, usually either after being given what Jon calls Clear Orders and what Jon has once overheard Martin refer to as Incomprehensible and Unreasonable Requests, or, alternatively, when John microwaves tea.
busy at the moment, try next year if i'm still alive.
- Don't go and sabotage this just because you felt an emotion."
